Chapter 45

Living in a country at war left the population in such a state that the nights lost their importance. There was no rest, just apprehension. Then, when Shiromiya Kazue arrived at the bus terminal, around five-thirty in the morning, he noticed the busy place, despite the hour.

Mostly, children. Japan had become a country of orphans. The older ones worked for the coal factories in exchange for soup and a place to settle and sleep; but many small children sat by the road and cried day and night, waiting for bread.

Until they died...

It would normally take an hour to get to the bus station. However, the delay was caused by the several times he had to circumvent mutilated bodies thrown into the open. In the first bombing, a large part of the dead was buried, but as bombs dropped from the sky almost every day, the survivors lost the strength to cover up their loved ones.

Shiro sat on a wooden bench, watching the people as they crossed. They looked like the undead, looking apathetic, without hope, looking for something. He lowered his forehead, wiping away the rest of the tear that ran down his face. There were greater pains in the world than a loving disappointment, and he knew it. He had already experienced that in the flesh and, as great as the suffering caused by Ryo, he would find a reason to live.

Suddenly, he saw a girl crossing by him. She was pretty, with pale skin and straight black hair hanging down her back. There was nothing special about she except the fact that she seemed too small, even for the orphans who walked around.

How old was she? Three or four? The little girl ran across the terminal, making the sound of her footsteps sound in the distance. Childhood was innocent in it and he thought how happy he would have been if he had had a happy childish to enjoy.

He looked around for her parents. None of the adults seemed to notice she. However, as soon as he thought about it, he saw a man approaching. He took a deep breath, watching the two of them talking.

The man bent and patted the top of the girl's head. Shiro smiled, thinking they were father and daughter. However, then the man looked around as if worried that someone might have noticed the occurrence. Then he took the child by the hand and pulled her out of the terminal.

Shiro stood up.

There was not too much in the act, but it was the excited look of that man that he recognized as the many he had been subjected to years before.

Before he could even control himself, he moved toward them both.

" Hey! " shouted.

The man turned to him, somewhat uncomfortable.

" Where are you going with my daughter?" He asked nervously.

It was a kick in the dark, but it was accurate.

" Sorry, I ... " the man tried to explain himself, but before Shiro could turn to a policeman in the distance, he released the girl, practically running from there.

All of Shiromiya's pain became revolt. He felt an urge to go after the other, and call him to the fight. Bastard! How dare you try to catch a small child like that? Such men deserved the gallows!

" Hmm? " the child pulled his fingers, making him turn towards her, forgetting the citizen almost immediately. "The man said he was going to give me food," she explained. " I'm hungry."

Kazue looked around. Near where tickets were bought, a woman offered hot bread.

"Come with me," he said, taking her hand.

Small fingers clamped tightly on his. He smiled, completely entranced by the delicacy.

He bought a small roll and handed it to the girl. She practically swallowed everything, in a few bites, so fast she ate. Watching her, he noticed that she was thin, the bones around her neck protruding.

Children at that age should be plump and not skeletal!

" You have parents?" He asked.

She nodded.

" And where are they?

Certainly, they were irresponsible parents who allowed a child of that size to walk through the terminal alone at such a time!

"There," she pointed down an alley.

" Is very far?"

Denied.

"Come on," he held out his hand. " I'll take you to your parents."

The girl finished eating the bread as soon as they arrived outside the bus station. Then, she wiped her dirty hand on the clothes, causing Shiro to look at the clothes too.

"We look like two beggars," he laughed, and she smiled too.

The boy's heart warmed. She was so small, so fragile ... How he would like to have someone like that for him.

Four blocks later, she pointed to a destroyed house. Shiro took a deep breath, suddenly aware of the reasons why the girl was so poorly dressed and hungry.

"I'm very sorry," he said, looking at her.

" Grandma and grandpa never showed up after the 'boom' " she said.

They must have died in the blasts and their parents told him some story to hide the horror that the family was going through.

Shiro clapped his hands, trying to call the owners. Although in the distance the sun was rising, the house was open, and the door was wide open.

Then he entered.

" Hello?" He called at the entrance.

No answers.

He was about to turn to the child when he noticed a foot on the floor, near a compartment that was supposed to be a bedroom.

Entering, he had to cover his nose in the face of the strong odor.

"The neighbor covered Mom and Dad with a sheet," the child explained, appearing beside him and pointing the two bodies on the floor. " I call for Mom, but she doesn't wake up. Since the second 'boom' they only sleep."

Shiromiya felt his eyes fill with tears.

Then he knelt before the two bodies and offered a brief prayer. The little girl was staring at him as if she thought his posture was strange.

" Do you have uncles?"

She denied it.

" Nobody to stay with?"

The girl denied it again. Shiromiya took a deep breath and looked back at the dead. Then he extended his hand again to the little girl. He bowed to her, wanting them to stay at the same height.

" Listen, your parents won't wake up anymore. But they gave me you, "he said as if it were one of the stories Nana told him. " I am your father now " suddenly the sentence made his throat ache and a choked weeping take he.

