Myr The Matchmaker

*Ding*

'...huh?'

'...Help what? Can you like, go away for a couple more hours? I want to sleep more with my wife...'

*Ding*

'Fuck off...' *zzzz*

*Ding* *Ding* *Ding*

'HOLY FUCK FINE! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?! THIS HAD BETTER BE REALLY DAMN IMPORTANT!'

"Myr...? I can feel you becoming extremely stressed. What's wrong?" Chloe asked sleepily.

"Nothing much dear, just some help request from another powerful god that didn't get the memo that I wanted to sleep more..."

"Hmm, perhaps I should come with you then. If it's a male, I'll chop his malehood off and he'll become a eneuch. If it's a female, then I'll just make her bleed out."

*Ding*

"Hmm? Ah, I think that would be a lovely thing for you to come along with Chloe. I'll get to show you the ropes of being a goddess."

Chloe giggled, knowing full well that Myr was about to ruin someone's day, as was she, not because she woke up, but because her beloved Myr got woken up when she didn't want to be.

Nodding her head, Myr snaps her fingers, as does Chloe, and they both instantly change to their adventurer attire as Myr selects the "Help" option in her system and is teleported to what appears to be a cavern that was intricately designed, decorated, and filled with furniture.

A tall, handsome man that appeared to be in his 30's with a dragon's tail, horns, and wings with red scales, walks out to see Myr and... the one female who he begged Myr not to bring.

The god, who was silently cursing his system, gave a forced smile. "Ah, thank you for coming to help me. You see, I'm in a bit of a pinch right now. Now before you go all crazy and kill me, please understand that the system I had designed for myself didn't tell me you were sleeping, so I kept sending help requests. I'm deeply sorry for my error." the god said as he did a dogeza.

Sighing, Myr waved her hands and asked "So, who might you be, and what could you possibly need help with as a tier 6 existence?"

The man got up and rubbed the back of his head and replied "I've just been called "Red" all my life, so I think my name is Red, though I can't be quite sure. All I know is that a poet took a liking to me and now she won't stop pestering me to go on a date with her. The problem is, well, I don't know what a date is..."

Myr and Chloe stared blankly at Red in front of them as if he was the dumbest thing in existence.

"What sort of a rock have you been living in to not know what a date is...?" Chloe asked in a scathing tone.

Red looked confused. "Um, this one?"

Myr snorted. "A date is when you dress up really nice and spend time with someone. Talking, chatting, going out to eat, eating them out, stuff like that."

Red misunderstood Myr's innuendo and looked horrified. "Why would I eat her?! She's more powerful than I am! I would get beaten to a pulp!"

Raising her left eyebrow, Myr asked "You're really new to the dating scene aren't you? If she really likes you that bad that she'd overstep her bounds and alter the fate of a tier 6 god such as yourself, then she more than just likes you, she's infatuated with you. Are you by any chance in the search of a mate? I heard that dragons have strong and immensely potent libidos."

Red nodded his head yes and he quietly said "I've been looking for a mate for over 5,000 years, and no matter what, I couldn't find one. About 10,000 years ago, my best friend, Draco, left to head off somewhere and never came back. I had to artificially hatch his and his wife's egg, whom I knew nothing about him having a wife, and had to send their daughter down to a planet called "Earth". She's not doing too well down there though. Anyways, Draco prophesized that an insanely powerful cat demi-human goddess would be able to help me find a mate. At the time, I couldn't even imagine anyone more powerful than Draco, but now I see that you'd easily be able to slap him around like it's nothing. Draco was a tier 8 entity, but you're easily on par with tier 10 entities. So, do you think you could help me?"

Myr sighed and nodded her head. "Yeah, of course I can help you, but what do I get out of it? Because if it's treasures, I don't need nor want them. You have no abilities that I'd want either. So, what can you give me in exchange for my help?"

Red thought for a moment. Finally coming up with an idea. "I could offer you a spot in Auction House. It's an insanely hard to get into place where gods and goddesses can put up abilities, minions, spells, grimoires, anything really, where they can be purchased by using Divine Crystals. There's 5 grades, Low, Mid, High, Supreme, and Heavenly. Divine Crystals can be used to increase someone's strength exponentially, though for beings such as yourself, you would need an absolutely insane amount to increase your strength, though I'm sure you have more than enough items to be put into the auction for a chunk of crystals. I never go there, mainly because, well, I'm a dragon, and I like to hoard my treasures."

