Chapter 41: Tsukiyomi Arc: Chapter 40

Title: Dreaming of Sunshine

Summary: Life as a ninja. It starts with confusion and terror and doesn't get any better from there. OC Self-insert.

Author's note: So, massive storm and equally massive power cut. Losses, two walnut trees, the hay barn and my day. Seriously, I don't know what to do with myself when I have no computer.

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Chapter 40

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No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear. ~ Edmund Burke

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After a few more days of clean up duty and extra patrols, we were dropped back down to regular duties, though the Jounin were still caught up in excess meetings and decisions about the village. Naruto, Sasuke and I met up for training as usual, but Sensei never made it.

There was still reconstruction being done around the village, fixing roofs and rebuilding walls, but it was the more permanent kind of reconstruction that needed skills to do and therefore couldn't just be foisted off on the nearest ninja, though there was still plenty for us to do.

"There was a messenger hawk from Sand yesterday," I informed the boys when we arrived at the training fields. "They surrendered, unconditionally."

I was, naturally, the one keeping us updated with what was actually happening. Some of the information I got from Dad, some from Ino (aka gossip) and some from covert intelligence gathering around the village (aka listening in on other peoples conversations. What? If they didn't want people to hear then they wouldn't have been talking about it in public).

"Didn't they already do that?" Naruto asked with a frown, crossing his arms. "When they left?"

"That was a retreat," Sasuke corrected, mostly patiently. "They could have just regrouped and attacked again."

I nodded. "Yeah. Apparently, the body of the Kazekage was found and he'd been killed long before the Chunin Exams. Orochimaru had been impersonating him the whole time. Hidden Sand is scrambling to recover and find someone to run the place. They don't really have any other notable shinobi and the power structure was basically 'do what the Kazekage says'. So they really just rolled over for us."

Sasuke rubbed his neck absently. "That guy… he killed both the Hokage and the Kazekage?"

"Yeah," I said. "I don't know how it went down, but I'm betting it was some kind of ambush. It's possible Orochimaru even set the meeting up himself, since getting a Kage out of the village unnoticed is no easy feat. Of course, that means Sand can claim that it wasn't their policies that lead them to attack us and there's no proof that they were working with him."

"What does that mean?" Naruto asked, baffled. At least he was trying to follow the conversation.

"It means, Sand might have been working with Orochimaru willingly and been betrayed, or they might have just been attacked by him and then tricked. They're claiming the later, of course, since that's best for them," I replied. "There's even been mention that since he's a missing-nin from Konoha it's partially our fault."

"But is it true?" Naruto asked.

I shrugged. "Impossible to tell, really."

"So what's it mean for us?" Sasuke asked thoughtfully.

"Well," I said. "Unconditional surrender is the best possible outcome, really. It means there's not going to be any more fighting, like there could have been if they'd tried to insist on stipulations. They lost a lot more than us in the fighting, and they weren't very strong to start with so it's probably the best outcome for them too. I don't know what Konoha will demand from them, since we don't have a Hokage at the moment to finalise all the details. That means," I clarified for Naruto. "that it's up to either the Elders, the Jounin Committee or the Heads of Divisions to try and hash out the treaty. Possibly even the Daimyo since he's here for the selection of the next Hokage."

"They're choosing the next Hokage?" Naruto asked quietly, eyes turning to the Hokage Mountain. It probably seemed fast to him.

"Who do you think it will be?" Sasuke asked as well.

I bit my lip. Tsunade. That much I remembered. But I could hardly say that. "Jiraiya-sama, probably," I said, to which Naruto yelped and protested. "He's one of the Sannin, so he's strong and well known. The other Sannin, Tsunade, hasn't been seen in years, though to be fair, this is the first I've heard of Jiraiya being around, either. Hmm. Kakashi-sensei, maybe, though he doesn't seem like he'd want the job."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Really?" There was a mild tone of disbelief. Our chronically late and lazy Sensei could be in the running to be the next Hokage?

