Chapter 37

Shiromiya Kazue saved Mamoru Aiko. It would be a lie to say that what drove him to drag his friend's heavy body into the hole leading to the shelter was something great, such as legitimate courage or tender love. The truth was that clinging to Mamoru, while he felt his head throbbing from the loud sound of explosions, and the crying cut his throat as the earth shone in his core, the dancer from Ai remembered the little fat cat and tabby he had left at the shelter.

Suddenly, he became aware that Minikui was trapped there, filled with cans of food and gallons of water that he would not be able to open to feed and drink. Who would miss an animal when the entire Tokyo was on fire? His mind then visualized the poor cat meowing in despair as the earth shook and the lights flashed. He imagined him with the days passing by, suffering from starvation, and feeling abandoned. Minikui was as much a part of his family as Aiko and Nana. He could no longer save Nana, but he would never abandon Minikui on his own. Then, standing up, he put his hands under Mamoru's armpits and pulled him away. Determined, he focused on the goal of saving his protector.

While hell seemed to be installed around him, Shiro made a difficult and painful journey to the entrance of the shelter. When he got there, he pulled the iron bolt up and practically threw Aiko's body down. When he went in behind him and closed the door, he heard another terrible sound over his head. Then he realized that a bomb had gone off in the exact spot where it had been a minute earlier. Aware that he might be dead, he finally slipped from the wooden stairs and fell, crashing into a numb Mamoru.

Then the hours seemed to drag on. The sound of the bombs lasted so long that his head was still feeling throbbing even when the explosions stopped; however, hours later, all that remained was silence. It seemed to the boy that the tabby cat, Mamoru Aiko, and he were the only survivors of that horror.

Shiromiya, a few years later, would know that that night, the Japanese capital had been bombed by more than 300 aircraft specially loaded with explosives that transformed an area of ​​forty kilometers into a large gasoline-powered stove.

Passive survivor of more than one hundred thousand dead, kept in a private shelter with water and food, while thousands were left homeless and helpless, he would be forever grateful to Ryo for convincing Mamoru to build that environment that had freed him from pain and devastation.

However, the moment he placed Aiko's body on the bed, Shiromiya could only think of his pain and despair. What would he do? What would become of them? Yes, he did think of war sometimes. However, he never imagined it that way. He felt so weak and unprotected that he sat beside the bed and cried for so long that he lost track of the hours.

The mind was very focused on Nana, even though she was not the only person he loved who was dead. Shiro didn't know Mika and Midori's fate. Did Keiko survive? And Jiro? Shin? God! If something had happened to Ryo, he wouldn't be able to take it.

The next day, still locked in the shelter, he decided to occupy himself. When Ryo hurt him, he used to spend all day in the garden, taking care of the plants. At that moment, knowing that his flowers were all destroyed and unable to move away from the place he was in, he started taking care of the only thing there that needed care.

He took a towel and moistened it with a little water. Then he returned to Aiko, trying to wipe the blood that had dried on his face. As he worked, he realized that he would never see Nana again, that he didn't hug her for the last time, or say goodbye. Shiro never thanked for everything she had done for him, nor rewarded her with anything to be proud of. So, washing Aiko, he struggled to hold his tears. But the tears were stronger than he was. He knelt before Mamoru and wept again, clutching his lap.

As the shock passed, he realized that Aiko was not responding to his words and touches. He also didn't cry, didn't speak, didn't complain. Aiko sat there, his eyes inert. He looked ahead, but Shiro knew that he wasn't seeing anything in particular. In silence, even his blinking was slow and forced.

Then he opened the first can of tuna out of the many stored there. He served half to Minikui in a small pot and took the rest to Mamoru. As he did not even look at him, Shiro took a piece of the groundfish and put it in his mouth, forcing it in. Anything.

"You need to eat, Aiko-san," he said.

He received no returns. He even tried to urge his friend to open his lips, but his locked mouth made no mention of help. Then he took the rest back to the cat, who appeared to be less shocked than humans.

At the end of the first day inside the shelter, Shiromiya started to feel cold, which was even funny, because a few meters above his head, Tokyo literally caught fire. With a small blanket, he rolled up and sat next to Aiko, while feeling his teeth chattering against each other. He had a fever there, next to someone who had lost consciousness, and a cat that could do nothing to help him.

