Drew's Train of Thoughts

Drew's POV

"Hey Drew?" A petite voice outside the door of my room broke the miserable trance I was immersed in. "Can I come in?" The voice, which I was already familiar with, asked.

Knowing that it was Maybelle, I quickly wiped some leftover tears on my face, scrambled on my bed as quick as I could and tried my best to compose myself.

I just don't want her to see me so vulnerable.

It's been two days since my grandfather died. His death had really struck me hard. My mom mentioned last night that we will hold my grandfather's burial tomorrow at our home city in LaRousse and instead of helping up with the packing downstairs, I just wasted my oh-so-precious-and-valuable time trying to calm myself down, again.

"Just come in." I replied, making sure that there were no traces of dried tears on my face.

I saw the knob turn slowly and the door slowly creaked open. I don't know why but it took a while before May's head popped out. And as soon as I saw her, I spontaneously smiled - she had a cookie in her mouth.

"Is that a cookie?" I asked as I got off of bed and stood up.

She tried to articulate a word but then the cookie almost fell from her lips. She shuddered from shock and sighed in relief that the cookie stayed in its place, and then she nodded. I was about to ask why couldn't she just hold the cookie but then what I saw next answered that question immediately - she was holding a plate of freshly baked cookies.

No wonder I could smell honey even from this distance.

"Why are you bringing food here?" I asked and went to her and took the plates for her comfort.

She swallowed one big bite before answering. "I wanted to cheer you up!" She answered with a big smile, her lips heavily decorated with cookie crumbles.

"I thought you were gonna tease me." I jested. "And you know I'm not a big fan of sweets." I amused. I placed the plates beside my alarm clock on my bedside table.

"I know." She answered knowingly before gobbling up what was left of the food in her hand. "But every time I get sad Mom gives me food. That always cheer me up."

"Hm?"

"I thought it would also cheer you up." She smiled. "Because how would you cheer me up if you're not cheered up?"

"That barely made any sense May." I chuckled.

"No, it does make a lot of sense!" She argued and went ahead and grabbed another cookie. "And who wouldn't be happy to eat cookies?" She said a matter-of-factly, adorning her lips even more with cookie crumbles.

"Come here for a sec." I inched closer, ignoring her previous claim. "You really are such a messy eater." I wiped the area around her mouth with my hands, wiping away those crumbles. "You're supposed to be ten, not five."

I expected her to give a smart retort about what I just said but she only chuckled.

"Here have a bite." She took her face free from my grasp and offered.

"I told you I don't like sweets." I answered.

"Awe." She pouted and looked down. "Then how am I supposed to cheer you up then?"

Seeing her pout immediately made me give in.

"Okay, okay." I sighed in defeat as I gave in to her idea of cheering me up. "I'll only have a small-"

"Here!" She cut me off by holding up a large piece of cookie in front of me.

The smell of honey intensified that I irked. My stomach immediately churned in an unpleasant way. The size of that thing must be super duper extra large. It was as huge as my hand stretched open!

"I can't possibly finish this!" I exclaimed. "I'll just take a bite, a small bite."

"Just a small bite?!" She answered incredulously. "That's too small to make someone happy! Especially your case!" She wailed her hands.

"B-but, I told you already I'm not-"

I wasn't able to articulate any kind of word for a pastry product I wasn't a big fan of was already working its way down my esophagus.

"So are you all cheered up now?" She asked, grinning like a toddler. "I told you it would cheer you up."

"Ack." I gagged and gasped for air for a second. "You're horrible!"

And she just continued chuckling.

She is indeed horrible.

"So are you all cheered up now?" She asked again and gently stopped laughing.

"Yes, all thanks to you." I answered sarcastically when I was able to compose myself from that near-death experience. "Please don't do that again." I playfully poked her forehead.

"Thank goodness." I heard her mutter before she silently hugged me and dug her face on my chest. "Now it's your turn to cheer me up."

The turn of events was so sudden that I almost forgot how to blink and breathe.

My turn to cheer her up? What does she mean by that?

Then I felt warm tears soak my shirt.

"Maybelle?" I asked, finally embracing her. "Are you okay?"

"I was sad because grandpa Carlos died." She then started wailing in my arms. "And I became even more sad because you stopped coming out of your room." She hiccuped. "And now you are leaving tomorrow!"

I never saw her cry this hard before that it stunned me. My dark and gloomy room resounded with her wailing. She embraced me so hard that I could feel her raspy voice vibrate on my chest.

