Chapter 32

Shiromiya folded the sheets, sitting on his futon. At Ai, they used to wash the bedding every day, and he was always in charge of organizing the fabrics for Nana to iron. It was a task that he carried out with simple pleasure, but on that mild spring morning, the boy felt his throat burn and tears well up in his eyes. He was holding them back, breathing deeply and trying not to think.

Suddenly, the sound of the door being opened made him spin in that direction. A hand came into view, beautiful and thin. He recognized immediately and felt uneasy. Then, suddenly, the hand went back, disappearing. When the hand appeared again, brought a small square white cloth. It was a universal signal of peace, and Shiromiya was moved by it.

" I can enter? " heard the friendly tone.

" Yes."

He dropped the sheets aside as he prepared for the conversation.

" Yesterday, you ran out of my house " Satoshi Ryo said, as he entered the bedroom. " I didn't even have time ..."

" I didn't want to hear your apologies again " it was straightforward. " I'm not available for a sensual game, Ryo-san. So, if you think in any way of getting such a thing from me, please, let's end our friendship now.

Ryo groaned. In his life, virgins had been easier to conquer. Even some young lady from the family did not need false words of love.

" Is it that hard to believe my feelings? " he said, making his best guilty face.

" I know how you see me " Shiro didn't hesitate. " I know what you think about me. You tried to buy me many times, did you forget? I'm poor and don't understand the lyrics, but I'm not a fool, Ryo-san " he felt his eyes burning again. " Of course I'm young, but I grew up on the streets. Hunger and hopelessness are great teachers."

Suddenly, Ryo felt completely ashamed. However, whose fault was it? It was Shiro who seduced him with that perfect face, and it was he who prevented him from pursuing his life as a normal man. Telling himself not to blink, Ryo held the other's face.

"Shiro, I just want to be with you," he said, so frank that he scared himself. "I know it's hard to believe, but my only desire is to take care of you." He took his hands. " Let me stay with you, Shiro ... I just want to make you happy."

It was such an intense request that Shiromiya opened his mouth in amazement. However, he did not have time to answer, Ryo approached quickly and kissed him lasciviously.

He didn't feel the strength at that time. Ryo sat next to the futon, enjoying his lips in a very gentle way. He melted, understanding that it would be difficult to deny the trader anything, as long as he was aware of the feelings he had for him.

However, he fell when he felt the other's beautiful fingers touching below his belly. He tried to free himself, but Ryo hugged him, extremely affectionate. Saying comforting words, he calmed him down.

" When two people like each other, Shiro " continued "naturally, they feel the need to feel the other's heart beating against them, the reaction of their bodies, the heat that emanates ..."

Shiro looked at him, nervous and surprised.

"I feel a great need to touch you," he continued, in a whisper, before putting his soft lips back on the other. "Just, let me caress your body," he groaned, dropping his hand again to the small mound that seemed to stiffen over his contact.

Shiromiya whimpered, but Ryo didn't stop, spurred on by the hug he gave his. He was afraid that the minor was looking for something to hold on to, and Ryo was not unreasonable to make himself available for that.

As he raised his mouth to Shiro's ears, he opened the button of the linen pants with his nimble fingers. The small mound became stiff and protruded from his pants, erect, masculine. Shiro was startled by the reaction of his own body and tried to escape, but Ryo had already trapped his body with his weight.

Lying on the futon, for the first time in their lives, Shiro felt an absurdly wonderful pain running through his body. He couldn't speak, but something inside him was screaming for to stop. However, the other side of him sent all fears to the hell. Delivered, he groaned, leaving the other in such a euphoric state that, for a few seconds, he believed that Ryo would devour him without shame.

In a mixture of satisfaction and anger at himself, Shiro finally stopped fighting his feelings.

Suddenly, the hands that once pushed Ryo grabbed the trader's neck. Digging his nails into his neck, Shiro rose high, further igniting the other.

