22

22. Buckbeat

The next morning – I was feeling alright again after Severus had taken care of me – we went down for breakfast. I let myself plop down next to Fred as George passed us our timetables.

"It seems as if you're having luck today, Arya." Fred told me grinning and pointed to my first period. I followed his finger with my gaze and saw that I had a free period.

"We can spend it together if you like." He said smiling. Wondering I furrowed my eyebrows.

"You don't have classes now?"

"Nope." He grinned mischievously at his brother. "We're supposed to learn for our Z.A.G. but it's our first day."

"Great, I would love to spend time with you!" I exclaimed happily.

"Awesome." George's thoughtful tone made me look up at him and I saw that he was watching at something behind me. Fred had turned around too.

"That little git!" He said calmly. At that we all turned around and saw Draco and his friends joking around. It was obvious that he was making fun of Harry because he had fainted in the train as every Slytherin was looking at him. Ron glared at them.

"Just ignore them, Harry." Hermione told him but Harry continued staring darkly at Draco. I couldn't avert my gaze. I wondered what would happen if I went over to him and told him to let it drop. Would he insult me? Or ignore me? If he really had chosen to treat me like any other Gryffindor he would surely insult me, wouldn't he? Blinking I turned around again. I knew I was way too coward to talk to him after what happened in the train. I was afraid he really had abandoned me.

The weight of an arm around my shoulder made me look up at Fred's amused face. His eyebrows were raised quizzical. I answered with a smile and shook my head.

"Sorry. Was thinking of something else."

"Like, punching Malfoy in the face?" He asked laughing, pulling me in his arms. I tried to glare at him but didn't suppress a laugh.

"No!" I faked indignation. "But I was wondering what to do with my free time now."

"You didn't take Divination?" Ron asked enviously. Grinning I shook my head and he groaned.

"I'm not interested in someone's future, not even mine. And by the way, I don't think you can learn how to do prophecies. Either you're born with the ability or not." I explained.

"You should use your free time to study!" Hermione suggested sternly. "However, we need to go now. Divination is at the top of the North tower."

"Okay, so I'll see you in Transfiguration. Have fun!" I waved as they left the table.

"How about going down to the lake and we'll show you something?" George asked me grinning mischievously.

Later, in the morning I made my way to Transfiguration class. Fred and George had shown me their newest candy experiments. It had been a while since I had laughed that hard about something. Some candy really made you look so bad that you definitely needed to visit the hospital wing. They had tried them on themselves to show me.

When I arrived at the classroom Hermione, Harry and Ron weren't there yet so I chose to sit in the middle of the room. Strictly speaking, I was the first to be there because last period ended not until five minutes. Professor McGonagall was sitting behind her desk and writing something. As I pulled my chair back, making some noise, she looked up and with a flick of a wand the parchment she was writing on vanished.

"Good morning, Ms. Jackson." She greeted me with a smile. Politely, I returned it.

"Morning, Professor." As I took out my books she was still watching me.

"How are you?" Furrowing my eyebrows in surprise I looked up again.

"I'm… fine." I stated shortly. I hadn't expected her to be concerned about me. The day I had told her my story had been the longest time I had spent in the same room with her. If knowing about my relation with Severus and my past made her worry about me every time something happened it would be exhausting and embarrassing. Right now, I felt awkward under her gaze.

"I want you to know that you can talk to me if you need somebody to talk to. I know you have… Severus… and he really cares about you… but he's a man and maybe you'll need a woman one day." She finished seriously and I had to concentrate not to start grinning.

"Thank you, Professor. But for the time being I'm completely fine with having Severus to talk to."

She nodded in agreement and walked back to her desk. I picked up a book and opened it, hiding my grin from her.

As I heard the other people coming in I was still looking amused. My grin faded however as I saw Draco and Blaise sitting down on the table diagonal to mine so that I would have to see them during the lesson. Annoyed, I dropped my book as Hermione plopped down next to me.

"Hey." She said cheerfully.

"Hi." I answered gloomy.

"What's wrong?" She wondered whilst unpacking her – strangely with books crowded – bag.

"Nothing." I looked around the room, then turned back to Hermione.

"Why is everybody glancing at Harry?" At that Hermione laughed a short laugh.