"React, please," he pleaded as he lay down beside the courtier. "Please, I can't do it alone," he whimpered.

His answer was silence.

Moments later, Minikui jumped on the single bed and huddled between the warm bodies of his tutors. And with the cat's low purr, he closed his eyes.

***

Shin Sakamoto and Ryo Satoshi needed to be trapped inside the shelter for their safety. While the city burned and its inhabitants were charred, both wanted to roam the streets of the capital like heroes going to save their loved ones. Nonsense aside, the most lucid of them, Jiro Saito, upon realizing the intent, arrested them. It was not an easy task, it is true, but after knocking out Sakamoto - something that no one else would dare to do - he got the support of one of the soldiers, and both, finally, managed to handcuff Ryo and carry him underground. Shin went there unconscious.

Of course, Saito worried about Aiko and Kazue. However, there was nothing to do. The heat in the center at the radius of forty kilometers from where the bombs were thrown reached a temperature of 800ºC. No human being would survive that. Most of those who tried to move forward to meet their families died of burns or asphyxiation.

Even there, where the bombs did not hit, the smoky air was difficult to breathe. Wearing a gas mask, he followed with some soldiers in the vicinity of Tokyo, trying to find a safe way to go with Shin later. However, such an attempt was impossible in the first forty-eight hours.

On the morning of the third day, after the bombing, he opened the door to the shelter. Sakamoto advanced on him, but Jiro defended himself, throwing the body of the royal member against the wall.

" Now, are you worried about the Chinese? sound, irritated. "I thought you wanted him to die," he said cruelly. " Maybe, if the bombs didn't kill him, we can finish the job ourselves?"

Ryo was shocked by the tone, but he understood Jiro's irritation. It took a bombing and the almost unquestionable possibility of Aiko's death for Shin to react like the passionate man he was.

He stood between them and faced Saito.

"Aiko has a shelter," he said, grudgingly. " I saw Shiro in many future visions, so I know he is alive. However, I don't want to count on it without looking at it and seeing it with my own -physical - eyes " he said. " Only then will I be sure it is okay."

" Yes, I know about the shelter " Saito nodded. " However, everything went so fast ... I'm afraid they didn't have time."

Sakamoto said nothing. What could it manifest? He was ashamed of himself, for being so desperate. Now, shouldn't he be relieved? Why did he suffer so much for someone who was not even a legitimate Japanese?

However, the answers were clearer than any doubt. He loved Mamoru, he would no longer leave him at the mercy of anything.

They took to the streets shortly after. As they approached the affected areas, the agony became clear despair. Everywhere, huge buildings became just a heap of concrete. Most of the houses turned to dust, and the people were just pieces of legs, heads, and arms thrown into the open.

As the faltering steps advanced, Shin's face contorted in pain and sadness. More than anyone else, he felt every tear shed, every cry of the hopelessness of a survivor, and every mourning on unknown faces. However, nothing plagued him more than guilt.

" Why? " he asked himself for the first time since the beginning of the war. " Why? " repeated, this time louder, causing Saito to face him. " Why were we so arrogant? Why do we listen to the military? Why do we allow our people to perish?"

He heard no answer. There were no coherent answers to be given. It had been a succession of mistakes and bad choices that had led them to that moment. And in the face of so many bodies, no request for forgiveness would suffice.

It took them almost a day to walk among the wreckage. No car could reach the red quarter, as the streets were impassable. So each of them went out in the morning with a bottle of water and a determination to find friends.

As Ai approached, Ryo slowed his pace and motioned for Saito to accompany him. Away from Shin, the trader whispered:

" I always saw Shiro in my visions, but I never saw Aiko. So..."

" Do you think Mamoru died?"

"I don't want to believe that, but the possibility exists and it is the most certain one so far," he said, feeling his eyes sting. Ryo grunted, pretending the smoke was the cause of his weakness, and wiped his eyes, turning back to Jiro. " If Aiko died, Shin will go crazy."

" I know that."

"You need to take the revolver out of his holster," he asked. " The moment he sees Aiko's body, he will shoot himself in the head, I'm sure of it."

Jiro nodded.

