aerisnightshade

Within this novel is my life written in letters and poems, written through the toughest, darkest times.

Some holds the stories of past relationships, how I fucked up and caused the inevitable end of it.

Some may hold happier memories, past or current events that made me happy.

Others are disturbing and dark, whilst some lighthearted and heart warming.

Here we go. 

These are the Letters of Myls Valentine


(I have three pen names, Myls Valentine, Crey Valentine, and AerisNightShade.

Just sharing :3

Hope y'all like it)

Letters Of Myls Valentine

The day of big red hearts, of lovers, of true and unconditional love. A day where roses are given, love is written, and girls a smitten.


This is the day where couples show how much they love each other and where guys meet their random dates for a chance of hooking up or a chance of forever.


For me? Today was the day I planned to disappear. Not disappear and start a new life, not to go missing for a few days and return, but to disappear from all everyone's life, mine included.


They say suicide rate is high this time of year. That depression eats you and you just let it dominate you. You grab the nearest gun, knife, pill, blade, rope, or whatever it is that would kill you and, well, kill yourself. And I wanted to become part of that.


I can't really say why I want to. I guess I feel that my worth to everyone is gone. Even to myself. I feel absolutely useless, alone, and unwanted. I feel like I have no more reason to live.


But at this point you already know why I feel that way. You probably read all my other post. Have you? If you have then you know it's my fault.


I looked for a person who was already there. I loved a person who accepted me when someone was already doing that. I choose another person because she reminded me of her.


I lost the girl who gave me a heart to live in, who gave me a purpose, who pushed me to become a better person. I lost the woman who gave her everything, who accepted me for the lil'shit that I am, who gave all the time in her world to be with me.


She cried, she weeped, she nearly went insane. What did I do?


Ironic how I cheated but I feel like this. Maybe because it took another person to realize what I did to her. Because I saw the scars that I inflicted on her heart, that I regret doing so.


That's why I wanted to die today, on valentines.


I feel like it's the thing that will set her and everyone free.


Free from my grip. Free from my drama. 


I will live through this hell, my personal hell, and suffer.


I will climb my way back from rock bottom and soar back up to the sky to meet her.


I will do everything humanly possible to get her back. I will build great things from nothing, perform epic feats, and do things I've never done.


Because I still love her. And I always will. I won't lose her again.


I want her hugs, tight enough to suck the living hell out of me. I long for her touch, sharp enough to pierce my skin and let blood bleed through. I miss her sweet kiss, like poison on snow white's apple and puts me into eternal slumber. I miss her dearly, like the death I long for.


My Black Valentines