CHAPTER VIII

[Sir Gaviel]

The nightmares never left my side ever since that day.

I am holding a rapier far taller than I remember. My hands, small around the hilt is barely seen with the knuckle guard. The ten-year-old me notices the commotion. Shadows with rapiers like his fighting other dark figures. Wielding in deftness I should not possess, I reap one body after another.

The scene flashes, the fight is over. My young self is smothered in blood and my hands are coated so thickly in it, I do not see a finger.

When I look up, I am in an ocean, red and viscid. Corpses are afloat around me swarming like bees on their hive. With the faces upright, I recognize them.

All the people I have killed.

I try to swim away but the bodies, moved by an unknown force, presses to me. I push them yet they come back with twice the strength. Just as suddenly I am unable to move.

I cannot escape.

Fear clenches my stomach. Panic clouds my judgement and I gasp quickly for air. I feel a hand wrapping my ankles, dragging me down and I am submerged. Looking at the ghost of a hand I kick, fighting out of its grasp. But then a pair of arms coming out of nowhere grabs my waist, fiercely.

The hands are owned by a little girl, a Vanuyan girl. Her face is deathly pale. In place of eyes and mouth she has profound dark lobes. Her hair, a web of black tentacles. I try to swim up, struggling with all I got. I jab, squirm, clawed on the hand to let me go.

But I have no strength in my nightmare.

No matter how I kick or wave my hands I cannot swim. Eventually, I realize why.

Thousands of bodies emerge from the depths of blood water, linking themselves to each other and pin me in place.

Sir Gaviel…

I cannot breathe.

Sir Gaviel… In a distance, I hear a faint voice calling.

Sir Gaviel, wake up.

There it is again. It sounds urgent, demanding to be heed but my mind is clogged, I could not make sense of it.

Oh. I stop resisting.

Why should I stop them? What right do I have to live? I killed them all. Maybe… maybe this will absolve me of what I had done.

Gaviel! Wake up!

I wake, gasping. My heart is on my throat, racing so fast. The cotton shirt I wear is soaked it could fill a bucket. Even my hair is drenched.

As soon as I wake, I feel hands on my arms holding me down. A face is leaning close, eyes wide in fear and panic not for itself. For me. Instinctively, I break away from the grasp. My eyes adjust in the dark and I see the girl I set free four days ago.

"It's okay. It's okay…" she says, trying to soothe me.

"What are you doing here?" My voice struggled, husky.

"What? – You were having a really bad dream, you know, I tried to…hold you down." Between labored breath she says. Sweat drips all over her face, her hair scattered about. I see a cut on her cheek, a deep gash on her right arm.

My head spins as I look at the dagger in my hand. It is smeared with, unmistakable by its tang odor, blood. I must have pulled it while I was dreaming.

I hurt her. Again.

"Why did you come back? You should not have come back. You – How?"

"I can explain later. Are you okay?" She peers at me with her bright eyes in genuine goodwill it unnerves me. Why is she worrying about me?

"You are hurt, worry about yourself."

"I'm fine," she says. "It's far from my stomach." Her face scrunching up as if she swallowed vinegar.

I peel my look away and force myself to move. On bare heels, indifferent to the rough floor, I pour water on a cup and swig it in one mouthful. Seconds and I am calmed.

I grab a flint and light a candle on the table. I hear the girl fidgeting and I watch her unclasp her cloak, laying it on the bed. She reaps the tattered sleeve revealing the wound, hissing at it as though it is an enemy. Without thinking I reach out, stretching her arm and examining it.

"Ow! Ow!"

Running down from shoulder to her elbow, the tear. It is a clean cut, not that deep. It does not need stitching.

"You should have stayed away. For your own sake." I say, as flat and bland as the slate wall.

"I can't."

My eyes snap to hers and her head retreats, terrified of how hostile I must look. The girl wails as I wrap the wound to stop the bleeding. Her body stiffens, gritting her teeth hard while I bandage. After I finish, I hand her a cloth to wipe the blood off her cheek.

"Leave, now."

I open my door slightly and the cool air enters, eerie as it brushes my skin. The sky blue-black, it is an hour before dawn. She strides towards me cautious.

"Even if I want to, I can't," she says.

"If they see you with me, I have no choice but to kill you myself."

She sucks in air. "I'm not who you think I am."

"Leave," with finality I urge.

