Finding a Phantom

"Mine," Xan said repeating the word written on the wall. "Yes, this was written whenever a girl went missing," the inn owner said. "He's kidnapping the girls, even the ugly ones?" Xan asked. The inn owner was incensed immediately. "Who said my little Cholo is ugly? She might be a little plump but she has such a pretty face and such a sweet countenance. Any man would be lucky to have her as a wife! Her teeth are pearly white and glisten like fresh milk. She has the voice of a bird, and when she sings people from miles around weep because of the deep emotion it causes them," he said.

"You mean, she's fat like you, pretty in the face is nice white teeth probably with wide gaps between them, an overbite, and a few crooked ones to boot, she probably has a husky voice and sounds like a vulture when she sings. I'm sure the deep emotion she causes in people is the heartbreaking sadness they feel at the loss of healthy hearing" Xan said without thinking. The man was even angrier now. "You may be a great warrior, but you can't just insult my beautiful little Cholo like that!" he said. "The point is, he takes all the girls not just particular kinds of girls?" Xan asked. "Yes," the owner said curtly.

"How long has this been going on?" Xan asked. "We noticed the girls missing from here about a month ago. He took all of our precious young daughters," the man said sadly. "When did girls start going missing in the other villages," Xan asked. "The earliest we know of is about six months ago," he said. "How many girls are missing in total," Xan asked. "More than four hundred young maidens," the owner said. "Any widows or divorced women? Any older single women or just the young ones," Xan asked.

The owner was stunned for a moment, "I don't know, now that I think about it we are also missing some of our widows and divorced women, even some of our old maids are missing, but no one over forty," he said. "Any of these other women have kids?" he asked. "Some," the owner responded. "Strange, is he starting some kind of harem," Xan asked. "It would make sense, some of the most beautiful girls in the world live in these parts. My little Cholo was such a beauty, what man could resist her? I have long been surprised how she has managed to stay single for all this time. It must be because she has never found a man worthy of her. I suppose this Phantom could be said to have some taste," the owner opined.

"Ok, I get it, what have you done to find the missing girls?" he asked. "We have looked for them, we even hired some trackers to try and find the girls but no luck," the owner said. "Take me to the other spots the girls disappeared from," Xan commanded. "Are you intent on helping us find our women?" The owner asked. "Yes, I'm interested in this Phantom," he said. "You are impressed by his abilities to abduct so many beauties and disappear with them?" the owner asked. "I'm curious what kind of man shows no taste or particularity when it comes to forming a harem. He's probably a virgin and got overly excited," Xan said. "Probably," the owner said. "Wait, I mean, no, this man has great tastes, great tastes! My little Cholo would never be kidnapped by some silly unparticular virgin!" he claimed.

Xan rolled his eyes, "Just take me to where the other girls were taken from." The owner nodded his head and lead him to several different places. Many girls went missing from their homes while some were from odd places like outhouses and the tavern. Xan was particularly impressed by the kidnappings from the outhouses as there was very little room to maneuver a sword to make his mark.

"If I knew I would come upon a mystery like this I would have adopted my Mahogany Holmes persona instead of the brutish Elam persona," Xan thought to himself.

The inn owner took Xan all over town to look at the various locations where the girls went missing. He carefully examined each scene as well as the sign the Phantom carved into each location. There was something bothering Xan all of this but he couldn't figure out what it was. "I'll need to examine the sites of the missing girls at the other towns. "How many towns are missing women?" has asked the inn owner. "Twelve towns have reported missing women," he said.

"I need a map marking the locations of the towns. If someone could accompany me to the towns things might go faster," Xan said. "I know a man who might be willing to go. He's a retired military man. He once worked in the capital as a healer for the king. He's just an old fart now but he has lots of free time," the owner said. A sour taste worked its way into Xan's mouth. He felt like the owner was just passing on some troublesome burden and didn't really care if his beautiful little Cholo returned. Perhaps he believed this would be her only chance at happiness.

The inn owner guided Xan to the living quarters of the healer Yahn son of What. The healer looked to be in his sixties and was very excited about the idea of looking for the missing girls. It turned out he was very bored and had even more free time than the owner of the inn initially thought. It turned out the Inn owner was also right because Xan soon realized the Healer Yahn was an old fart. He also seemed confused most of the time, and extremely impressed by everything Xan said. It became annoying after a while.

