6

6. Christmas

Since the encounter with the troll Hermione was Harry's and Ron's friend too. Harry had found out that somebody had broken into the vault he was in with Hagrid in Diagon Alley. Not knowing what it was we found out that it was at Hogwarts. Thanks to Hagrid's imprudence we got the name Nicolas Flamel. So we searched the whole library for a book about him, unfortunately we couldn't find anything. When the Christmas holidays arrived and Hermione was about to leave she told us to continue searching but in the forbidden section. So the evening before Christmas I decided to go to the library alone. Ron and Harry wanted to play chess but I wasn't so much into it. I made my way down the stairs when I had the sudden feeling of being watched. I could feel the presence of another person and I let my instinct search the person – I knew who it was. I went on to the library. There was only the librarian and two students working on something that had surely not to do with schoolwork. Still feeling the presence of the person following me I changed my mind and wandered down to the lake. I went to the hidden spot which you could only reach if you pushed some branches to the side. It really wasn't possible to see the person being here nor could you hear it because it was far away from the usual places students would be. I loved the spot because you had a great size over the lake and the forest in the background. I sat down, gazing the lake.

"You can come out now. I know you're there!"

"Damn, and I thought I could startle you," came the voice of Draco through the bushes. Grinning he came beside me. "May I accompany you young lady?"

I didn't react. "You should leave."

"Oh really?!" he said with a played disappointed face. "Is that why you're avoiding me?"

"I just don't want to have to deal with you any longer" I answered emotionless. He was watching the lake now and seemed absent-minded. "This place is beautiful." I looked at him. He was like some years ago, except his appearance of course. I had made everything I could to not have to have this conversation. I had insulted him as much as possible and avoided him. I turned my gaze back to the lake. Again it was Draco who started speaking.

"Well. What are you doing here anyway? I thought you wanted to go to the library."

"And why did you follow me?"

"Just wanted to talk." He looked down, took some grass and threw it into the water. " You're avoiding me Arya, why? I mean what have I done wrong? And why are you so angry that you are taking every remark I make personally?" Draco looked at me but I refused to watch him so I gazed at the lake. I prepared myself for what I was going to tell him. "Something's definitely wrong. I'm not stupid." He knew me to well just like I knew him. "Is it something with Snape?"

I didn't say anything but slightly shook my head. "Look it's all simple. I don't want to have to do with you. If you would get my hints you would have understood earlier. But it seems as if I have to tell you directly. You are no-one I want to have to deal with. You decided to go your way by being sorted in Slytherin. You and your idiotic friends are insulting my friends every day…"

I didn't know how to tell him. I watched a bug climbing on a stone near my foot. After a while I turned my head in his direction and said coldly and without showing any emotions: "I don't want you in my life Draco! I don't want to have a connection with any Slytherin".

He stared at me with disbelief. Draco was speechless. And my heart was starting to break. I had said it. I had finally done it.

"You know I don't care about my family or my father even if I say so all the time." He said carefully. "They can never come between us. We swore it each other years ago when you came to us." Now he seemed rather pleading and I couldn't bear hearing that tone in his voice. His eyes were begging me to take it all back, to tell him that it wasn't the truth. I could feel his pain.

"It was the mistake of a naïve young girl. I understand now Malfoy. I understand things now. I love my friends and if you ever insult them the slightest again I'll make you pay for it!"

I stood up and left. Feeling numb I walked without paying attention to where I was going. Suddenly I found myself in front of a door I knew very well from my detentions – the door to Severus' classroom. I could have hit myself for letting me go that far. Damn you Aryanna! You just managed to finally end the contact with Draco so that you can concentrate on keeping you under control and now you're here. Forgive me Draco but I had to do this to keep you safe. I can't risk you getting hurt because of me.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sudden noise of an opening door. Instead of the door I found myself in front of a dark haired wizard with a perfectly emotionless expression. I forgot about all my troubles and imitated his mask. My eyes weren't quite successful I think. I didn't manage to hide all my feelings.

"Is there a problem Ms. Jackson? If not I want you to leave now because I have important business to look after." He sneered at me what made me feel small again. I stood completely in his shadow because his room had the only light in the corridor. I gulped and tried to stand up for myself… but I failed. "I don't have any problems except you PROFESSOR and…"

His dark angry look silenced me and I didn't manage to finish my sentence. Strangely, he didn't use my mistake to his advantage. His expression changed to a rather annoyed and bored one. "Yes right. We went through this already. So if you would just leave now." Without bothering about me standing right in front of him he passed by, almost knocking me down.

"Idiot," I said to myself. "Likewise," answered surprisingly his bored voice. I couldn't help myself so I grinned slightly. Turning around I saw that he stood several meters away. "Do not think I did not notice your interest in Nicolas Flamel. I saw you and your friends in the library and heard you talking. Stop whatever you are doing. It is none of your business!" With that he turned around and vanished in the darkness leaving me speechless behind. We always had paid attention not to speak in front of anyone else about Flamel. Still wondering how Severus could know about that I walked back to the Gryffindor tower.

"So, did you find something?" asked Ron as I entered the common room.

"No, got disturbed so I couldn't. Guys, I'm going to sleep. It's nearly midnight and I'm tired. Good night."

"Alright. Good night!" said Harry absent-minded, still concentrated on their game. With that I climbed the stairs to the dorm. Nobody was there; the other girls had gone home.

