The Woman in the Portrait

When I reentered the hall, I was immediately beckoned over by a group of students. They were snickering and seemed anxious to have me there with them.

I got nervous for some reason.

"Come, come!" the boy with the dark skin and the pink hair waved his hand over.

"Go ahead," Professor Kartik said as he closed the door behind him. "Meet your fellow mare members. Now that you've just met our more ancient members, I suppose it is now time to meet with the rest."

I laughed a little at the simple joke, making me remember the rows upon rows of portraits I had seen in the previous room. For a short moment, I found myself surprised at the prospect of having my own face in those portraits in the future.

However, that won't happen until a long time. I have more pressing issues to tackle now.

The students kept waving me over. One of them actually made his way towards me when I hesitated to move. I gulped a little, waiting for the boy to arrive.

Although I felt a bit of dread, I couldn't deny the curiosity I had about them. Even though most of them were teenagers, there were some who were only five or so years older than me. Maybe I would get a better grasp about this secretive mare once I befriend a few of them...

"Greetings. This one is called Eleftherion." I bowed towards the boy.

"Oh, 'nuff of that," he told me casually. "Nobody in Mare Desiderii cares much 'bout these noble traditions and whatnot."

When I rose up, I found myself staring at him. He had the most exotic of faces. With his dark, chocolate-brown skin, his richly pink and spiky hair made him look even more uncommon. His eyes too...

"Oh, dear, I've been staring. I apologize," I murmured with a fluster, and the boy just laughed it off.

"The name's Norc," he declared proudly. "I may look younger, but I'm actually 18 this year, but no worries, I ain't having plans of graduating soon!"

"Not that he could, since he's been stuck as a Frigoris for almost seven years now!" an ash-blond haired girl shouted out from the group.

I pursed my lips, not knowing whether I should laugh or grimace. Norc, however, simply shouted back insults about how "a Cognitum always feels they're the best, but they're just stuck-ups and know-it-alls!".

Soon enough, there was a fierce shouting match between the couple, and while most of the students were only watching with mild interest, no one was stepping forward to stop them. Unknowingly, someone had begun his way towards me. He was only a few steps away when I noticed him.

He poked my arm, and I pretended to be surprised.

"Oh!" I shouted as I whirled around to look at him with wide eyes.

He was short. Well, I was shorter than him, but he might just be the shortest one in the room afterwards.

He peered down at me with his still chubby cheeks. "How old are you?"

I grimaced at the sudden question. "... Seven?"

"Are you not sure?"

"Uh, no. I'm quite sure I'm seven," I declared more loudly.

He stared at me for a long moment before finally shrugging. "Oh, well. That ends my time as the youngest member of Mare Desiderii."

"Oh, get a noggin'! Carlisle, you haven't been young in ages!" the spiky-haired boy shouted back at him before going back to his shouting match with the girl.

The boy named Carlisle glared at him, but only muttered, "I'm only thirteen... I'm only thirteen..."

"Umm... Thirteen is young," I tried to console him.

He only sighed deeply. "Well, I suppose my reign as the youngest will end tonight. It had been a pleasure having that title for a good eight years..."

I was only nodding to that when I finally did the numbers. "Eight years... you say?"

"Mhmm..." he murmured.

"Then... you would have been five when you first... That can't be. The Academy doesn't take in children that young, doesn't she?"

He grinned. "I'm a special case."

"... Apparently so."

"Yep!" He nodded eagerly. "In fact, I'm like you. A Sinus Fidei."

"But haven't you been here for years now? Why haven't you ranked up?"

He gave me an easy smile, despite my hasty and impolite question. "In Mare Desiderii, your second mare doesn't matter. Although a few of us have made it to Cognitum, that's only because they chose to do so. Let's see... Look over there at Norc. He might not seem like much, but he's way stronger than Anita, even though he's a Frigoris and she's a Cognitum."

I frowned. "But why would one choose not to advance his rank?"

Carlisle shrugged. "Because we already did it."

I stared at him, before finally appeasing him. "... Did what?"

"We already made it to the fifth and final mare, Mare Desiderii, that's why."

His eyes shone, and so did mine.

'Why are there an even number of mares?'

'What comes after Mare Cognitum?'

'Why is it that many of the Cognitum choose to stay for years before finally choosing to graduate?'

Those were some of the questions that have bothered me. But now, if what Carlisle was saying was true, then the fifth mare wasn't just an auxiliary mare, but actually a part of the structure itself. If it is indeed ranked higher than Mare Cognitum, then...

I shook my head. "That's all balderdash. Why would I be invited to join here then? I'm barely past my basics. I'm less than mediocre in my theories-"

"Doesn't matter," he said. "We recognize your natural abilities, and we see great potential in you."

I pouted my lips, still unconvinced. "So then, if we're even better than Mare Cognitum, then we might all just ask to be released from the Academy immediately, yes? We won't need to reach Mare Imbrium to even graduate!"

Carlisle laughed. "But who ever wants that? I'd like to waste all of my youthful years within these protected walls."

'Protected walls...' I thought, and then looked at the boy closer.

He didn't look like much, although his sandy hair and dark green eyes did make him look like a noble. But his demeanor and circumstances, to have been brought to the Academy at such a young age...

Looking at his tremulous eyes as he stared at the sullen wall, I began to share an understanding with the boy. Whatever the realities he faced outside the magical barriers of the Academy, he didn't want to face them just yet. Like me, he was probably here biding his time, before everything exploded and the fleeting times of fantasy would all break away to reveal the cold reality.

