Your Pants Bother Me, Take Them Off

[Disclaimer: If you're eating or drinking something right now, please, put it down, NOW. Trust me, it is beneficial to your health if you take this warning to heart.]

"I guess the two of them should be getting intimate right about now," Alice said as she twirled the wine inside her wine glass. She was gazing at the moon from her balcony wearing only a one piece night dress.

"You shouldn't stay long outside dressed like that, It's cold," Aiden commented as he gently covered her shoulders with a bathrobe.

"It's fine," Alice replied. "The cold doesn't bother me anyway."

Aiden wanted to retort, but he knew that it was a bad idea. He stood two steps behind Alice to give her some space. She was only two steps away from him, but the elf felt that the distance between the two of them was too far for him to reach out his hand and touch her.

"What's wrong?" Alice asked. She turned her head and looked straight at him with a smile on her face.

"Nothing," Aiden answered as he lowered his head. He really envied Alex. Although the little hero wouldn't remember anything when morning came, he still was able to bridge the gap that Aiden hadn't managed manage to cross.

In fact, Aiden was very willing to take the youth potion and spend some time with Alice. The only regret he had was that he would not have any recollection of what happened when the potion lost its effects.

Alice turned her head to look at the stars in the sky. It was that moment that Aiden raised his head to look at the beautiful lady in front of him. In truth, there was another reason why he didn't want to take the youth potion. The reason? He was afraid.

He was afraid that even if he reverted to his younger self, Alice would remain indifferent and ignore him. That was a blow that he would be unable to take. Although he wouldn't have any memory of what happened, he was still afraid to take that chance.

The possibility of failure made him feel helpless. Although he was a very powerful hero, he felt powerless in front of the girl whom he held dearly in his heart. He silently watched Alice as she continued to gaze at the heavens.

"Aiden, are you happy right now?" Alice asked without turning her head to look at him.

Aiden crossed his arms over his chest and acted in his usual manner. "Do you want an honest answer?"

"I want an honest answer," Alice said in a teasing voice.

Aiden's lips became a thin line. He seriously pondered the answer to this question. Was he happy? The answer was No. How could he possibly be happy when the girl he liked treated him like an acquaintance? Like a business partner? Still he had to give her an answer. The reason? Because she asked.

"Yes, I am happy," Aiden answered without changing the expression on his face.

"...Is that so?"

"Yes."

Alice sighed and drank the wine on her glass and headed back inside the room. She handed the wine glass to Aiden as she walked past him. Aiden held the glass firmly in his hand as Alice went to the bedroom. It had been an exhausting day for her and she needed to rest.

She had done everything in her power and it was up to Alex to wrap things up. Aiden stood still in the balcony holding the wine glass in his hand. He slowly raised it towards his lips and kissed the part where Alice drank.

This was the most intimate thing that he shared with Alice at the moment. He knew that the one who needed to take that first step was him and not Alice. The man who was once hailed as the most handsome man under the heavens sighed that night.

"What's the use of having good looks when the one you love doesn't even care?" Aiden muttered under his breath. "By the Goddess, this girl is going to be the bane of my existence."

-----

Inside Abbie and Alex's VIP room…

Abbie's gown and Alex's shirt lay on the carpeted floor. The two of them were lying in bed. They had just shared a passionate kiss and were in each other's embrace.

"Abbie…"

"Yes?"

"What should we name our kids?"

"You still haven't done the deed and you're already asking about the names of our future babies?" Abbie giggled as she pinched Alex's cheeks. 'You better start swinging those hips first yo~'

"What do you mean?" Alex asked with a surprised expression. "Aren't you already pregnant?"

"Excuse me?" Abbie replied in a dumbfounded manner. 'Since when did I get pregnant? You haven't even done anything yet!'

Alex poked Abbie's nose lovingly, "I mean, shouldn't you already be pregnant? I've been 'doing it' since a few minutes ago."

"A few minutes ago?" Abbie asked back. "Hello? A few minutes ago I was still wearing my dress?"

When did this baby making session happen? How did it happen?! Why didn't I feel anything?! I'm still a virgin!

Abbie had a million questions in her head as she stared at the frowning Alex on top of her. Alex seemed to be genuinely surprised at Abbie's reply to his question.

'Was it not enough?' Alex wondered. "Fine, you win, Abbie. It seems that I need to get serious in order for you to give birth to my child."

'Come at me, bro!' Abbie screamed internally as Alex lowered his head to give her a deep and passionate kiss.

One minute later, Alex gasped for breath as he released Abbie's lips. The chubby girl was also panting for breath. She never thought that Alex was such a good kisser.

"Now, are you pregnant?"

"..."

The gears inside Abbie's head started to turn as she realized the problem at hand. She felt that it was a ridiculous thought, but Alex's action could only be explained if you use that logic.

"A-Alex, could it be…"

"Was it still not enough?"

Alex was about to kiss her again when Abbie used her hand to block his lips. "Wait! Let's talk first. Talk first, kiss later, ok?"

"Alright." Alex nodded his head.

"Alex, be honest," Abbie said while doing her best to keep a straight face. "You thought that I would get pregnant because of your kiss?"

"Isn't that how babies are made?" Alex asked as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "Girls get pregnant when they are kissed on the lips right?"

'...Bruh'

Abbie covered her face with a hand. Her guess was right. Alex didn't know how babies were made! She wasn't able to stop the hollow laugh that escaped her lips as she gazed at the man who was dead set in impregnating her with a kiss.

"Who told you that girls get pregnant when they are kissed?"

"Mama Sophie."

'Come out here, Mama Sophie! This lady has a grudge to settle with you!' Abbie cursed Alex's Mama Sophie in her heart. 'What day and age is this?! How could you tell children that girls get pregnant when they are kissed?! Why not just go ahead and teach Alex that girls get pregnant when they hold a boys hand?!"

Abbie felt that she needed to educate her future hubby on how to make love with girls. Although she was a virgin, she was still more knowledgeable than the innocent Alex when it came to Physical Education!

There was a famous saying "You can burn calories if you rock someone's world!" Since doing it with Alex would be the same as burning calories, wouldn't this be a win-win situation for everyone?

"Abbie? Hey, Abbie?" Alex asked. His beloved was looking at him in a dazed manner and he thought that she was about to fall asleep. Little did he know that Abbie was busy formulating a plan on how to teach her innocent hubby the right way on how to make love to her.

"Alex."

"Yes?"

"Your pants bother me, take them off," Abbie commanded.

The soft rustle of clothes were heard inside the room as Alex's pants slowly fell onto the carpeted floor. A blush appeared on Abbie's face when she saw Alex's lean and toned body in its full glory. She steadied herself and tried to calm her wildly beating heart as she gestured for him to come closer.

"Come, Alex. This lady here will teach you how to make babies."