My physiologist

"So this is the place, huh," I mumbled to myself and looked up at the tall building. It was rectangular in shape with windows of glass. It looked quite bland and boring which soured my mood.

'I can't believe I actually went along with this.' I thought.

I entered the building and took in my surroundings. The air was like being in the hospital. The walls were plain white and pitch with no creativity. In each door there were tall green flowers and a mat that said 'welcome'. I stopped in front of a particular door. I looked at the paper in my hand that said number 05 and looked at the door that said the exact number.

I controlled my breathing and knocked the door twice. "Come in," said a sweet voice. I walked inside and unexpectedly the room was the complete opposite of the building. There was a splash of artwork on the walls accompanied with a zebra wallpaper. The room smelled of air freshener. There were roses and sunflowers at the corner and the sun shined brightly in the room.

"Welcome Sasha Amelia. I have been waiting for you. Please have a seat," the woman said. She flashed me a milky smile. She had clear olive skin and hazel eyes that looked green once the sun touched it. She was petite and her chocolate, brown hair fell on the mid-leghth of her back. She wore a pitch dress with black heels. I noticed that when she smiled, she had dimples. She was quite welcoming. On her table I noticed a picture of her in a wedding dress next to a man in black tuxedo. I gazed at the wedding ring on her finger. I caught myself before she noticed me staring at it.

"My, my, I have quite a beautiful person. My name is Sarah Florence. It's a pleasure to meet a person with the same S on the start of our names," she chirped and shook my hand. I gladly took it. She was more of a public spoke person person or nurse to me than a physiologist. I always thought there were people with neutral expression who were quite stiff and tense, calm too.

"So let's get straight to the point," she smiled.

'Oh, wow. She doesn't beat around the bush.'

She took out her pen and book. She met my eyes and smiled once again. "I know how hard it is to open up to a complete stranger but let's try, okay. I'll ask you some small personal questions which I bet some people like asking you," she said and led me to the couch on the side. The aura around her was calming and I felt almost relaxed... almost. I mean, I don't want to tell anything personal to this woman, but I did tell the others I would do this so I have to suck it up.

"First things first, Sasha what brings you here," she started. I crossed my legs and looked at the window. When I did that she wrote something on her book.

I cleared my throat. "Well some people were saying that this would help me. That I needed to open up with my feelings. You probably know about what happened to me. I am quite... known."

Sarah nodded. "Yes, indeed you are. How does that make you feel."

"What do you mean exactly?" I asked.

"I mean, how does being in the limelight make you feel. I know about your history, I can practically Google search you. I know what people think and say about you. I bet that people now are acting like hypocrites, looking at you with pity and being kind towards you when just a few days ago they were insulting you."

I slowly nodded. 'Well she is quite good.' I thought.

"I am actually used to it. You see before, when I was 'rich', I was in the limelight a lot too. The media was part of my life in daily basis so I can handle it. And about people being all hypocrites it does irritates me, but I came to the conclusion that I should just ignore them and care about myself and the people who loves me and whom I love."

Sarah smiled. "Well that's a positive attitude. I can tell you are independent person since you have been taking care of your child by yourself, right?"

"Yes, I am."

"Were you always like this or did you become like this once you became a mother?" she asked.

"Once I became a mother, obviously. I couldn't be my old playful and wild self anymore. Especially when I am alone in this."

Sarah hit me with a question that made my heart burn with fury. "Do you wish that the father of your child was with you in this journey?"

I clenched my fists so hard, I could feel my nails tear into my palm. "Definitely not!" I controlled my voice, "I am glad that I did this without him. He is a two faced jerk and I wish deep in my heart that he wasn't Mia's father."

Sarah raised a brow. "There is no info about the father of your child but I guess he was not a good guy to you. Are comfortable to talk about him?"

I shook my head and looked down at my hands. She nodded and wrote something on her book.

'Damm! I shouldn't have responded like that.' I always hated that at the mention of that bastard, I get all riled up.

"How did being a young mother make you feel, especially the hardships that you had to do all alone? Did you ever feel depressed and cornerd to the point of doing something stupid to help you and Mia, when you were facing hard challenges?"

I frowned.

'Damm, she is hitting the nail hard. She is already asking so many questions but I know she is trying to help me, but I really don't need it.'

As if she was reading my mind she responded, " You probably think like this is a waste of time when you are completely fine, huh?"

"I, uh..." It was the first time in a long while I am left tounge tied.

"Don't worry. You'll soon see how this session will benefit you. FWI it is not considered weak for showing how you really feel." she said and patted my knee.

I looked through my mind to think of what to say back.

"You know what, let's cut this session short. I think I asked you enough personal questions. Let's get to know each other in a friendly manner than a boring teacher and patient relationship. Do you want to grab a bite to eat?" she asked.

I smiled and nodded. I was so glad that it was over quickly. She wasn't that bad after all, butt I would need to keep my guard up around her. She was a person that made me feel like I actually want to share all my deepest secrets and open up to her. I shivered at the thought. I did not want to let that happen.

It won't, right?