The little girl looked at him as if she did not understand these words. When Shiro opened his mouth, trying to explain again, she interrupted him, saying:

" Mom won't wake up anymore?"

" No, my love..."

" Not even Dad?"

"I am your father now," he reaffirmed, trying to make her understand. "I'm not the best choice, but I'm the only one who you has" he joked.

However, the child did not seem to understand the game and started to cry. Shiromiya held her hands, respecting her pain. Then he felt her open her arms and squeeze him, resting her head on his shoulder.

In that instant, Shiromiya discovered that he was, in fact, her father. The love he felt was something very strong and instant, capable of giving him the strength to fight for them. Shiro would never allow anything to separate them.

With her on his lap, he closed the door to the house and returned to the terminal.

Nana was right, there was always hope, even when the pain was stronger than any words.

He had a new reason to live ... And for that reason, everything would be worth it.

***

Saito Jiro arrived at the terminal half an hour before the scheduled time. He looked around, terrified, looking for his friend. When he didn't see him, everything crossed his mind, since Shiro was discovered by Ryo, until he was lost in the destroyed city. However, shortly afterward, he sighed with relief when he saw him, in the distance, carrying a child in his lap.

A CHILD IN THE LAP?

Jiro ran up to him, his eyes questioning. Shiro just murmured, firmly:

"My daughter," he said.

Saito felt his legs falter, such a fright. However, then he realized the situation more clearly.

"Shiro, you can't," Saito said, trying to get him to reason.

" Why?"

" Shiro " took a deep breath, seeking calm. " You can't save all the kids."

"Not all," he agreed. " But this one I will save."

Jiro raised both hands to the sky.

" For the love of God!" He exclaimed. " Don't you see our situation? The country is at war, we will be lucky if we reach my home without being killed en route. A child..."

"I don't think you understand, Jiro-san," interrupted him. " I'm not asking for your authorization. I am nineteen years old and I have been a man for a long time. I am assuming this child, she is mine and I swear I will kill anyone who dares to say no " he threatened. " I won't go anywhere without my daughter. You bought me a ticket, didn't you? I will repay you. And you don't have to feel responsible for me or for her, because we don't even have to go the same way."

Saito realized that he was furious and decided to calm down. He looked more closely at the child who seemed to be sleeping, held in his friend's arms.

"It looks like you," he muttered.

Shiro was surprised and smiled at the other's resigned countenance.

" Where are we going?"

"To the worst place anyone would want to go at the moment," he said. " Okayama is where my family lives."

" But ... " Kazue looked impressed. " We will have to cross the entire country."

" Indeed. Do you now see the risk that we will face?"

Shiro squeezed the girl. It was impossible not to fear.

" My family has a small property. They will give us a roof until the end of the war. After that, let's see " he was optimistic. " I can speak several languages, I intend to get a good job."

Shiro nodded.

" Making plans?"

" Well, after all, I've been through, I deserve it, right? And you? What are your plans?"

"I'll take care of my daughter," he smiled. " She will study, she will believe strongly herself, she will have everything I never had."

" Hum " Saito nodded. " Okay, I understand that this little princess will be a queen " he joked. " But what about her father?"

His eyes were sad and the young man sighed.

" I will survive."

The enigmatic answer echoed in Jiro's ears.

***

Ryo Satoshi approached the table and watched the breakfast carefully. Not that anything was interesting on the table, other than the usual delicacies, but he was very thoughtful since last night.

Troubled.

Despite the laughter he pretended to give in the face of the funny stories that Miura shared, the truth is that his heart was in darkness. Young Hana was beautiful and even attractive, but he hadn't even been able to rest his eyes on her for a long time. Hana didn't attract him. Ryo was not comfortable with her voice, nor with her presence. However, she did have a uterus, and he reaffirmed the need for a belly for his Miya.

"Ryo-san? " Tadao appeared at your side. " Did anything displease you? " pointed to the full table.

Ryo denied it and said nothing.

" Shiro hasn't woken up yet?"

" No. Do you want me to wake him up?"

"No," he denied. " Him must still be sick. I will see him. If it hasn't improved, I'll call a doctor."

As he walked towards the bedroom, Ryo felt his heart racing. By heaven, he had spent a single night away from Shiromiya and was already in pieces. He needed to see him so badly that he almost started running.

However, a presence crossed over him, and Ryo stopped. He turned to the teenage figure and saw her laughing happily.

" Miya? " called her.

The girl gracefully adjusted the back of her ear, and then said happily:

" Dad arrived."

For a few seconds, the sentence made Ryo freeze. Then he took two steps towards her, completely furious.

" Dad? I'm your father! " shouted.

However, it was as if she didn't see him. She laughed again, and then turned away, running out.

Ryo followed closely behind, eager to see what that scene represented. Soon they were outside his mansion, down the stairs. In the distance, he visualized a vehicle that he did not remember seeing. Black, aristocrat, a new model, unlike anything that existed. Then he noticed Tadao with gray hair getting out of the car and heading for the back door. Ryo imagined he would see himself, as usual, but another man got out of the car.

