I couldn't tell him. Maybe it's because I still wasn't a hundred percent sure, or maybe it's just because I didn't want to step into things that weren't mine to step into in the first place. Although I looked like a child, I was still an adult. If Tabitha didn't want to inform her son about her past and their real status, then I would have to respect that. She was the mother, and I was only a friend.
And yet I still became downhearted because of it, even though I've already made the decision to keep my mouth shut. In fact, I practically slugged my way into the main hall for the mandatory class sorting.
While I started to write my name on the special paper, my eyes flitted over towards the other seats. Students have already started to file into the Academy since a week ago, but some have given express letters about their tardiness.
Well, given that there were only two weeks of break, I suppose it was understandable how some of the students might have had trouble going back on time, including Albert and Kendra, in fact.
'That might explain the fewer amount of students inside the main hall.'
However, despite the less crowded room, I can't believe how I could hardly see Joren's red hair from where I sat. I mean, I did come here a bit later than usual due to my lethargy, but I had thought that he would at least save me a seat beside him. Now I'm stuck at the far back of the hall while he sat near the front.
'Is he avoiding me?' I thought.
I mean, it was highly probable. He had just admitted that he was in some sort of trouble but won't tell me what it was. It would rather be weirder if he didn't try to avoid me...
I sighed, and then I felt a sharp tingle come from my fingers, right where I had them planted on the piece of paper. It seemed like the magical paper had electrified me while I was lost in thought.
There were new words on them.
'Eleftheria child, it's been a while.'
And right under it, in a less elegant scrawl: 'You're ignoring me.'
I held in my laughter and picked up my pen. This magic paper definitely had a personality.
I wrote down, 'Forgive me. I've been having trouble with a friend.'
'Friend troubles... You have been busy since I last saw you.'
'I don't really think you can see me though,' I wrote down with a small grin. 'After all, you're just a piece of paper lined up with some magic.'
'... That's terribly rude.'
'Forgive me.'
'You have been acting very sorry about a lot of things today, Eleftheria.'
I sighed. 'Maybe because I am riddled with guilt.'
the paper shimmered dimly before replying, 'You are tired, but perhaps speaking the truth will ease your burdens.'
'And if the truth is not mine to tell?'
'Then it is wholly up to your decisions,' it said. 'And because I know you so well, I am already regretful about the weight you have to carry and will continue to carry in the years to come.'
I read that line again and again. It seems as though the paper even knew of the future.
And although I've already asked it before, I had to ask again.
'Is Hestia safe? Is she really alive?'
The reply came after a long time.
'I believe I have already given you my answers to those questions.'
Sighing yet again, I had to sit back against the chair's back, massaging my temple as I went. Although I quite enjoyed speaking with the piece of paper, I felt drained this time as well.
So, I didn't hesitate to start writing, 'Goodbye then.'
However, the paper wrote something below it before I could even finish.
'So? Have you indeed met with the crown prince of the great Empire?'
I stared at the words with such intensity that it might have exploded. Then, I wrote down, 'You should've just told me about him back then.'
'Did I not?' it said, shimmering in mock laughter, and then continued, 'And really, were my words even needed?'
I groaned. In the past, I had asked the paper if I had met the crown prince already because at that time, I still had a few suspicions about Charles. But now that I knew it for sure, I got a tiny bit annoyed at the piece of paper for not just telling it to me in a straightforward manner.
But truthfully...
Well, what's done is done, so it didn't really matter now.
In a trance, I wrote down carelessly, 'You once told me it was fate between the prince and I. And honestly, I agree. In both times, I have always been connected to him in some way or another.'
'Is this a confession, dear princess?'
I snorted. 'More like an objective evaluation. Yet no matter how hard I think about it, I can't help but notice one thing.'
"What is that?'
'We're always enemies,' I wrote down slowly.
'... Aren't you friends?'
I smiled wistfully and then replied, 'Can we not be both enemies and acquaintances? We were simply born on the wrong corners of the continent. Although we might find our personalities compatible, in the end, we are still defined by our lineages.'
'Says the woman who escaped from her country and her rank.'
I huffed into the air, and once again decided to take a break from my unusual conversation with a nonhuman persona.
'The paper has a point though,' I thought.
In this lifetime, I had the chance to make my own choices. I could remain as the crown prince's friend. In the future, after graduating from the Academy, I might even be a trusted aide with my accomplishments. Graduates from the Lunar Academy are treasures whichever country one chooses to go. So, if I decide to aid Charles as he rises up to his throne, then I had all the power and qualifications to do so.
However, I shook my head. It was an easy decision, really.
I just couldn't do that. Without a doubt, I felt like my friendship with Charles was one that I will always treasure. It is a kind of friendship that I knew could last a lifetime, but...
I could never betray my Kingdom. No matter my anger for the King, my brothers, and my mother, I couldn't betray my people simply because of that. Even if I had relinquished my role as their first princess, I still held a responsibility for them in my heart.
"Hmmm..." I murmured quietly. "Maybe I can act as a mercenary in the future..."
It was definitely a lively thought: Eleftherion, the free-willed mercenary who helps out the Saulian people for a bit of living expenses.
It would probably be harder than it sounded, but it seemed like a very good future in my own mind.
The paper shimmered. 'You've become silent. What are you thinking about?'
I smiled as I picked up my quill again, dabbled it in the ink jar, and started to write again.
~~
I received my class list with no problem, and the next day, I was already off to my classes.
To my irritation, I had not a single class with Joren. With Charles, I had four.
As usual, whenever I entered my assigned rooms, the robed individuals would glare at me and mock me. However, I simply ignored them this time. I hardly cared about their silly thoughts of inferiority anymore.