~~

'Professor Kartik, Tora, Heather, Norc, Anita, and Carlisle...'

For now, those were the names that stuck to my head, the day after the chaotic Advancement Ball. After a long time of revelry, Anita brazenly brought us to the main hall, with our masks and hats on, of course, and we decided to crash into the party. There were shouts of shock, and I couldn't really blame the other students for running away from us. We did look quite grotesque.

"This is a cyclical custom we do every Advancement Ball," Carlisle explained to me, just as the lights flickered on and off due to light magic. "We end the night by making a ruckus in the main hall, aiming to scare off the new Frigoris, truly."

I snickered at that, but I saw that it wasn't only the younger students who were scared of our display. Right after Norc finally gave the finale showcase of a round of dazzling magical fireworks, I felt a familiar tug in my gut, and I was forcefully teleported out of the ballroom and into the garden, right outside of the castle.

It surprised me, but there was one of us who was capable of doing such a large scale teleportation...

It was only then that I realized how incredibly strong and powerful the others were. It only made me wonder why I had even been allowed to join them as one of their own.

Nevertheless, I was soon told to bid them goodnight, and the professor came out of nowhere to lead me back to the dormitory himself. With an apology for keeping me up late, he then waved me goodbye before I could even ask the numerous questions that sprouted inside me. In fact, it felt like a tree of questions had grown in me, blooming every so quickly at every twist of events.

I had only to let the question tree wait, though, knowing that I could always come and visit the Desiderii Castle in more opportune hours.

That night, I slept fitfully, dreaming of faceless bodies with limbs twisted in abnormal ways, their open mouths singing of tuneless songs.

~~

I finally caught Joren just a mere day before our second cycle started.

He was crouching behind a bush, right outside of the main castle, his eyes trained at the seemingly interesting patch of soil.

"Joren?" I called out to him.

He looked up at me, his eyes bloodshot with dark bags underneath. His lips were pale, as though he hadn't slept in a long, long time.

"Therion?" he asked, his voice breaking in the middle.

"Oh dear God Solus!" I shouted and immediately knelt in front of him. "What happened? I was looking for you the whole break, and now here you are looking as though you're mere moments away from stepping into the golden kingdom!"

"Oh, oh, you were? Apologies... Ah, and no, I'm fine."

He never says, 'Apologies'...

"We must bring you to the infirmary," I told him firmly. "I know the head nurse there, and she's quite nice."

Thankfully, he didn't make a fuss over it. Nurse Melinda didn't ask too many questions as well.

When we were given a few moments to speak alone inside the infirmary, I immediately interrogated him.

"You haven't visited me at all," I said. "Even though I had been stabbed in my abdomen."

He frowned at his blanket. "I did visit, though..."

"Only once, and only very briefly," I countered. "What is it that you have been up to?"

"..."

"Fine, then I suppose you simply didn't find a good friend in me, if you didn't find it in yourself to look for me-"

"That's not it! Therion, not at all!" he screamed, his energetic self momentarily returning, and I had to refrain myself from releasing a sigh of relief.

Instead, I grabbed his hand and pleaded with him. "Then tell me why you've been so busy that you haven't even called on me once."

He bit his lower lip, looking at a loss. Finally, he said, "... I can't tell ya."

I took a deep breath. "Is it those older students? Is that man Telken after you again?"

He looked at me with genuine surprise that I knew it wasn't it.

"Alright, then what is it?" I asked again.

His emerald eyes looked away from me. When I glanced down, his free hand was now gripping onto the blanket with fierceness. "I can't-"

"And I can't help you if you don't tell me," I cut him off, gripping his hand a little bit tighter. "I just want to help, Joren."

For a moment, I knew he was about to do it, but then his expression closed off from me again. He sighed. "I want to tell ya, Therion. But... It's dangerous. I don't ever want ya to get hurt 'cuz of me."

I huffed out in exasperation. "I'm far stronger than you think, Joren! I'm not a child, not really!"

He smiled at me wistfully. "I know you're strong. And I know you can think like an adult, but I can too. I just don't want ya meddlin' in my affairs right now. I promise I'll tell ya all about it, but... not now."

I've never seen him look and sound so maturely. Just a few weeks ago, he had been Joren: the flame-haired boy with the fiery and cheery temperament. But looking at him now, with his sullen gaze and tough demeanor...

"Alright," I said. "I respect your choice, Joren. But if you find yourself in a situation you can't deal with alone, then promise that you'll call for me?"

He looked up at me in surprise, as though he'd never expected for me to approve. Then, he smiled, and his face immediately glowed into its usual cheeriness.

"Yes, Therion!"

"Promise me..."

"I promise I'll ask for your help once in a while," he slowly said.

I nodded. "Okay... and promise me that you'll take better care of your health."

"... I will. I promise."

I sighed, not knowing what else there was to say. I can't tell him about the Mare Desiderii, either...

I suppose we all have secrets we could never tell.

But when the sunlight from the windows flashed on his red hair, and I saw his gently smiling face while he sat there against the light, I realized...

I gasped.

The likeness was there. It never occurred to me since she had looked so much younger...

I knew who the woman in the portrait was. Back then, in the dimly lit room of portraits, I couldn't see her most distinguishing feature, that blazing red mane, but I now see a picture of her own youth sitting right here in front of me.

The woman was Tabitha, Joren's own mother.

Tabitha really did go to the Academy, and she even made it to Mare Desiderii. And one baffling fact stood out: Tabitha was a lady. There was no doubt that she was a noblewoman.

So now I couldn't help but wonder... Why are they living as commoners now?