3

3. Confusing encounter

The next morning, I went to breakfast with Hermione who would not stop speaking about classes and things she had already learned. If I ignored her know-it-all-side she could be very nice. Harry and Ron managed funnily to lose their way to transfiguration class. Professor McGonagall wasn't happy at all and when she asked if they wouldn't again if she transformed one of them into a map I had to suppress a laugh, but couldn't prevent snickering.

"Is there anything amusing, Miss Jackson?" Professor McGonagall turned in my direction.

"Emm…no…" I tried hard to stop laughing but wasn't successful. I could feel Draco's smirk; I knew that boy to well.

"Sit down you two." She said to Harry and Ron who quickly took their seats. Then she faced me with a stern look which didn't help me at all. I couldn't help it anymore and burst out laughing. At the latest now, I got the attention from everybody in the classroom.

"Miss Jackson, I suggest you go either outside and come back if you have calmed down or you control yourself. You are in a classroom! Don't behave like an uncontrolled baboon."

"I'm sorry professor! I… I really am, but your comments are hilarious. I mean…" I couldn't stop laughing and tears streamed already down my face.

"That is enough Miss Jackson. Go outside and wait until you have calmed down. You can call yourself happy that I don't give you a detention as it is your first day. "

I was still snickering pretty hard and could barely speak. "I… Thank you… professor…"

I gave up and staggered outside, shaking with laugher. The sound of the slamming door behind me resounded in the corridor. I leaned against the wall and slide down until I sat on the floor still shaking slightly. After a moment I calmed down and groaned, holding my head with my hands.

Wow, now I'm already known as a crazy student who can't control herself. Well done Aryanna, well done! You made a good impression on your first day.

Suddenly I sensed that someone was coming and looked up. Around the corner turned a certain professor with raven black hair and his blowing black cloak. When he saw me sitting on the floor against the wall he stopped dead in his steps and stared right in my eyes. His face showed no emotions. I was shocked and stopped thinking. My whole body was rigid and I just stared at him. Realizing that he had acted un-Snape-like he frowned at me and turned round the corner he had come from.

I just sat there, still looking at where he had disappeared. I couldn't think clearly and felt no emotions at all. Abruptly, I heard the door banging against the wall and jumped.

"McGonagall said that I should…" Draco said looking for me in the corridor. When he found me behind the door he closed it again and looked at me with worry.

"Arya are you alright? You're pale like a ghost!" He crouched in front of me until he was at eye level. I refused to look at him and stared at his feet. I felt a warm thumb lifting my hand softly and was forced to look in his grey-blue eyes.

"What happened? I know that you are not in this state 'cause of McGonagall. You wouldn't let her making you down. So what is it?" I turned my head when I felt tears prickling my eyes. He did not miss it.

"I… He was right there. He turned round the corner and… and he just stared at me and then he turned around and walked away. I had thought that I would feel angry or betrayed or-"

"Who are you- …You mean Snape?"

"Yes" I whispered.

He took my hands and lifted me on my feet. When I felt his hands taking me in an embrace I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. The confusion took over me and made me feel lost and empty. I didn't know what to think. He had abandoned me but was shocked seeing me. That made no sense at all. I felt anger coming and pushed Draco away. He just looked at me when I started pacing. I will have to face him again in potions after transfiguration. Time that you control yourself Arya. You can't let him go to you. Don't let him take control over you. You are strong and can go to this bloody school without him disturbing your thoughts.

I persuaded myself that it was the best if I just acted like this had never happened. I was angry and determined to show it. I would make his lessons hell and treat him like he deserved it. Starched with my decision I wiped away my few tears and turned to Draco.

"Let's go back inside before we get detention."

"You're really alright?

"More than ever" I grinned at him whilst he looked doubtfully at me.

I ignored it and opened the door to the classroom. We sat down and Professor McGonagall gave me a strange look as if she knew something wasn't right at all but didn't ask.

At the start-of-term banquet Harry had got the idea that Professor Snape disliked him. I can't deny that, but neither that he seemed to hate me more by the end of the lesson.

Potions lessons took place down in one of the dungeons. The other students got cold therefore they wrapped their cloaks tightly around them. I on the contrary felt nothing except a rising fear of facing Severus properly the first time. When we entered the classroom I was close-by panic but relaxed a little because our teacher wasn't there. I had liked to sit with Draco but the hatred between Slytherin and the other houses made it impossible. So I sat down between Hermione and Harry. The others chatted and laughed while I massaged my temples in attempt to calm my fear. I had sworn to control myself and I hadn't the intention in doing otherwise.

The door banging suddenly against the wall made everyone jump. Our precious teacher stepped in front of us and glared at everybody. I tried my best to glare back with such intensity but wasn't quite successful. God has he become cold. I thought as I inspected him. His hair wasn't greasy so I didn't understand why others said this about him. He had dark circles under his eyes and cavernous cheek. Seems like I'm not the only one who hasn't slept enough. But I must admit you have looked better Snape. I didn't want to care about him but I was concerned about him looking much older than he really was. He snapped me out of my thoughts when he started the class by taking the register and reading every name. Like Flitwick had done before he paused at Harry's name and I sensed that it wasn't out of excitement like the charms professor. Damn I was right.

"Ah yes" he said softly "Harry Potter. Our new – celebrity." I couldn't do otherwise than frown at his words. I knew that he disliked Harry but I wouldn't allow him to mess around with my friend. Before I could say something he had already called my name. I sat straight and glared at him when his eyes met mine. Resting his gaze longer on me than the other students he finished calling the names. He looked up at the class and started talking. I had the impression that he avoided looking at me.

