I am fine

I was in my room brushing my hair as I looked at the mirror. My blue eyes that were once full of light and emotions seemed completely blank. I had faint eye bags which I covered with make-up and my skin was a bit pale. I don't know why I am feeling like this now, but I guess it is from the aftershock.

Today was a Saturday. It has been 5 days since the incident. My manager gave me a 2 weeks off to rest up because he says it must have been a traumaticing experience for me. 4 days ago the old man, Mr Richard, for some reason confessed. Now both Vicky and him are in jail. The media , not wasting any time, posted an article with me included. They exaggerated many things and made it sound like I was violated

before I was saved.

It is everywhere and people are always giving me pity and acting as if I am broken because of the experience. I wasn't even touched. The article just exaggerated things...

I shook the negative feeling that was about to surface. A memory 4 year's ago when I was pregnant resurfaced my mind. I touched my face and said slowly in front of the mirror, "Nothing happened to me. He wasn't even in his room at the time. Miguel saved me," I whispered. At the thought of Miguel I was filled with mixed emotions. I badly wanted to go see him again, but yet again I didn't want too. I feel so pathetic that I got myself into an unrequited love, that's why it hurt me so much that he left without a word. Miguel probably is seeing this as a friendship view while I...

"Mummy? Is everything okay?" asked Mia. I quickly collected myself and turned around to Mia who entered the room. I faked a bright smile.

"Of course, sweetie. Weren't you sleeping? Also why wouldn't I be fine?" I asked and picked her up. Mia wrapped her arms around me. She kissed both my cheeks.

"Mommy, Mia is a bit worried."

I blinked and raised a brow. "Why would you be worried. Oh, is it about what happened?" I asked. Mia nodded in response.

I chuckled, "Oh Mia, mummy is fine. It is true that something bad would have happened to me but it didn't. I'm okay."

Mia smiled and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Mia loves mummy," she mumbled. I carresed her hair.

"And mummy loves Mia," I whispered and kissed her cheek. I layed Mia gently on my bed. It was 12 a.m and Mia was already very tired. She usually would be hyper around this time, especially because it was Saturday where we go on outings.

'She probably is tired because of worrying about me. She is too smart for her age,' I thought and then sighed.

I stared at my phone that was on my dressing table. Cheff Ronald gave me a number to a physiologist. He said it was about time I go to one. When he found out about my past he recommended one, but I declined and he tried to persuade me once again.

I hated talking about my problems. I always thought how can someone understand me, if they never went through what I went through. Add to the fact, they are getting paid so how will I know they are doing this to actually help me. I am no longer that sensitive Sasha. I am a strong and independent woman. If I am not feeling fine, which I am not, I can overcome it on my own. I have been doing this for 4 year's already.

I nodded triumphly at myself. Soon after the doorbell ring. When I opened the door, I was greeted by the sight of Alex.

"Hey! Come in," I said and usherd him inside. I made myself extra cheerful.

"You're in a good mood today," smiled Alex.

I shook my head and slipped the truth, "No, not really," Alex turned his head at me, "I mean, I am happy but not--I am in a good mood, yes."

"Ok?" Alex answered unsure. He sat down and I made us both tea.

"I'm sorry for being too busy to see you and Mia. You know, cases has been piling up," he explained.

I smiled. "You don't have to come by all the time. Mia and I are fine. You should focus on your job. Though you shouldn't be a work alcoholic, how would you meet a girl then," I joked. Alex didn't smile or laugh. He sipped his tea in silence.

"I'm not going to date anyone. It will be unfair to the girl," he replied solemnly. I got confused by his answer.

"What do you-" I started but was cut off when he placed the tea on the table loudly. "Anyway forget about that. Let's talk about what happened."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Seriously? Can we talk about something else? This happened-"

"Only 5 days ago. It wasn't long ago. I...have been thinking that maybe you should go see a physiologist," I widened my eyes, "Just to talk to them what happened," he quickly said.

'Not him too. First Chef Ronald, then Layla who found out from the internet and now him. Who's next? Mia?'

I shook my head. "Absolutely not!" I stopped to steady my voice, "There is no need for me to see anyone. Nothing happened. I'm fine."

Alex's hair covered his eyes. There was an uncomfortable silence. "No, you're not."

"I am really-"

"So a person who is fine would stay in front of the mirror with a blank expression? A person who is fine, you avoid people when you go out and shut your phone, TV and basically the internet? A person who is fine who loves food would start eating so little all of a sudden? You started doing this right after the incident."

"How...do you know?" I asked, my voice soft. Alex frowned.

"Mia told me. It seems you sometimes forget how observant she is. I didn't have time to check on you but I do now. You should have someone who you can freely talk too."

"Why would I talk to a stranger of all people?!"

"A stranger is a person you don't know and they don't know you too. Secrets are best kept on strangers than on people who know you. I am not a stranger, yet you are reluctant to confide in me, right? A physiologist studies the right things to tell you and will give you one of the best advices. They are there to help people."

I kept my mouth shut by his words. I clenched my fists. 'Why are people making this a big deal? Nothing even happened to me? I am really...fine'

Alex stood up and sat next to me.

"Ok, listen. If you are really fine like you say you are, then it won't be a problem for you to go visit a physiologist. He/she will see you are fine and won't recommended for you to have further session after 1 or 2."

"But-"

"You are fine, are you not?" he asked and stared at me with intensity. I gulped and looked down on my lap. I meekly nodded.

'I am fine. Going to this session will prove that...'

"Ok," I said and gave in. Alex smiled and wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer.

"Good. That's the spirit. Now let's go out. What is Mia doing?" he asked and looked around the living room.

"She is sleeping."

"Really? At this time? Is she sick?" he asked.

"No, not at all. She is just tired. Though, she has been sleeping a lot lately but kids her age, special or not, need to sleep a lot," I answered.

"Ok. Well then, let's watch a movie on Netflix," Alex suggested.

I nodded. I didn't notice that Alex still had his arm wrapped around my shoulder.

×××

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From Crimson 7