37

37. I love you… (Part 2)

I decided to go up on the Astronomy Tower. Every student was down in the Great Hall so no teacher would be up there. It took me some time to reach the top and as I finally arrived I was cursing my heels.

As I leaned on the railing my mind wandered off into the dark night. I couldn't keep myself from thinking about Severus. My mind replayed my dreams over and over again. I could hear Severus' voice telling me how much he loved me.

For the second time this evening, my eyes started watering up. Angrily, I grabbed the railing tightly and bit my lip to keep tears from falling. To my surprise, it worked. Nevertheless, I couldn't stop my butterflies from whirling around in my stomach. I pictured me and Severus kissing right here whilst the warm prickling sensation of love rushed through my whole body…

Suddenly, I felt somebody's presence behind me. I closed my eyes for a few seconds and took a deep breath before turning my head.

Severus' cloak bellowed behind him in the light wind. I only saw his frame in the shadow, his face not visible in the dark.

He stepped forward in the light of the moon that shone brightly over the black lake. His eyes shone more mysterious and beautiful than I had ever seen before. The light made his cheek bones stand out and gave his face a soft touch. The raven black hair framed his face just right…

A painful sting in my heart made me gulp and turn around again. I couldn't bare seeing him here like this. It reminded me to much of my dreams.

"Don't worry. I'm leaving soon. I just needed some air before going to sleep." My voice was quiet and I didn't even know if he had heard me.

I felt him approaching and bit my lip. My hands started shaking slightly as I imagined him being angry again. I would break down this time…

"Arya, I'm sorry."

It took some time for my brain to understand those few words. But when it did I felt my whole body relax a little. The tears I had managed to hold back until now made their way down my face.

"Would you please look at me?"

The softness and vulnerability in his voice surprised and scared me at the same time.

Slowly, I turned around, facing him now. He had dropped his emotionless mask and I saw what nobody else could see. His eyes were warm. His face was relaxed and his lips slightly open in worry. As he saw my tears he frowned and made a step forward, one hand raised as if to touch my face. Every possible emotion I had ever felt rushed through my body and I couldn't do anything else than staring at him.

Something stopped him however from coming any closer and he lowered his hand again. He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. The intensity of his gaze gave me goose bumps all over my body.

"What happened?"

His voice was mixed with worry and something I had never heard before.

"Did Derek hurt you?"

"If he hurt me?"

My voice sounded raspy and surprised. Severus confused me with his behaviour. My own feelings obviously confused my brain…

"Derek would never hurt me…" I added almost whispering.

Severus snapped out of his stare somehow and put his hands behind his back. He broke the gaze, nervously looking down.

It wasn't often that Severus was nervous or feeling awkward about something and it scared me. I wasn't used to it. Normally, he was the one calming me down in any situation but right now it was the opposite.

When he looked me in the eyes again he had composed himself but I wanted nothing more than telling him the truth about everything. I couldn't stand this any longer. I wanted to tell him about my feelings. I needed to tell him that he was my fairy-love. I needed to tell him how much I loved him so that I could at least ease my feelings a little.

Aggressively, I wiped my tears away and dried my face. My heart was racing now and I couldn't feel my body anymore. The only thing I felt was the love for the man who was looking down at me.

"I need to tell you something, Arya." Severus started as I was just about to open my mouth.

I raised a shaking hand to stop him and watched him desperately. Again, my voice wasn't much more than a pleading whisper.

"Please, let me tell you the truth first, Severus."

Severus shook his head slightly, looking away. As he turned back to me the last of his control seemed to have vanished and he was watching me with the saddest look I had ever seen.

"No, please. I don't want you to tell me."

That's it! I thought. He wants to end everything. It was as if my heart stopped beating. I couldn't breathe anymore.

"I need to tell you something, Aryanna. I wanted to tell you for a very long time." Severus shifted nervously before continuing. "If you don't want to tell me who your fairy-love is then that's fine. You have every right to especially after my stupid behaviour. But if you want to tell me I want you to know that I'd protect him with my life just like I'm protecting you because-"

Again, he stopped and gulped. For the first time since I had met him he bit his lip. Nervously, he fidgeted with his fingers and I could see how deep he pressed the nails in his skin. Before I could say anything, he opened his mouth again but no sound came out. The last self-control he had left disappeared. Never before had I seen him watching someone with such pure desperation. It made my heart only sting more…

"I… I know you'll probably hate me or be disgusted but I need to tell you." He cleared his throat again and continued a little louder. "You remember last year when the werewolf attacked you."

