Defense Against Cuteness is Futile

"It's sooo small..." Yang commented.

"I know, right? It's so small!" Ruby replied back as she stared.

"Yeeeees. Smol cute boi. Tis called an Eevee. I think. It says that." I held the most dangerously cute creature in the entire multiverse in my arms and it was currently sleeping peacefully.

I put my best determined face on. "I've only had this thing for a few seconds. But if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself." I stated, stone-faced at the statement.

"What." Yang asked incredulously.

"What." I asked back. Yang gave me a skeptical look then later shrugged and eyed the sleeping Eevee. She scratched her hair.

"I still can't believe this thing incased me in solid ice... I guess it was WEISS-cold, wasn't it? Ehheyyyy~" Yang joked. The rest of Team RWBY groaned as I gave a deadpan.

"Veee..." Eevee purred. Yang, being the closest actually choked on her breath and cleared her throat. She blushed as she coughed herself.

"Okay, that's undeniably adorable and cute at the same time. I almost feel bad punching it." Yang confessed as she crossed her arms. I raised an eyebrow.

"Almost?" I asked suspiciously.

"Well, it ruined my hair! It's my pride and joy, and it's ruined... And I have a cold because of it..." She pouted as she rustled her hair. Ruby pat her sister's shoulders sympathetically. Yang was shivering slightly as she was covered by a blanket. Blake and Weiss leaned closer to see Eevee.

"What is it?... It looks like fox, but it acts like a cat and a dog sometimes. So, you're calling it... An Eevee?" Weiss asked as she saw the smol creature. Eevee let out a small purr and cause her to 'daww'. She blushed in embarrassment after that.

"It's... so soft." Blake 'recklessly' and carefully put her hand stroked the soft fur of Eevee. Eevee, who was a lover of cuddles, unconsciously leaned closer to Blake's hand.

"Vee..." Eevee cooed cutely. That was it for Blake as she blushed and immediately started caressing gently on the cute boi. Eevee's face formed a small smile that caused everyone to crack open a small smile as well. Including myself.

"Let's focus on how it's going to sleep." I suggested, preparing a good sleeping spot for Eevee. I'm fine where I sleep. But Eevee? Needs extra care.

"Eh... Ehh... ACHOO!" Yang loudly sneezed that could've woken up the Eevee you stupid blond-

"Vee...?" Oh no, Eevee woke up... Yang, you clumsy bitch. You woke him up! Eevee unfortunately woke up (sadly) and blinked his eyes open. All of us were silent as Eevee was percieved as a child-like doll creature.

"Vee. Eevee?" Eevee said, curiously wandering his head around the area.

"Awwww! You're so adoorable!" Yang cooed as she went to pet Eevee. Unfortunately, Eevee remembered the incident of Yang punching him and physically recoiled at Yang's hand. As if it was afraid.

Yang's heart was shattered into pieces. She was devastated when the cute Eevee was afraid of her. Yang immediately sulked in depression and retracted her hand after she was a monster scaring the baby.

Eevee's face formed confusion and to realisation when he didn't really mean to make Yang sad. "Vee..." Eevee glanced at me, his eyes telling me that he wanted to help Yang.

"Um. Go ahead?" I acted confusedly and let Eevee pop out of my arms. Eevee leapt towards Yang's side who she was sulking and didn't realise Eevee.

"Eevee..." Eevee got ahold of Yang's attention who finally noticed Eevee was next to her and she was surprised to say at least. Almost apologetically, he lowered his head in shame as if he was saying sorry.

"Vee..." He whined in apology as Yang took the full cuteness and guilt at once.

"I guess he wants to say sorry for freezing you. He's also lowering his head in shame." I translated as Yang immediately brightened and gave a warm grin to Eevee.

"Awww, you wanted to say sorry? That's okay, little guy. I forgive you." Yang gave a warmthful grin and carrassed Eevee's head. Eevee raised his head and brightened with a wholesome smile that pierced Yang's heart.

It was super effective!

"Vee!" Eevee happily jumped to Yang's side and hugged her warmly, rubbing her leg affectionately with his soft cheeks as Yang was instantly seducted to Eevee's adorableness and immediately hugged Eevee.

"Awww, aren't you a cutie pie~! You're so precious!" Eevee, accepting the bone-crushing hug, nuzzled her face. Yang began to laugh.

"Stop! Stop, that tickles! Hehehe!" Eevee started to lick Yang's face as she laughed. For some reason, the sight was almost disturbing to see in my perspective because A, Eevee is a male. B, he's currently almost half my age, and C, he's also mature enough NOT to lick a human.