This peaked Myr's interest. Mulling on the thought, Myr finally agreed. "Sure, that seems fair to me. I got a lot of stuff I need to get rid of anyways. Alright, so what does she look like?"

Red showed Myr a picture of the Poet and the first thing notices is the woman's chest. Raising her eyebrow, Myr asked "Are those things natural, or did she literally alter her own fate to have a chest that big? That can't be healthy, even for a goddess."

Red blushed and quietly said "She told me that the only way for her chest to get smaller is to marry and have children with a god that's tier 6 or above, and for some reason, she chose me, but I'm horrible at socializing, so I'm not sure what she sees in me."

Sighing again, Myr looks at Chloe, who nods and snaps her fingers. A wardrobe appears as Myr types in a few preferences to look for an outfit that would make Red look approachable, handsome, and sexy at the same time.

Finally, Myr finds an outfit that would suit Red's look. A red two piece suit with slits for his tail and wings, a white undershirt with a black tie, red dress shoes, and red gloves that only went up to the edge of his palm, yet would stay on like they were glued in place unless he willingly takes them off.

Myr also includes a red fedora with black lining, and a case of cigars. Showing the outfit to Red, his eyes widened as he was shocked that such an amazing looking outfit could exist. Nodding at Myr, there was a new glimmer in his eyes, one that surprised Myr and Chloe.

Pushing the "Enter" key on the holographic keyboard, the wardrobe dispenses the outfit in pristine condition. Motioning for Red to take off his clothes, he became embarrassed and shyly took off his shirt and pants.

Noticing how defined his muscles were, Myr raised her eyebrows and she made a slight adjustment to his outfit. Snapping her fingers, Myr instantly put the outfit onto Red and made it so the white undershirt was translucent to show off Red's ridiculous 8 pack.

Myr made it so Red's suit would have an opening near the bottom so people could catch a glimpse of his 8 pack, kind of like a teaser trailer for a movie. Nodding her head, Myr makes a mirror out of nanomachines and turns it to face Red.

Looking into the mirror, Red is astonished that he could ever possible look this good. Doing a few poses Myr told him to make, she nodded her head at how good he looked, and even Chloe smiled, happy that Red now seemed worlds more confident.

He suddenly hugged Myr and said "Thank you so much, Myr and Chloe, this means the world to me. If you ever need my help for anything, let me know, I'll do my best. Now there's just one problem left... I don't know where she lives in the divine realm..."

This got Myr and Chloe to both laugh, while Red blushed a little bit and quietly muttered "Don't laugh at me, I never even asked her where she lived, though now I'm confident I can win her over."

========

Myr teleported herself, Chloe, and Red to the front of the Poet's property. She found out in her search that the Poet's name was "Estarte", and was quite the looker.

A guard near the gates saw them teleport there and instantly drew his weapon, as he knew only beings of tier 7 or above could directly breach through all of the protective measures the property had.

The guard looks at Red and notices him to be the one that his boss, Poet Estarte, had taking an extreme liking to, and although he didn't swing that way, even he thought that Red looked incredibly handsome.

He then looked towards Chloe and didn't recognize her, but could sense that she was only tier 4, which didn't worry him at all.

Then he looked at Myr, and then remembered the stories about a new tier 7 entity that had the strength to match the few tier 10's that were known and not asleep. Matching the images he saw in the auction house to the goddess in front of him, his face pales and he drops his weapon in a panic and performs a dogeza.

"Great Goddess Myr, forgive me for my insolence! I didn't realize it was you!" the guard shouted while still in the dogeza. Raising her left eyebrow, Myr asked "Am I well known around here? I've never been to this realm before, so how the hell do you know my name? Start talking, or you can kiss your life and soul goodbye. I hate being spied on, and I'll kill anyone who I deem a threat to my family's safety."

The guard pales an even whiter shade and shakily stands up and says "E-Everyone in the Divine Realm knows about you. The most people know is that you're a tier 7 entity that can evenly match and possibly defeat a tier 10 entity. They also know that you have a family, but the existing tier 9 and tier 10 entities that still bother to deal with politics have forbade anyone from going down to your world and making contact with you. They would kill whoever even attempted to do so, as they're all afraid of incurring your wrath. I swear upon the supreme ones of old that what I said is the clear truth, the honest truth, and nothing but the truth."

Black lightning and thunder sounded out and flashed above the guard's head, and when nothing else happened, Myr knew that he was telling the truth, or rather, the truth that he knew about.