"Oh, Professor Trelawney saw Harry's death in close future." I snickered.

"Did she? Well, I told you Divination is of no use. It's bullshit."

Before Hermione could say something, Professor McGonagall started her lesson. She told us about Animagi – wizards who could transform at will into an animal. I could see that the class was hardly paying attention even when she transformed herself into a cat in front of our eyes. The rest of the lesson Professor McGonagall spoke about Trelawney's prediction. I liked her a little more for not believing in Divination.

After lunch we made our way down to Hagrid's hut for Care of Magical Creatures. Hermione and Ron weren't speaking with each other since they had a little argument about the Grim Trelawney had predicted Harry. Therefore, I gave my best to cheer up Harry and as we had almost reached Hagrid's he was laughing again. It died, however, when we spotted the only-too-familiar blond hair of none other than Draco Malfoy. As usual, he was being the biggest idiot by laughing and sneering about other classmates.

"Alright, class. Gather 'round! I've prepared a special lesson for today. Now, follow me everyone." And with that Hagrid left in direction of the forest, the whole class following him reluctantly.

"Hey, Jackson!" I immediately recognized the voice and made a face.

"Ignore him!" Hermione warned me whispering but I couldn't. I needed to know if he hated me now.

"What?" I asked not bothering to slow down or turn around.

"Is it true that you fainted too? I mean there've been rumours going around and I was wondering if they were true." I could literally hear his nasty grin and shivered. Only too well, I remembered the Dementor in the train and seeing them around Hogwarts didn't make me feel any better.

"What's it to you, Malfoy?" I asked coldly. "So you believe in rumours now. Then you have a lot of work to do if you want to nail every person on the rumours going around this school."

"Oh, not every person." He said laughing mischievously. "Only those who are worth of my presence."

"That makes me feel special." I replied sarcastically, rolling my eyes and not able to suppress a small smile.

"You're special enough to punch you right in the face." The laughing voice of Flint made me finally turn around. I hadn't seen him before. Draco, to my surprise, joined in. I felt a sudden sting in my heart. Never had I expected him to pair up with Flint.

"Go to hell, Flint!" I spat through clenched teeth but he only grinned ugly.

"Definitely not! I'm having too much fun with you. I need to get the hottest girl in this school in my bed." He grinned eyeing me up and down. I snored in disgust and hurried up to catch up with Hermione. My fists were clenched at my sides so I exhaled loudly to calm down. I really hated this guy!

Hagrid finally came to a stop as we arrived at a clearing and asked us to open our books. Of course, Draco didn't miss a chance to annoy me - or everybody. I guess now he's not trying anymore to get me to talk to him, he's just really being a Malfoy, I thought sadly.

"How are we supposed to open them?" He sneered coldly in Hagrid's direction.

Hagrid, however, seemed crestfallen. "You need to stroke them!" And with that he turned around again.

"Of course, why didn't I think of that?" He replied sarcastically and I glared at him. Then he turned to his friends. "If my father hears that we're being taught by that oaf he'll speak with the Minister of Magic." Draco boasted loud enough that everybody could hear it. Luckily, Hagrid was far enough not to hear it.

"Shut the hell up!" I glared at him and he raised one eyebrow in annoyance. Before he could say anything, however, a strange creature appeared next to Hagrid: a Hippogriff. We all backed away a little as its piercing eyes turned to us.

"Now, the first thing you need to know about Buckbeat is that Hippogriffs are very proud creatures. Insult them and it will surely be the last thing you're doing. They're very easily offended. If you approach you bow and wait. If it bows too you can touch it. If not, you leave slowly and carefully because it can hurt you pretty much. Alright, so who wants to go first?" Hagrid clapped in his hands and looked around for a volunteer. I understood as nobody moved forward, to afraid of Buckbeat.

Harry suddenly moved forward but by his composure I knew that he was only doing it because he wanted to help Hagrid. Slowly, he stepped in front of the Hippogriff who watched every move. I was amazed as it bowed after Harry had bowed. Hagrid had been right, it was a proud and at the same time beautiful creature. Now, Harry was touching Buckbeat who seemed to enjoy it.