"Trust me, listen –" stubbornly, she stands her ground. I am slightly taken aback.

No one dares to disobey me before. "– I can't because it's just –"

I drag her to her surprise, shutting the door squarely on her face. Turning away, I should be looking at my bed. Instead, the girl is standing before me.

"I told you," she whispers.

It happened.

Appearing like she is not mortal. Passing through the walls as if a ghost. The entity stumps her feet and chews her lip.

"There's no easier way to say this so I'm just going to say it. I'm –"

"An Eng't Urh."

She nods enthusiastic. "Yes! – what?"

"An Eng't Urh that is mortal." I add, tensing at the truth. Despite the lack of light, I see her eyes getting larger, mouth agape almost a fist could fit.

"You knew…."

"I suspected."

I went to my cabinet and strip my tunic, my back on her. In dry tunic, I watch her hide the horror and shock on her face. The hands from her mouth pretends to comb her hair and she walks farther on the corner.

Scars. Ugly, intense, serrated scars.

My back, my whole body is a bitter canvass of agony and torment. The girl clears her throat, looking anywhere but me.

"It is the most common thing a soldier can have, the scars." I say conversationally.

"You are ghosts in the night, are you not?"

She coughs for many times as if a bone is caught on her throat. "You seem versed in my… abilities."

I hear a quake on her voice, nervousness.

"And you seem to know nothing."

"H–How did you know?"

"Elites are educated to the local folktales. We know the land and its stories."

"Oh great," she says with a hint of sarcasm while pacing in a narrow arc. She grimaces as she rubs her wounded arm.

"I cannot believe you truly exist so I denied it…" I hesitate. "You are not a Vanuyan." More of a question than a statement.

She stops on her tracks, jaw clenching. I understand now why she must hide the truth despite her life. She would actually be better known a Vanuyan than a folklore with supernatural abilities.

What king Cirrhinus would not give to have her.

"Do you have a name?" I ask and her head comes up, finally regarding me. She considers it, like I asked her to count the sand or how many stars are in the sky. The girl leans on the wall still silent. She continues to rub her injured arm as I pick out a small bottle from my rack with rust-colored liquid inside.

"Drink this. It helps with the pain," I say offering it to her.

She steps slowly to me, reluctant, but she receives it with both hands. In one gulp she coughs, sticking her tongue out, making disgusted movements with her face.

"What is this stuff?"

"Rum."

She hands the bottle back to me, shuddering. "Yelck. Thanks."

Dropping to the floor, I rest my back against the cold wall. Sleep will keep away from me after that nightmare. She sits, hugging her knees across me and I stare at the candle, at its thin, tall light.

"My name is Lila, Sir Gaviel." Gradually, I gaze at her.

Lila.

"Just Gaviel." I tell her solemnly.

"You can call me Lai." She smiles at me and I shun away. "You're right, you know. I'm an Eng't Urh who doesn't have any idea what I am. I was not prepared or can someone even prepare for this stuff. I didn't mean to…"

She ponders for a while.

"This is my first time."

"First time." Confuse, I ask. "What does that even mean?"

She lifts her shoulders, face ambiguous. "It means I'm screwed and a lot of people are after me."

I smirk.

"Including your king."

"He is not my king."

"Sorry."

I must be winded out to admit that. Tired. I blame it on the lack of sleep. "How did you sneak into the balcony? At the citadel?"

"Er, about that. I can't really control where I'll show up or when… but as long as you're there, I could be anywhere."

I blink at her foolishly. That was not the answer I was expecting. Something supernatural and alike. After all, the tale tells of them as shadows in daylight and ghosts in the night. They see everything we do and wherever we are they can find us.

"When we were in the training–" Lila answers before I can finish.

"I was on the roof. And almost fell down."

I mull over what she said. "You mean to say, you cannot go anywhere without the person you are bonded with?"

"Yes." Lila says. "Yes, exactly." She repeats as though she just realized it herself. "It's some kind of a rule… of sorts."

That makes our situation certainly complicated.

"Is there a way to severe the bond?"

She looks at me squarely before shaking her head. "None that I know of."

"So why did you choose me?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Folklores say you select the people to bond with."

"I didn't. We can't choose, it just happens," she disproves the lore easily. What else is not true?

"You guide the people to their destiny."

"Uh, maybe."

"Some to their deaths."