"I'll stay alert," promised.

The street leading to Ai was completely covered in ash. There were no more houses or walls surrounding it. Several pieces of what had once been people were scattered above and below the remains of the residences. However, everyone was burned and it was not possible to recognize either the faces or the sexes.

When they arrived in front of the old House of Love, the commotion could no longer be avoided. There was nothing left. No wall or one of the flowers that Shiro cared for with such love. Even the gate was on the ground, burned.

Jiro was the first to enter. The stone corridor was dirty, and smoke still blew from the hardwood walls around it. He covered his nose with a cloth when he was asphyxiated by the smell.

The pieces of Nana was his first complete vision. He recognized her legs by their size, despite the dark tone. The top of her body was nowhere to be seen.

" Where's Mamoru? " he heard Shin's distressed tone. " Where is he? " Sakamoto shouted, pushing Jiro and entering the wreckage.

Saito tried to hold him, while Ryo Satoshi remained static. After all, his concern was different: where was Shiromiya?

Kazue should be there, sitting on the stairs, waiting for him. However, Nana was dead, and Aiko could have gone gray.

As Ryo had predicted, when Shin entered what was left of the room and did not find Mamoru, he pulled the revolver from his waist. The loud boom of the bullet crashed against a wall, causing splinters to fly away. This was because Saito Jiro grabbed Sakamoto at the exact moment when he was bringing the pipe to his mouth.

" You coward son of a bitch! " Jiro shouted.

For the second time in those days, he hit Shin.

" I? Coward? " Shin reacted. " My country is over, we lost the war! " shouted. " My uncle will be humiliated, my family can be hanged, and the only person I loved died while I was away and could do nothing for his! Give me a reason for me to live, Saito! "

A low meow reached him at that moment. Turning his face, he noticed a fat, frightened cat near him.

Suddenly, he knelt on the floor, and Minikui ran to him. He pressed the small body against his face, wetting the fur with his tears. He didn't notice right behind the cat Shiromiya Kazue, wrapped in a dirty blanket, crying at the scene.

***

Ryo was the first to see him, standing next to what must have been a concrete pillar, his face dusty with dark ash and his eyes overflowing with tears. Alive, however. Even though it was forever marked by that March night, that morning three days after the bombing, Kazue Shiromiya breathed in front of him, while trying to warm up his body on a dirtier blanket than the ground they walk on.

He ran towards his. At that moment, Saito and Shin noticed he too, but Ryo reached him first. He couldn't think, he held his face with both hands, carefully watching every detail he loved so much.

Ryo smiled.

Shiro was there. Shiro was fine. He realized at that moment that the poor boy was his most precious asset. Pulling his face close to him, he kissed his lips fervently, trying not only to comfort him for his absence of months but also to make it clear that he would protect him from that moment on. The other did not refuse, although it did not respond to his affection. Static, Shiro only felt his lips being crushed by Ryo's hungry mouth, who only released him when the air started to run out of his lungs.

Saito Jiro was tempted to make a rude comment, irritated by what he considered to be more of merchant's theater, but his eyes remained on Shin and whatever his master was about to do. To his relief, Sakamoto walked over to Shiro. Moving the other away from Ryo, after dropping the cat on the floor, he held Kazue's shoulders tightly. He watched him closely and noticed the defeated look of the youngest.

" Are you alright? " he asked, although those were not the words he wanted to say.

" I'm fine ... " Shiro nodded.

It no was true. The trembling body under the covers denoted something else. Saito approached him and extended his hand on his forehead. Then he gave his fellow travelers a meaningful look.

" You need to see a doctor " Ryo pulled him by the hand.

" But ..."

" Aiko " Shin interrupted, saying the name that seemed to cut his soul. " He is...?

Did not complete the sentence. He couldn't.

" He's in the shelter, but I can't tell if he's okay ..."

The answer made Sakamoto's chest ache.

" Why?"

Shiro pointed out the direction of what was in the orchard. Shin ran over there, and Saito followed him. Ryo stayed beside him, unable to move.

"I worried about you so much," he admitted. �� I mean, I knew I would survive because I saw him ..."

"In your visions," Shiromiya concluded. " Yes, you always say that."