I nodded as if in trance, totally lost in his voice and emotions.

"When I saw you laying there on the ground I thought you were going to die and I realized… I realized that I don't know what I'd do without you in my life… And when I saw you again after this summer I hated myself for my feelings. I tried to stay away from you but I couldn't."

Severus's nervousness had completely disappeared now. He was watching me with a hopeful and scared expression at the same time. My heart on the contrary was racing and tried to process what he was telling me.

"I love you, Arya! I've always loved you but until last year I didn't realize it. I thought I loved you like a father loves his daughter but I realized that it's much more. I know how disgusting it sounds. I mean I'm your teacher, I'm older than you and I raised you… And I know you love somebody else but I swear I'll protect whoever he is... I'm only begging you not to hate me now!"

His voice cracked. I couldn't feel my body anymore. Severus loved me? He truly loved me?

"I love you, Aryanna Jackson, with all my heart!"

Slowly, my lips turned into a small smile and a few tears made their way down my cheeks. A warm prickling feeling rushed through my whole body and I stepped forward until my forehead was almost touching his chin.

"Severus I-", my voice cracked and I gulped to start again. Happily and with tears in my eyes, I looked him deeply in the eyes.

"Severus Tobias Snape." It was as if my voice was about to disappear. I couldn't say more than a few words.

"You're my fairy-love…"

Severus looked more than taken aback. His hands fell to his sides and his mouth slightly opened. He had obviously expected anything except this.

"Me?" He asked surprised in a whisper and I nodded laughing shortly.

"I love you, Severus." For a split moment, I was afraid he would turn away or leave, believing all of this being a dream. I didn't really believe it myself.

Slowly, he raised one hand and placed it gently on my cheek, his thumb caressing it softly. His lips had turned into an absentminded smile and his gaze wandered over my face.

"I love you." I whispered more to myself as if to make sure this wasn't a dream.

Severus lowered his head and gently placed his lips on mine. Butterflies erupted more wildly in my stomach and I melted into this kiss as his other hand held me close to him. I leaned into him with my hands on his chest, slowly wandering towards his neck. Severus let his tongue run over my lips begging for entrance so I opened my mouth. With my hands entangled in his hair I pulled him even closer.

Slowly and out of breath I finally pulled away and he placed another soft kiss on my lips. His nose brushed mine in a loving manner, making my whole body feel shaky again. His lips came to a rest on my forehead then he looked me in the eyes again with more love than even possible.

"I love you so much."

Severus' lips turned into a smile as I didn't react. Well, I couldn't do anything. My body didn't seem to belong to me anymore. The only thing I felt was the overwhelming happiness that blurred my mind.

Suddenly, he pulled away with an amused glint in his eyes. As his touch left me I snapped out of my trance and frowned. Please don't let this be a dream again…

With a very serious expression Severus straightened up, his left arm behind his back. My jaw fell as he bowed elegantly, holding out his right hand. His intense gaze never left my eyes.

"May I ask for this dance?"

Now, I couldn't suppress a nervous chuckle any longer. Severus' expression relaxed as he started smirking, making my stomach explode with butterflies again. Oh, how I loved this typical smirk! Grinning, I placed my hand in his and approached him.

"With great pleasure."

He led me to the middle of the Astronomy tower. I looked up just in time to catch the quick self-confident smile that rushed over his lips. The happiness radiating from him really was contagious so I allowed myself a short smile before I turned to face him properly.

No student would have believed Severus Snape being a gentleman or a good dancer. But as he turned in my direction his expression became serious again. Gently, he placed his other hand on my waist, not breaking the gaze for one second. The warmth of his hand made me shiver so I automatically stepped closer until our bodies were almost touching.

As we started dancing I totally forgot about where we were and about everything else going on at the moment. The only thing I saw were Severus' eyes that held nothing but love and warmth as our bodies moved in perfect harmony together.

When we ended this dance, Severus didn't let go of me. Under his gaze, I became nervous again and looked down, biting my lip.

"You're so beautiful." Severus started caressing my hand with his thumb. This made my nervousness fly away in a split moment. I had no reason to be nervous. I completely loved and trusted him!

A smile spread on my lips as I lifted my head again. I saw the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen. Laughing, I shook my head and raised my eyebrows provocative.

"Oh, I know."

Now, it was Severus' turn to chuckle deeply. The sound of it gave me goose bumps all over my body and I felt a wave of pride rushing through my body. Only I could make him laugh like this.

"Are you cold?" Severus asked as a cold wind on my bare skin made me shiver. He had started frowning in worry and I returned a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine, don't worry."

