When in Doubt, Yeet de Eevee

After all the shitstorm was cleared, Team RWBY and JNPR went to their normal classes doing shit whatever students do, along with some changes...

An Eevee.

The cinnamon roll of a Pokemon was happily barking in my arms as it drew some attention of students of awe, surprise, and mostly cuteness as it caused the female population to caw in cuteness.

"Look at that thing! It's so cute!" "What is it? It's so fluffy!" "It looks like a baby! Dawww, look it go!" The murmurs of students cooing in cuteness of Eevee silently called(?) out.

I mostly ignored the murmurs and went to Professor Goodwitch's Combat Instructions Class and begun my second class. Eevee was squirming out of my arms for some reason as it barked for to get out.

I raised an eyebrow at that. I glanced at the stage. Oh. That's what he was thinking...

"There ain't no pokemon for you to fight, Eevee. You don't wanna fight da hoomans, okay?" I whispered to Eevee's ears and he immediately stopped and stared at me in shock. Eevee suddenly transformed into Espeon in order to talk.

'There isn't any... Pokemon in this world? I thought this school was pokemon-free and I was scared a bit, since I was a Pokemon, but in a world there isn't a single pokemon?... Yikes. Now I'm a bit lonely...' Espeon lowered his head in sadness, as he was the only pokemon in Remnant. My response was to nurse his head in comfort.

'As long as I'm here, you won't be lonely anymore. Coffee?' I pulled out a small thermos from my blazer (somehow) and twisted it to open. Espeon immediately brightened as he took pleasure smelling the aroma of coffee.

'Aah, the bittersweet smell of coffee. I wanted this... I missed it.' Espeon sipped the small cup using his psychic powers and drank it whole. Espeon then later noticed we were in the Amphitheater, and we were casually drinking coffee.

'How the hell no one has noticed the sheer absurdity of an Espeon drinking coffee pulled from a blazer without any comments inside a room with many people...?' Espeon remarked in wonder as I shrugged and hid the thermos inside my blazer.

"Bullshittery. Gives me perfect stealth when I want it to be. No one's going to notice us drinking coffee, because bullshittery." I replied as Espeon 'ahh'-ed in understanding.

Goodwitch stood on the stage, alone to call the attentions of the students. "Now, as per usual opening of class, I shall pick one student, and one shall volunteer." She called out.

"Mr Arc. If you would kindly step inside the arena." Jaune Arc gulped as he prepared himself. Espeon raised an eyebrow towards Jaune.

'Jaune, his name is... He doesn't look any strong than you. Are you sure that he's supposed to be here?...' Espeon commented Jaune's physique. I eyed Jaune as he hesitantly stepped towards the stage.

'Well, he kind of faked his transcripts in this school, trying to prove something, because he thinks himself as a failure, and he kind of is, but his team stopped before he could leave. Now he's trying to fit in.' I answered. Espeon pondered in thought for a moment.

'Well, any outcome comes out that he's screwed... Mind telling me the whole crew?' Espeon asked, as unsurprisingly, Cardin volunteered to beat the shit out of him.

'Well, the green and calm one's Lie Ren. You know Nora Valkyrie, and she's got an ability to shrug off electricity and go hyper-active. The redhead's Pyrrha Nikos. Mistral Champion, and she's kind of the top based on her stats.' I telepathically explained as Jaune was in the middle of getting bullied by Cardin.

'And I know Ruby, Yang, Weiss, and Blake. They give... good cuddles, I guess. Mind if you explain where the hell I am?' Espeon asked. I raised an eyebrow in confusion.

'I thought you knew when you read my mind.' I asked as Jaune screamed 'manly' when his nuts were smacked. Espeon didn't flinch.

'I know bits and pieces, but I mostly forgot some of them because I'm half awake. WHERE THE HELL AM I?!' Cardin suddenly slipped from his feet and crashed to the ground as the stage shook from Espeon's psychic irritation.

'You're in a world where humanity is absolutely and about to be fucked. Said fuckers are Grimm, which their population covers about... 90 or 78% of the world and these guys are the future protectors from humanity killing Grimm to 'save the world'.' I monotonously explained with a deadpan. Espeon deadpanned as he pointed at the stage.