"Don't you remember what Zabuza said? About how they used to have kill on sight order for him? Kakashi-sensei is actually pretty famous," I said. "Other than that… Asuma-sensei maybe. He was one of the Twelve Guardian Ninja, so he'd have the Daimyo's ear at least." As well as being famous and being the Third's son, I mentally added. There was also Danzo, but no way was I bringing that option up. "My Dad, maybe, but he doesn't have that much of a combat reputation. Not compared to the others."

The Third Hokage… They had called him the God of Shinobi when he was younger. If he was, he wasn't the kind, forgiving god that his grandfatherly persona portrayed. He was Old Testament Style, burning hellfire and brimstone and the smiting of sinners. That was the kind of god shinobi would revere. The only kind they would respect.

A Kage needed to have that kind of reputation. They especially needed it after we had been weakened by attack and Hidden Cloud were just waiting for their chance to take advantage of it. While Sand, Rock and Mist were barely threats… Hidden Cloud had only grown stronger and they'd shown they weren't afraid to be impatient.

"That would be really weird," Naruto said, apparently still stuck on the 'Sensei as Hokage' thing.

I made a noise of affirmation.

"Speak of the devil," Sasuke muttered, as a messenger hawk flew overhead. "What does he want?"

I squinted at it, picking up the flight path and leg ribbons and translating that into information. "You, apparently." Briefly I wondered how on earth they trained the messenger birds, since it was absolutely nothing like homing pigeons. Maybe they were nin-birds.

"It was a rhetorical question," Sasuke said drolly, standing and dusting off his shorts. "I'll catch you later."

"Later," I said, waving. I dragged myself to my feet, too. "So, did you want to train?" I asked.

Naruto's stomach rumbled and he grinned sheepishly. "Ramen first? I ran into Konohamaru this morning and didn't have time to eat."

I rolled my eyes. "Lead the way," I said with a sigh. I wasn't hungry, but I could hardly deny Naruto breakfast even if he did insist on having ramen.

There was something niggling the back of my mind. The Fifth Hokage had been Tsunade. Assuming that that much hadn't changed, and she wasn't supposed to be in the village for some reason, that meant that someone had to go get her. That someone would probably be Jiraiya and I did vaguely remember something like that. He'd taken Naruto with him, hadn't he?

It had just been so long ago. The specifics were well and truly lost to me.

If Orochimaru had suffered the same kind of damage, or indeed any damage beyond Kabuto's ability to fix, then he would go after Tsunade as well. That seemed likely.

But there was something else…

My brow furrowed as I tried to work it out. There were no invasions beyond the first attack. There would be no dangerous missions until Naruto got back. Probably.

"Well, hey. I guess they were right. You really do eat ramen all the time," a familiar voice said, as someone ducked under the Ichiraku banner.

"Jiraiya-sama," I greeted, as Naruto spluttered around a mouth full of noodles. "How are you?"

"Busy," he replied cheerfully. "So many places to research, so little time to do it!"

"Don't talk about perverted stuff like that!" Naruto barked, nearly choking on his food. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

"Well, its funny you should ask that," Jiraiya said. "Because I'm about to go on a research trip and you are going to come with me." He poked a finger at Naruto, who swatted it away.

"No way! Why do I gotta go on some stupid research trip with you?" Naruto protested, annoyed.

"No, no. This isn't just a normal research trip," Jiraiya cajoled. "There's a woman I want to ask some questions, so we have to find her."

"I have no time to waste on your perverted stuff. I have to train." Naruto turned back to his noodles, effectively ignoring Jiraiya. The Sannin seemed only amused by it, so I kept out of the conversation. "I'm going to get Kakashi-sensei to teach me a lot. Like that Chidori move."

Actually, Naruto had asked Kakashi-sensei to teach him that. And, after a lot of prodding and whining, Kakashi-sensei had half-heartedly walked him through the steps. He couldn't do it, but the knowledge was there, and in theory the move was pretty straightforward. It was the 'in practice' bit that was difficult.

"I don't think you can master that move," Jiraiya said doubtfully. Which was fair enough, given that Naruto wasn't lightning natured and didn't the preternatural reflexes of the Sharingan. But telling him that never helped. "More importantly, the woman I was talking about is really hot. You want to see her, right?"

