Chapter 40: Chunin Exams Arc - Invasion: Chapter 39

Title: Dreaming of Sunshine

Summary: Life as a ninja. It starts with confusion and terror and doesn't get any better from there. OC Self-insert.

Author's note: So, including the prologue, this makes 40 chapters. That's waaay longer than I ever thought this was ever going to be and we're not that far along, plot wise. The real question, therefore, is… do I keep updating under the same title, or eventually break off and have a sequel? It's still going to be the same story continuation, so I'm leaning towards keeping this one and just letting the chapter count build. What do you think?

And eh, I thought Kabuchimaru said something about the jutsu continuing even if he died, but everyone seems to think otherwise. My bad.

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Chapter 39

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Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys; look on them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death. ~ Sun Tzu

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The next day was miserably damp, with dark clouds covering the sky that threatened to drizzle rain at any moment.

It was perfect weather for a funeral.

I dressed in the heavy black cotton mourning clothes; black long sleeved shirt and black knee length skirt with black sandals. I even tied my hair with a black ribbon. It was a uniform, even more-so than the blues or flack jackets.

This one was mandatory. We were all the same in mourning.

The ceremony itself was held atop the roof of the Hokage's Tower, with the four stone faces of the Hokage staring down at us. I don't really know what I was expecting, but it was a simplistic affair.

We - the Rookie 9 - had been 'lucky' enough to be invited to the main ceremony, the memorial for the Third Hokage and all that died in the invasion. I don't know if it was because we were the most recent graduating class, or because we were all clan heirs and seconds, or because the Third had taken a liking to us. It could have been any of those reasons or all of them. Not everybody went to the main ceremony, though there were still an impressive number of shinobi there. We were arranged in military rows, two great blocks of black suited mourners that covered half the roof.

There was a square of white cloth spread out on the ground, two burning torches, and a long table, also draped in white. On the table, there were framed photographs displayed. The Third Hokage's was in pride of place in the centre, with three on either side. That couldn't be the total number of dead, so it was possible they were the high ranking ones - Jounin - or those that had otherwise distinguished themselves in this battle. In front of each of the photos there was a scroll with black edging - the death certificate - and a dull coloured book envelope that held either some sort of list of achievements or severance pay. There was a single incense pot in the centre of the table, though it was not lit.

All in all, it seemed very basic, even for someone as important as the Third Hokage. White was the colour of mourning as much as black was, and was supposed to drive off evil spirits. Incense to appease the good ones. I wasn't sure I believed in spirits, but there was a possibility, especially given how everything else seemed to work around here.

The great bells that had announced the end of battle just two days ago began tolling once again, loud peels announcing the beginning of the funeral.

"We are gathered here to remember and honour not only the Third Hokage," Homura Mitokado began, standing at the head of the lines of shinobi with the other elder, Koharu Utatane. "But all those who sacrificed themselves in this battle so our village would survive."

I stood as still and stiff as the rest of the shinobi. Grieving was done stoically here. You didn't cry or shed tears, you bore everything with a stone face. Shinobi rule twenty five wasn't just for missions or battlefield losses. It had wormed its way into the heart of society.

The only one to break the silence was Konohamaru. Undignified, maybe. Against social expectations, maybe. But he was only a child.

Iruka-sensei crouched down beside him, breaking decorum to try and comfort his student.

"It's raining," Kurenai-sensei murmured from the row behind us as rain started drizzling down. It wasn't heavy, but it was noticeable.

Asuma-sensei's voice was low and tired as he replied. "Even the heavens weep."

"… and even though we have suffered a loss, we have survived. We will keep on surviving. Our Will of Fire burns brightly and will continue to burn for as long as we keep fighting…"

I stared at the table with its proudly displayed photographs. The Third Hokage had died sealing the First and Second Hokage who had been brought back with the Impure World Resurrection Jutsu. Everyone had heard that story. He had summoned the Shinigami - the Death God - and forfeited his own soul in exchange.

I could not contest the presence of 'souls'. No, not that.

But… to be able to summon and bind a soul…

The beliefs of this place had that beyond the Impure World where we lived was the Pure World where souls resided after death.

I had never paid much attention to it because I knew that beyond death was reincarnation. But if that had been so… how had those souls been called back? Was it just an imprint? A memory of a soul? Had they been pulled from a new life and all those memories reawakened?

Or was the circle of reincarnation instead a spiral, with this world as the last?

Were there truly gods that judged those that died?

I shivered, feeling very cold.

What had seemed so certain, so proven, seemed less so the longer I looked at it.

I did not want to die, could not bear to lose everything ever again, but at least there had been a sense of certainty of what would happen. Fear was the domain of the unknown.

"Why do people do it? Why do they risk their lives for other people?" Naruto asked, voice hoarse, dragging my attention to him. He looked very bleak, even his normal sun bright hair washed out by the black.

"Well," Iruka-sensei said thoughtfully, his voice taking on a much softer version of his normal lecturing tone. "When someone passes away… it's the end. His past and future, all the dreams he once had… they disappear along with him. This is true even if he dies honourably in battle, as so many have. All the ties that bind him to the living are severed except for one, the most important of all. People. And these people, the ones left behind are joined together in a great circle with their shared memories of him. A circle of friendship, trust and sacrifice that grows larger and stronger as time passes. It's hard to explain it." He smiled, a little ruefully.

"So we do it because we have to. Sort of" Naruto said. "Still, I'm sad he's gone."

"Think how sad it would be if he died for nothing," Kakashi-sensei added softly. Sensei had been late, but he'd slid into the ranks with all the stealth of an ex-ANBU captain and no one had batted an eye. "But he left us something priceless. Don't worry. You'll understand one of these days."

"Hey, gimme some credit," Naruto said, a faint hint of a laugh in his voice. "That much I get."

And then the sun came out and started to shine.

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Sorry. Very short chapter I know. It's the obligatory funeral scene. I spent ages trying to work out just what the hell that was on the desk in front of the photos. Thus, above is my best guess according to Japanese funeral customs. …