"Good Harry, I think he'll let you ride him!" By the astonished look on Harry's face I saw that he wasn't looking forward to sit on Buckbeat. With a slap on its hindquarters huge wings flapped open. It started running forward and soared upwards. Quickly, it disappeared out of sight and everybody watched the sky in search for Harry and Buckbeat. After five minutes, they appeared again and Buckbeat landed on the clearing. Everybody started cheering – well, except the Slytherins - and seemed to be encouraged to come nearer. Hagrid had stopped for a moment to talk to Harry.

Suddenly, I felt somebody pushing me and wasn't surprised to see Draco strutting in Buckbeat's direction. I sensed what he wanted to do and had a really bad feeling about it.

"Yeah, you're not dangerous at all, aren't you? You great, ugly brut." In a flash Buckbeat had turned in his direction and let out an angry, terrifying noise. I couldn't watch it so I ran towards Draco, pushing him to the side with the strength I had.

The sharp pain in my right arm made me wince and fall on the ground. I lay there curled up holding my arm which was bleeding. I saw a long, deep gash and blood everywhere. The pain was strong and I gripped my arm even harder whilst tears streamed down my face.

"ARYA!" I heard my friends terrified voices.

"Hagrid, she needs to go to the hospital wing!" Hermione stated frantically.

I felt strong arms lifting me of the ground and carrying me. People were laughing, I think they were Slytherins. The rocking in Hagrid's arm made my arm hurt even more so I couldn't concentrate on healing myself. When we arrived in the castle he brought me straight to the hospital wing.

"Oh, merlin." Madame Pomfrey exclaimed as Hagrid had laid me down in bed and saw all the blood on me. "We'll need Severus to heal you. If any student had been hurt I could do something but with you… complicated."

"It's okay, really." I said through clenched teeth. "I can heal that by myself." I assured them looking around. Then I furrowed my eyebrows. "Where is Hermione?" I asked, hoping she hadn't done what I thought.

"She left to get Snape when we entered the castle." Harry said and I groaned letting my head fall back on the pillow.

"Great!" Closing my eyes and ignoring the pain I concentrated on my magic. I felt it pulsate in my body. Slowly, I let more magic flow in my arm. I sensed the unpleasant prickling as the wound started to heal itself. Smiling slightly, I opened my eyes and saw the blood being drawn back into the open wound. It would take some minutes for the wound to heal completely and even some hours for the muscles and veins to form again.

I looked up as I heard hurrying footsteps walking in the room. My smile vanished as I saw Severus, his cloak bellowing behind him. He was being followed by Hermione who shook her head as I glared at her. In a second Severus was by my side, wearing a very grim expression. After examining my arm, he looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"A hippogriff did this?" I only nodded in response and his gaze returned to the slowly healing wound.

"Seems as if you have everything under control. How did it happen? Don't tell me you've been stupid enough to insult a hippogriff." Severus voice was calm but sharp and I winced.

"I didn't." I answered quietly, looking at the ceiling. Severus' grim expression turned to one of anger and he raised his voice.

"Don't take me for a fool! Who did it then?" I didn't answer, seeing as I didn't want to make him even angrier than he was. I had promised to keep Draco out of everything and now I had taken an injury for him. Severus definitely wouldn't like this.

"It was Malfoy, Professor." Hagrid answered accusingly. Carefully, I glanced back at Severus and was surprised to see that his anger had vanished. Instead, his body relaxed slightly and he sighted. Harry and Ron were exchanging looks in confusion.

"I see." He said absentminded. "You stay in the hospital wing until dinner!" Severus commanded strictly, looking me in the eyes. "Be careful with your arm and come to see me tomorrow." I nodded and he surprised me again as he turned around and left after he had nodded in Madame Pomfrey's direction.

"Good, you heard him, Jackson. You need to rest and stay in bed until dinner. And the three of you leave now. Your friend will join you in a few hours but for now she needs rest." She made a dismissing gesture and left in direction of her office.

"Okay, if you need us we're coming right away." Harry told me smiling and I nodded.

"Yes, thanks. And Hermione, thank you for getting Snape even if I thought it to be a bad idea." Apologetically, I looked at her but she shrugged it off with a grin.

"Don't worry. Well, we'll see you later then." They left with a last smile in my direction.