"Probably not…"

"Immortal," no, I think.

"No," she scoffs. "Just a girl… apparently."

I feel there is more to what she says, but I did not pursue it. I throw a guess.

"The Anagolay is bonded to you." Lila sighs heavily.

"Nothing gets past you too. Yes, he is."

That explains why he cannot kill her then. "I never heard of an Eng't Urh pairing up with two humans to oversee."

"I…It happens. Sometimes…Maybe?"

I sigh inwardly. If she is real, mystics that I have read and wished to stay in books and legends could pop out at any moment.

"The Anagolay knows about my connection to you."

"I take it he does not like that," I whisper.

"No… he was like–" Lila straightens her back, impersonating, "–elites, always, always go for the kill."

"He is right." The words taste bitter in my mouth. I sound indignant and ashamed.

Perhaps I am.

"He's not right about you." Lila states, a matter of fact. She tilts her head as if studying me. I try to change the conversation, evading.

"You cannot trust the Anagolay–" I catch myself. Who am I to say who she can trust?

"I hate his guts. He has crooked ways and thinking but he's ok," she claims.

"Naive and ignorant."

"Look, when he didn't recognize who I was or what I was, he actually tried to help me. Just as you are…"

"You cannot trust me." I point out.

"Psh. What are you talking about you totally look trustworthy–" I stare at her and she pauses. "– ish."

You do not know who I am. What I did. What I can do.

"If it's any consolation, the Anagolay threatened to kill Sanim just to get me talking and he tried to sell me as a slave."

"Usually he just spears the heads and disappear like steam."

Lila looks disturbed as though she already saw him at his game.

"He is a trickster and a liar. It is what he is good at. If you trust him just because he saved your life you will be manipulated by his wiles and motives."

"I'm aware of that. And I think you're saying that because you're guilty."

I blink.

"You look at me like I'm a victim. I'm not a Vanuyan, Gaviel. But a reminder of your guilt that's not supposed to exist."

The candle seems to be the only thing I can look at.

"Good talk," she squeaks. "Ok, that was rude. I am so sorry -"

"You are right." I snort. "This must be fate…for you to look the way you do."

"I don't think I'm here… to punish you either." Concern seeps to her voice. "I feel as lost as you do."

This girl… How can she comprehend me and put it into words? For a long moment, we are silent.

"Can you tell me more about the Anagolay?"

"I do not know much only that he has a mind of his own but he fulfills the job he is paid to do. Clean and efficient. Which explains the uproar when he did not kill Sanim. He was hired by the king so that Thraines will know of Aeon's power. That they are just animals to be subdued."

"So, Sanim was a trophy?" Lila caught on quickly. I nod.

"Let's look at the bright side, the Anagolay did not kill Sanim and he didn't surrender me to the King."

"Yet."

"Somebody's gotta start trusting somebody around here," she quips flailing her arms out. It is my turn to snort shaking my head in disbelief.

"You are neither in a position nor the place to talk about trust. And I am the wrong person to talk to about it."

"Well, I trust the two of you."

I laugh, a harsh one. "You trust two madmen? A renegade and some beast?"

"Yes."

She says with such passion all I could do is stare, awestruck. I search her ever-dark eyes, wondering why it is full of hope. As if there is no evil in the world…

Lila looks away and we cease to converse. I watch the candlelight again, flickering, dancing at its own tune as the last phrases of her folktale runs around my head.

"You can read minds…"

When I look back at her she is swallowing hard. "You hear our thoughts and punishes us if you dislike it."

"Uh–" she opens her mouth but a bell tolls before she could answer. It is followed by the monotonous thunder of drums surrounding the military base like a rooster waking its owner. I feel the air being stirred, the base yawning.

Daybreak.

Suddenly, reality seems to hit us hard. We were buying time. One way or another she is going to be handed to the king. Alive or dead. It must have also occurred to her.

She breathes in and out shakily, clenching her fists.

"I guess this is it then," bleakly, Lila stands and makes for the cloak. She is frightened, I realize and she cannot hide it. I drag my feet up but I stay in place.

"You have to bring me to the king, right?" I heard her say.

Can I?

Should I?

Kill her and bury the guilt? To have her name added to the long list of people I have killed. I can imagine it. Her disemboweled body left on the plaza for anybody to see.

As a warning. As proof that the prophecy does not hold true. I close my eyes as I shrink in horror.

