42

42. My brother – the Slytherin

I had difficulties opening my eyes again. They felt so incredibly heavy but there was also a bright light, burning in my eyes. Blinking, I opened and closed them several times. After a few moments, my vision became sharper again. As my eyes adjusted to the shining, I looked around. I wasn't in Severus's classroom anymore… I was in the infirmary. Why am I here?

Slowly, I sat up and spotted a glass with water on the nightstand. I attempted to take it with my left hand but as I closed my fingers around it a sharp pain erupted in my forearm. I yelped and water splashed on my hand as I dropped it again. "Bloody hell!" Cursing, I took a closer look at my arm but there was nothing…

Taking the glass carefully with my other hand now, I downed it and moved further to sit on the edge of the bed. My shoes were standing next to it. I looked around again but no one was in sight. Sighing, I carefully stood on my feet and found myself standing quite steady. I needed to see Severus!

When I had put them on, I made my way towards the door which was wide open. I jumped as Madame Pomfrey rushed around the corner suddenly. The moment she saw me, her look turned to a glare and she walked even faster.

"Ms. Jackson, how are you feeling? You should have waited for me before you get out of bed. Come, you need to sit down."

And with that she dragged me to the nearest chair for me to sit down. Confused, still trying to remember what had happened, I turned to her. My voice sounded raspy and my throat stung a little.

"What happened? Why am I here?"

She pressed another glass with water in my hand and under her stern watch I obediently drank it. "We had hoped you could tell us. Professor Snape brought you in here yesterday near to unconsciousness. He said he found you in the Dungeons in a deserted corridor."

My eyes widened in surprise. Now, I was really confused… Crying in Severus' classroom was the last thing I remembered. But I couldn't tell her that of course.

"I don't remember…" She looked thoughtful at my reply. "Madame Pomfrey, did you just say he brought me here yesterday?"

"Yes, I did. Professor Snape gave you a sleeping draught so that you would be able to rest. You were shaking badly and not reacting to any address." She gave me an intense, meaningful look.

I needed to speak with Severus now. I needed to know what had happened… despite him being angry of course. "I need to speak with Professor Snape." I blurted out and stood up but a hand on my shoulder stopped me.

"He is most certainly already in class. I just came back from breakfast. Besides, you do not leave this room before you haven't had breakfast. So, get back to your bed and wait for a house elf to bring you something."

She pushed me off towards my bed and I sighed in defeat. Nevertheless, curiosity and nervousness were throbbing in my chest. I needed to speak with him, I needed to know what had happened!

Half an hour later, I was finally allowed to leave the infirmary. But not without a severe warning to take it slow and to pay Severus a visit. I rolled my eyes as I left the infirmary.

"Oh and Ms. Jackson." Madame Pomfrey called after me. I turned back to her. "I hope I don't have to tell you not to skip your classes today…" With that she left me standing in the hallway as she entered her office.

"Of course not…" I mumbled sarcastically to myself. Enjoying the piece and calm in the corridors, I made my way to my common room to get my bag.

"No! No, no, no. Merlin, please no…" I whined when I cast a quick glance at my watch. Defence against the Dark Arts had just started. Which meant that I couldn't possibly skip it without getting in trouble. If I would have known what time it was when I had woken up in the infirmary I had surely wasted more time there…

Reluctant and as slowly as possible, I walked to the classroom I hated the most this year. I wished I would never reach it but of course I did anyway. As I arrived in the corridor of Moody's classroom, I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against the cold wall. My hands automatically found their way into my hair. I couldn't go in there… I couldn't face him again and play nice.

After a few deep breaths and several growls, I pushed myself from the wall and made the last remaining step until I was finally facing the door. I am the daughter of the most feared wizard of this century for Merlin's sake! I cursed myself. If you can face him you can face that bloody auror in there as well.

Reluctantly, I raised my hand and knocked. I jumped as the door opened suddenly by itself. Every student's face was turned in my direction. But I did not return their stares though. A brown and bright blue eye let me freeze in my spot.

"Ah, Ms. Jackson. Professor McGonagall informed me about your stay in the hospital wing."

Gulping, I forced my flabby legs to bring me to the usual desk. And stopped dead in my tracks a few heartbeats later. The seat next to Hermione was already taken… I felt utterly overtaxed now. I was already troubled enough with my inner fight to keep myself from running out of the room.

