I Gave It All Away.

There once was a young girl. A girl who longed for something more. Something that could make her feel happy and whole. She wanted someone to love her. Not the family love or the friendly love. Not the "love this" moments because it makes you temporarily happy. No. I mean the kind of love that will forever make you happy. For all of eternity. The love that makes priorities over what you thought was important, but now they are all you need to survive. If you live without them not knowing them yet, you feel half of yourself, but when without them when you know they're the one, you feel completely empty and alone even if not alone. If it's because of a stupid mistake you made, well, you might as well be drowing in your own blood pumped from the heart that once beat for him and the tears you cry as you desperately reach for his touch. Even for just a single moment. When they leave, your world falls apart because they were your world. Everything goes wrong now because when you were with them, it didn't matter what happened to you because you knew they'd be there waiting for you in the end to comfort you in your pain. To hug and kiss you when you need a boost of life and happiness. True happiness. With every love language involved. But now, they're gone. Gone away and will probably never look back. I'm scared it was a lie, but another part of me knows he wouldn't lie. That he's honest and kind. I guess I'm making up excuses to understand why he put a wall between us. Sure, a small part of me wants to hope that it's just how he deals with pain, but another part of me doesn't want to get my hopes up. Now I realize that he was going through something else along with that. I guess he just didn't want to feel much more pain.