You should not care Gaviel. To survive is to not care.

Elites's upbringing voice jars me like a splinter through my head. He helped me exist in this place and I cannot deny my fear, my frustrations.

One wrong move, if you make that wrong move everyone will know – and yet, and yet...

"If I die now, I just want to say I really appreciate what you did." It takes a minute before what Lila said dawns on me. I stare at her as it is hard not to.

"You could have just killed me, but you didn't. So, I owe you two now."

For what? For a con. I sneer in my head. Spare a life only to take it away again?

A strut and I am at her.

I look at how small she is. How easily her neck be wrung or her heart be pierced. That is all it takes and yet... Unthwarted, she smiles up to me accepting her fate.

"There is goodness in you Gaviel. Goodness you hide. For if there is none then you shouldn't be feeling that way."

I suck in a breath.

"Lila," I pause, her name a flavor of hope mingled with uncertainty. "Do you wish to repay me?"

Her eyes welled in confusion so does my mind. "Yes?"

It feels as though I am being torn in two halves. Yet, my heart has never been this certain. I cannot undo those mistakes but I can learn from it.

"Then…" I say, hushed. "Live."

She blinks. Lila angles her ear as if she misheard it.

"Concentrate." I request, idea pouring out of vapor. "Make yourself invisible."

I can tell she thinks it is a preposterous idea with her forehead and nose wrinkling. She chuckles crazily. "I'm supposed to be invisible in the first place! Look at me..."

The girl sits on the cot, defeated. I let out a heavy sigh.

"You said this is your first time as an Eng't Urh. I just thought you probably need to learn how to be one."

She gazes up at me, seeing reason in my words.

"How to be an Eng't Urh." Lila contemplates, her eyes are faraway, speaking volumes.

"But uh, this place is killing you… why do you insist on staying?"

I feel the gravity of her question like a living being holding me down. Serpentine sweat run down my back and I cannot return her piercing stare. I touch my palms. Many innocents have fallen victim with these hands. The callouses proof of the carnage I made. Lila is right, of course. It is not just killing me, it is torturing my soul, pleasuring from chipping its parts until I am left bare and nothing.

"You can still make a run for it," she suggests. I could. However, so much is at stake.

"I will be haunted down," I answer her, clenching my fists on my side.

Lila looks at me questioningly for a long time. Longer than I would have liked. Her gaze is so deep I feel drowned by it. My skin prickles. Nerves screaming in danger. As if something is reaching through the cracks in the back of my head. For a moment, I am convinced she could see right through me. Through the secrets I folded away like a worn spent clothe. The only way I could hide it from any prying interests is to ignore it.

"I will be forever looking behind my back."

"I see…" Lila whispers. A breath that I did not know I was holding comes out.

She nods, gravely. "I can try."

"We still have a couple of minutes." If we are going to do this, we need to do it smartly.

"Wait – what? Do what?"

"You said you cannot leave my side. Then you have to come with me. A meal is being prepared in the mess."

"Elites will be there right? I–I can't."

"Elites have traditions. One of that is to break bread together. Not showing up is like an omen for them. To defy a tradition is to rouse suspicion. I cannot allow that to happen."

Even more so now.

Lila paces again.

"Use your ability."

"You expect me to figure out how to be an Eng't Urh within a few minutes. That's impossible!"

"A moment ago, you are just tales in the scrolls. Now, you are standing right in front of me."

"Ugh. Fine. Fine!"

I left her to herself as I wash my face, my arms, then dry it off. I clothe myself with a mail shirt as she works with the idea hanging around her. The sentries change their shifts at this hour. We may have a slight chance in getting at the mess silently if Lila does not make it work.

" - something that grandpa said, ok, focus Lila..."

I strap a light leather armor over my shoulders and under my arms after the mail shirt. Position my rapier on my left. Clasp the scarlet sash. Then combing my hair with my fingers, I wounded it to a short braid around my nape and tie it with twine.

"This is not working," she complains after half an hour. I fitted my boots lastly, as I look at where her voice comes from.

"I can still see me. If you're invisible you can't see yourself, right?"

"I would not know." I close the distance between us. "You should be standing here." Bewilderedness eases on my voice.

"I am," she says. "You mean you can't –" She falls silent. It looks as though I am alone. There is no Lila.