"I'm sorry I was forceful. I'm sorry I lied." She continued bawling and clawed my back like she has never cried before. I felt her tears stream down like a river. "But at least I cheered you up right? Right?"

"Now it's your turn."

I looked up at the dark ceiling and watched how my bed room glow in the dark stars have already faded their glow. I breathed in a deep breath before I laid my head on her head. I rubbed the small of her back as my other hand ran through her short chestnut hair. Her hair was so smooth and glossy that my fingers slipped immediately pass through them as if they were oiled. Even though it was faint, even though it was quite dark, I could still barely see my own sad and remorseful reflection in the mirror behind her.

I realized a lot of things, a lot of selfish things. Grandfather's death didn't just make me sad. It made everyone sad, Maybelle was no exception of course. And while I was getting sad on my own, enclosing myself in my room for two days, I left her all alone. And now we are leaving back to LaRousse for the burial tomorrow and she and her family won't be able to come with us because of financial problems.

And we won't be seeing each other for a long while.

How was I not able to see this?

May is suffering even more than I am.

'I'm sorry.' was all I could mutter as the girl I hugged kept on wailing.

"I'm sorry May. I'm sorry."

I carefully thought of the exact and proper words to say but I couldn't find them, so in the end I ended up saying what I just felt. I prayed and hoped it wouldn't sound as bad as I thought they will be.

"May, I'm really sorry." I started again, my head still resting on top of hers. Her hair smelled of fresh countryside strawberries. "I've cheered you up a lot of times, but this time, I don't know if I could cheer you up. I-I me-mean you said that food would always cheer you up right? And if that wouldn't work, then how am I supposed to do it?"

"I'm no food. I just wish right now that I would be food and make you happy."

She miraculously stopped sobbing.

"You don't have to cheer me up." She answered, her voice muffled by my clothes. "Can I get sad? Like sad with you?"

"Of course." I replied. I continued combing her hair with my hands. "You don't have to ask."

"We can get sad together."

"Thank you Drew. Please don't forget me." She looked up. Her face was red from crying non-stop, her gentle light blue eyes sparkling from the recently shed tears.

If only we also didn't have any financial problems, we would love to come back immediately. But I guess we won't really be seeing each other for quite a while.

With the little lighting in my room, it seemed that the moonlight that poured through the windows made her eyes have this mystical glow.

"How could I forget you dummy?" I answered, darting my eyes from her in embarrassment. "Your messy eating habits had left a very huge impression in me."

"That wasn't nice." She pouted. "Meanie.."

I grinned. "Trust me, I won't."

"How about we exchange letters tomorrow before you and your family would leave?" She suggested.

"That's great idea!" I agreed.

"It's always me who comes up with the great ideas." She smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"Big words coming from someone who got caught stealing those brownies at the top shelf late at night." I scoffed.

"That was only because you slowed me down silly!" She argued.

"I slowed you down?" I appalled. "It's you who were taking more than what your tiny greedy hands could hold!"

Then we both shared a laughter for a couple of minutes. It was really good to hear her laugh after all that sobbing she just did earlier. The cookies she brought may not have cheered her up but somehow, I did.

"Hey." May stopped laughing and looked at me. "Can you do that again?"

"Do what again?" I inquired.

"This." She took my hand and made my fingers ran through her hair. "I liked it when you did this." She added. "Now there are two things in my life that would always cheer me up." She closed her eyes and smiled.

"I'm really gonna miss you Drew."

...

When I woke up, I felt something warm on my arm, well on my good arm because apparently my other arm wasn't in such a favorable state -it was in a sling. Now I remembered about dislocating my shoulder this morning.

Ugh damn it. Maybe I am not cut out for this managing crap. It still surprised me though why Brendan still gave me the position even though I lost. I wonder what happened.

I looked to my left where I witnessed a sleeping Maybelle, my forearm becoming her pillow. I never thought an arm would be a good pillow but from the looks of it, I think I just learned something new today. Well, either that or she was just too tired from pushing me away all night.

It was worth a try.

What I told her about the reason why I stayed in her room was lie to be honest. And no I wasn't looking for her undergarment. I'm not that sickly perverted. I don't get it why she would call me a pervert. I was clearly just trying to be lovey-dovey.

Feeling quite aggressive aren't we this early in the morning.

Don't you know your sapphire eyes are really sexy May?

Perhaps I was too lovey-dovey? I don't know.

Okay, side tracked.

The real reason why I stayed in her room was because I was searching for that letter I gave her seven years ago. I know it would have been better and easier if I just asked her about it directly but damn I couldn't just go ask her about such childish stuff!

