Disgrace

"You said you wouldn't post it."

Claire sat down in her room and sheepishly smiled. "I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal if I posted it in on my other social media... I didn't think anyone would know him there."

There's been many times in my life where I've been angry with Claire but this was the first time I've ever felt compelled to physically slap some sense into her head. The only thing stopping me was the presence of Izanagi. 

Instead, these words escaped me. "Why...why must you always be so selfish?!"

She looked up to me in shock with parted lips. "...What?"

I held everything else I wanted to say back and turned to address a quiet Izanagi. "Um, I'm so sorry about this."

He blinked and scratched his neck awkwardly before finally flashing an uncertain smile. "To be honest... I won't really be the one affected by it. If anything the two of you might get some hate... but it'll probably be fine... probably."

I could already see imaginary comments screaming for me to go back to Africa and that he belonged to them. Thankfully I didn't have much of a social media presence for various reasons. But I was more bothered by the fact that she had still broken his trust, as my cousin, I felt responsible. 

My phone rang. It was Kagami. This was the first time he was calling me.

"Hey, is it fine for you to talk?"

"Mmm. What are you doing?"

A twinge of guilt affected me. "Ah, er... you called to talk to him right?"

I quickly handed Izanagi my phone to escape to the kitchen.

The shame made me not even want to hear their conversation.

"Er..." Izanagi left Claire alone in the living room to stand and talk in the hallway. I wish he didn't stand in plain sight. I felt like a kid who was getting ratted out on.

-

He arrived at midnight. Must've been fresh off the bus because he came with his luggage.

"Kagami?"

"Hey." His smile was off. "Long time no see..."

I reached for his suitcase only to get pulled into a hug.

Ah, should I have done that first? I patted him back and let him be for thirty seconds before speaking my mind. "You smell like cigarettes." It bothered me.

"Ah, our manager was smoking near me."

"I see..." Inconsiderate ass. Kagami's still a minor!

"Mom's still gone, so I thought I'd crash here. It's fine right?"

"Yeah..." My Mom hadn't been back for some time, she texted me she would be away for a while but I saw pictures of her and Step-Father-san at some fancy hotel on her Instantgram. I suspected they had gone to hang out with each other privately and left it at that, grateful I didn't have to be subjected to their public displays of affection.

As I helped him with his luggage, Izanagi came from downstairs.

"Who is it?" He froze at the sight of Kagami. "Ah!"

I was surprised Izanagi stuck around after the incident with Claire, when he cooped himself up in the spare guest room, I even forgot about him, seeing him now left me speechless and spooked.

Thankfully neither noticed as all they could see in that moment were each other.

Kagami and Izanagi's following exchange was something hard to describe. Like they held each other's hands as if they were going to arm wrestle but pulled each other into a side hug and patted each other's sides then separated and did something weird hand-slapping, fist bump sequence. I had seen many different kinds of secret handshakes back in America, and every time it seemed magical. How do they remember all the steps?

"Did you eat already?"

It was as if Kagami remembered me then.

"Ah, no."

I turned to go make something.

The sound of their conversation proceeded towards the little inner courtyard where we had the waffles last time he was around. He seemed happy. Suddenly different. Like he had brightened up in both soul and mood.

When I came out with the food, both fell silent and even looked a little melancholic.

I made a big plate for them to share.

"Since you didn't eat anything for dinner either."

Because he didn't come down.

"Ahhh, thank you."

I apologized to him again in my head but didn't linger.

"Eh, where are you going?" Kagami patted the seat next to him.

"Er... that's fine. You two have a lot to talk about right?"

"I also want to talk to you though."

"Uhhhh...." I glanced at Izanagi, can't helping the awkwardness about this. 

Izanagi mustered a smile. "Well. Don't mind me."

But if he says that I just feel even worse.

Kagami caught the exchange.

"Did something happen?"

He didn't tell him yet? What were they talking about from that time until now?

". . ." Since Izanagi was silent, I sat down and told him.

"Ah..." Kagami nodded. "I saw it. The video."

"Were the comments really bad?"

"Well...some people think it's someone pretending to be you while others think it is you but a lot of people were divided on the matter."

Izanagi's shoulders relaxed but he pretended to be unbothered by leaning back in his chair, hugging his knee.

"Why? Did your label yell at you?"

He chuckled and donned a mysterious small smile. "... ... They said they would monitor the issue."

My guilt deepened. Kagami patted my balled fist under the table startling me.

"Don't blame yourself too much." He told me. "Claire...must be asleep huh?"

I shrugged. "Probably ..."

The air between me and her had become slightly awkward after Izanagi left and never came back down. I didn't explain that we also had a bit of a stand-off after she confronted me on what I said earlier.

"So..." Izanagi's eyes flicked between me and Kagami but he didn't say anything else.

". . ." I looked to Kagami sensing something was amiss.

He had an eyebrow raised.

When I looked back Izanagi was doing something weird with his face. I pursed my lips and stood.

"Our guest rooms are limited. You guys don't mind sharing a room do you?"

"No." The notion made both boys brighten. "Cool, it'll be just like old times!"

As they shared their excitement, I took the empty plate and left.

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