Even so, I cannot but be aware of the warm feeling in my gut like I just had a hot drink. She is here, but invisible.

Invisible. Huh.

Scanning my surroundings, I inspect by experience. All of my senses taut for any indication of movement. Hairs on my left arm rises. She is moving. I follow her motions, encircling me. Essius stench accosts my nose.

A hint of damp land, dried fish thrown in. She goes to the shelves. Then, I lost her. I end up staring at an empty space.

"It worked." Lila's voice is behind me and I turn. As suddenly as she is gone, she appears, frowning in a stupor.

She and I, both.

"I can't believe it works." Grin spreads on her face when confusion drains.

"You did it," I compliment but I interrupt before her excitement explodes. "I can sense you though."

"Well yeah–"

"And, smell you." Lila went stiff. Like a mouse that is exposed, she sniffs herself.

"Wow, thank you, for mentioning that just now."

As she rants, I head for the door. Holding the latch open, I say. "It is time."

* * *

In the end, she could not turn invisible.

As we made it near the entrance of the mess hall, I pull her aside. A sentry just rounded the hall and is moving towards the barracks.

"I can do this… I can do this... okay. Ghosts in daylight and shad–"

I cover her mouth cutting her repeating encouragement. The sentry is a simple foot soldier whistling at his steps. Now closer, he walks steadily near our direction. Lila panics. Eyes bouncing back and forth to me and the corner, expecting the sentry to arrive. With my other hand, I signal for her to calm down. Lila accepts the advice after squeaking complaints. She breathes thoroughly in and out for a while, closing her eyes.

I carefully peer at the soldier. Only a few steps left and he will see us. If it comes to that I can break his neck before he breathes his last. I glimpse at Lila to warn her.

My brain grinds to a halt.

From head to boots, Lila fades. Slowly. Until she is gone. As though she is a mere smoke coalescing with the air around. Dumbfounded, I stare, jaw set.

"Sir? Captain?" I find myself unable to respond. The sentry incessantly tries to get my attention.

"Captain Gaviel?" A slight tap on my arm wakes me. Mustering an annoyed look, I face him.

"I thought you were with someone."

"Do you wish to die?" I snarl. The soldier abandons his questions to answer mine.

"N-No, Sir–" I did not let him finish.

"You are late." Intimidating him might just make him forget an Elite captain is sneaking behind the barracks.

"Are you not supposed to be making rounds here already?"

His body straightens, ramrod. "My apologies, Captain, Sir!"

"I could have you flogged or skinned. Which one do you prefer?" I glower into him. His frame smaller than mine is ostentatiously chagrin and rigid of fear.

"Move!"

"M–my apologies…" The sentry stutters. He almost stumble, catching his footing.

Sighing softly, I step towards the mess. A double door ten feet high made of wood with heavy fittings of iron marks the entrance. I enter through a smaller separate door placed at the right corner like an opening for a cat.

The sconces on the columns flanking the hall are still lit even though sunlight is starting to filter through the square openings near the roof. Some Elites are already eating, scattered on four long tables of the hall, separated by a middle aisle. They murmur their respects as I go by.

I take it as a good start. They do not take notice of my company.

This might just work.

I went to the kitchen where food is already prepared, laid out in one huge table. Cooks and slaves scurry out and about. I take a rice porridge. In another steel plate I put a big chunk of roasted chicken leg, two pieces of bread and sweet potatoes.

Back to the hall, I sit on the wooden bench near the end of the table away from anyone. I feel nervous energy surging, as if Lila is shivering from my side.

"Just calm down." I murmur behind the wooden mug pretending to drink. She responds the exact opposite. I can almost see her scared.

Out of a sudden, a grumble stops me dead from taking the porridge. My spoon midair. That sounded like a complaining stomach. I restrain myself from looking at her. She could have told me.

"Well, you must be hungry Captain!" Lexxus Hohem sits in front of me, stifling a laugh, then puts his food on the table. Nodiscus Hohem, arm around his twin brother, cracks a smile himself. Both red heads and humorous.

"Good morning, Captain."

"Smells like someone died here."

It is a trial keeping my face straight.

"That is not the way you speak to your captain." Lebenen Gestafi III arrives and smacks their heads.

"Captain," he salutes.

"Lebenen," I recognize.