"Sit down, Jackson. Malfoy has no partner yet." With that he averted his gaze to go back to whatever he had been doing before I had interrupted. I felt better right away and let out a sigh of relief. Looking for the striking bleach blond hair of my brother, I quickly found him seated in the middle of the classroom. Great! I hate sitting in the centre…

I felt his eyes on me as I pulled my book out and prepared some parchment. Draco just stared at me. Look away, you idiot. People will notice. The constant and direct gaze told me however that he wouldn't look away anytime soon. After all, he had managed to take the art of multitasking to perfection. I started to take notes about what Moody was saying. Even if I would never tell Draco that but I was kind of glad to be distracted by his fixing pierce.

Seconds became minutes and Draco was still watching me most of the time. His look only left me when he wrote something down as well but other than that he soon felt incredibly… pesky. My brother was a thick-headed person who would get his way sooner or later. It was his talent to find the one right way to make people do exactly what he wanted. Even if it meant to spend days, weeks or months with subtle and well guised manipulation. The sorting hat had been right to place him in Slytherin…

Well, it would have been easy for me if he was acting like that to me as well. But seeing as I knew his character almost as well as mine, he knew he couldn't fool me. Besides, he would never dare manipulating those he cared for! Hence, he used another way with me – direct confrontation because he hated being left in the dark. Therefore, he would surely manage to corner me after this class even if I tried to hide. After all, he always got what he wanted in the end.

As deeply as I loved Draco and admired his urge for his loved ones to be safe and happy, the problem was that he was too much of a bullhead to have the patience to wait for a discreet moment sometimes. Like right now, when he did not stop staring daggers at me openly in class. People would notice sooner or later or worse – Moody.

I let out a deep breath and growled irritated under my breath. Draco shifted next to me, knowing that I was about to give in. I simply couldn't resist and ignore him any longer. I finally returned his gaze subtly and showed him a small smile. I'm fine! Draco only raised one eyebrow in return, making me roll my eyes. Smirking, Draco returned his attention back to his notes. Trying to disguise my amusement, I blew out my cheeks and started drawing on my parchment. I got interrupted as a small piece of parchment landed on my notes.

What happened?

Nothing! Don't worry. I watched around but nobody was paying us any attention. Moody was still speaking about defensive spells and how they can be used effectively. Quickly, I pushed the scribbled note back to my brother who barely cast a glance at it before he wrote something else. Before I could even go back to my drawing the paper was back.

Sneaky liar. What happened?

I furrowed my eyebrows and clenched my jaw. Scowling at Draco, I slowly shook my head in his direction. My thoughts weren't focused on our lesson or Draco anymore. Instead, I was thinking about the fight Severus and I had had yesterday. Could I even call it a fight? I really was a sneaky liar… Once again, guilt crashed down on me with full force. I blinked away the stinging in my eyes. Frustrated, I ran a hand through my hair and bit my bottom lip. Surely, Severus wouldn't want to talk to me again anytime soon. He had said so after all. And to be honest, I deserved and understood his anger and disappointment. I had stolen something… I had stolen from him…

Hold on, he accused me of stealing ingredients for Polyjuice Potion this year. Somebody is brewing Polyjuice Potion. I racked my brain about a realistic solution but found none. Why should someone brew Polyjuice Potion in the first place? Severus did mention it happened twice… In the beginning of the year and now again…

I was snapped out of my thoughts again when my brother nudged my arm. Annoyed, I cast him a questioning look. Of course, he did not like being ignored. The small piece of parchment had something new written on it. Draco's sneer warned me that I most likely wouldn't like it.

Had a row with your boyfriend?

Again, I scowled darkly in his direction, making his sneer only grow wider. Damn, Slytherins! I thought to myself. Now he would definitely corner me after class and I couldn't even run away. We had Transfigurations together afterwards. Sighing, I concentrated on my doodling again, my thoughts soon drifting away again.

It has to be the same person who's stealing it otherwise it would be an incredibly unrealistic coincidence if two persons were brewing it in secret. But what for? Academic purpose? Surely not. Who would like to turn into another person?