'Them? Protectors of humanity? Give me a break, these guys wouldn't be able to take on about half the fucking population of the planet... Is the headmaster high or something?' Espeon skeptically questioned. I rolled my eyes.

'Well, he does take an absurd amount of coffee in the daily basis... Also the fact he's got PTSD from reincarnation and reincarnation. And add to the fact that his ex-wife's trying to kill him cuz he did something bad. Said ex-wife is the controller of ALL. GRIMM. She's basically the Grimm Queen or something.' Espeon immediately deadpanned when he took the information.

'So, we're in the crossfire of these former married couples trying to kill each other because... hatred and stupidity?... And the wife side has the sole advantage? What the fuck...' Espeon facepalmed himself. I sighed.

'Also, these guys have humans and humans who have animal features on their heads or bodies and they have bad relationships that cause them to be racist to each other...? Really not helping to deal against Grimm.' Espeon glanced at Blake and Velvet and noticed their ears.

'So... We're basically screwed and we can't save the planet because of disadvantage, racism, our fucking suspicious imfamousy, and the fact you're a kid and I can't talk to humans... Aah, for fuck's sake...' Espeon repeadily smacked his head into my stomach. I agreed with him.

"The winner is Cardin Winchester." Professor Goodwitch announced the winner as Jaune, face on the ground as he groaned on his balls in agony. Cardin smirked smugly. I narrowed my eyes with a grunt.

"Hey, can you turn into Eevee for a sec? I really need to do this..." I asked Espeon as he deadpanned to me. He shook his head. I glared harder. He again shook his head. My eyes were glowing in red (in meme style). He started to sweat bullets and reluctantly nodded.

...

As Cardin stood proudly in the stage, he overlook the crowd and saw the blazer wearing bastard in the stage with the stupid dog thing. He cupped his mouth and shouted.

"Booo! You suk!" Mark called out, as Cardin scowled and readied to pounce on him and beat the shit out of him, but he widened his eyes when Mark pulled out a small brown pillow and proceeded to yeet at him.

"VEEEE-!" SMACK!

The brown blur of fluff was revealed to be Eevee, crashing towards Cardin's skull and knocking him out flat on his ass. Both victims had stars swirling around their heads and Eevee having the comical swirly eyes in faint status.

Mark casually walked towards the stage and stood alone, scooping and holding the unconscious Eevee in his arms in public. Cardin was groaning in pain while clutching his head. Everyone was shocked at the sight.

Mark pulled out his trusty-rusty sonic screwdriver and activated it. With some whirls and swirls, he hacked the audio system of the Ampitheater and turned his screwdriver as a mircophone.

Mark tapped the screwdriver a few times, causing the audio speakers to whine in a high-pitched shriek that cause everyone to cup their ears in pain. As Mark was satsified, he began to speak.

"Sorry if I interupted this class session. This will be over in a giffy, I swear. I'd like to announce some things to you." He spoke to the group of students who murmured loudly at the audacity of interupting Professor Goodwitch's session.

She had a reputation of cold, strict, no nonesense sessions and students would cower in fear of even being in detention with her. To even interupt and announce in her class needed to have brass balls to do so.

"I'm... Mark. Mark Underwell. I'm the rehab new student who got kidnapped by this little fluff of joy and I want to announce something entirely." He glanced at the crowd.

"This... is Eevee. The currently creature who disrupted Professor Port's class (and God it was worth it) and the guilty of harming and freezing a student and whatnot. Let me tell you something about this guy. You either hurt, flash photos, decorate, steal, abuse, or even straight up try to fuck it, I WILL PERSONALLY SUMMERSULT AND DROPKICK YOUR ASSES INTO A COMA." Mark warned menacingly at the crowd, who gulped in fear.

"This is the cutest thing that's not even an animal in our offical animal wikipedia, and it is not a dog, cat, or a fox entirely. Not even close to a hybrid. Maybe." He looked unsure and glanced at Eevee, (who woke up) and barked. Everyone sweatdropped at that statement.