The Inn owner arranged for a horse and carriage for Xan and Yahn the healer. There was more than enough room to strap his wheelbarrow wagon to the back of the carriage. During the trip between towns, Xan would do his regular exercises and run through the forest keeping pace with the horse and carriage. He would find game in the forest and hunt spirit beasts.

At night they would make camp and he would cook the food he caught. Yahn the healer was always full of praise for his expert hunting and exquisite cooking ability. Although, one time the healer accidentally started eating some grass covered in manure and praised it as being such an exotic flavor and complimented Xan repeatedly for having made it. Xan never thought much of the healer's praises regarding his food after that. The entire trip to the towns was a very humbling experience for Xan.

Along the way, Xan was able to talk with the carriage driver who revealed some things about the Healer Yahn. It turned out, the Healer Yahn wasn't only a great healer in the military, but after his retirement from the army, he was recruited into the royal palace and became the chief physician of the royal family. He served three generations of kings with great distinction, at least for the first two kings.

Unfortunately, age caught up with the Healer Yahn under the third king he served. The king was very depressed by his balding head. Even with all of the great spirit medicines in the world, balding was still a problem for many men in the world, even great kings and emperors. In fact, there were none more bothered by balding than kings and emperors who always felt like balding was a sign of old age and weakness. There were numerous examples of sons dethroning their fathers by claiming nothing more than their father's bald head made him unfit to rule the country as people might make bald jokes about him. This would denigrate the majesty of their great kingdom if these old baldies weren't removed. The old baldy kings and emperors desperately looked for solutions but most of them ended up wearing wigs.

The Healer Yahn, however, revealed a groundbreaking new procedure that was cutting edge in the healing sciences. He claimed it was years ahead of all of the other kingdoms. The King was very excited about the procedure and consented to undergo the procedure. The Healer Yahn made all of the preparations and the night before the procedure a great feast was held in the honor of the Healer Yahn.

The next day, things seemed to go well. The King came out of the procedure with his head wrapped in bandages. Oddly, his waist was also wrapped in bandages. A month after the surgery, everyone was greeted by a King with a renewed sense of vigor and youth. Upon his head was the most luscious black hair anyone had ever seen. The hair was thicker and softer than the hair he had in his youth. The queen couldn't help herself as she relentlessly ran her fingers through his hair. There were many happy times for the King after the procedure. He was so excited about his new hair that he held a banquet in honor of the Healer Yahn it was scheduled to begin in two weeks and would last an entire month.

Other Kings from neighboring kingdoms were invited to the feast. Feeling a sense of hope for their own balding conditions, they energetically came to the festivities. The atmosphere was happy and electric. The Healer Yahn's name spread throughout the continent. Praise for his genius and innovation were sung at great lengths. Bards were taught special songs about the heroic and dashing King of healers, the Healer Yahn son of What.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. It was during the third week of the Hair Festival, as it became known, the King noticed something alarming. All of his luscious new hair began to fall out. At first, it was hardly noticeable but soon, the king was forced to wear hats to hide his balding head. The other kings thought it was a little odd at first, but they soon realized something was going on.

Their suspicions were heightened to unimaginable levels when they noticed the king started wearing a skirt with a long train almost like a woman everywhere he went. His pants even seemed to bulge a little. Unable to contain their mounting curiosity, the great kings conspired together and hired the greatest Assassin in the Seven Lands, the Assassin King Hassan Calippus to publically expose what was really going on with the King.

It was during one of the final days of the feast when Hassan snuck up on the King and uncovered his head and removed the wig. Everyone was shocked by the sight of the completely bald King. Not only did he lose the new hair, but he even lost all of his original hair! While everyone stopped in shock at this sight, Hassan grabbed the King's skirt and tore it off when at the same time spinning him around. What greeted everyone was and extremely hairy heinie. The heinie was so hairy, in fact, that the hair reached down to the ground and continued away from his body for another five feet.