Defeated, I exhaled deeply. There were way too many new people in Hogwarts this year to check on all of them. And what if it's just some stupid fangirl who wants to get close to Viktor Krum…? My tired brain concluded in a final attempt. Smirking to myself, I quickly dismissed the idea. That would be one hell of a crush…

"Jackson!" I jumped as the growling voice of Mad-Eye Moody cut sharply through my thoughts.

To my horror, he stood next to my desk and was firmly looking at me. Slowly, darkness radiating from every single of his pores engulfed me and I shuttered. I clenched my jaw tightly as my whole body tensed in reflex. Pain erupted in my forearm once again, making me flinch. As subtle as possible, I grabbed it with my hand and bore my nails deeply into my sleeve. Moody's fake eye whirled rapidly to my sudden movement and his lips turned into an ugly grin.

"I know you spent the night in the hospital wing. None the less, I want you to pay attention at all times! I'll let it slip only this time Jackson, got it?" And with that he turned around and limped back to his desk.

I glared hatefully at his retreating back, earning a confused look from Draco and Blaise who had turned around as well. Ignoring them, I scowled down at my notes. I hated that man so much! But nobody could understand it. Nobody knew what I meant when I was speaking about him feeling evil because no one else could sense it…

And then realization hit me, whipping my brain of every other thought. My head snapped up rapidly to Moody. What if someone is walking around freely, disguised as another person?

"Question, Jackson?" Moody asked, looking straight into my eyes.

It took me a moment to realize what he had said. And when it finally sank in, I couldn't speak properly anymore. "No." I said barely more than a whisper. With wide eyes, I was staring at him horrified by my sudden realization. Moody growled annoyed in response and turned away.

What reason could that person possibly have? Can it be a student who desperately wants to enter the tournament? No, surely the Triwizard cup would recognize it anyway. And furthermore, there's no guaranty that the student would be elected anyway. So why? Who would profit from being in Hogwarts this year?

My thoughts got interrupted once again as the bell rang, ending our lesson. Obviously, my thinking had lasted longer than I would have guessed. Still lost in thoughts, I packed my bag and left the classroom. I needed to speak with Severus even if he did not want to see me. A firm grip on my arm made me wince once again and I turned around. I expected to see my brother but found myself looking at Hermione instead.

"Arya, are you okay? What happened to you? You never came back from your… walk yesterday. And Snape said he found you in the Dungeons when we visited you in the hospital wing." She watched me closely with worry in her eyes. Ron and Harry had reached my side as well.

Furrowing my eyebrows, I started climbing the stairs. "I don't know what happened… I mean I don't know how I ended up in the Dungeons to be honest." I glanced around if there were students close and turned around to my friends. "I went to see… well, him… but that's all I remember. I don't know what happened or how I ended up in the Dungeons though."

Harry watched me curiously while Ron looked rather dumbfounded. I could see Hermione's brain working quickly about reasonable solutions. Suddenly, I spotted bleach blonde hair coming up the stairs and I cursed under my breath. Before I could turn away however, I found my eyes locked with determined looking grey ones.

"Bloody hell! We have to go now or we'll be late for Transfigurations." Not waiting for an answer, I whirled around and continued my way hastily. I heard the sound of following steps behind me.

"You're not really worried about Transfigurations, are you?" Hermione said suspiciously, walking next to me. I cast her a quick glance and knew immediately that she knew something was wrong. "Look, does this has to do with Malfoy? Because you were practically running from him down there. And I saw him staring at you during class. By the way, you should try passing notes less conspicuously. What is going on between the two of you?"

I stopped horrified and watched her with wide eyes. Before the boys could catch up, I quickly started walking again. I felt Hermione's questioning look on me the whole time. I clenched my jaw and tightened the grip on my bag.

"And don't tell me it's nothing because I know there's something. You are acting strange around him but Malfoy as well whenever he's with you... Now, that I think about it, you've always been acting weird around him..."

I quickly turned to her and pleaded her to stop talking with an intense look. I answered her in a quiet voice to keep unwanted listeners away. "Please, Hermione don't speak so loudly about this!" I let out a deep breath and glanced nervously around the corridor. My brother was nowhere to be seen for the moment. Then I turned back to look desperately at my best friend. "You're right. Something is going on. I swear I'll tell you but not here and not now! And please, do not tell anyone. Not Harry, nor Ron. No one can know!"