One hour later, I still couldn't sleep. My mind was occupied with Draco's face when I had told him and the question how Severus knew about our research about Nicolas Flamel. Harry was under the impression that whatever it was stolen from Gringotts and hidden at Hogwarts, Snape had to do with it. I wasn't sure yet if it was true. Damn you bastard Severus! I wanted to stay away from you and nonetheless I keep running into you. Maybe you've even become a thief. How the hell can you be that person without regrets?! Thinking about my wish to make him that angry that he would do something illegal and be fired, I fell asleep.

When I woke up the next morning I saw a pile of presents on my bed. I pushed away the bad feeling I had about Draco. I enclosed the pain in the back of my mind. Given the fact that Harry, Ron and I were the only first-year Gryffindor's staying over Christmas I decided to take my presents in the common room, hoping for the boys to be there too – I was right. Already unwrapping their presents, they sat in the armchairs by the fire.

"Merry Christmas you two!" I wished plopping in the third armchair. Over a pile of presents in my arms I grinned, it was more faked than ever but they didn't realise. "Merry Christmas," said Ron whilst eating a chocolate frog.

"Thank you Arya for this book about Quidditch!" said Harry brightly. "See you haven't unpacked yet."

Not waiting any longer I unwrapped them. From Hermione I got an advanced book about potions, from Ron chocolate frogs, a sweater from his mum and from Harry a box with candies. There were still two presents left but suddenly I heard Ron getting excited so I looked up.

"Wow, that's an Invisibility Cloak! They're really rare and really valuable." Harry tried it and really, he disappeared. "Wonder who sent you the cloak." I asked them. "I've read about it, it makes you invisible but others can still hear you." Harry and Ron beamed and started to make fun of one another whilst one of them had the cloak on. Not interested in their childish game I turned my attention back to the last two presents. They were both small, not bigger than the palm of a hand. I opened first the one wrapped in red with a silver bow. It was heavy for its sight. Inside was a bronze emblem with the Gryffindor lion and the Slytherin Snake. Unlike on every other picture they seemed peaceful with one another. The long body of the snake lay half curled under the standing lion. Their heads were at same level, piercing eyes of little diamonds looking in my direction. I stared at the emblem. Turning it around I saw a note pinned on the back. A neat writing said: Love is nothing to be reserved or afraid of. Time will come when you'll realize that there can't be life without love, nor love without hate. Never underestimate love! Merry Christmas to you. Sincerely Albus Dumbledore

I didn't understand what he meant or why he would send me something at all. After all, he was the one who had made me live at the Malfoy's and the orphanage. My grip hardened around the emblem and with a quick move I threw the note in the fire. Reluctant I put the emblem to the other presents. The last present was even smaller and wrapped in navy blue also with a silver ribbon. Who would send me a present? I got something from my friends and even Dumbledore. Let's just hope that it isn't from my father, I thought while unwrapping the present. Inside was a little black box. Curious I opened it and gasped. On black velvet lay a silver ring, formed like flames ranked at one another or like ranks of Devil's snare. I had always wanted such a ring because it represented the circle of life and the importance of every life. The circle wouldn't be complete if one part would miss. Carefully, I took it out of the box and put it on my right ring finger. It didn't fit well but suddenly the ring shrank until the size was perfect. It gleamed almost white in the light of the fire. It's beautiful! I wondered who could have sent me, no, who could have known about it. I never told anyone about it so who is it from?! Still thinking about the riddle I threw the wrapping paper in the flames and turned my attention back to Ron and Harry. They were still busy with the cloak, trying to figure out who could have sent it.

"You know you could go in the restricted section without anyone seeing you?" I asked mischievously. "True! I'll try it if we can't find anything until Hermione's back."

So we searched but the day before school started again we hadn't found anything so Harry decided to go to the library. Because Ron had to finish some homework he stayed in the common room with Hermione whilst Harry and I slipped in the library under the cloak. Not knowing where to search we opened several books hoping to find the name. Suddenly one book let out a scream which made us jump. We could hear the rattling breath of the caretaker Filch so we slipped under the cloak and run. We ended up in an empty room with nothing but a huge mirror – the mirror of Erised. Standing in front of it we felt small. "Look, do you see those two persons behind me? They are my parents." exclaimed Harry suddenly. "I'm sorry but I just see us." I said with a frown. There was something strange about that mirror. "You have to stand in the middle, come here." And so I stood right in the middle in front of the mirror but I couldn't see them. I watched my reflection – it was an older me I noticed. There was a person stepping beside me. Just when it arrived by my side I could make out who it was – Severus Snape. He looked at me and smiled, genuinely and warmly. Watching my reflection again I saw that he had slipped his hand around my waist and I was leaning into him. Appalled by that scene I stumbled back, horror written on my face. That can't be! I would never be with him. He's not my fairy love. I would never put him in such danger. There was a second person arriving now, it was Draco. Happy too he smiled in Severus' direction who kissed my head. That was too much for me to bear. Turning around and ignoring Harry's calls I ran with tears streaming down my face. I ended in an empty classroom and broke down crying. Why would I love him? And why would I put Draco in danger? That were questions I couldn't find the answer to but the picture of me and Severus… It made me feel how much I missed him and how angry I was at the same time. If this mirror showed the future than I should be happy but Harry's parents were dead so it couldn't be. I felt anger rising in me. Never would I allow Severus to be forgiven, never would I allow my heart to forgive him! He had abandoned me, broke his promise and left me alone, not caring about my wellbeing. And I would never put Draco in danger. He was part of the Malfoy family. My father would use him. When all the tears were dried on my face I walked numbly to the dorm.