"Sorry if it bothers you," he sounded sincere. " Just, somehow, I knew you was fine. So, as soon as it was possible to pass through the streets, I came to you because you are important to me.."

" It is very sad that bombing is necessary for people to recognize the importance of others in their life. " Shiro looked at him. " I needed you many times in the past. I needed you that day that you ignored me in the park, running away because I made an unfortunate comment about feelings. I wanted to you put yours hands on my shoulders and, even though you said didn't share the same emotions, you still understood mine. But you wasn't there for me. You were not at my side either when the bombs went off, and I survived. So I don't need you right now, Ryo-san. I've comforted myself, I've learned that I'm strong.

Denying his words, he tried to pull away, but his legs faltered. Shiro would fall to the floor if it weren't for Ryo's strong hands to hold him.

"You don't need me, Shiro," he whispered. "But I need you," he said.

***

Shin Sakamoto was the first to descend through the hole in the ground. He realized that the shelter that Aiko had built was well planned and made, with a good ventilation system. And there was also a stock of water and dehydrated food on shelves to the left. It was lit by a power generator, and the single bed on the side had a mattress and blankets. However, he didn't really pay much attention to the environment. Soon his eyes watched a man sitting, his eyes open, but he didn't seem to really see. He breathed slowly, with difficulty.

Mamoru ...

The dried blood-covered body was dirty. The beautiful hair he used to bear loose and shiny, were glued, his clothes torn and his mouth was hurt.

"He is in shock " Saito appeared beside him, and then ran to his friend. "Mamoru," he called. " It's me, Jiro ... " He put a hand in front of Aiko's eyes and waved his hand from side to side, trying to get his attention. Anything. "The mouth is going down, " he said to Shin. " He is dehydrated, he must be without drinking water since the bombing. We need to get him out of here and get him to a doctor. Need serum ...

He barely finished speaking and noticed Shin pulling him. Then the other bowed to Aiko and lifted him.

"Come on," he said urgently.

Jiro nodded.

They were back in the yard in minutes. Shin brought Aiko, who received a pat on Ryo's forehead. The two friends looked at each other and smiled. Strange as it seemed, it was important to they that new mood.

"Aiko is alive," Shin said, his voice overflowing with emotion. " I'll take you to the bunker[50]."

" I need to talk to you before we go " Ryo warned.

" Now? Mamoru needs care."

" Now " Ryo stated.

Displeased, Shin placed Mamoru sitting on a stone bench that survived the attack. Then he followed the man in the direction of the ex-garden. Ryo only stopped walking when they were a safe distance from the trio.

" Are you going to take Mamoru to the bunker?"

" It's the safest place in Tokyo. At this time, my family must be there. The Emperor was also taken there ..."

" And will you take Mamoru and Shiro? " he asked again, repetitive.

" I will never leave Mamoru out of my sight again."

" And Shiro ...?"

"Good," he bent his forehead, uncomfortable. " I'll find away. My room in the bunker has two beds. One for me and one for my servant. "Look to Saito. " But we can share the bed. Aiko and Shiro will be able to sleep in a bed. I sleep on the floor if I have to.

Ryo took a deep breath.

" I'll take Shiromiya with me to Hokkaido."

" What? " Shin raised his eyebrows. " You can't do that! Shiro and Aiko are very close. Furthermore, with Nana's death, Shiromiya is everything Aiko has to consider his family."

The merchant coughed. Then he took a deep breath again, searching for the best words. When he didn't find them, he said what he needed, despite the difficulty.

"I will be very clear so that there is no doubt about the seriousness of the situation, my friend," he said. " Shiromiya goes with me to Hokkaido. There will be no discussion about this. You will tell him that now, and it will be emphatic and clear. If he doesn't want to go, you will force him, even if you need to use your position as a real member. I don't care about his form of coercion, you'll get him into my car in any way."

Shin bit his lower lip, very irritated.

"Shiromiya is my protégé," he said. " The country may be collapsing, but it won't talk to me in that tone, you shit."

Ready. Shin had lost his temper, and now it would be much easier to manipulate.

"Let's be objective, my dear friend. You are taking your friends to the bunker, which should only be used by the Imperial family. It will be breaking rules, but I believe that no one will stand against your will. However, will they have the same understanding when they find out that one of the boys you're taking there is Chinese?" He opened his mouth, staring in amazement. "Oh dear, a Chinese man breathing the same air as the mighty Emperor!"