In a voice that kept the class silent even if it wasn't loud, rather a whisper he started talking. I had difficulties obtaining my control when I started to lose myself in his voice.

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making. As there is no foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses…"

I knew his love for potions. He always started talking with more passion if he explained about it. I concentrated hard not to lose control over my mind. I couldn't help myself from falling for his passion. It was the most emotions I had seen in him at Hogwarts.

"Potter!" he said suddenly and snapped me out of my thoughts again. "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

I could feel how Hermione lifted her hand but Severus ignored her. Harry on the other side looked as if he didn't have a clue about what Snape was talking and I couldn't blame him. My anger against Severus came back and grew with every question and mean comments he did.

"Let's try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find a bezoar?" Again Hermione lifted her hand and Harry didn't know the answer. Meanwhile I had to control myself from shouting at Snape.

"What is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?" Before Harry could tell him that he didn't know the answer my anger took control.

"Excuse me, SIR" I emphasized the last word in a mocking way to annoy him. His head snapped in my direction, he couldn't avoid me any longer.

"I think I can read good enough that I couldn't find anything in our letter what obligates us to already learn or to open our books before coming. I mean… we came here to LEARN from YOU. We are after all first years. I can say that I already read in my books but I guess about half the class didn't."

The class fell silent at my outburst and Snape glared at me. I could see the anger in his face. Never had a student interrupted his class before. No one dared it, but my father was worst so…

"I didn't ask for your opinion Miss Jackson. And if you interrupt my class again you will serve detention with me tonight." His voice was cold and his eyes emotionless but I knew him: his slight frown and curled lips showed his anger. But for me it wasn't enough, I wanted to make him really angry. He turned his gaze back to Harry and started talking again but not with me.

"I think you do know that no professor has the right to insult students. That's exactly what you are doing right now. Just wanted to remind you."

I saw him frowning and when he looked at me his eyes were full of anger. I couldn't help myself from smirking. It just made him angrier but I didn't care.

"I think you do know Miss Jackson that you will have to serve detention with me tonight?!" He said in a mocking way, his lip was curled. "And don't think you could threat me. You are nothing more than an insolent child and like you said a FIRST year." His mocking voice was now replaced by a dangerous one but his lips turned into a smirk. I couldn't ignore the twinge in my heart. He saw me as a little child. My own smirk disappeared and was replaced with an emotionless mask.

"Do you really think I care? I give a damn about detentions. You are nothing more than an unequable failure who likes to take out his anger and bad temper on students. You may know something about potions but that doesn't make you a proper teacher."

During my words my emotionless mask changed into pure anger and hatred against Snape. Years of fighting back my emotions made them blurt out. I wanted to make him suffer like he did to me.

Snape on the other side became rigid and his expression turned dead cold. Now I REALLY got him angry.

"How dare you talk to me like that? You accuse me of insulting students; well you just insulted me, your TEACHER." His voice became louder and colder. His eyes seemed to lose every emotion; not even anger could be seen. "It seems like your parents didn't taught you manners. And I AM your teacher so if you have a problem with me teaching you go and meet the headmaster. You can be sure that he won't even listen to your whining. Because that is what you are doing right now: whining about injustice."

I stood up so fast that my chair fell down but I didn't realize. My fists shook with anger. I just saw Snape facing me. Neither did I notice Harry and Hermione twitching my sleeve with intent to calm me down, nor Draco's pleading look to calm down.

"Do. Not. Ever. Say. Something. About. My. Parents. Again. My shitty father didn't teach me anything except that physical pain isn't the worst pain. And my mother was murdered before she could teach me anything. Therefore, I treat everybody like I think it's appropriate. And for your information: I won't go to the headmaster because I doubt some of his decision makings."

"Then I will teach you that you have to show SOME RESPECT. I am after all your PROFESSOR, whether you like it or not. The SAME applies for your HEADMASTER!"

"Like I said PROFESSOR, I treat everybody like he or she deserves it and I don't understand why I should show respect towards a death eater, nor towards an old man who employs one."

Snape stood now right in front of me so I had to look up what wasn't great at all but I wouldn't give him any satisfaction nor would I give in. Snape's reaction was strange. I had intended to make him angry but he just stared at me, stared. Not glared or frowned. His expression was emotionless again but without any sign of anger.

"Every other student would get a week or month of detention but I don't want to waste my time with you, Miss Jackson." He said in a calm and controlled voice. I on the other side was confused and angry. He considered me as a waste of time?!

"You don't want to mess with me Sir?! Afraid of givin' in first?! Understandable because I would win anyway." I sounded rather proud and mocking but it hadn't the wished effect. Surprisingly it was the opposite. Snape turned around and walked back to his desk. With his back to me he said:

"I don't want to have you in detention because I would like to work in silence and not with an annoying brat like yourself. It's already enough to have to teach you twice a week."

I didn't know if it was just my impression but he sounded tired. I didn't know what I could say because he had caught me off guards with his reaction which was nothing like I had expected. He had now arrived at his desk and turned around again. Completely ignoring me still standing and staring at him he started talking.

"I want you to read Chapter 1 to 4 in your books until Wednesday and to be able to answer my already asked questions." He sat down and the bell rang. Everybody hurried outside the fastest it was possible. I was still very confused about his reaction and packed my things slowly.

"I suggest you go now Miss Jackson before I give you a detention with Mr. Filch." I heard him say and looked up. But he just wrote something down and didn't bother looking at me. His voice seemed more tired than before. I took my bag and left. However before I closed the door I turned back and saw him holding his head in his hands. Even if I didn't want to feel that way I wondered if I had gone too far. He didn't look strong anymore, rather vulnerable. When I closed the door I shook my head and reminded myself of my plan to make him feel my pain.