The King was completely mortified. The guest kings, on the other hand, were at first shocked, and then grateful they didn't have the procedure done, and finally couldn't contain their laughter. They laughed so hard that it became infectious. Everyone started laughing at the king, not just foreigners but even the lowliest servants in the palace. The Queen's face was observed to be extremely red as she attempted to contain her own laughter. Eventually, she failed at containing her laugher becoming one of the loudest laughers at the festival. This sent the King's humiliation over the moon.

A nickname was immediately coined for the king. He was called, "King Hairy Heinie." It didn't help the King's real name was Harry as this quickly inspired the new nickname. The King was so sad and hurt that he locked himself in his room for three years refusing to come out. After three years of seclusion, the king finally managed to get this hairy heinie under control. The hair on his royal heinie just wouldn't stop growing.

With some of his confidence restored he went to a large gathering of the other kings. As soon as they saw the king, they immediately started calling him "His royal majesty King Hairy Heinie," and asked him if he needed a brush for his heinie and whether he had servants skilled enough in hairy heinie maintenance or if he would like to borrow a few of their experts. The King was so depressed he once more hid in his room and pouted for five more years refusing to come out and see anyone.

Finally, as an act of pure retribution against his servants and other nobles, the King had the Healer Yahn perform the same procedure on all of them. Not even the Queen was spared. For a number of years, after much propaganda and lots of threats, the King was able to convince quite a few people in his kingdom that a hairy heinie was the noblest heinie a man or woman could have.

Every year, the King began to hold great contests on who had the hairiest and most beautiful heinies. Many great burly men competed every year. Previously, women would reject their advances after seeing their hairy heinies. These men could never get any love. However, now with the hairy heinie contests and the rewards from the King for having the hairiest and most well-maintained heinies, women began to throw themselves at this overly burly men. There were even a few women who won the hairy heinie contests.

Poor Yahn the healer was exiled from the capital and forced to live an ignoble life. This did not, however, dissuade him from the belief that his procedure was revolutionary. He believed his procedure of first making a heinie extremely hairy and then transplanting said hair from said heinie to the unsaid head was pure genius and ahead of its time. He felt he and only needed a little more experimentation to get it right. After all, it worked for a couple of months didn't it?

Yahn the healer was chased from one city to another, and then from one village to another, and finally from one town to another until he finally found himself in Mikasa Sukasa Town. He was allowed to live there on the condition he gave up his life as a physician and agreed to no longer try to cure people of baldness.

Xan carefully considered the story the carriage driver told him. After thinking for a while he gave the man a gold coming for sharing such important and life-changing information. Then he said, "You see this bag of gold coins? If you can get me back to Mikasa Sukasa without a hairy heinie, this bag of gold will be yours.

From that point on, the carriage driver guarded Xan's heinie as if his life depended on it. At times, he even considered murdering the Healer Yahn to ensure his future fortune. Men had killed for less. However, the carriage driver was a good man and refused to murder, which was good news for Yahn the Healer, but others might have regarded him as a hero if he carried through with the thought.

As they traveled from town to town, Xan found that everything was the same regarding the kidnapped girls. The Phantom Marks, the locations of the girls being abducted, and so forth. It wasn't until they arrived at the forth town chronologically from when the Phantom began taking women that he discovered his first anomaly. In this town, the Phantom didn't take any widows, divorcees, or older single women. He only took the young girls.

In the third town chronologically, they discovered it was the first town the Phantom didn't distinguish between pretty and ugly girls. In the second town, they discovered it was actually the first town the Phantom left his mark. In the original town where the girls first disappeared, there weren't any Phantom Marks. Everything was different, it was as if it wasn't the Phantom who kidnapped the girls but someone else.

Xan shared his thoughts with the Healer Yahn who was very impressed and supportive in whatever Xan wanted to do next. "What shall we do?" Yahn asked. "We try to uncover who the original kidnappers are and then we'll be able to find our Phantom!" Xan said with confidence. "Amazing, Elam! It is simply amazing how your mind works. An unparalleled genius for sure," the Healer Yahn said. "I have an idea that may lead to discovering the identity of our attackers, but I'm going to need your help to pull it off," Xan said. "Count me in, young man, I may be a healer but I was a soldier first!" He exclaimed with great gusto. "Very well, tonight we'll make our move.