Sighting, I closed my eyes and fall asleep somehow. When I woke up I didn't remember at first where I was.

"You're awake." I heard Madame Pomfrey's voice from somewhere. I sat up and saw her fussing around another bed.

"How's your arm?" I looked down at it and saw a white bandage. It didn't hurt but felt a bit numb.

"It's not hurting anymore but still healing on the inside." I told her. She came to my bed and examined it then she sighted.

"Fine, you may leave now. But remember, rest your arm until you go and see Professor Snape tomorrow. No writing, no wand using, nothing!" She told me strictly and I nodded.

Then I made my way down to the Great Hall for dinner. When I entered, many heads turned in my direction. Yeah, right. I hadn't been supposed to help out a Slytherin and especially not Draco Malfoy. I needed a moment before I had gained my composure and walked straight to my friends.

"Arya, how are you?" Hermione asked worried. I smiled whilst sitting down.

"I'm completely fine, don't worry about me. I shouldn't use my arm until tomorrow evening but it doesn't hurt anymore." Becoming serious I asked in a lower voice: "Do you know something about Hagrid? He didn't get into trouble because of this, didn't he?"

"We went to visit him before dinner and he was very down. He said that the school governors have been told and they're not happy about it. But until now nothing has been decided yet."

Harry said quietly and I gasped. Quizzical, he raised his eyebrow. I looked around if we had any listeners before speaking. "Lucius Malfoy, he's a school governor." I didn't need to say more, they opened their eyes in shock.

"Crap!" Ron murmured and I nodded in response.

Automatically, my gaze drifted of to the Slytherin table but I couldn't spot Draco or Blaise anywhere. Hopefully, they weren't talking to Draco's father right now. I knew my wish was useless because Lucius Malfoy would do anything to punish Hagrid.

A punch on my side made me look up in confusion. Across from me sat Harry with raised eyebrows as if he had asked something. I shook my head to concentrate again. "Sorry, what?"

"I asked why did you do it? Why did you help HIM?" Slight anger traced his voice as he fixed me with his gaze. Nervously, I traced my jaw with my thumb.

"Honestly, Harry, I don't know." Sighting, I filled my plate randomly with some food that stood on the table. As I glanced up again I saw that he was watching me in confusion as if he was thinking about me. Annoyed, I slammed my fork down on the table. "Really, I don't know why I did it but I can tell you that whatever happens now, Hagrid would be punished far worse if his son had been injured."

"You can't tell me that you thought of that in the second you decided to help Malfoy!" Harry exclaimed loudly, attracting attention of our neighbours.

"No, I haven't! And by the way I didn't 'decide' to help him. I would have done it for anybody. Now excuse me, please, I have homework to do."

"Well, done Harry." I heard Hermione whisper. Not looking at him again I stood up and left quickly. I felt many eyes on me as I passed the great hall. I didn't even know where I was going until I found myself in the dungeon, facing Severus' office to be precise. My anger had vanished completely as I starred at the wooden door so I lifted my hand and knocked softly.

The door opened almost the second I had touched it and I found myself starring at some dark blue robes and black shoes. "Good evening, Aryanna." The amused voice of none other than Albus Dumbledore made me look up in surprise.

"What are you doing here?" I asked accusingly. Of course, he didn't become angry but winked at me with a bright smile, his eyes sparkling.

"I happened to be the headmaster of this school so I suppose I'm allowed to speak with my colleagues." He had raised his eyebrows and I felt uncomfortable looking him in the eyes. Before I had to break the gaze, he continued. "But you're not here to talk to me. Severus, you have a visitor." And with that he left smiling happily, vanishing in the dark of the corridor. Slowly, I entered the office which wasn't illuminated as always. I couldn't spot Severus anywhere. The only light came from a door that laid to his private chamber, he had told me once. I had never been in there. Suddenly, a tall, dark silhouette appeared in the door frame and all the lights came on.

"I asked you to see me tomorrow and not to skip dinner." Severus' amused voice made the corner of my mouth twitch. Slowly, he approached crossing his arms. His amusement changed as I bit my lip and looked down.

"Something wrong?" He asked softly.

