Handsome Pervert

No one will look at the past where she was such a good girl, who did everything for her man. But no one tried to find out just one wrong thing by her, and she got hatred while she had done uncountable good doings for others.

People don't fall instantly for someone or like them but hate; it was so unique, just one thing and lots of hate. Hatred for just one doing is always greater than the love for a thousand doing.

Empress dowager sighed, she felt pity for the child,"Wan Xieren, you are a good child, don't hold on to the past anymore, take this as your new beginning." She tried to make her feel better.

Chen Juan looked up at her, on hearing her out; amazed by what she said. At first, she was about to question her. How did she know about her thinking about Zheng Yuhan? But then she remembered she was not Chen Juan anymore, she was Wan Xieren, she wanted to laugh at herself.

How can be so dumb? She was not anymore her herself, she was not her. From the body, to her character, to her personality, to her life. It was someone else.

What's the use to be living like someone else, when she was not herself. She was lost, lost in an unknown world. She felt strangled thinking she will never be able to find her way back.

"I'm sorry, I am not feeling well suddenly. I will leave you guys." Chen Juan commented, before running out, somehow holding her tears. She didn't want to break apart in front of them.

She ran towards the room, her maid saw her,"Young miss, what's wrong?" She asked her, seeing her coming out of the room, wailing.

Chen Juan was not in her right mind, she didn't reply to her question, she actually didn't even hear the question. She was so lost in her world.

She was trying to find her lost self, she changed herself to Wan Xieren but where is Chen Juan, the real Chen Juan. She can't find herself in herself, or in Wan Xieren's self. Yes, she got one more chance to live in the body of Wan Xieren but was she there as Wan Xieren not herself. What's the use of a second life if you have to hide yourself, and live like it for her whole life then what will she do? Continue her act and stay silent and graceful. What about her being free, will she be free again. And most of all she will see him again, feel his warmth and love for her, she will be here like her, a girl who didn't get the love of her life.

Wan Xieren, closed her room door and sat down on the floor, wailing out all her fears, thoughts, uneasiness.

Why she? Wasn't it better to die than living the other half of her life like Wan Xieren, away from her family and her Zheng Yuhan.

"Yuhan," she cried out his name, as he flashed in front of her. His warm and gentle smile, enough to make anyone crazy for him.

His dark brown eyes, which glisten like stars in the night sky, Zhen Yuhan,if she goes for how he is; what was his good quality, the list will be never ending.

Even though their meeting was one of the eccentric one, she laughed remembering how they met. So many good memories of their, so many things, so many years together.

Will he really forget her when she goes back?

"No, he will not, right?" She questioned herself, she didn't know herself. Her heart says he will wait for her but her brain says no he will not.

She forwarded to touch her hallucination of Zheng Yuhan, but as she tried it disappeared into thin air. She looked around, to find him.

"Yuhan, you are here, right? You are just playing with me, right?" Chen Juan said, as tears flowed down her eyes.

She got up, and started searching for him, she didn't want to believe he was not there. He was not there.

She repeated in her mind, he was there, playing around with him. She searched for him restlessly, in her restlessness she made a mess of her book.

But she can't find him, she plopped down on the floor, holding her hairs, tearing apart.

"Yuh.. Yuhan.." she sobbed as she again called his name, hoping he would come to her and surprise him, as he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her on the cheeks to comfort her.

But she realized after crying for hours, that he was not there, if he was there would be able to see her crying like that. He was not like that.

She laughed at herself, what was she even doing, she had sure gone crazy.

She laid her head on the bed as she closed her eyes, resting her arm over her eyes, tears still rolled down.

Memories are more painful than anything else, they keep making you remember the past, no matter how much you want to hide it.

***

Seven years ago…

Chen Juan enrolled in the most prestigious medical school in the country. She was ready to start a new page in her life. She was excited and nervous at the same time.

She took a deep breath before entering the campus. She walked on the road, looking at the campus.

Just then someone hit her shoulder, about to knock her down, in intuition she caught someone's hands, and pulled him down with her.

They both fell down on the ground, while the guy ended up kissing him on her lips when he fell upon her.

Chen Juan eye's got bigger in surprise, her first kiss was taken by a stranger. She can't believe she lost her first, her very first kiss to some stranger instead of her love.

She was so pissed that pushed the guy away, in one go. She got up and look up at the guy who was still on the ground.

Her jaw dropped when she finally saw him, he was handsome like an actor from the movie. She can't took her eyes off from him.

Intially, she planned to scolded him for what he did but her heart gave up the idea after seeing his handsome face, how can she scold such a handsome pervert.