Naruto glowered. "Not at all. I'm not some little kid that can be convinced by a perverted hermit like you."

"Then I have no other choice. What a shame." Jiraiya sighed theatrically. "I know a technique that is more powerful than Chidori. I guess I'll have to take someone else with me. How about you? It's been a long time since I went on a trip with a pretty girl." He giggled.

Naruto was out of his seat in a flash, standing in front of me arms akimbo. "Don't even think about it," he barked. "You leave her alone!" Then he paused, the rest of the sentence registering. "A technique more powerful than Chidori?" he asked.

"That's right," Jiraiya agreed, leaning back. "But you didn't want to come with me, remember?"

"I changed my mind," Naruto decided. "Stay here. I gotta go pack." And he was gone, racing away to go get his gear.

I shook my head. "Hook, line and sinker." With a shinobi like Jiraiya, you were never going to win but to have it be so obvious was a little embarrassing.

Jiraiya chuckled. "Too easy," he agreed.

"So where are you off to?" I asked.

"Hmm? Oh, just to find an old friend, really. We haven't seen each other in a while." His attitude was perfectly laid back, the comment just the right shade of offhand. It screamed 'nothing important'.

"Tsunade, right?" I asked, playing my hunch. "And the question would be 'would you like a new hat'?"

He chuckled. "They always say never play cards with a Nara. Well. Any ninja really." He scratched his chin thoughtfully, as though pondering that piece of wisdom. It wasn't a 'yes', but more importantly, it wasn't a 'no'.

Okay, so Jiraiya and Naruto were going after Tsunade. But that still left a nagging feeling that I was missing something. I drummed my fingers on the table, beside my half eaten ramen, absently.

It was either Naruto or Sasuke. The world didn't revolve around them, no. It was a world with all that entailed. But everything I knew about it from Before did. The story had been about Naruto, about Sasuke, not about great political ramifications, not about mysteries or life, the universe and everything. It had been about a boy.

Why take Naruto with him anyway?

"Is Naruto… is he safe?" I asked, haltingly.

There was a flicker, something tiny that chased across Jiraiya's face. Almost too small to notice, and certainly too small to understand, but it was something. "Why wouldn't he be?" he replied with a jovial, booming laugh. "What a question!"

"Why wouldn't he be?" I echoed, looking away. Madara. Pein's group - whatever their name had been. But that had all been post time-skip, hadn't it? Unless…

Itachi was such a huge part of Sasuke's story that he had to have shown up at least once.

I hoped not. I really, really hoped not. This wasn't a story, not any more.

I had a sinking feeling that I was hoping in vain.

It was natural that memories faded. I had tried to hold on to the ones that were important, but they had been fading before I'd realised where I was - what I needed to keep. I didn't trust myself to write them down, not coded, not any how. Codes could be broken. And that would leave me in a lot of trouble with information that I shouldn't have had.

"So how are you going to find her, anyhow? If she's been off the map this long, I doubt it's going to be easy," I said, trying to get my mind off the possible outcome. Trying to use 'future knowledge' was so imprecise as to be nearly impossible, even without the extra difficulty of fading memories. How long between this event and that? Which order had these happened in? What caused that?

It was better to just gather as much information about the present as possible, the same as every other ninja did.

Jiraiya sighed. "Oh, alright. Yes, we're looking for Tsunade. And it wont be easy, you're right about that. She might be retired, but she knows how to hide. But Tsunade has one great, honking weakness."

I looked at him curiously.

"She loves to gamble." He chuckled. "It's almost compulsive. You can guarantee, wherever she is right now… there's a gambling hall."

"Follow the money, huh?" I murmured. It was one of the basic tenets of ninja investigations. Because most of the time, money meant a paper trail, even if it was fake.

"That's right. I figure, we'll start in Otafuku-Gai and work our way around depending on what we hear. Don't you go spreading that around now," he cautioned. His tone might have been light, but his eyes were serious.

I shook my head. "I won't."