"I just want to say, don't try anything stupid against my fookin' Eevee. Taht's all and dandy. If so, I will think of a million ways to torture you all painfully and slowly as possible while Eevee tries to stop me and teach the stupid concept of mercy." Mark darkly smiled at them. The crowd had shivers down their spines. Until Eevee decided that was not helpful and decided to smack Mark's face with his fluffy tail.

...

Which I gotta say, it didn't hurt, but it felt bad. "Vee! Veevee Vee VEE!" Eevee barked as he glared (so cutely) as if he was scolding me not to scare the students.

"... Alright, fine! I won't torture the students, you happy?" Eevee still glared at me skeptically. The student crowd tried not to laugh at the sight of a cute boi scolding at the creepy dude.

"... Vee." He raised his paw up to my hand. I deadpanned. He glared harder this time. Awww, I was getting scolded by my own Eevee...

"Alright, fine... I swear I will not kill anyone." I tapped the paw and he immediately brightened and cawed happily. Fortunately, his noise of happiness was right next to the screwdriver causing the speakers to hear his coos of wholesome.

"Awwww~" The mostly female population cooed at the cuteness. The male population just either shrugged and looked as if they wanted to pet Eevee. It was so adorable.

"Vee?" Eevee and I suddenly were floating by an invisible force surrounded by mystical purple aura as Goodwitch saw both of us with a deep scowl on her features. She was angry.

"As much as threatening your 'announcement' was, Mr Underwell... I'd advise not to break any more rules from now on, or you will be in serious trouble." She warned seriously, as my only response was to shrug. Eevee adorably tried to struggle against her telepathic grip as it was almost entertaining to watch.

Eevee, suddenly turned into Espeon, broke free out of Goodwitch's psychic grip and landed on his feet. He stretched his body and yawned as he overlooked the crowd with mild curiousity.

The student crowd watched as in shock, disbelief and awe as the cute and smol fluffy brown boi transformed into a psychic cat in their eyes. What was more shocking was that that infamous psychic hold of no nonesense was simply shrugged off by a cat!

'I can take care of myself, you know...' Espeon muttered as he glanced at me. I shrugged.

'Eh, I wanted to give them a thought that you weren't exactly dangerous. Gives a deceitful surprise and I wanted to annouce everyone so I can get this over with. Mind breaking the psychic hold?' I hopely asked as Espeon acted as if he ignored me.

'Espeon...' I skeptically glared at him. He was purposely ignoring me. That little-

"Moving on from the interuption, the next battle shall be between... Mark Underwell and... Weiss Schnee." Glynda activated the randomiser and announced the combatants. She dropped the hold on my body as I fell down.

Weiss walked towards the stage as she prepared herself to a battle. "That was very unmature of you to interrupt a class. You're marking yourself as a delinquent, you know?" She glared, annoyed at my audacity and boldness. I rolled my eyes.

"I really don't care what they paint me as. Also, you're not my mother. And was that a pun?" I eyed Weiss as I searched my pockets for a weapon. Weiss almost looked confused.

"A pun joke? I'm not Yang, why would I- Oh. Marking. Mark. Ahahaha." Weiss monotonously acted to laugh at the pun. I rolled my eyes and continued to search my pockets until I felt something on my fingertips.

"Ah-HA!" I pulled out the object from my blazer. All of the crowd went silent and most of them burst into laughter of what I was holding. Most of them, like Weiss, blushed like a schoolgirl (because she is one) at what I was holding.

I won't say it. I won't say what it is. But I'll tell you what it does.

A certain tool for shoving stuff. Looks like a p*nis and it is made of bright coloured plastic. I deadpanned at the object. "I didn't put this shit in here..." And I casually threw it away. They all continued to laugh harder.

"Y-YOU, YOU-" Weiss heavily red and spluttered as she was completely caught off-guard from the certain tool for shoving things as she knew what it was. By accident, maybe?

I sighed. "I didn't put a fucking d**** inside my blazer. What was I going to use it for? Lethal purposes? Yeah right. Gimme a sec to get my weapon..." I rummaged my blazer when I heard Ruby asked what was a 'd****' was. Yang immediately stopped before anyone can answer that question and proceeded to glare at me.