Miya threw herself into his arms. Ryo slowed his pace, stunned by the scene.

" Did you bring me everything I asked for? " she asked, seeming to get something in his pockets.

" I wouldn't go to Tokyo and wouldn't bring anything, would you? " the voice he recognized immediately replied.

Shiro ...

Shiromiya ...

Shiro ... and Miya ...

He moved closer, absorbed by the scene. Kazue was older, maybe reaching forty, but he could not say his age accurately, after all, he still looked the same, maybe a few lines below his eyes, but the same appearance that won him over at Ai. And his smile was so happy!

He realized that the young woman found what she had been looking for in his pockets. It looked like a clip, but it had those damn American letters with the name of that guy Elvis that his daughter seemed to idolize.

" I love you, I love you, I love you! " She screamed endlessly while kissing Shiro's cheek.

Then she went to Tadao and hugged him. The servant and the daughter left arm in arm towards the house, while Ryo followed them with the look.

" Did you miss me?"

He came back into view and realized that Shiro was talking to him. However, Ryo couldn't answer.

Realizing his numb state, the other approached, fixing the collar of his shirt. Shiro then kissed him passionately on the lips, in front of everyone. Even astonished, Ryo found himself responding.

"I missed you," he replied at last, as soon as their mouths came off.

And really did. A single night away from him seemed to destroy his life. It was then that he realized that the warmth in the heart that he was looking for in Miya, was also found in Shiro. Sticking his forehead to the other's, he took a deep breath, surrendering to the certainty that he had found his family.

By the heavens! It was so in the face, how had he not noticed it before?

He couldn't marry Ota's daughter, because he didn't love her. And it wasn't just that, she wasn't his destiny, the person that Kami-sama had chosen for him. It was Shiro who was delivered into his arms, and he almost cried when he noticed that until then he had done nothing to reward the other for his devotion. On the contrary, everything he had said about him ... Would there be forgiveness?

" You will have all night to flirt " Ryo heard the feminine scream and looked away from Shiro, turning to the girl. " Now, I want to see all my gifts! " demanded.

Shiro laughed softly.

"I swear when she screams like that, I see Sakamoto," he said.

Ryo wanted to reply and say that his little beloved girl had nothing to do with that asshole when his mouth opened without control.

" Damn you! He made she a copy of himself."

Shiro threw his head back and laughed. Then he dodged it and went to the stairs. With his heart at peace, Ryo saw him hugging his daughter and they both laughed at something he said.

" I love you? "

The question that was asked was answered by the memories themselves. Shiro by his side while he said he was a lonely child, Shiro caressing his face when he heard him say he dreamed of being an artist. Shiro forgiving him more than once for his wickedness. Shiro under his body, giving himself to him in a unique way.

" And I love you, " Ryo said, smiling, completely aware of his feelings then. "I love you," he repeated so that there was no doubt.

However, suddenly, the image on the stairs faded. And it was not like the other times when they disappeared suddenly. That time, it was an almost desperate act. Gradually, as if a rubber was in them, the pieces were destroyed. And when it was all gone, Ryo's heart ached in panic.

"Okay," he said to himself, trying to calm himself. " Let's fix things."

He ran into the house, shouting for Tadao. The servant appeared before his eyes, frightened,

" What's up, Ryo-san?"

" Send a missive to Ota, now! " Said, already turning the body towards Shiro's room.

" But ..."

"I'm going to give up the wedding," he explained.

The servant smiled, nodding.

So Ryo no longer stopped his legs from running. He entered Shiro's room and, finding it empty, went to the bathroom.

" Kazue?" He called, opening the toilet door.

Anything. Just emptiness.

He turned his body towards the exit, ready to go in search of the man he loved when his gaze found the money on the bed.

Shiro couldn't write, so he hadn't left a note. But when he realized the golden glow of the cord that had given him years before, he knew that the other had given up on him.

He had lost your love.

Falling on his knees in front of the bed, he realized that Kami-sama had given him a gift, a promise. Anxious to see his future come true, he did not respect the time of God, and now he was punished here.

He bent until his face touched the floor. When the tears came, he felt dead.

That morning, Satoshi Ryo had the last vision of his life.

***

The swing of the bus woke the girl. She was in the lap of the man who had fed her in the morning. The man slept, so she studied his face, smiling. He was young and handsome. Sweet and gentle too. He had said was her father.

She snuggled into his chest, feeling protected.

But then, the sound of a clearing made her turn her attention to a man beside her.

"Hello," a handsome man whispered. "I'm Uncle Jiro," he introduced himself.

She stared at her father, unsure whether or not to talk to the stranger. After all, her new parent had not liked to see her with the other stranger in the morning.

"Let Shiromiya sleep," he advised. " He must not have slept all night."

" Shiromiya? "

Your father was called Shiromiya? She laughed, showing children's teeth.

" Yes, and you? What is your name?"

There was a brief silence. Somewhere, fate smiled at the answer.

" I'm Miya."