Hermione nodded enthusiastically, satisfied for now to get an answer. If my bookworm friend hated something, then it were unanswered questions. Nodding back, we finally continued our way to Professor McGonagall's classroom.

When we entered, our head of house cast me a stern look and I quickly made my way to my seat. Groaning, I laid my head on the desk and closed my eyes. I had a headache and felt terribly tired. The fight with Severus and all the thinking this morning had already been enough for the whole day. I was actually very worried about the Polyjuice Potion situation. If someone stole twice it means that said person is using a lot of it…

"Not running from me, are you Arya?" Draco's quiet voice next to my ear made me jump. He chuckled as I watched him shocked. I looked around the room and saw that Hermione was sitting at the desk in front of me and watching us pointedly. Her gaze flickered to Draco and she raised her eyebrows questioning at me. Professor McGonagall was casting a short, surprised glance in our direction, making me turn to my brother and scowl at him darkly.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?!" I whisper yelled at him. The more than self-confident and big-headed Slytherin of a brother however, unpacked his bag without ruffle or excitement.

Then, when he had prepared everything for our lesson, he finally looked at me with the most annoying smirk possible. I glared in response but of course it did not affect him at all. "I think I'm taking my class in Transfigurations."

I snorted and averted my gaze. Now it was the poor raven sitting on Professor McGonagall's desk I was shooting daggers at. "Git…" I spat angrily.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Draco turning around to the desk behind us. After a few moments, he had still not turned around again and curiosity got the best of me so I turned around as well. Blaise was looking from Draco to me and smirking wildly. Annoyed, I rolled my eyes and concentrated back on Professor McGonagall who was just starting our lesson. At least Draco wouldn't bother me in this class or in my thinking…

Like presumed, my brother could not annoy me under the stern watch of our Professor. Neither could I return to my thoughts unnoticed. In fact, I was called out twice for staring into space. Luckily, my multitasking was on such a high level that I could answer the questions without any problems.

After double Transfigurations, I rushed out of the room and left my friends telling them that I needed to talk to Professor Snape. The closer I came to his classroom however the faster my heart pounded in my chest. Guilt and shame had come back the second I had left the classroom. My legs felt flabby once again and I felt utterly reluctant suddenly…

A firm grip on my arm stopped me and dragged me in a nearby empty room. Surprised, I whirled around and found myself face to face with Blaise and Draco. My shoulders dropped and I exhaled loudly. Draco's smirk had left his face, instead he was watching me with a stern expression. Blaise had crossed his arms and was looking serious for once.

"What happened?" Draco repeated once again with furrowed eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes and returned an annoyed gaze. "I told you, Draco. Nothing."

Blaise scoffed and I glanced at him. "People don't skip dinner or spend the night in the infirmary for nothing. So, what happened yesterday?"

I sighed again and stared at my brother who scowled deeply at me. Defeated, I finally raised my hands, not in the mood for another fight. "Fine. I went to see Severus and we had… he got furious with me."

Draco raised his head at that and his gaze became worried. Blaise shifted from one leg to the other, eyebrows in a deep frown. "Why?"

I lowered my head and scratched my arm absentminded. "I did a huge mistake… I don't want to talk about it though. He has every right to be angry." Hurt and guilt traced my quiet voice.

"So how did you end up in the hospital wing then?" Blaise asked softly. I bit my bottom lip nervously. "He… didn't hurt you, did he?" My head snapped back up and I stared at him with great confusion.

"No!" I shouted in response and winced at my own aggressive exclamation. "Of course not! It's not his fault I blacked out without any reason."

"You blacked out?" Draco looked confused. "Why would you faint just like that?"

I bit the inside of my cheek and stared at the stormy eyes of my brother. I wondered whether I should tell them or not…

"It's my arm…" The grip around my left forearm tightened. "It hurts sometimes since the beginning of this school year. It first started in Moody's class and happened again since then. Sometimes, it's only stinging a bit and then it's burning as if it was on fire. Yesterday, I was already so overwhelmed by our fight and then there was the sudden unbearable pain in my arm. That's the last thing I remember. But Madame Pomfrey told me this morning that Severus found me in the Dungeons. I have no idea how I got there though…" I ended thoughtfully.

