These feelings

I can't believe I did that!" I groaned. I sighed in humiliation and covered my face with my hands. Blood was rushing into my cheeks, and not even the wind could chill it down. The memories of crying in Miguel's arms flashed back to me. Miguel was always able to see me at my worst. Normally, crying in front of someone would upset me, but I never minded crying in front of him. I never felt weak.

I had forgotten about the terrible sensation growing up in my chest. It was like a pot about to boil. The bubble was getting hotter and hotter. It was like it was about to explode.

These are the sensations that are building up in my chest. I tightened my fists against the fabric on my chest. I'm a moron if I believe being friends with Miguel is a good idea. You can't simply be pals. A friend doesn't make you feel this way.

Friendship does not make you experience a strong personal attraction to another individual and a sense of longing.

What should I do about these feelings that are ready to resurface? I couldn't act on them in the past, let alone now. Who knows what will happen if I act on my emotions? Is Miguel going to say yes or no? How long will our relationship survive if he says yes?

I remembered Leo and instantly deleted the memory from my mind.

"Sasha!"

I flinched and drew away from my thoughts. I turned to look Alex in the eyes.

"Excuse me, what were you saying?" I inquired. Alex smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I'm offering to give you a ride to work. You're going to start today, right?"

I nodded. "Good," Alex said as he twirled his keys around his finger absentmindedly. "What were you thinking about so intently?" he asked, looking me in the eyes.

I averted my look. "Nothing."

Alex walked to his car after half-heartedly repeating my word. I discreetly followed suit.

Alex's behavior perplexed me. He seemed to have built a barrier between us. I couldn't figure out why.

***

The car ride was deafeningly quiet. Alex dropped me off, mumbled a goodbye, and then drove away. I watched his car drive out into the horizon until it was no longer visible.

I turned to face the hotel. Today was going to be a long day.

***

"I can't believe this. Poor, Mia," chef Ronald said. He gave me a fatherly pat on the back of my hand. "You are aware that I will always be ready to help you. Is it possible for me to assist you with your bills?"

My head shook. "No, it's all taken care of by a friend," I answered. Chef Ronald gave a questioning look but didn't pry further.

"Have you seen your physiologist?"

My head shook. I didn't have time to see her because my attention was primarily on Mia rather than my mental health.

"I'll see her when I have a chance," I said. I'm not yet ready to confront my sentiments about Mia, Miguel, and my life.

***

"See you tomorrow, bye," I thanked my coworkers. I texted Alex to see if he could give me a ride home, but he was unavailable. He was most likely preoccupied with work.

I rubbed my arms and adjusted the buttons on my jacket. It was a frigid night, and the moon stood out against the pitch-black sky.

When I took a step forward, I heard the sound of wheels. Miguel emerged from his automobile when the door opened.

"Mi-Miguel? What are you doing here?" With surprise, I inquired. Miguel walked towards me and stopped a foot away.

He gave me a friendly smile. His face was not making it easy. The moon mirrored his silver eyes as if they, themselves, were the moon. His hair blended in with the sky, and his smile had the power to crush hearts. Ideally, my heart.

I hoped the darkness wouldn't draw attention to the color of my cheeks.

It makes it worse since I was just thinking about him this morning.

I was waiting for Miguel to speak, but he just silently stared.

I took a step back after swallowing the lump in my throat. "So, what brings you here? Are you going to give me a ride?"

"I needed to confirm something, but yes, I'll give you a ride," he said.

"Confirm what?" I asked. Miguel took a step forward, reached out his hands, and placed them softly on the side of my cheek. He caressed it with his thumb, causing me to feel things that I'm not meant to feel for a friend.

His fingers ran down my cheek and brushed across my lips. He suddenly dropped his hand to his side and took a step back. An expression of sorrow, frustration, and longing flashed across his face.

He gave a wry smile and walked to his car motioning me to follow.

What on earth was that?! My heart was racing at an alarming rate. I could tell my face was on fire.

The feelings I tried to stop, came back tenfolds. Miguel had never done anything like this before. What has changed?

***

Alex was on his way to pick up Sasha when he witnessed something that crushed him. He had arrived too late.