But Severus had already taken off his black cloak and placed around my shoulders. The strong scent of potions and Severus engulfed me and I closed my eyes to inhale it. Strong arms pulled me closer to his chest so I rested my arms against him. Smiling, I laid my head on his shoulder. Immediately, I felt Severus placing his cheek against my forehead.

His hands traced small circles on my back and I sighted in contentment. Slowly, I put my arms around his torso as I had done dozens of times before. But this time it was so much more, it was different to all our embraces. I was embracing Severus without having to hold back my love, without lying to him about my true feelings. I didn't remember when I had felt so light the last time. The weight of my lies had finally been lifted of my shoulders. I loved this man with all my heart!

The warmth and overwhelming feeling of Severus' body embracing me made me sleepy, therefore I started yawning. This time, I felt his chest vibrate as a low chuckle escaped his mouth. He brushed my forehead with his nose making me sight deeply.

"We should go. I don't want you to start freezing, Arya."

My lips turned into a smile but I refused to open my eyes or let go of him. To make my point I placed my head closer towards his chin.

"I'm completely fine here. And I'm not cold. Not anymore."

More determined now, Severus placed both his hands on my shoulders and gently pushed me back. To protect me from the cold wind I wrapped his cloak tighter around myself. As I looked back up at him he had his typical stern expression on his face. I knew it to well and sighted…

"I don't want to leave you." I mumbled, making his lips twitch upwards.

"Neither do I. What do you think about a hot chocolate?" Severus asked smiling.

"Oh, I'd love that!" I cheered like a child at Christmas and he turned his eyes in annoyance.

"Do you think you can make it to my office without anyone seeing you?"

Now it was my turn to turn my eyes.

"I've done it dozens of times. Nevertheless, you're worried about me getting caught?" I smirked at him but he didn't laugh.

In fact, he answered rather darkly and with a frown. "I'm always worried about you getting yourself into troubles, Aryanna Jackson."

I took another step closer and he watched me closely. I had taken his hands in mine and hold them tightly. Then I looked him deeply in the eyes.

"I know. But I promise I'll always be careful."

Severus stayed silent for a while and I wondered if I had said something wrong. After a moment, he blinked and sighted loudly. His lips turned back into that beautiful smile and he nodded.

"We should go now."

I nodded, then looked down at his hand. Feeling confident all the sudden, I took it and entwined our fingers. My hand was way smaller than his but it felt more than right. The corner of my mouth twitched slightly as Severus squeezed it so I looked up only to find him staring at me. We looked at each other for quite some time until another cold wind snapped me out of my trance.

"We should really go now."

Severus said smirking and I chuckled. Hand in hand we made our way towards the stairs. Before I could go down the first step, however, Severus hold me back and I turned with a quizzical expression.

"What's wrong?"

A wave of relief and amusement rushed through my whole body as I faced a smug looking Severus. He had taken his hand out of mine and raised one eyebrow provocative. He wasn't looking into my eyes but glancing down at my dress. Strictly speaking, his glance was on his cloak that was still wrapped around my shoulders to keep me a little warmer.

Chuckling, I shook my head as he started smirking.

"I suppose this is yours." Grinning now, I handed him back the cloak and in a second he had dressed himself again.

I couldn't suppress a smirk as he cast me a short arrogant sneer. After all, Severus was still a Slytherin... and I loved him for who he was.

"I think you should go first Professor or I'll have to wait in the Dungeons where Slytherins might be lurking around."

I told him with raised eyebrows and a provocative smirk. Severus only nodded and his face went back to his usual emotionless expression. Before he disappeared out of my sight he turned around again and spoke in a stern voice.

"Don't let me wait too long, Ms. Jackson."

I turned my eyes in annoyance. I had really started shivering now without his cloak and wanted nothing more than going inside.

"Just go, I'm freezing."

Chuckling deeply, Severus turned around in a swift move and left. Trying to warm me up a little, I rubbed my arms. Groaning, I waited for another two minutes until I started walking down the stairs.

Nobody was in the corridors but to my annoyance the heels sounded as if small bombs were exploding every step. As I passed the Great Hall I saw that only a few students were left to dance. I realized that I didn't even know what time it was. The time up on the Astronomy tower hadn't felt that long…

I smiled at the thought of what had just happened. I had finally told Severus that I loved him… and he loved me too. Never would I have believed it if somebody would have told me!

As I continued my way to the Dungeons a smile stayed plastered on my face. Luckily, no student was sneaking around except one pair that was too busy snogging in a dark corner to notice me pass.