" I'll give you pleasure " Ryo promised against his ear, his body in an erotic dance against the other, making it clear how much he wanted it. "But I won't be satisfied until you're ready, I promise," s whispered.

When the older man's perfect hands abandoned the romantic touch, and became carnally aggressive, Shiro bit Satoshi's shoulder, trying not to scream. The contact, in an up and down movement, was so rhythmic that he seemed to see stars for a few seconds.

"I don't want to be like those men," Shiromiya said, suddenly surprising both of them.

He realized that he was in such a state of excitement that he could have resembled those damned people who had stolen his dreams and childhood from him.

" Look at me " Ryo pulled his face. "You're not doing anything wrong," he said. " You are with the person you like!" seemed to be moved for a few seconds. "There is nothing more beautiful than sharing the experience with the one you love ..."

Ryo bit his lower lip, feeling that those words went against everything he believed. Now, what the hell was he saying? He felt inhumane for using such a trick on a boy who would never experience the feeling of love.

Although ... he too had never been loved before either!

Then he realized that Shiromiya was the first person who had felt it for him. It almost got out of bed, but the other's fast breathing stopped him. Increasing the pace, it allowed Shiro to explode in his hands, while his body convulsed in a sexual cadence.

For a few seconds, while watching the heavy breathing, he turned his eyes to his hands. The white liquid slid through his fingers. He never imagined that he would have another man's enjoyment in his hands.

" Ry-chan " the melodious sound took any guilt or weakness from him. " I..."

The tired, post-orgasm eyes made Ryo smile. Then he took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his fingers.

"It's okay, Shiro," he said, reassuring him. " Sleep now, you must be tired ..."

A lifetime of being released so hotly on an April morning would leave anyone exhausted.

" You will return? " Shiro questioned, fighting his own eyes that seemed heavy like never before.

" Of course I'll be back " Ryo smiled. " At night, as always ..."

" And how will our friendship be from now on?"

Ryo smiled again. He hoped things would change.

"Now I'm yours," he said, turning back to the other and kissing his lips. " And I will be waiting for the moment that you are mine ..."

Shiro smiled and then surrendered to Morpheus's arms.

***

Ryo noticed the man sitting at the desk, furiously scribbling papers, while rumbling about the rising prices of fishing gear and the low profit his company had made that month.

It didn't take long to recognize the place. It was his home in Sapporo, Hokkaido. However, the furniture was a little different, the atmosphere was clearer, and the feeling more comforting. It was his home, but he knew without having to think too much that, unlike what he currently lives, a family lived there.

Your family.

He walked a few steps, like a ghost. The man raised his hands, moving his curvy fingers to his hair, bringing the bangs back. And that was when Ryo recognized himself. There, in front of him, was a perfect picture of his future. Maybe ten or fifteen years ahead, not too old, however, probably in his forties and early.

Suddenly, Ryo heard the sound of footsteps. He turned back and faced a young teenage girl with a pretty face and restless eyes.

" Did you tell Mitsuru that you would cut his dick if he dated me?"

Ryo's eyes widened, looking at the figure sitting at the desk, waiting for his reaction. The man, however, did not seem so surprised. His face was almost amused.

" I said I would cut his dick if he were wanting to date my daughter with bad intentions."

Ryo was spaced out. Would he have a daughter? It was a surprise he never expected.

" You have no right to interfere with my dating! Mitsuru broke up with me because of you!"

" Do I no have the right? "

"Things are not as they used to be," she faced him. " Today, we women ..."

" This is something that American artists keep putting on the head of naive young people like you! " interrupted her.

Then he noticed the girl's face turning red, and her eyes flashed. He took two steps back, afraid of the coming hurricane.

" Don't speak ill of Elvis! " shouted.

" A man who dances around ... " Ryo looked amazed. " You should listen to music from your own country!"

" I listen to what I want! Nobody will forbid me to do what I want!

" How can I not? I support you, I pay for the school you studies, the clothes you wears! Besides, I am your father " The man returned. " Don't you dare raise your voice to me, Miya!"