I checked before I was going to take it out, and it was the weapon I was going to use. "Alright! I'mma use this weapon to beat the shit out of you. Behold, the grilling fork!" I proudly announced the 'grilling fork' at the crowd. That caught them off-guard again as they laughed harder this time.

"WILL YOU TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY?!" Weiss, with a red face puffed out embarrassed and mad from the ridiculousness as if I was toying with her. I glanced at her with a serious expression. She was again caught off-guard from the seriousness.

"Federal agents took my barbeque sauce... BUT YOUR BLOOD WILL SUBSTITUTE NICELY." My emotionless face darkened with red light as I leaned closer with the grilling fork towards Weiss. Weiss was outright terrified as she unconsciously prepared herself.

I slammed the ground and pushed myself towards Weiss and stabbed her. She blocked the blows repeadily as she tried to block all of the fast strikes by me.

"I AM UNSTOPPABLE. I CANNOT BE STOPPED!" I screamed, landing a few hits to Weiss as she struggles to get a grip. The scene was so ridiculous to the fact that she was getting her ass handed by a man without any aura using a fucking. GRILLING FORK.

"ENOUGH!" She flung back the grilling fork in anger and she manifested a glyph under her and dashed towards me, rapier in hand. Suprisingly, I didn't try to block it. I ran towards her instead.

Although she was shocked and was in disbelief of how STUPID the approach was, she went for a stab anyways and I used the fork to trap the rapier, letting it slide some sparks and pulled my fist back.

She widened her eyes when the fist came and struck her face. I let go of my fork and uppercutted her jaw. She stumbled backwards, as I dashed towards her and whacked her with a headbutt.

Preparing for my two palms, I shoved her chest away from me and twisted my body around hit her sides with a roundhouse kick, causing her to crash toward the floor.

Before she could get up, I pulled my leg back and kicked the life out of her and sent her flying, as she slid on the floor while coughing in pain. I casually walked towards her rapier, Myrtenaster, and plucked it off the ground. Ripping out the fork from the rapier, I glanced at Weiss.

Weiss was coughing and weaponless as she glared at me coldly. "You're playing dirty, Underwell!" She spat out. I raised an eyebrow. Underwell? Normally, she calls people their last names when she 'dislikes' them. Something about last names to insult their 'lower status'-ness, I guess.

"Dirty? I'm the one who hasn't gotten my aura unlocked, and said person that's using a freaking grilling fork as a weapon. You, on the other hand, is using a multi-action dust rapier with their aura and semblance unlocked, and you call this situation dirty? Really?" I skeptically asked to Weiss who had nothing to say. I hummed and pondered on my chin. Then I threw away the rapier.

"Now that I think about it, you are correct. I was playing dirty. Due to the fact I am currently 5 billion years old, using a grilling fork of mass destruction, the use of bullshittery..." I pondered, momentarily shocking and confusing Weiss about she was right. Then to scowling, thinking I was an arrogant little bastard that was strong enough to mock her.

Weiss took the chance of rolling to the ground and grabbing her rapier in her hands. Pointing the weapon at me with a scowl, while I studied her.

Twisting the fork in a back-handed grip, I blocked the attacks and slashes from Weiss as she jabbed and slashed her way through. A few jabs managed to cut my skin, letting out a few blood to see, but I ignored it.

She flipped backwards, creating a glyph behind her in the air and sent her towards me. I parried the blow and twisted my body around as she summoned glyphs everywhere and attacked in random directions.

When she went for an underblow to my sides, I slammed the fork, plucking the blade of the rapier with it, to the ground and immobilising both of our weapons. I punched the pommel for good measure.

"AAAAHHHH!" I shouted with a warcry and charged towards her when she was weaponless. The force of the charge caused her to fall with a grunt. Jumping towards her body, I continued to pummel on top of her as she tried to block the attacks.

...

'You're nothing but a trapped bird calling for hope.' Weiss had a grimm thought on her head when she was getting pummeled by Underwell. She had to get out of his-

'You are my daughter, and I own you! My words are absolute, Weiss!' Her father's voice ranged out as she dropped her guard and let one of his fist smack her face. No, she wasn't her father's property anymore! She was herself, and with her friends-

'I should've never had a little sister like you.' Winter's voice caused her to froze. She was suddenly standing in Atlas, in the Schnee Mansion with trapped windows and puppet dresses. Her heart started to beat fast as she wanted to get out.