Naruto should be, would be, safe with Jiraiya. It sucked to be so small and weak and have to depend on others to protect you, but it was what it was. We couldn't stand up to those levels of power, not yet. Trusting others to protect us for now was the only way we were going to get strong enough.

"So how are your seals coming along, huh?" Jiraiya asked.

I gracefully allowed the subject change, not about to pass up the chance to pick his brain on the topic of his mastery. There were so many seals that I wanted to create that were currently beyond my limits. Chakra stores to increase my reserves. Something to block the Sharingan, the Rinnegan. To block summons. To negate Time-Space techniques like that intangibility thing Madara had going. All well beyond my current limits, but if I started now maybe…

I waved Naruto and Jiraiya goodbye as they left, but the whole thing left me feeling unsettled.

Naruto will be safe with Jiraiya. He will be.

Jiraiya, for all his tomfoolery, was a legendary ninja for a reason. He had survived two Great Wars. He was S-ranked. He had over forty years experience as a ninja.

He wasn't someone you took on lightly.

Who was I kidding? I was as worried as hell.

I went back to the training field in the hope that Sasuke might have been there, but he wasn't. I ran myself through some kata, the familiar repetitions calming and distracting. I liked kata, the flow of one movement into another, the imaginary opponents that got beat down again and again, the stretch and burn of using fighting moves without the adrenaline spike of an actual fight.

I would probably never be a Taijutsu master, but it wasn't a skill I cared to neglect. Too many mid to long rangers died because the enemy got too close. And sometimes, you really just wanted to hit things.

It was about three when Sasuke came flying into the clearing, completely agitated. He slid to a stop, kicking up dust and dirt at the sudden deceleration. He'd been running at full speed, which was sort of frowned upon within Konoha proper.

"Where's Naruto?" he demanded.

"Sasuke? What-?"

"Itachi's here. He's after Naruto. We have to warn him. Where is he?" Sasuke bit out rapidly, each phrase like a bullet.

The meaning took a second to sink in. No.

"Itachi-! We have to get Kakashi-sensei!" We didn't stand a chance.

Sasuke looked like he wanted to shake me. "He's already attacked Kakashi. That's how I found out."

"The other sensei then," I floundered. "Gai-sensei-"

He did shake me this time, hands clenching on my shoulders. "They know! They know and they aren't doing anything! Either tell me or I'll find someone else who will!" He was actually shouting. It was so un-Sasuke like.

I swallowed. Sasuke was going to go regardless of what I did. Shit, shit, shit. "He's with Jiraiya-sama. They were headed for Otafuku-Gai."

Relief flashed across his face as he dropped me and dashed away. I blinked for half a second before I cursed, released my Weight Seal and ran after him.

"Sasuke," I said as I pulled up alongside him. "We don't stand a chance against him…"

"I know!" he snapped tersely. "We're not going to fight. We just have to warn Naruto."

Damn, damn, damnit all. We couldn't match an S-rank ninja for speed. But Naruto and Jiraiya wouldn't be moving quickly.

My fingers tunnelled into my weapons pouch, seeking out the small folds at the back. On another desperate race through the forests, I'd stashed soldier pills in there. I wasn't carrying my missions scroll today, but I still had those.

"Here," I said, passing one to him.

Sasuke glanced at it, then did a double take. He'd clearly been training, since his chakra level was low. "Thanks," he murmured, biting into it.

We poured on the speed.

Damnit all. I'd just thought about Itachi this morning. I should have… I should have planned something or known or … or…

Focus, I snapped at myself. Mission now; Pity party later.

I couldn't stop Sasuke. Not without attacking him and knocking him out and he would never forgive me. No matter how it worked out, he would never trust me again. I knew that much about Sasuke.

We couldn't take on Itachi. That much was obvious and I was grateful that Sasuke appeared to realise it too. I wasn't entirely sure it would hold up if we ran into the man himself, but at least he knew.

If you can't stop and can't go back, the only choice is to go on. The only option was to get to Jiraiya. To pass on the warning before they got there and attacked. Regardless of whether Jiraiya needed the warning or not, it was all we could do.

We bleed chakra for speed, pushing on at a punishing pace. It was a level of speed we couldn't have held long, but Otafuku-Gai wasn't that far away.