" I kill you."

"It will take a while to find the weapon that Saito took from you and placed on the rubble." He opened his coat and showed him the pistol collected. " Sakamoto-san, we have been friends since we were children, I would never do anything to harm him, but the world is ending and I will not die without enjoying the pleasures that until then have been denied me."

" Go to the devil! " Shin whispered.

" I won't hurt Shiromiya. On the contrary, I will give him a wonderful life. He will be my private lover, I will put you in a beautiful house, with servants to take care of every bit of it. Shiro will have food, drink, pleasures. He will have more with me than you can imagine."

"But it's cruel," he said. " Taking him away from Mamoru is a cruelty beyond measure." He put both hands on his face, pushing the bangs back. " I thought you liked him ..."

" And I like."

"You don't like it," he denied. " If you liked, you would try to keep them together. You don't even like Aiko, knowing what he will feel when he wakes up from this shock and notices that the little brother he loves so much has been taken away."

Ryo was uncomfortable with the words.

" I'm just making my destiny come true. It wouldn't have to be like that if Shiromiya was less ..."

"Less what? You will not find the word, my friend. Because what you want from Shiromiya is that he doesn't have self-love, that he submits to everything for you. And you know what? You won, Ryo. Take he with you, but keep my words. One day in the future, you will regret what you are doing. You will realize that it would be much easier to reach Shiro's heart with respect. And you will also regret what you are doing to your friends."

" Keep your curses in the ass, Shin Sakamoto " Ryo raised his finger at him, in hand. " I was with you for months, I endured your drunkenness and your irresponsibility. And want to know more? Your beloved Mamoru is only alive now because I told you to build a shelter. Don't you dare try to throw curses at me, because I deserve to be happy, and I will be with Shiromiya."

Shin turned away and started walking towards the trio.

" I won't hold back hurts, Ryo. I know that one day you will ask me for forgiveness for that."

" Never."

" We'll see..."

***

" He can take my place " Saito retorted, being struck by Ryo's angry look.

" And where will you stay? " The merchant grunted.

" Well, I can go to Hokkaido with you."

Shin and Ryo did have that obstacle. Saito seemed to read their minds and be willing to disrupt those plans.

" You can't, Jiro. Need you. Besides, I won't be able to take Shiro to the bunker."

" I can stay here, " Shiromiya said. " I have water and food at the shelter."

" You have a fever, needs care. Besides, as soon as other people realize that there is food here, you may have problems. It's not safe."

"But I don't want to go far from Aiko-san," he said.

"I don't want you to go either, Shiro." Shin bowed to him, holding his knees. " You cannot imagine how I fear Aiko's reaction when he realizes that you're not beside him. But, Shiro ..."

He fell silent. There was pure regret in his tone. And it was not a false fault like Ryo Satoshi's. Knowing Shin as he did, Saito noticed his drama and decided to intervene.

" Well, it will be for a little while, right? " turned to Shiro. " Trust me, as soon as possible I will come to you."

Ryo looked even more annoyed than usual and almost came between them. However, he did nothing to frighten Shiro. He wanted the other to think that his actions were just consequences of the moment.

"I have a good shelter, Shiro," he said. " You'll be safe with me, I promise."

The boy then nodded. However, soon after, he burst into an uncontrollable cry. Jiro felt his eyes sting and Shin turned away, refusing to see it. Ryo, however, remained unmoved. He knew Shiro was crying at that moment, but it would make him very happy. One day Shiromiya would thank him for that.

So Shiro went to Mamoru. She knelt before him and grabbed him, hiding his face in him belly. He cried so much that he wet the protector's kimono, feeling as lost and abandoned as never before.

" Forgive me Aiko-san, " he asked. "I promise that one day I'll be back," he looked up, feeling the tears fall out of control."

Shiromiya did not know, but the kiss on Mamoru's tired face would be a memory that would cherish him for many years. As if foreseeing, he kept Aiko's impassive countenance in mind and promised to never forget his face, not knowing that the years would carry that memory, leaving only a gentle warmth in his heart.