What I wrote was probably something stupid and too childish.

So I wasn't able to locate it, I got tired easily because I wasn't feeling well, and then I fell asleep, right on her bed.

Exactly just as planned.

Where would a high-school girl hide an embarrassing letter?

Oh wait a second, that must be it! It must have been too embarrassing that she must have kept it somewhere no one would ever find it.

Where possibly? Maybe stapled or glued inside an enveloped then locked in a vault and thrown at the world's deepest and undiscovered trench? Or maybe just under her drawer where she kept her private wear stuff since it was the only place I hadn't looked.

Hey, can you do that again?

Do what again?

This.

I smiled as I slipped my good arm away and ran my fingers through her hair.

She let out a soft moan.

Not trying to be pervert here, but that was kind of attractive.

'Heh? You don't even have to try you sick pervert!'

I instantly pictured her out saying that and I just laughed it off.

My eyes trailed down her peaceful face and locked at her lips.

What if I want another proof? Kiss me then.

"That was really a bold statement you said back there sweet freak." I subtly chuckled to myself, and then I remembered the dream I just had. "The next time these lips would be heavily bombarded with cookie crumbles, despite not having a sweet tooth, I would wipe it off by kissing. I'm just saying."

Anyway until I will find out whether she still have my letter or not, I will always have that same dream, very strange.

Ever since I came back here, a lot of things had gone strange in my life. Though not as strange as the actual marriage itself, because what else would be more strange than underage marriage? Well maybe except for clowns. They're downright creepy and weird.

When I first arrived here from the airport, I was quite surprise to see that her hair had grown past her shoulders. I quickly admitted to myself that she really looked good with it since I've never seen her grow her hair past them when we were still young.

I was elated seeing her again in how many years.

Then I pranked her with that red-spotted bra, her reaction to that was really priceless. Apparently, I could still become really mischievous when that elated. I could have said that the bra was actually for my mom, but then I went on and said that it was actually for her Mom.

To see such a fine and rare reaction, I regretted nothing.

Anyway, I sort of expected about that marriage thing finally coming to us when grandpa called me over at LaRousse. But thinking logically that we aren't even at the proper age, I easily pushed that marriage thought aside and became hopeful that it would just turn out to be a normal family reunion after seven years.

Though it really turned out to be a family reunion still, but I never thought it could also be our actual marriage at the same freaking time.

I should have never let my guard down.

Now that he had already rested seven years ago, and I'm following him nearly, I hope you two can keep that promise.

To think that Grandpa really was serious back then.

Come on May! Its grandpa's dying wish! We must not fail him!

And I even thought that I was making his joke even more epic.

I always love it when you make her pass out grandpa. It never grows old!

And to think that we even high-fived!

I mentally rewarded myself a face-palm.

What made you think that I would be kidding?! If I was to create a joke then it better had to do something about you two not meant for each other.

I kept on running my fingers through her hair a few more times. With every soft and warm moan she let out, I felt like the butterflies in my gut fluttered even more. I wished that the rattling of branches outside the windows would become noisier, or else it would be my rapidly beating heart that would wake her up.

I mean how could I go wrong? You like May and May likes you back! Though it might not look like it right now, BUT, you'll both get there eventually.

"'Eventually' you say huh grandpa?" I muttered. "With your age how could you even tell?" I smiled to myself "That she would become someone special to me."

Or is it because you don't want to because it's May? You like her right?

Mom could tell.

Oh? I have always thought you had special feelings for her.

Even Paul could tell. Was I too obvious about it? Like being obvious about it without making myself obvious to it? Isn't that too stupid? I liked her without knowing that I like her? Am I even making any sense?

I liked May.

Yep! If we're gonna live in a castle then you might as well be my prince!

Thank you Drew. Please don't forget me.

I don't know how old one must be to like someone but I guess I already liked her way back then. And when we finally got married, big thanks to that flawless and devious plan, and started living in the same apartment room, I realized that I didn't just like her.

I'll stay away from her, just like what you've always wanted. I'll even gladly tell her myself that I won't bother her anymore.

I became a big jealous jackass. Of course I could only think of one reason for that - I already love her. Not because we're married and that she's my wife and that I'm supposed to love her, but because I want no one else going after her happiness.

Because I just love her, I just do.

Yeah, I know. I suck at reasoning.

Life would be terribly difficult with her.

I remembered my own claim back at the playground when I came back here for the first time in many years.

But it would be unbearably difficult without her.

So yeah I went on challenging Brendan not knowing how good he really was.