Suddenly, the girl's red face whitened. The beautiful black eyes became a sea of ​​tears. She turned away, running towards the stairs. Ryo, astonished, saw himself looking uncomfortable, dejected. He never thought of life in running after a girl, especially a daughter who was screaming at her father. If he were there now, arguing, and not a Ryo from the future, clearly different, he would have stuck his hand in her face for daring to retort.

" Daughter " the other Ryo called her. " Forgive me, I shouldn't yell at you ..."

Ryo grunted angrily, thinking about what moment in life he had become a banana submissive by his daughter.

However, he felt a shock in his heart when he saw the girl turning towards him and running towards him.

That brotherly hug they exchanged, made the trader of the past feel a huge emptiness ... He realized in that instant how much he needed that girl ... how lonely he felt without her ... And without her mother, be it whoever that woman was.

***

" When happened? " Shin asked, raising the glass of whiskey to his mouth.

" This afternoon, while napping in the office. "

" And?"

" Do you understand what it means? " Ryo seemed amazed at his conclusions. " I'm getting married! And it will be soon, considering that I didn't look much older. So, it means that the woman of my life will appear soon. Isn't it exciting? I know it is not the one I have kept since childhood, but it will certainly be special."

Shin agreed. Then he turned his eyes to the side. The Red House, another brothel in the prostitution district, was strangely calm that night. Even so, he was uncomfortable with the sight. He pushed his thoughts away.

" So you will stop seeing Shiromiya? "

" And why would I stop?"

" But, you said to yourself ..."

" Tush! Shin Sakamoto! Let's be practical. I will do my best to sleep with him, to get rid of this obsession. Then, I will follow my life ..."

" What if it doesn't pass? What will you do?"

" Many men keep lovers in houses next to their cities. Shiro refuses me now, but I know that he will accept going to Hokkaido with me. When that happens, and it will be soon, I will enjoy everything I can. If I still hold any desire for his body, I will send him to one of my houses, and I will give him a comfortable life. I will see him whenever I want, or can."

"It looks cruel," Shin grunted.

" Cruel is aging without money or in need. I will give him everything need. He will have a good life with me and, at the same time, I will keep a wife who will be equally loved within my home."

Shin shrugged, drinking again.

"I would never subject someone I loved to such a thing," Say indifferent to the other's angry look. " If I loved a woman and married her, I would be faithful to her. Likewise, if I loved a man, I would never leave him alone to live a life of lies."

Ryo was irritated by the words but did not contain them. How, by the way, would he defend your point of view in the face of the truth that Sakamoto opened wide in your face?

" Shiro is just a prostitute ... " he said, however, in a vain attempt to defend himself.

" You say that with uncomfortable insistence. Do you want to convince yourself that he is just that?"

" What do you mean?"

"I don't know," he admitted. " Just, I never saw him running after someone as you does with Shiro. I never saw you like that! You spend your days devoting your full attention to a boy who insists on calling of nobody. This dubiousness is bothering me. Sometimes you are a man completely guided by your instincts and you want a boy who dances dressed as a woman, sometimes you are a family man, who loves his dirty-mouthed daughter."

" How can you talk about my daughter like that?"

" The brat said "dick". " Shin found out. " What woman says "dick"? If were still my daughter, but yours?"

" Maybe you're like a second father."

The thought pleased Shin.

" It doesn't matter " Ryo slid back, leaning back in his chair. " This is my life, regardless of how wrong you think it is."

Sakamoto took a deep breath, giving up the fight.

" Good luck then..."

" I don't need luck when I have the whole future before me."

The other gave a sad smile.

" You never saw anything about me, did you? With each passing day, I become more convinced that I will not survive the war."

" The fact that I do not see you does not mean that you died, only that we will not be in the same place at certain times. For example, this view of my daughter. Maybe you were in town, maybe even at my house, sleeping in bedroom or reading in the garden. I just didn't see you."