A wave of excitement rushed through my body as I neared Severus' office. It seemed as if he had been waiting right behind the door, seeing as I didn't even wait two seconds until the door opened. With a small smile to myself I passed a stern looking Severus who was glancing into the dark corridor before closing the door. Awkwardly and slightly amused, I turned around to face him, biting my lip. Severus' stern expression was quickly replaced by the warm smile I loved so much and my uncomfortableness vanished as quickly as it has come.

"Come. You look as if you needed to warm up a little."

With that he led me through a door in the back of his office into his private quarters. He closed the door behind me as I stepped in a small and cosy living room.

Severus walked over to his armchair and grabbed the blanket, only to put it around my shoulders. Thankfully, I smiled at him and wrapped it tightly around myself.

"Thank you, Severus."

He caressed my cheek gently with his thumb, then placed a long kiss on my forehead.

"Make yourself comfortable."

I nodded in return and Severus walked over to an old cupboard to take off his cloak and jacket. Strangely, I was incapable of moving so I was standing in the middle of the living room and watching how Severus hung them into the cupboard. To my surprise, he wore a simple white chemise which fitted his dark eyes perfectly.

As Severus turned back around and caught me staring his lips turned into an amused smirk. Blushing furiously, I quickly lowered my gaze. I felt my head heating up in less than a second and tried to suppress the annoyed groan. Gently, Severus cupped my face in both of his hands, making me glance up nervously.

"I want you to know that I'll never force you to do anything, nor will I ever hurt you, Aryanna. I'll protect you and stay by your side no matter what."

The intense, serious look gave me goose bumps all over my body but I felt the nervousness slowly fading. Again, I nodded and smiled reassuringly. Severus relaxed as I approached and gave him a peck on the lips. I let my lips stay a little longer on his than necessary but I felt so thankful and happy.

"I'm right back." Severus told me as I released him and left through another door on the left with a small smile playing around his lips.

Smiling to myself too, I walked over to the couch and sat near the fireplace. I took off my heels and covered my legs with the blanket. Whilst Severus was busy making a hot chocolate I used the time to take a closer look at his living room. Seeing as it was in the Dungeons it had no windows but was lighten up by the fireplace and many candles. The right wall was hidden behind book shelves that let only enough space for another door. Next to the wardrobe was the last door of the living room that seemed to lead to the bathroom. As I turned my head back to the door that lead to his office I noticed a small bar with glasses and some bottles.

Chuckling, I shook my head. Severus had always had a thing for good and strong drinks, nevertheless, I had never seen him drunk. I knew he was careful about not drinking too much. He wanted to be able to defend himself at any time.

I got interrupted in my thoughts as Severus came back, a steaming cup with hot chocolate in one hand.

"There you go."

He handed me the cup over the back of the couch and turned towards his bar. I watched as he poured himself a drink, then took a seat next to me. I leaned back against his chest, his left arm holding me close to him. Carefully, I placed my legs on his, trying not to spill the chocolate.

As I had made myself comfortable I looked up only to see Severus staring down on me absentminded. Quizzical, I raised my eyebrows.

"What?"

Severus snapped out of his trance and shook his head grinning.

"Oh, I just thought about what your mother would say when she could see us right now."

I looked down on the cup in my hands and tried to figure her in my head but I couldn't. I didn't remember her enough to know what she would have said now.

"Do you think she would be angry with us?"

I asked quietly and to my surprise Severus started laughing. Honestly, I didn't understand what was so funny right now. Still chuckling, he looked at me and shook his head.

"Everything she told me makes sense now. She knew all along that we'd end up together so the answer's definitely no…"

I couldn't suppress a laugh myself as Severus tried to calm down. He emptied his glass at once and placed it on the table. Smirking wildly, he looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, maybe she would've been angry too but only because we've both been to stubborn to admit our feelings right away. I can still picture her lecturing me about how annoyingly stubborn I am."

Severus' expression had become distant and I knew he was thinking about my mother who had been as close to him as I was to Draco. They had been more than just best friends, they had been like brother and sister.

Gently, I took his hand and entwined our fingers. He looked me deeply in the eyes.

"To be honest, I can't imagine anyone lecturing you and getting away with it."

I grinned and he was back to his old self. Laughing he took the empty cup out of my hands and placed it next to his glass. Automatically, I snuggled closer and he put his arms around me.

"She was the only one who would get away with it, except you of course. We would always end up laughing or screaming at each other."

Severus' expression turned warm and serious as he started caressing my hand with his thumb.

