Don't hide your pain, at least not to me

How do you feel?" I asked Mia.

Today was the day I'd find out what Mia's results were. I'd find out if her illness is serious.

I was frightened by the prospect of Mia remaining in the hospital on IVs and injections. I felt worried that none of the treatments would work. When I was younger, I watched a couple of movies involving children with cancer. They all had one thing in common: death.

The kids would finish their bucket lists and write letters to the individuals they loved. These young toddlers had no choice: but to smile to give their loved ones strength. They understand that if they cried, this would break their hearts. I wondered if Mia is doing the same.

I examined Mia's face. I was curious if she wept. Mia, to be honest, rarely cries. When she does, it's usually to urge me to get her something, which is rare. I'd always wanted to ask her what was going on through her brilliant mind.

"Why do you ask, Mommy?" was her only response.

With her large blue eyes, she glanced at me. She remained silent for far longer than necessary. She quickly cracked a smile.

"Mia is in good spirits. Don't be too concerned, Mommy, "she replied, patting my hand.

I burst out laughing. I was meant to be the one to console Mia, not the other way around.

"Excuse me, ma'am, the doctor would like to speak with you." A nurse said once she walked in.

I turned back to Mia and gave her a comforting smile. I kissed her on the cheek before following the nurse.

***

"Would you mind repeating what you said, doctor?" I asked.

He smiled slightly. Your child is currently suffering from slow-growing leukemia. We won't be conducting chemotherapy or anything like that. "

I breathed a sigh of relief.

He went on, "But we'd have to keep an eye on her. It doesn't change the reality that it has the potential to become hostile.

I murmured, "Monitoring." I took a glance at the doctor. "Does she have to stay in the hospital for a longer period?"

He shook his head. "No. She is free to return home. She must, however, come in for a check-up every two days for treatment and such."

I gave a feeble nod. At the very least, I was able to take Mia home with me.

The thing I disliked about hospitals is that they make you feel sick.

The environment felt somber and had no warmth. I'm glad I could bring Mia out from this place.

"Thank you, doctor," I said and shook his hands.

Mia will be released from the hospital the following week. I told her the good news and could see her eyes brighten up.

***

I walked out of the hospital, practically beaming. Mia will have a long trip ahead of her, but I'm confident she'll be fine. I can't think otherwise. My thoughts began to go back to what someone had told me. My heart became heavy, and my delight faded. I brushed the feeling off and started walking.

To my surprise, I found Miguel waiting for me beside his car. When our gazes met, he smiled, and I did as well.

I instantly approached him and informed him of the good news. He smiled and reached out to pat my head, then suddenly withdrew his hand. That was something he used to do to me.

Normally, I would have felt awkward and stiff, but I didn't. I pushed Miguel towards his car.

"You're going to drive me home."

It's time I treat Miguel like I used to. Forget the past. Forget the love. Forget what she told me.

***

Thank you again for helping me, "I said during the ride.

Miguel glanced at me from the corner of his eye. "No problem. Consider me as your fairy godmother. "

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "That's right." I mocked. "Would you wear a gown and wield a wand?"

"Of course not," he answered.

I cracked up laughing.

Miguel began softly tapping his finger on the steering wheel. " You're laughing too much," he said.

"What?"

"You can't be this delighted just because Mia was released. You're trying to stay overly positive, aren't you? "

I opened and then closed my mouth.

"Did the doctor say anything else?" he questioned.

I remained silent. Miguel stopped the car and turned to me.

Miguel always made me feel this way. As if I were an open book.

I was never fond of expressing my emotions. I've always had to be strong to prove to people that I'm not weak simply because of my circumstances or because of Mia.

Miguel's silver eyes felt like they were seeing right through me. I looked down since I couldn't meet his gaze.

"You can tell me," he said, gently.

I remembered Mia's advice that I should not worry and to smile.

I started talking before I could stop myself.

"Mia's doctor informed me that she... could have severe le-leukemia. He assured me that it was only a possibility, but I couldn't st-stop thinking about the children who had died as a result of it." My voice began to crack.

"I was searching for...for children who got cured of it, an-and couldn't help but see those who died! I couldn't stop myself from those thoughts at that moment."

Miguel took my hand. "What else is bothering you?"

Tears began falling down my cheeks. It was the third time I cried in front of him. Firstly when I was pregnant and hurt. The second was when I found out about the illness. This is the third time, and I hope the last.

"A nurse told me... something. She told me after I visited the doctor and received the news. She was worried for Mia."

"What did she tell you?" he asked.

"In the middle of the night, she was... sobbing. My Mia, you see, does not cry. She begs for something. She tries to make me not punish her by crying. But she never cries by herself! She was putting on a brave face, Miguel, "I sobbed.

Miguel cradled me in his arms as I cried. My heart was in pain. It was as if someone was squeezing my heart. All I wanted was for my agony and Mia's pain to go away.

Being in Miguel's embrace made the ache go away. It made me forget, if only for a moment.