We hit the village at a run, screeching to a stop in the middle of the crowded road. There was some kind of festival on here, crowding the place with civilian level chakra signals.

"Where?" Sasuke panted, eyes darting around.

"I'm trying!" I snapped, casting my senses out for the bright sunshine of Naruto's chakra or the placid calm of Jiraiya's. "They aren't together!" I felt like cursing, like pulling my hair out. "I'll go for Naruto. Jiraiya is in that direction, somewhere. I can't get a lock on him." It was lucky I could sense him at all, frankly. "Tall, white haired, red haori. His forehead protector has the kanji for 'oil' on it. Find him. I'll get Naruto."

Sasuke wavered. "You know who he is. You'll have better luck finding him."

"Itachi will know who you are, Sasuke! If you go for Naruto -" I cut myself off. "I'm an unknown. Go! We're wasting time!"

I darted away, homing in on Naruto before he could protest. Damn, I was being far too snippy with him. But we were both strung out with worry and fear. Stupid, stupid, stupid…

I pulled my chakra in close, hiding it like it was the middle of the night and I was terrified of the monsters in my sleep. It wasn't midnight but I was terrified and the monsters were real.

I found the right hotel, and dashed up the stairs past the bewildered receptionist who didn't even have time to protest. Locating the right room was a little harder, but the place wasn't exactly a maze.

"Naruto!" I shouted, banging on the locked door. I could have broken it, but we weren't that pressed, yet.

He opened it, looking puzzled. "Shikako? Why are you here? Did something happen?"

"Yes," I said. "Where's Jiraiya?" Hoping against hope that he would actually know.

He blinked, face morphing into a disgusted look. "Out there. He found some lady." He 'harrumph'ed. "Left me here all alone."

I cast a glance down the hallway, out the window there. Wait or go? I couldn't sense any other ninja, but I didn't kid myself into thinking that I'd be able to sense Itachi if he was truly trying to hide.

Would we be safer inside or out?

"Listen. Itachi Uchiha is after you," I said. "You need to stick with Jiraiya. He's already hurt Kakashi-sensei."

"W-what?" Naruto stammered. "Kakashi-sensei is hurt? How?"

"I don't know," I said anxiously. "Look. Sasuke is out there looking for Jiraiya. We really need to get you to him."

Sasuke's chakra was zigzagging through the streets, desperate and hurried.

Stay or go? Stayorgo?

"Let's get outside, there's more space there," I said. Usually I liked enclosed spaces. It made me feel safe to be able to put my back to something solid. But right now all I felt was trapped. "Through the window." I nudged him back into the room.

If they were watching the front entrance, they might not see us leave through the window. "Remember Kakashi-sensei's escape and evasion lessons?" I asked.

Naruto glanced at me, at once confused and perceptive. "You're really scared."

"Yes." I didn't even try and deny it. "Let's go."

"I'll leave a clone," he decided. "If he expects me to be here…" Another Naruto popped into existence and flopped on the bed, while the real Naruto wiggled out the window.

"Good idea," I praised. It was good thinking. Something I should have thought of. I was letting my fear get to me.

The window was to the side of the building, and overlooked a small alleyway. We scampered up the side of the building, leaping agilely across the gap and onto the opposite rooftop. We kept low, crouching and slinking and trying not to draw attention. Given that there was no obvious threat, it would have felt silly except for the feeling of looming doom. Naruto must have felt it too, or at least felt like humouring me, because he was being quiet.

We headed in the general direction of Jiraiya and Sasuke. We crossed rooftops, dropping soundlessly to the ground in an alleyway, ready to blend into the mass of people on the road. For a ninja, other people were the best disguise.

For a moment, I really thought it was going to work.

Then, with a flicker of speed so fast I didn't even register it, a pair of feet was blocking our way. Slowly, resigned to what I knew I'd see, I looked up. Beside me, Naruto froze.

"Hello, Naruto."

Well, fuck.

Sometimes I wished I knew better curse words.

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So I'm not entirely happy with this chapter - isn't that always the case? - but here it is anyway.