Nodding her head, Myr waved her hand dismissively. "Fine fine, I won't hurt you. You had better let your boss know that Red's here, because I can feel her sensory perception washing over you, trying to decipher why you would take an oath that would 100 percent erase you from space and time if you were to lie about anything."

The guard nodded and motioned for them to follow him inside. Once at the door, Myr saw two other guards, who seemed a bit older and more experienced, and when they saw Myr, they both paled and hastily made way so the first guard could open the doors himself, not wanting any misfortune to fall upon them.

The first guard was about to open the door when he felt Myr's hand on his shoulder. Stressed, almost the point of crying, the first guard asked "Great Goddess Myr, is something the matter?"

Myr nodded her head. "Yes, there is something the matter, and I'm quite annoyed by it. Judging from your posture, tone, and the way your aura is fluctuating when you approached these two fellows here, I'd say that you're rather new to this, are you not?"

The guard nodded his head and said "Yes, you're absolutely right. I started working here about 50 years ago. Why do you ask?"

Myr snorted and pulled him away from the door. Glaring at the two guards who stepped aside, Myr sternly said "I get that you don't want to offend someone who could quite literally erase this entire property, but don't forget that you're this boy's seniors. It falls on you to show him the ropes. Now quit being spineless cowards, open the damn doors, and do your fucking jobs."

The two guards quickly nodded and opened the doors gracefully, but with haste. Walking on through, they were met with the sight of a very fancily decorated interior, with white marble, statues, paintings that somehow moved and exuded a divine aura, and plants that Myr guessed to be exotic.

'Perks of being a tier 7 entity, and a poet of all things. A bit too posh for my taste, but eh, this isn't my house so I really don't give a shit.' Myr thought with a snort.

The guard led the three of them up to the innermost room on the top floor, and both Myr and Chloe could smell the scent of perfume, which made both of them gag a bit.

Knocking on the door, a very soft voice called out from the inside. "Is there something you need to report Jord? Also, care to explain to me why you took the Black Oath?"

Jord, the guard, hurriedly explained, "Master Estarte, the one who you've taken a liking to has arrived and I have brought him up. Also, I took the oath because Great Goddess Myr is standing right behind me and I don't want to die just yet."

Dead silence descended, and just then, the sound of soft footsteps could be heard as the door opened and Estarte herself opened the door to see Red, and potentially the most powerful entity in the entire Divine Realm, Myr, standing outside her door.

Though she was quite scared of offending Myr, Estarte took on a brave and relaxed front as she smiled at Myr and curtsied and was about to greet her when Myr cut her off.

"It's not me you should greet first, the male who you've taken a liking to is supposed to be first. I don't give a fuck about formalities. If you're afraid of annoying me, then don't do so by failing to greet the person you care about more first."

Sighing in relief, Estarte got a good look at Red, and it was safe to say that if she loved Red before, then now, she craved him. Just seeing him in the suit was enough to make her feel butterflies in her stomach, but seeing the teasing glimpse of his 8 pack caused her to genuinely blush for the first time since she came to be.

Slowly walking up to him, Estarte stopped when she was right beside Red.

"Hello there Red. I've been waiting to meet you for quite some time. Care to join me for lunch?"

Red nodded and grinned. "Of course. Which male wouldn't want to eat alongside a beauty such as yourself? They'd have to be insane and have no taste to refuse such an offer."

Estarte's eyes widened as she gave him a bright, beaming smile. "Mn, lunch it is then. Care to join us, Great Goddess Myr?"

Myr waved her hand and said "I don't need lunch. I think I'm gonna go exploring this Divine Realm. Supposedly it's at least several quintillion times larger than my own realm, so I'm excited to see what this place has to offer. First though, Red here decided to give me his position at the auction, and he's already signed it over to me. I hope that's okay?"

Estarte paled and worriedly asked Myr, "Are you sure you're going to be okay? I know you're insanely strong, but the Auction House isn't to be taken lightly, even by someone of your caliber. You must be careful in there, the place is cutthroat in the most literal sense of the term."

Myr snorted. "Call me arrogant, but I solidly believe that there's nothing in there that can even scratch me. However, the same can't be said about my wife, but I'm going to ask you two to do something for me. Spread the word that I'll soak this realm in blood if anyone tries anything against my wife. Spread the word that I'll be stacking bodies in the Auction House if someone tries to harm her. If you can do that for me, I can promise you my protection, deal?"

Red and Estarte look at eachother and both nod at the same time. Seeing that they agreed, Myr grinned and waved goodbye to them both as she teleported Chloe and herself directly in front of the Auction House.