Then again, the adorableness and cuteness of Eevee cancelled it out. The childish fluffball licking a supermodel wasn't a disturbing sight at all. Yang began to laugh as she had enough and pulled away Eevee and stared intensely at his eyes.

"Vee!" Eevee barks happily as it immediately caused Yang to break her composure and smile widely.

"Awwww~" Ruby and Weiss cooed as the wholesome and adorableness of Eevee alone warmed their hearts. Weiss decided to 'fuck it', and tried getting the attention of the cinnamon roll to her. She wanted cuddles! I think!

"Come here, Eevee! Come here! Come to me!" Weiss enthusiastically called out to Eevee who turned to the voice of question in confusion. Then later tilted his head in curiousity.

"Umm, I think I'll have to introduce him to you all. Eevee, the yellow one's Yang. She's... well, fiery. White one, Weiss. She's cold. We call her Ice Queen." "HEY!" I ignored her. "You already know Ruby, and the Blake one on the top of the bed- Wait. Blake, why are you up there?" I noticed Blake staying far away from Eevee to the point where she stayed on the bunk bed. She was almost warry of Eevee.

"I don't know. When he started licking Yang, I started to move away from him.... I can't get down." Blake honestly admitted that she couldn't leave the bunk bed. She wasn't afraid of Eevee, but I think she's scared of the dog-like personality of Eevee?

"Voi!" Eevee happily barked and leapt from Yang's arms towards Blake's bed. Blake froze when she saw Eevee. Eevee cooed happily and walked closer and closer to Blake.

Blake kept a cautious face at Eevee when he was right next to her lap. Eevee just stood there, tilting his head in confusion as to why Blake was so 'movey' from him.

"... Voi?..." He tilted his head in curiousity as he lowered his ears. Blake's face showed 'I wanna pet it, I WANNA PET IT' kind of look, as she unconsciously pat Eevee's head. Now realising what she had done, Eevee acted.

"Eevoi!" Eevee happily purred as his ears flapped up as the soon as Blake's hand pat on his head. Blake couldn't take it anymore and was forced to cup her mouth to hide her heavy blush.

"... Why are you adorable... Something this cute shouldn't exist..." Blake muttered as Eevee was oblivious to her condition. I could tell Weiss was very jealous and sad that she didn't got her turn yet. I understood her, because who doesn't love Eevee and have cuddles?

"Veve voi, veve voi~" Eevee happily hummed a random tune that greatly shocked (welcomely) the girl's population that he could SING. It was cute, I guess.

"Eevee just sung?! That's so cute!" Weiss cooed excitedly when Eevee sung. Eevee finally noticed her and stared at Weiss' eyes. Weiss froze for a moment Eevee stared at her eyes for mysterious reasons.

"Eevee! Voi, voi, voi-" Eevee stepped back a took a few steps on the bunk bed, as if it was going to jump. Team RWBY's eyes widened when Eevee was going to do a dangerous task as jumping from a high place.

"Get ready to catch him. He looks like he's going to throw himself at you." I casually advised Weiss who immediatly widened her eyes.

"Eevee!" Eevee leapt towards from the bunk bed to their shock and thrown himself at Weiss, who reacted quickly to catch him. What they expected was Weiss caught Eevee harmlessly. But I knew better.

"EEVEE! NO, OOF!" Weiss had caught Eevee towards her arms, but fell down from the force Eevee leapt and they both crashed down to the ground. That happens everytime if you're not prepared for that. Eevee just literally throws himself at someone.

"Hahahaha! Stop, stop! Not the face! Not the face!" Weiss laughed outloud as Eevee started cuddling her and licking her affectionately. Weiss slowly stood herself and sat on the ground, using her laps as pillows for Eevee.

"Eveveveveeee~" Eevee hummed as he enjoyed the ear scratching coming from Weiss, as she felt total joy cuddling Eevee.

"Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Yes, yes, yes you are~" Weiss sang as Eevee whined happily as he enjoyed the cuddles from Weiss. Eevee cawed happily as Weiss scratched the back of his ears.

"I want to cuddle Eevee too! Eevee, come here! I got cookies!" The rest of Team RWBY froze as Ruby suddenly came back with cookies.

Cookies, their chocolate parts, were very harmful to animals like Dogs and Cats, since chocolate was toxic to Dogs as they contained a chemical called theobromine, which Dogs cannot metabolize as they were more sensitive to the chemicals' effects.

"Eevee, here!" Ruby, forgetting this fact, threw a chocolate chip cookie towards Eevee when Yang, Weiss, and Blake widened their eyes as they tried to slap away the cookie away from Eevee.