" It's okay, Ryo " Shin reassured him. " I do not care anymore..."

Ryo was not in the mood to endure Shin's crying, so he just took a pen from his pocket and started scribbling a name on a piece of napkin.

" Elvis? " Shin observed, curious.

" Just a reminder, my friend ... Just a reminder."

***

Shiromiya bowed to his audience. Then he walked away from the stage as usual, into the dark, narrow corridor, towards the bedroom itself.

Suppressing tears, he condemned himself. Ryo had not come to see him, as he had promised. The afternoon didn't show up either. Probably sorry for the act he had done that morning. Embarrassed, Shiro felt tremendously obscene, he had soiled Ryo's hands with that sensation that cut his soul every time he thought.

However, at the same time as he squirmed with embarrassment, a powerful feeling of happiness welled up in his heart. Ryo had talked about feelings, maybe he loved him the same way. Even though Ryo hadn't come to see Kazue ... Could Shiro still hope?

Suddenly he felt his body collide with another. He apologized to Midori, who smiled at him.

" Have you finished your dance? " she asked.

" Yes. Wasn't you in the saloon?"

"No," she denied. " I was attending a client who needed to leave early because it was his son's birthday."

The comment caused an unpleasant sensation in Shiromiya.

" Midori, do you think this man who has been with you loves his wife and family?"

"I don't know." She didn't seem to find the question strange. " Who could answer something like that?"

" He came to meet you the same night his son has a birthday. Isn't it awful?"

" I'm just doing my job! " replied uncomfortably.

Shiro denied immediately, touching her as if in apology.

" That's not what I meant ... Just, are men of wealth able to love?"

The feminine look cleared.

" Ah, I don't believe that much ..."

" Do you think anyone could fall in love with people like us?"

Midori took a deep breath, fully understanding where this story was going.

" You fall in love? By whom? Jiro or Ryo?"

Shiromiya looked taken aback.

" What? Is not it..."

" People like us, Shiro, only get out of this life if we go elsewhere. We will only get married or have a family if we can find someone who doesn't know our past."

" Midori ..."

" If you like Jiro, you have a chance. The sergeant is a kind and sweet person. He is quite capable of assuming it, without fear of what other people will think. However, there is a chance, however small, that in the future he will despise you. When passion passes, our past becomes a very heavy burden, believe me."

" But I..."

Without letting him continue, the woman went on.

" But if you like Ryo, I feel sorry for you. You will spend your whole life suffering from someone who will never love you. Ryo wants a woman from a good family to introduce her to society. He would never take a man as a lover. Even if you accept that, you will be condemned to live in the shadows, hidden from everyone. And when he gets tired, he will throw you away like garbage, as he has done with many before you."

Shiro lowered his face, defeated, and then the girl realized who he had fallen in love with.

" Oh shit! " scolded. " Why Ryo? It will only hurt you!"

" I know..."

" Forget him, understand?" advised. "Don't be naive, Ryo Satoshi will cook your liver and eat it for breakfast. It will destroy you, it will reduce your feelings."

"He said he liked me," he persevered.

" He says that to all the women in Ai! He once told Keiko that he was going to marry her, believe me? Keiko was extremely professional and remained steadfast while he played at seducing. She served him for a long time, and one day he simply arrived at Ai and asked for another girl. Without giving reasons, he just got tired. When Keiko left, he just commented on something irrelevant, as if the girl who served him for more than a year was just an adornment. Then came Rika, Aki, Sumiko ... And even me. He didn't even look us in the face. But for all of us, he spoke of feelings."

Shiro flinched. Midori felt sorry and hugged him, despite continuing to be tough.

"Promise me you won't fall for his conversation ..."

The other nodded.

" You have a chance to get out of here, Shiro. You can save money, buy a house, escape that life. Don't miss this chance, don't waste it with someone like Ryo."

Her words remained stuck in him, even when Midori disappeared into the darkness.