Running past the doors to Winter's room, there, her graceful sister stood in front of her, but her sister didn't face her. Finally, she turned. She glared. The glare broke her heart when it was the same glare of disappointment that vowed her to be perfect. But she wasn't.

"You should've been a leader, Weiss. Not partnering with that child you call your leader. I'm ashamed of you. You are not fit to be my little sister." Winter's voice cut her to the heart as she tried to shout, but no words came out.

"Listen to me! I AM YOUR FATHER, AND I OWN YOU! YOU ARE NOTHING, BUT A LITTLE BIRD CALLING FOR HOPELESS DESIRES! YOU ARE MY PROPERTY!" Her father's distorted voice caused her to scream, wailing to end this nightmare. But it didn't. She was hopeless, and alone.

"....." She overlooked her teammates, her friends. She lent out her hand to help her, but it went through their bodies like snow. She was alone in this nightmare. She couldn't accept it. This nightmare...

... WAS NOTHING BUT A DILLUSION. A FAKE! A DREAM! SHE REFUSED TO ACCEPT IT!!

...

I stopped a fist towards her face before I could punch her. I sensed an overwelming force of nature swelling from Weiss as I backed away from her. Ohhhh, shiet. She looked pissed. She got up, silent and cold.

"... YoU." She coldly spat with a distorted voice and summoned multiple glyphs on the ground, cracking the stage as the gravity tripled to the maxium weight. She had a sinster grin on her face with a black tattooed pattern on her closed left eye.

I narrowed my eyes as I ignored the cries of protest Espeon shone a invisible barrier around the stage for good measure. I cracked my knuckles.

She leaned closer and dashed into unnatural speeds and took the rapier out of the ground. She went for a lethal blow to my head, intending to swishkabab my ass. I backed away from her and pulled out an object from my blazer as I gritted my teeth.

A flash of white light exploded from my blazer.

Ears ringing, eyes blinded, it was a flashbang. I dodged the blow as I rolled to the fork and grasped it in a defensive stance, readying my fork at her as the light cleared out.

She dialed her rapier into Fire Dust mode and brightened her blade into a fiery hot blade. I frowned as she sent fire projectiles at me as I dodged them, narrowingly missing the chance of becoming KFC.

She dialed into Ice Mode and stabbed the ground, creating icicle shards and pillars towards me as I gripped my fork and slammed the ground to counter the ice. I widened my eyes as how fucking close her blade was and immediately raised my arms.

The blow sent me backwards crashing through the invisible barrier, stumbling on the ground as I panted. Dialing to Lightning Mode, she cracked the barrier with a single strike as my frown narrowed down.

"Weiss! Stop, he's Mark, and he's our friend!" Ruby sped towards in front of Weiss, stopping Weiss momentarily as her tattoo slowly faded. Espeon acted when the tattoo came back more darker and shoved Ruby before Weiss could attack her.

Ruby was shocked when her partner tried to kill her. I grunted and readjusted my shoulder with an audible snap. "Looks like she's out of it. I don't think she's Weiss anymore, yet. Let's just beat her until she-" I was interupted when Weiss charged towards me.

"You do not like me, do you?" I grunted as I blocked the jab from Weiss using the fork (don't ask me how) as I struggled to move the thin blade away from me. With a warcry, I flicked away the blade as I dashed towards Weiss.

"RUBY!" Yang ran towards Ruby's side as she watched her icy teammate in shock and disbelief.

"Weiss... there's something wrong with her..." Ruby sorrowly muttered as she overlooked the battle. Blake watched the battle with the same feelings, and there was something definitely wrong with the Schnee heiress.

"Mothafocka!" I cried out as I stepped the walls and dashed towards Weiss. Weiss' aura was going skyrocket as I could sense her aura rising. There was something wrong with Weiss, and I think it's because...

Of my last semblance.

[AN: Please review.]