As I looked up, Draco and Blaise were watching me confused. My brother cast a quick glance at my tensed arm while Blaise furrowed his eyebrows, deeply lost in thoughts.

"Don't you think, Snape said that to cover up that you were actually with him when it happened?" Blaise interrupted the following silence. I squinted my eyes and then mentally scowled myself.

"Of course! …I'm so stupid." I groaned annoyed at my own stupidity.

"I'll remind you of that in time…" Obviously, my brother had no decency or manners at all. I intended to glare at Draco but when I saw him chuckling to himself I could not suppress a smirk.

It changed quickly in a scowl however, as I remembered something. Accusingly, I raised my hand and pointed at his chest with one finger. "You bloody idiot have to stop running after me. Hermione did notice your behaviour in Defence against the dark arts and Transfigurations."

Draco sneered arrogantly. "If you'd stop running from me I wouldn't have to run after you!"

I scoffed and glared warningly at my brother who tilted his head provocative. "You don't get it, do you? Damn it, Draco, she's not stupid. She knows something is going on since she saw us all together during the Yule Ball. I practically gave her my word to tell her the truth."

"Well, sorry for caring about you!" Draco snapped angrily and took a step closer. "And nobody forced you to give her your word. So, don't you dare blaming me!"

I clenched my jaw in disbelief and turned away before I would say something I could regret later. My blood was boiling inside my whole body. "She's my best friend!" I shouted frustrated, whirling around again. "You don't know how it feels to lie to her or Harry or Ron. You don't have to keep secrets from Blaise or Derek!"

Draco's face turned blank and he raised his head a little. His dark glare told me that he would most certainly not give in anytime soon. "Oh, please." Draco laughed coldly. "Don't give me that shit, Arya! Your friends should be happy that they can spend time with you, that they can visit you in the infirmary, that they can speak with you whenever they like. I'm your brother but cannot even sit with you in class for once? Your excuse is pathetic!"

"Pathetic?!" I yelled, not believing what he had said. My voice raised with every sentence. "Do you think it's easy for me to ignore you? Do you think I like that my friends hate you? Don't you think, I know how this feels?"

My brother's face contorted with anger as he started shouting as well. "You don't know how this feels! You don't have to pretend to be someone else! And if you really mean so much to your friends, then they should accept the whole truth. Otherwise, they don't deserve you or-"

"Draco!" Blaise interrupted him sharply. Unimpressed, he returned Draco's glare and shook his head warningly. My brother furrowed his eyebrows and scowled intensely at his best friend before finally breaking the gaze and crossing his arms. Blaise let out a deep breath and looked from him to me with a calculating expression. Draco and I were shooting daggers at each other, neither wanted to be the one to break the gaze.

"I understand you're both frustrated. But shouting at each other is not going to change anything. So, if you could take a break for a minute and think about everything I'm sure you'll find this argument being pretty useless as well." Blaise crossed his arms patiently as both glares were now boring into his eyes. Instead, he only raised one eyebrow questioning.

"Shut up or I'll make you, Blaise!" Draco growled in return the same time I answered: "Safe your peace crap!"

Blaise chuckled and rolled his eyes at us. "Fine but only if you give it a rest." He cast Draco a piercing look. "Draco you know damn well that she's protecting you from your own family. She considers you her brother. And you know her way better than her Gryffindor friends by the way so quit your jealousy." My brother's look darkened but Blaise had already turned his annoyed gaze to me. "And you, don't forget that you're part of Draco's real family. Maybe it's good for your friend Granger to know about us so that Draco can at least be himself in font of one of your friends." I scoffed and scowled at my dark-skinned friend.

With that he ended his lecture and smirked proudly at us. Then he strutted to the nearest chair and let himself flop down, resting his crossed legs on the desk. "Now, feel free to do whatever you like. Resume your completely unnecessary argument or waste your time glaring at each other." Blaise pulled out his wand and started exercising spells, leaving Draco and me to ourselves.

A long silence followed in which I looked everywhere but at my brother. Stubbornly, I crossed my arms and clenched my jaw. I could wait this out as long as we needed to, so I patiently stood still. My anger had almost vanished now and I started feeling uncomfortable about our fight. But nevertheless, I refused to admit it just yet. If Draco wanted peace, then he would have to swallow his Slytherin pride for once and make the first step. After all, he had started the whole situation today…

I wanted to walk around to make my legs feel more comfortable. I hated standing without being able to move. I didn't want to move though or Draco would take it as a sign of impatience and I definitely wasn't. Therefore, I concentrated on my breathing to keep myself occupied. I tried to lower my heart rate by breathing regularly and slowly.

