4

4. Halloween

Until the end of the following week Harry had managed to become Gryffindor's seeker thanks to Draco's provocation. I was happy for Harry, he really was very good. Hermione and I, we went to several Quidditch practice to watch him. Sadly, I hadn't managed to befriend her with Harry and Ron because Ron, the tactless person he was sometimes, had made a rude remark about her knowledge when she tried to help him in Charms class.

I went after her when she ran crying. I found her in the girls' toilets, locked-in.

"Hermione don't listen to him! Ron's just being stupid. You know how he is." I could hear her sobbing and knocked gently on the door.

"Go away and leave me alone! Please." I sighted and sat down, my back leaning on the door. "I won't go anywhere until you come out!" After a while she stopped crying and I could hear her robes rustling. "Come on Hermione! I will sit with you at the feast and enjoy the good food. Do you honestly want to miss the feast just because he made some remark about you? You may know much and be addicted to what the teachers say but you don't have to listen to everything."

"Says the one who can't stop arguing with Professor Snape and can't let him make some remark without shouting back…" Replied her quiet voice. I sighted again and banged my head on the door. The lessons with Severus weren't getting better. I didn't want him to get away with his betrayal but nearly each time we had potions I had a detention. They were always the same: I came, he ordered me to clean the tables or to arrange some potions, we didn't talk or ague if he didn't start and few hours later he would let me go. I had make Gryffindor lose at least fifty points after the second week which earned me another detention with Professor McGonagall and a very severe warning to behave properly. Not that I had not listened to it but Severus unfair behavior made me angry. I wanted to make him suffer so I nearly always referred to him as death eater. Strangely, he never gave away my secret about me being the Dark Lord's daughter which surprised me. Often he would catch me off guards if he just ignored me. He treated me different than the other students. It seemed almost as if he tried to take away least points possible. I got more detention than Fred and George which was difficult to do. They even called me "Snape's rival" because I managed to make him angry and to win some arguments with him. Can't say that I am proud…

"Could you leave me for some minutes please? Interrupted Hermione my thoughts. "Go down to the feast and I'll come later." I decided to let her go with it and said: "If you aren't down in fifteen minutes I will come and drag you down by myself. Do you understand?" I heard a gentle humming and stood up. "See you in the Great Hall." Again a humming as an answer. Leaving her alone I walked to the Great Hall and sat down besides Harry. Before I could decide whether to tell Ron about what he did or not Harry said: "You know, Hermione is crying in the girls' toilets?" "I do. I just was with her. She told me she would be here any minute. I hope you are going to apologize." I said with a warning look to Ron who shrank a little in his seat.

Suddenly the door to the Great Hall banged open and in came a very distressed and panicked Professor Quirrel. "TROLL! TROLL IN THE DUNGEONS! I tried to… wanted to… Thought, I should warn you." And he fainted and fell on the floor. All the students panicked and a chaos developed until Dumbledore ordered the prefects to guide the students into their houses. As we jostled our way through a crowd of Hufflepuffs, Harry grabbed my arm. "I've just thought – Hermione."

"Damn, you are right. She doesn't know about the troll, we have to warn her."

Together with Ron we ran down into the dungeons and saw the troll entering the girls' toilets. We were a little too late. Running after him I screamed Hermione to stay inside. When we finally reached the toilets we saw the troll striking the cabins down. We heard Hermione scream. Together Ron and Harry managed to finish him off by using his own mace against him.

It was Hermione who spoke first: "Is it dead?"

"I don't think so," Harry said. "I think it's just been knocked out."

A sudden slamming and loud footsteps made us look up. Not realizing what noise we had made the teacher were coming, with them Severus. Great! Fortunately, we got away with awarded house points.

"I believe you three should go to the hospital wing," said Professor Dumbledore, inspecting our bruises. "As for you Ms. Jackson, I'm afraid you need to go with Professor Snape seeing that normal potions don't help you."

Hermione, Harry and Ron gave me a reassuring smile whilst they followed a stern looking Professor McGonagall. I just stood there, trying to get my emotions under control and not to let him see my pain I could feel rising in my arm. I had hit the wall pretty hard when the troll had dashed me with his mace.

"Ms. Jackson, I do not have all day," Severus said with an impatient voice. I looked at him but he had already turned around to leave so I just watched his back. The cloak bellowing behind him really makes him looking like a bat. Wonder what has changed him from an honorable man to such a cold person. I was still lost in thought when he turned to me again, clearly recognizing that I wasn't following like he had ordered. I couldn't see his face in the dark of the corridor but his voice reflected the rising anger. " Come. Now. Or I will have to drag you with me." With these words he went on again and I didn't know why but his words made me smile. The thought of him not leaving me but taking me with him to take care of my arm made me happy - at least for a short moment. Dumbledore gave him the order. If he would do the same without it? Not wanting to be shouted at again I followed him quickly into the dungeons. I could just make out his silhouette in the dim light. He banged open the door to his office and closed it using magic after I had stepped in. "Sit," he ordered without looking at me. I sat down whilst he was taking something out of his shelf behind the desk. When he turned around to me again I was startled about his anger. My anger and plan not to let him see my pain vanished. Not knowing what to expect from him when he came to me, I just looked at him. Guess my eyes showed my fear. He kneeled down in front of me and inspected my arm. It really didn't look well. The sleeve of my forearm was tattered and soaked with blood. A cut was the reason for my pain and loss of blood. Severus' look got darker and I winced when he took my arm. Gently he cut of my sleeve at the elbow using his wand. "Why you headless, insolent child haven't you used magic?" He said more to himself. I however was astonished. I had expected an insulting remark. Not thinking I answered quietly: "I don't know." He sighted and for the first time he didn't look angry or emotionless. Whilst he put some paste on the cut I could only stare at him. I took the time to inspect his face. His eyes seemed worried but I wasn't sure - could be the effect of the light. The dark circles around them and the slightly sunken face showed that something was really troubling him. He looked not very healthy. I felt a tingle in my heart. Never had I seen him so distressed before. As if he had felt my gaze he looked me in the eyes, my arm still resting in his hands. I couldn't help myself but to stare at him. "Try not to get hurt again. I don't want to have to fix you again." The indeterminable look changed in less than a second, he blinked one time and suddenly I looked in the emotionless eyes again. He gazed back to the now healed arm and let go of me. "Leave now. I have some work to do." He said standing up. I was brought back to reality by the change to his old self again and sighted. Without looking back I left his office - not seeing the helpless gaze he was looking at me with.

That night I couldn't sleep so I decided to sit on the couch near the fire in the common room. I couldn't forget his look. I wanted to forget it and to be angry at him but for this few seconds he had been the old Severus again, the one who took care of me like I was his own child. When he had looked at me I had wanted him to embrace me again – to feel save and strong again. I started crying silently. Waking up the next day I made a decision: I would never let myself go that way and show my feelings.