"Your mother would be happy to see us together. She always wanted you to be happy."

I was lost in his dark eyes. My heart started racing as Severus leaned closer and his lips brushed mine. Slowly, he brought his hand up to my hair and pulled me closer as I deepened the kiss. A strong wave of love and excitement rushed through my whole body.

As his lips left mine, Severus rested with his forehead against mine. I felt him breathing against my face and smiled with closed eyes. Gently, Severus took me in a loving embrace and I rested my head on his shoulder.

We stayed like this for a while until I felt myself becoming sleepy. This evening had been long…

"Severus?"

"Yes?"

I lifted my head to look into his eyes. They were full of happiness and love and I couldn't look away.

"Can I stay here with you?"

At this Severus' gaze wandered off to the fireplace. I felt nervous all the sudden. Maybe he didn't want me here over night? As he spoke up his voice was quiet.

"When you arrived in Hogwarts for your first year Albus made me read my whole contract again. He wanted me to understand that I wouldn't be allowed to take you into my private chambers, no matter what."

Severus watched me now and I noticed the trace of fear in his eyes.

"It's against the law for a teacher being in a relationship with his student. You need to know this if you really want to be with me."

I didn't know where this came from but I laughed shortly, shaking my head in disbelief. I took his hand in mine and held it tightly.

"Nobody can ever take me away from you, not even the minister himself, Severus. And what could Dumbledore possibly do about me being here for one evening? He always favoured you and he won't fire you because of us."

Severus remained silent for a while, then started grinning all the sudden.

"Gryffindors and Slytherins are known for breaking the rules, aren't they?"

I laughed and he grinned arrogantly in my direction, obviously pleased with himself about making me laugh.

"By the way, I won't leave and tell every soul I meet that I've been in here with you. So how should Dumbledore know?"

Severus became serious, he almost looked annoyed.

"Albus always seems to know everything most of the time…" He replied grumpy and I couldn't suppress a smile.

"Well, this time he won't."

Severus sighted deeply and I turned my eyes at his act. Suddenly, he smiled at me, giving me goose bumps again.

"So, would you really like to stay here with me?"

"I'd love to!"

Severus took out his wand and with a flick the empty glass and cup disappeared. As he stood up I sighted loudly. It had been so comfortable on the couch together…

Severus gave me one hand to help me up and entwined our fingers. Smiling, he led me through the door under his book shelves and we arrived in a small bedroom with a king-sized bed. One wall was covered with book shelves, whilst the other only had one door.

"This door leads to my bathroom. I suppose you need something to sleep in?"

Severus didn't wait for me to answer. He turned around to a big wardrobe and took something out. I smiled to myself as Severus turned again. With an apologetic look on his face he offered me something that looked like a shirt.

"I hope this fits you. I'm afraid my pyjama trousers won't so I can only offer you a shirt."

I took it out of his hands and returned my gaze to him with a smile.

"Don't worry. That's perfect."

Severus chuckled and I left to use the bathroom. Exhaling deeply, I looked at myself in the mirror and was surprised at how happy I seemed to be. If people saw me they would definitely know something had happened to me.

Well, Severus has happened to me. I thought with a grin and started to undress myself. I decided to keep my panties on with the shirt. It only reached the middle of my thighs so I wouldn't feel so undressed.

With a last glance in the mirror I took a deep breath and opened the door to the bedroom. Severus was already in bed and waiting for me. Confidently, I walked over to the other side of his bed and climbed in. Luckily, Severus didn't see my face as I noticed that he had no shirt on, only pyjama trousers. Quickly, I hid my grin and lay down with my head on his chest. He held me close to him with one hand whilst the other played with my fingers.

"Thank you for letting me stay."

I said with closed eyes and I could literally hear his grin. I knew him only too well…

"I'm glad you asked because I didn't dare. I didn't want to pressure you."

That made me grin too and I lifted my head to look him in the eyes.

"Nobody can pressure me, Severus. Especially not you."

Severus chuckled and I felt a cold shiver running down my spine. His laugh gave me goose bumps all over my body. I laid my head back down and yawned all the sudden.

"Maybe we should discuss this tomorrow."

I hummed as an answer and with one flick of his wand, Severus turned off the lights and I snuggled closer. Severus' arms were around my body and kept me warm. I felt Severus lips against my forehead and smiled into his chest.

"I love you, Arya."

Severus whispered and I felt my butterflies waking up in my stomach again. I lifted my head only to place my lips on his for a short kiss.

"I love you too."

With a smile on my lips I laid my head back down and closed my eyes, falling asleep right away.