I got interrupted by an annoyed exhale of breath from my brother. He mumbled something under his breath and I turned my attention to him. Inwardly, I felt relieved that he had given in first and felt a wave of pride rush through my body. I wanted to smirk but forced myself to stare at Draco emotionless. "What was that?"

My brother growled and glared half-heartedly at me. Arrogantly, he unfolded his tense arms and raised his head. "I'm sorry." I ignored his snappy tone and concentrated on the annoyance in his voice.

I frowned in faked confusion as it took all my willpower to keep myself from smirking smugly. "Sorry but I didn't catch that. What did you mumble?"

Draco's glare darkened as his expression contorted in an undeniably annoyed expression of defeat. "I said, I'm sorry!" He almost yelled now.

All the tension left my body when I finally allowed my lips to turn into a wide, arrogant smirk. Laughing inwardly, I watched as the expression on his face changed as he realized that I had just played with him. Growling, my brother clenched his jaw and averted his gaze.

I started chuckling and earned another dark look, so I tried to refrain myself from laughing. I took a few deep breaths to become serious again. Then I returned a sheepish look at my brother who was still glaring at me.

"I'm sorry too. I really shouldn't have blamed you for Hermione's smart brain. I suppose it was our fault that she became suspicious though." I fidgeted nervously with my hands and glanced up through my eyelashes. Draco stared at me for a while, making the last hint of amusement leave my body and being replaced with nervousness instead.

"Well, you don't have another choice now than telling her, have you." He stated sarcastically.

I shook my head in response and raised my head. "No, obviously not."

Draco sighed and let his gaze wander around thoughtfully until it finally landed on me again. "And you really trust her to understand… us?"

"Yes, I do. I trust her with my life. And even if she shouldn't understand it, she would never tell anyone if I asked her not to." I replied firmly and Draco seemed satisfied.

"Then I agree to it." He said after a while and looked at me intensely. "Just make sure you don't expect her to like me or Blaise afterwards."

I rolled my eyes and nodded. "Of course not." I smirked suddenly. "Although, it would be great! Do you think you could like her?"

Now it was Draco's turn to roll his eyes. But his lips twitched upwards in a mischievous grin. "Like her? I reckon I could… I'm sure I could love her too. Maybe Weasley would find the guts to make his move then."

Blaise snorted, trying to suppress a laugh but as soon as Draco started laughing he couldn't hold back any longer. My mouth fell open and I watched them in disbelief. After a moment, I composed myself again however, and glared warningly at my brother. I took a step closer and placed one finger on his chest.

"You, Draco Malfoy, careful there! That's my best friend you're talking about. I don't care who you play around with as long as you don't break hearts or end relationships. But my best friend is out of reach unless she should suddenly declare her dying love for you. Clear?"

Draco chuckled, trying to hold back his laugher, and cast me a very smug smirk. "Crystal."

I returned a satisfied smile as pride warmed my heart. "Great."

Draco raised his eyebrow at me as we kept our gaze locked. His eyes sparkled in amusement and the smirk on his lips grew wider. As I kept staring at him, my previous excitement and happiness returned. Suddenly, I found myself chuckling whilst shaking my head in disbelief. Blaise' laughing in the background wasn't helping either so the three of us were soon laughing loudly together.

"Well then. I believe you were on your way to see your boyfriend before, weren't you?" Blaise was the first to be able to speak again.

In less than a second, my amusement had died down and I was scowling. "If he wants to see me..." I mumbled under my breath.

"Why wouldn't he? He's desperately in love with you. He'll forgive you the second he sees you again." Draco reassured me chuckling and pulled me in a tight embrace.

I rested my chin on his shoulder and closed my eyes in content. What if he really throws me out of his room this time? What if he's acting cold and careless again? Whimpering, I buried my face in the crook of Draco's neck.

"You'll be fine, I promise." My brother spoke softly into my ear and I sighed.

After one last deep breath, I pulled back and cast them a half-hearted smile. "If you think so…"

"We know so!" Blaise confirmed me with a warm smile and opened the door.