Once again, I had Advanced Potions and Poisons 2 with the beautiful Leila. When the time came where we had to choose partners, I immediately headed for her table.
Outside of class, we hardly spoke with each other, but we had a decent atmosphere when we had work to do.
I stared at her robes as she expertly tipped a tube down the cauldron. I muttered conversationally, "Congratulations on advancing a ring."
She glanced up once and showed an enchanting smile on her full lips. "Why, thank you, Eleftherion."
I did get to see her figure in the Advancement Ball a few days ago, but of course I couldn't speak with her at all that time. Even though I didn't see her during the Test of Waning, she still must've passed it quite easily.
After mincing and grinding a piece of dried fruit, I asked her curiously, "What do they call you now that you are no longer Sinus Fidei Maximus?"
She giggled as she received the ground up bits with ease, saying, "Nothing anymore. I am a simple Frigoris."
"Really?" I uttered.
"Being called a Sinus Fidei or a Sinus Fidei Maximus is all just a silly custom bored people have invented throughout the years," she explained. "In truth, having that title doesn't really matter. Those who receive it will only have it for a short time, after all."
I laughed as I took turns to stir the ladle. "All because it is easy for the owners to begone with their title and earn a higher rank."
She nodded easily, although none with the arrogance it could have come with. She was simply being truthful. She then said, "Perhaps we have gotten lucky by getting the title and passing the Test of Waning. Now, we are tasked with the challenge of continuing with the momentum we have been granted."
I nodded, "Surely-"
But I saw a familiar head of bright red in my peripheral vision. I sneaked a glance over at the open doorway, and saw his sleeve right before he had hidden himself.
'What's he doing here?' I thought in utter wonder.
"Eleftherion?" Leila asked, bringing me back to the task at hand.
I cursed as my extra flick with the ladle turned the mixture a brown color. "Oh darn it. I've messed up the recipe."
Leila simply tutted and took the ladle from my hands. She told me, "You should pay more attention to the things right in front of you, Eleftherion."
I was about to agree when she continued on, her mystifying eyes trained on mine. "After all, a man might lose sight of both bounties whilst desiring for both."
I gulped down nervously. I couldn't even think of an appropriate reply to her words and her grave expression. So, I simply bowed my head in apology.
"Help me with the dregs," she then said, her tone now back to its mellow tone.
Feeling thankful that she didn't rebuke me any longer, I immediately reached over to grab the cauldron, but only to flinch back as my fingers felt an intense surge of pain.
"Ouch," I murmured as I examined the light wound.
"Dear me, Eleftherion," she said with a sigh. "Don't you know not to grab the cauldron with your bare hands?"
Then, she began to guide me to the side where the faucet was. She run cold water on my fingers while she hummed prettily.
After an excruciating hour of me asking for forgiveness and her dismissing them with giggles, Assassin Vincentus (now Professor Racklight) finally dismissed us. I was the last one left in the classroom since I begged Leila to allow me to clean after our table. And although I was grateful she did allow me that, I was now tasked to clean some poisonous wares with one working hand and one injured one. The going was slow, but it did make me more aware of my surroundings.
"Reveal yourself," I said patiently as I scrubbed at a ceramic pot.
And finally, I heard a shuffle from behind me. Footsteps came forward and my ears knew them well.
I asked him without even turning back, "What are you doing here, Joren?"
"Wha-?" he shouted, and then ran up to face me. "How'd ya know it was me? And how'd ya know I was there?"
I shook my head at him endearingly, only half-lying when I replied, "I saw a glimpse of your ginger head a while ago."
"Oh..." he uttered and then sat on the stool in front of me.
"Don't go touching anything inside this room now," I chided him just before his curious hands could touch the poisonous plant on the opposite table. "Well, unless you want to go down with the boils, then by all means, please do so."
He flinched back in shock and then sat as obediently as a puppy.
When I was done with my cleaning, I looked up at him. "Why were you snooping around our room anyway?"
He looked troubled before murmuring, "... I can't tell ya."
I rolled my eyes. "Really?"
He sighed. "I- I just can't... But then I saw you get hurt 'cuz of that girl..."
I blinked up at him. "Whatever do you mean by that?"
His emerald eyes then looked down on my bandaged hand. "Don't trust that one. The girl with the black skin."
I took in a sharp breath. "... Because I was hurt and she was my partner? No, Joren. This wound happened because of my carelessness-"
Shaking his head, he said, "No, no, you got me wrong. It ain't just because of that, okay? I just... I can't tell ya more than this, but that girl... she's suspicious and dangerous, do ya hear me? Don't go near her more than ya have to... Alright, Therion?"
I stared at him, my gut wrenched up in dread. "Can't you just tell me, Joren? What exactly have you been up to these days?"
He pursed his lips, and then simply shook his head ever so slightly.
~~
That night, I wondered about Joren, the magic paper, and the Assassin Leila.
In my mind, it simply didn't make sense. Joren was as far away from the Order as the sky is to the earth. So, I couldn't fathom how he would even come to know of the dangerous being called Leila.
In fact, Leila wasn't even here because of a mission. It would make more sense if Joren had found out about Zepeherin rather than her...
Or maybe all of this doesn't have anything to do with the Order at all, and I'm just overthinking things again.
I let out a long groan, twisting and turning on my ever creaking bed.
Everything was confusing me, and I knew that if I grew tired of it, then I would have to force Joren to tell me everything he knew, even if it meant damaging our friendship.
But for now, I had to sleep. Perhaps I'll find out more about Joren's secret tomorrow. After all, tomorrow was a special day.