And how awfully pathetic I was.

The things I do for love.

Now there are two things in my life that would always cheer me up.

I gathered air in my lungs and exhaled them all out in one lengthy exhale. I decided to tell her something before my rampaging heartbeat would wake her up.

"May, I really do love y-"

DING DONG

Was that the dismissal bell? I quickly spun my head towards the wall clock.

5:00 PM

"Hey May." I looked back at her and pinched her cheeks softly. "Wake up."

She softly moaned before opening her eyes slowly. "Wha- the brownies are ready already?" She goofily looked up at me. "M-mom?"

I chuckled. She was dreaming about food. Why of course. Why would she not dream about food? She's Maybelle for Pete's sake.

"It's the dismissal bell sweet freak." I poked her cheeks. "Why the hell would there be brownies in the clinic?"

"Dre-Drew!" She immediately gasped and stood up, causing her chair to fall on the floor by her sudden movement. "Yo-you're okay? Does your shoulder still hurt?! Or does any part of your body hurt? I knew you weren't fine! You shouldn't have pushed yourself perverted dummy!" She then tried to touch my hand but she paused. "Wah! Will your hand hurt if I touch it? Why do you have to be so stupidly arrogant?!" She retracted back her hand and did a frustrated flailing.

"Just calm down silly!" I smiled. "It doesn't hurt too much now. And for your dear information, that teeny weeny incident wouldn't kill me." I chuckled and tried to get off of bed.

"I was worried sick!" She hissed. "And for your dear information." She tried copying how I said it. "I'm not into soccer players!"

"You what?"

Then we heard a knock on the door, it was the school's new nurse.

"Maybelle? Is everything alright in there?" I saw her head popped in. "I heard a ruckus."

"Everything is alright Miss Joy!" She replied, gesturing her hands that everything was just fine.

"Miss Joy?" I had an incredulous look on my face that probably spelled 'what in the deepest pit in hell?!'. I looked back at May. "You know her?"

"Well..." She dropped her hands and hid them behind her back as the nurse came walking in. From the looks of it, she was hiding something from me.

"How are you feeling now Mister Hayden?" The nurse sweetly asked as she stopped by my side. "Is the sling too tight? Shall I loosen it up a bit for you?" She offered.

"No, it's just fine." I answered. "Thank you."

"Good!" She piped. "Now you're gonna have this until next week got it?" She quickly slipped into a serious tone and held a finger in front of me. "And you're gonna let me check on it every morning starting tomorrow."

I nodded.

"Good." She stated again. "Now we don't want anyone worrying so much about you do we?" She smiled and eyed May.

And May only replied with an awkward chuckle.

There is definitely something fishy going on. And I got the feeling that I am deeply involved, and when I'm involved, it's mostly bad news.

I tried asking May but she wouldn't answer, she would just fiddle with her fingers and her look would take the most interest in almost anything but my look on her.

At least she could have tried harder in not making it too obvious.

How about we exchange letters tomorrow before you and your family would leave?

When we passed the school gates, it was roughly dark already. A few students were already leaving the school.

Should I ask about the letter? This could be my chance.

I was about to open my mouth when I remembered something very important.

Drew, please take care of Brianna. Watch over her for me okay?

I stopped walking.

"Drew are you okay?" May eyed me with concern. "You should just let me carry your bag."

"May.." I puffed out a wintry breath. The soft winter breeze was playing with her locks. With the little snow that fell I could vividly see imaginary cold hands running through her hair playfully. She was standing still, a few centimeters ahead from me. She seemed to become more beautiful the longer I stared at her.

Despite the busy sidewalk, all I could see was her. Everything around us blurred like haze. The chattering of people, deafening vehicle horns, every noise was muffled to my hearing as if I was underwater. The only sound I could hear was my slow breathing and my fast heart beating.

I smiled as I walked up to her.

I landed a soft peck on her forehead. "I'm sorry but could you go home ahead? There are some things I need to take care off first."

I didn't bother for her reply and trudged my way towards the opposite direction.

I could tell that she hadn't made a single step. I could even feel her looking at me even with the thickening crowd between us.

I shook my head and focused on the road ahead of me.

I don't want that letter! I hate her! I don't want to do anything about her anymore!

I could still clearly remember Brianna's cold reply after telling her my true intention about having that date with her. I even lied when she asked me about my marriage with May.

She is so gonna be pissed when she finds out the truth.

"But I made a promise and I'm gonna keep it." I said to myself as I made my way towards Brianna's house.

I'm gonna make Brianna accept a few important things.