Soon, the hall fills with Elites, the table with my unit. Cluttering and conversing, Elites will pass as any normal young men having a meal. Disciplined and hardened, yes. But there is a deep reservoir of feelings underneath each one. It spills out and I see it as the twins grin at each other over some prank. As Lebenen removes the carrots absently from his plate; as Javius, another of my men, souring at something Rescus said.

No one can totally numb emotions. Not even an Elite.

Preoccupied as they are, I grab a bread placing it on open palm below the table for Lila. I watch as the bread disappears from my hand almost instantly.

She is hungry.

I scan the hall. The sixty-four should have been here by now, but my Lieutenant is late. He is never late. As I eat the porridge with my right hand, my left offers the other bread to Lila.

"Lebenen," I call. "Have you seen Lieutenant Hughes?" The brown-haired man scowls half a second before giving me his answer.

"I have not seen him since the evening Captain."

"I would not worry about him, Captain. He said he was going to his mom's house," says Tersius Zanath, seated next to Lebenen, before maiming his meat.

Lieutenant Hughes Vertii rarely visits his family. What is he up to? He is acting strange ever since we came back from Horr.

I notice one of the sweet potatoes disappears and I cover for it by taking the chicken.

"Captain." I hear my Lieutenant's smooth baritone a moment later. Fist on chest, he bows.

"My apologies for being late." I nod my head slightly.

"Have you no excuses for me?"

"Excuses are for cowards."

"Very well. Cleaning duty for a week."

Lexxus winces as others shake their heads. We were drilled to the core that tardiness costs lives. My men already know the pains when you have to scrub and polish all Elite's armor including weapons.

"Sir." And with that he sits on the far side of our table. He wears no apparent expressions but his olive skin is gravely pale. It is unlike him to let perspiration on his forehead stick to his cropped auburn hair.

Behind me, a commotion erupts. I only catch Aris getting up from the ground, face first on it. He was bringing porridge that is now on Lexander's head sitting paces beside me.

The disbelief in Aris' eyes, a Unit III Elite, is staggering. He turns, looking around for some explanation.

Lila. What did she do?

Lexander stands, challenging Aris. Toppling anxiety spikes through me.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Lexxus chants, followed instantly by others. They get on, Lexander punching the still dazed Aris straight through the chin and he falls with a thin shriek, too high for his voice.

"You squeal like a girl." Jeering, Lexander stoops to get him but I catch his wrist.

"He started it Captain," he reasons as I let him go.

"Captain Gaviel, there is someone I swear–"

I heave Aris up swiftly, convinced that Lila was crushed by a man five times her weight.

"You are on unsteady ground here soldier." I say, letting him understand that he is showing enough emotions to get sedition.

I glimpse all eyes watching us. Ixas's, Dunn's weary eyes, even Erasmus seem interested. Aris realizes it. Stony face eclipses his skepticism.

I sweep my gaze on his back, trying to find Lila. A steady hand is on my forearm then, as if a way of saying she is fine. I nudge Aris towards his table and I went back to my food like nothing is wrong. Lexxus and Nodiscus whines as the fight pacifies.

We eat in peace until, instantly, there is a shift in the wind around us as if some being sucked all the air. The chatters pipe down to murmurs. Then a quiet. A change came over to everyone in the hall that not one is chewing. Only anticipating.

We sense it before we hear it. All at once, we stand in attention and the doors to the mess hall opens.

Our unexpected guests march on the center aisle, talking to each other. There is an interval tapping of metal against the polished floor. General Miraz and General Elricht are the only ones who came into view. They are escorted by General Miraz's men, about thirty as far as I can tell, whom posted by the door.

"Hail, Aeon!" General Miraz bellows reaching the front center. In response, we raise our right fists high above our heads silently, like mindless puppets.

"New orders from the King."

This time I hear General Elricht's resounding, deep voice. We lower our hands on our sides.

"Captain Erasmus, report to me immediately. You have a mission with your unit."

"Yes, General!" Firmly, Erasmus says.

"Captain Gaviel, report to General Miraz starting today. Your unit will train the 20th infantry. We want them prepped and ready in three weeks."

A new infantry?

"Yes, General!"

"Captain Ixas and Captain Dunn, continue your training. Report to me in a fortnight." They both echoed their replies.

"As you were."

Everyone resumes eating without the comfort. The two Generals seated on another table upfront still conversing while slaves carry their meal.