"Vee!" Eevee immediately jumped up and chomped on the cookie when it was in mid-air. Yang, Blake, and Weiss were shocked as Eevee just ate a cookie. Well, I didn't care much.

"Omnomnom~" Eevee happily consumed the cookie at a fast rate that almost rivaled Ruby's speed in eating cookies. He ate the cookie showing no signs of toxicity or discomfort.

Well... Eevee wasn't a dog, or a cat, or either a fox. He wasn't a hybrid, but he was a pokemon. Pokemon had different metabolism, each differing from each type, and Normal-types were just as fine consuming cookies.

"RUBY!" Yang shouted as her sister gave her a heart attack. Ruby tilted her head in confusion.

"What? I wanted to give him a cookie, since he reminds me of... Zwel. Oh no! I just fed Eevee a cookie!" Ruby realised, horrified of what she had done. Eevee burped loudly and he was perfectly fine.

"What's wrong with giving a cookie to Eevee? He looks perfectly fine." I asked confusedly, as both Yang and Ruby were also unsure at the fact.

"We have a pet corgi dog called Zwei. Last time when Rubes gave him a cookie, let's just say it didn't end too well..." Yang recalled the events when Zwei was in serious danger to the point where he needed to go to a vet. Ruby was very devasted and never ate cookies near Zwei again.

"Isn't because he's a dog? Based on what I've seen, you still think Eevee looks like a corgi?" I eyed Eevee who started to walk towards Ruby. Eevee, wanting moar cookies, licked Ruby's fingers of the remains of the cookie. Ruby laughed as she retracted her hand away from Eevee.

"You don't think... that Eevee's something else entirely?..." Weiss carefully asked as she eyed Eevee. It wasn't a dog, or a hybrid. Eevee, was something else.

"The hell if I know. I just wanna keep him cuz he's adorable." I shrugged and crossed my arms. I watched as Ruby toyed around Eevee with another cookie in her hands.

...

Later, I closed the door shut and glanced outside the dorms. "And I'm guessing you want to meet Eevee?" I asked the group of Professors, students, and Ozpin waited behind the door.

"Ooh! Ooh! Can I meet him?! Pleeeeaaasseee? Pretty please?" Nora begged to enter the door. However, I gave her a unsure look.

"I doubt Eevee's going to meet you after you... well, scared him off. The chances are you scaring him is possible, sooo... no." Nora took it like she was hit by her own hammer. Nora slumped as Ren consoled her.

"Mr Underwell... are you sure, leaving this... 'Eevee' creature to Team RWBY?" Ozpin raised his eyebrows. I shrugged casually.

"Eh, they're having the times of their lives right now." I replied. Ozpin 'hmm'-ed in curiousity as the Professors (and Doctor) went inside the dorm room of Team RWBY. I sweatdropped.

"Team JNPR, would you please enter your dorm rooms? I wish to speak with Mr Underwell, privately." Ozpin sternly ordered, as Team JNPR hesitantly but agreed to the Headmaster's orders. Now it was me and Ozpin alone.

"Mr Underwell... This 'Eevee' creature attacked several of our students but to no serious injuries, do think that it would be a reasonable choice to leave it alone in this school facility, possibly endangering hundreds of students?" Ozpin asked.

I took a moment of thought. The thought of Eevee endangering hundreds was simply ridiculous. Eevee's sole existence endangers almost all of the population in Remnant... With cuteness.

"Eheeeeeemmmmmm, nah... Based on what I've seen, this 'creature' basically harmless as a little kitten, and the cuteness of it." Ozpin raised an eyebrow in confusion as to why I told that to him.

The dorm door of Team RWBY opened to reveal the Professors gently smiling mysteriously. Ozpin raised an eyebrow then later understood why. Eevee was playing around with Team RWBY as they happily cooed for Eevee.

"... Now, I understand why. Would you know why 'Eevee' decided to kidnap you?" Ozpin gently smiled and asked to me seriously. I shrugged.

"Dunno. Maybe it thought I was his owner or something. As I really doubt that idea of how unlikely that is, it's the only idea I've got. Other than that, I have no idea..." I casually lied to Ozpin's face. The lie worked as Ozpin glanced at Eevee with a small smile.

"Well, it is safe to know that Eevee is in good hands..." Ozpin remarked as he saw Eevee. I rolled my eyes. Good hands my ass. And this was the Headmaster who led child soldiers to an unwinnable war...

[AN: Please review. Comment. Like. Stay safe. Good day.]