I hadn't even known that everything was bothering me so much until I felt a wall break down inside of me. Helpless, I threw up my arms and could feel my eyes water up.

"I don't know. I mean I just woke up and went down for dinner. Everybody was staring at me and then Harry asked me accusingly why I had helped Draco. And I heard that the school governors have gathered to discuss the case and Hagrid will definitely be in trouble seeing as Lucius Malfoy is one of them. And I just don't know what to do with Draco. I need to protect him but I ruined it with what I did today. Then again, I don't regret it the slightest. I wish so much to talk to him, to spend time with him and Blaise but I can't. And I hate it! I hate that I have to do this, Severus!"

Severus hadn't move an inch closer. He was staring at me with furrowed eyebrows, deep in thoughts. Angrily, I wiped my tears away and turned my gaze back at him. "And I have the feeling as if I'm always crying when I'm talking to you and I hate it too. And I hate if you're looking at me like this." At this the corner of his mouth twitched but he became serious again as my gaze turned gloomy.

Sighting, he stepped forward taking my hand in his and leading me to a chair. He squeezed my shoulder to sit down and kneeled in front of me, looking deeply into my eyes. His gaze was so intense, I felt goose bumps all over my body. I wanted to look away but his warm dark eyes fixed me somehow. Where my hand lay still in his I felt a burning feeling.

"Aryanna, I want you to listen closely now. I know you since you were a young, little girl. The reason you come to me to talk about everything is because I know you better than anyone else. I'm not judging you for anything, I understand you. And as I said, I know you. Most of the times you were here crying wasn't because of your father, or your friends – because you must keep secrets from them even if you don't want to – or Hagrid, or yourself… You were crying because of Draco. For two years now you're pushing him away and I can see how much it's bothering and hurting you. You try to ignore your feeling but - believe me if I tell you – it doesn't help, it's only making things worse. Therefore, I'm asking you to stop this… Talk to him like you talk to me, he loves you as much as you love him, he will understand you, I'm sure of it! Stop pushing him away, I beg you! … The one thing I'm caring about is you and I hate seeing you crying so I'm doing everything I can to help you. You are afraid for Draco's safety? I can keep him safe, I can protect him. But you have to let me. And Draco is strong, he knows how to protect himself. He's proven it every time he tried to talk to you. And after what you did today he knows not to give up on you... Please, Arya, promise me to think about what I told you now!"

For a long time, we sat in silence. Severus was still holding my hand watching me closely and I couldn't break the gaze. I knew he was right, everything had been about Draco, always. I loved and missed my brother so much. I wanted to see him so badly every day and I would have no problem keeping this secret from my friends if we were on speaking terms again if there wasn't my-

"I promise, Severus." There it was again. I was lying to myself and, even worse, to Severus. His pleading gaze turned into sadness and he took his hand away from mine. Sighting, he stood up and backed away. I didn't feel comforted anymore as I watched at his eyes that seemed so distant all the sudden.

"Severus…" My voice sounded frightened. As if something had snapped inside of him he turned cool and turned away. The slight tingle of tears running down my face made the twinging pain in my heart only worse.

"Severus!" I pleaded, sobbing quietly. In a second, he whirled around, his cold eyes pierced me aggressively.

"Don't, just don't! Honestly, I don't understand why you're coming here if you don't want my help." This outburst took me by surprise. Before I could stop myself, I started for some excuse but that was the wrong move, not with Severus. "I'm ALWAYS listening to you and telling you what I'm thinking and you dare lying to me? What am I? Just some douchebag who comforts you if you're not feeling well? When will you understand that I CARE ABOUT YOU? I'm trying to help you!-"

It seemed as if he wanted to say more but he stopped himself, his gaze fixed on the bookshelf behind me. I felt so terrible but I didn't dare to say anything. I was afraid of making things worse. I had seen Severus angry so many times but never had he been so…

"I'm sorry… I wasn't being fair." He seemed desperate. I had never heard him speaking like this. It was as if he was angry with himself and if he had lost hope. "I think it's best if you leave now!" Massaging his temples, he went to his desk and sat down. I was smart enough not to try to talk to him again so I left shaking. I don't even remember how I got to my dorm or how long I took but when I fell in my bed everybody was sleeping around me.