With a last thankful glance, I left and continued my way to Severus' classroom. With every step my fear of rejection grew until I found myself standing in the corridor, starring at the open door. My legs felt incredibly flabby and my hands were trembling badly now. I gulped for the tenth time now and forced my legs to move to the doorway.

Severus was obviously just done cleaning up after his last class. With a flick of his wand, several roles of parchment vanished from his desk and he turned to the door. As he saw me standing in the doorway however, he stopped dead in his track and stared at me with a cold expression.

I knew, Severus would never do the first step if he believed to be right in an argument. He would rather give up on a person than letting it pass without an apology. Therefore, I had mentally braced myself for several possible reactions to my apology. What I did not expect however, was him turning his back to me and making his way to the store room where he kept the ingredients for classes.

Biting the inside of my cheek, I closed the door and stepped further into the classroom. My whole body felt as if I would faint again soon. My brain had difficulties forming sentences and my body seemed to betray me seeing as I could not follow Severus.

Then Severus rushed out of the store room again and the door closed with a loud noise behind him. He crossed his arms and pierced me with his look. My heart jumped at the emotionless and distant expression in his eyes. I gulped again as a wave of coldness rushed through my body and squeezed tightly on my heart.

"Severus, I'm so sorry for lying and stealing from you!" I said into the uncomfortable silence and mentally cursed my shaking voice "I know… You have every right to be angry. I broke your trust and I hurt you and for that I'm so incredibly sorry… I'm not here to beg for your forgiveness… I just want to know what happened yesterday…" My voice broke and I lowered my gaze again as heat rushed to my face. I shouldn't have come here. I didn't know if I could bare another of his outbursts.

"I don't know." Severus' cold voice cut through the dungeon's room. "You suddenly clutched your arm tightly and seemed to be in great pain. But then you were crying and looked more as if your emotions got the best of you. You hadn't fainted yet but didn't react to me either. Your body was trembling, so I gave you a calming draught and you fell asleep. I immediately brought you to Madame Pomfrey then."

My heart warmed up a little and my heartbeat slowed down. I let out a breath of relief as I nervously fidgeted with my fingers. "Thank you." I spoke quietly and shortly returned his gaze. Pain overwhelmed me once again all the sudden but not from my arm. All my feelings about what I had done to Severus returned in the blink of an eye. I had hurt him, I had betrayed him, I had broken his trust… I blinked several times and gulped to be able to do what I needed to do.

"I'll be going then, I guess." My head lowered heavily and my hand clutched tightly on my bag, I walked towards the door.

"Arya, wait." I stopped dead in my tracks, shocked about his unexpected reaction. Was he going to scream at me now? Slowly, I turned around again and shyly lifted my head to meet his gaze. To my surprise his eyes held a very small trace of care and warmth in them, but also great pain.

"I'm still angry and I refuse to forget what you did." My heart froze almost painfully at his determined words and I dropped my tensed shoulders. "But I apologize for leaving you alone with your current problems. I should have been by your side."

Confused and surprised, I locked eyes again and saw regret in Severus' dark eyes. Then, suddenly, he moved closer and stopped right in front of me. I drunk in the warmth in his eyes and instantly my whole body seemed to relax. Slowly, Severus raised his fist and opened it. I saw a small flask, filled with a bright, white liquid.

"It's a sleeping draught specifically for you. A small sip should be sufficient for a restful sleep." Severus' expression turned softer and his eyes bore deeply into mine. Warmth spread through my heart and my lips lifted in a thankful smile.

"Thank you, Severus." I felt amazed and surprised. Maybe he would forgive me anytime soon… "Well… uhm, I should go now." With a last small smile in his direction, I left towards the door. A part of me wished for him to call me back again but my brain knew he would not do that. Nevertheless, the fear in my heart had vanished and was replaced by great relief.

It was only when the door closed noisily behind me that I thought about the Polyjuice Potion again. I had wanted to speak with him about it. Groaning deeply, I thought about going back inside but my heart told me not to do it. Perhaps Severus would not welcome me back inside to speak about exactly what had made him angry in the first place.

Sighing, I slowly made my way to lunch, once again racking my brain about Polyjuice Potion. Obviously, that was all I could think about today…