"Babysitting duty for three weeks?" Lexxus whispers. I glare at him and he turns serious. It is not his remark that bothers me at all.

Lila's weariness is spiking. Like the restless ocean waves that keep rolling in. How long can she hold? If by mistake she shows herself in front of Elites and two Generals then we are done for.

"Call me when you are ready." I instruct to my men, looking at Hughes pointedly and they salute.

Smoothly as I can, I walk out. Not even halfway, I feel a tingling on my nape up to my entire back. General Elricht must be watching me. Only his gaze makes me this weary.

I catch most of General Miraz's men on a row outside. Paid soldiers from the Kingdom of Faye. Their brown skin is like a name tag hanging on their necks. Bolos are placed on their left side, tucked in a wooden scabbard and tied by a rope around their waists.

Unlike the Aeonnites, they are only dressed plainly in linen shirts and pants, no armor. Pawns. Dispensable lives. They are the bottom of the pecking order. I wonder if they are treated better than rats.

Footsteps quickened but still regal to a captain, I head for the Elites' training hall directly next of the mess hall.

"How are you holding up?" I ask quietly.

"I – I think I'm fine." I hear Lila say.

No drumbeats for announcing a threat.

* * *

The training hall is silent. I feel weary leaving my system as the thought of finally having Lila safely indoors occurs to me. At least for a moment.

We are on the shadowed side of the training hall along with racks and shelves of battle instruments used in training. This hall is divided by stone walls and archways into three cavernous space dedicated to multiple tutelage. It is constructed in such a way that at the center of each separation, a big slab of stone as platform is placed under a domed, open roof. Not only spectators witness a duel but also the heavens itself.

As if Lila never vanished, she is on my side, hunched. Her arms are on her knees and trembling. Lila looks exhausted to the bone, pent-up breath rag.

Does her power wears her down?

Lila shakes her head. "I've never felt so much terror in my life."

It strikes me like lightning. The strongest soldiers in the kingdom around her, the two Generals, that accident.

"His eyes… I thought I was going to die of it alone," she wallows. General Elricht has that effect on people.

"Forgive me, Lila." I say, no more knowing what I should. "I did this."

She decided to yield to her crumbling knees and sit down on the dirt. The cloak forms a half circle around her.

"I'm going to sabotage us," she says, despondent as she looks up at me. "My lack of control – It's just… I don't know how I can do this…"

I nod. "This is too much for you. Forgive me."

Lila cradles her head. Her black hair mussed up wildly. She puckers her lips as tears threaten to fall.

It pains me to see her like this as though someone stabbed me in the chest and twists it. Scarily, the sympathy breaks me more than my own guilt. Knowing how fear draws the life out of you.

I squat in front of her, seeing eye to eye. "Should we make a run for it?"

"What?"

"The only safe place for you to be at is away from here."

Her tears stream down and she wipes them with the back of her hand. "Look, I know you have a very good reason for not leaving. You're just going to abandon that?"

"I cannot let you get killed either."

Lila rubs her face with her cloak, masking her sobs. I let her calm down. She dries traces of snot and tears from her reddened face.

"My grandfather, Newt…" She pauses long enough for it to sink in.

"You have a grandfather."

"Yes, Captain I do. He was so against me practicing to be – you know, an Eng't Urh. It makes me think I should have at least got to know who I am."

"What changed? You coming out now…"

"Curiosity. And a lot of stupidity on my part that's for sure." Lila sighs heavily.

Despite myself, I start talking. "My sister did not want me to be a soldier too. She used to yell her head off whenever she saw me with a weapon in hand."

I immerse in the memory, one of the good kinds I have left.

"She would say, courage does not take a sword or a dagger. Courage takes a heart."

Lila holds my gaze.

"I recited it everyday right at that corner–" I point to her the little space I occupied when I was a trainee, in between racks of shields. "– Left alone, afraid and crying."

She looks at it then to me. "Crying. You?"

"You did not saw me when I was ten."

Lila grins at me – showing her neatly piled teeth, one lower tooth overlapping the other near the center – a smile that has not been corrupted nor destroyed in this cold, tyrant realm we call ours.

"Courage takes a heart…"

I cannot help but flash a genuine smile, infected by her. A strand of her short hair falls near her eye and I tuck it back.

/You cannot marry anymore./

"What?" Lila asks, surprised.

/You really can read my thoughts./

Lila would not look at me for some reason. Hardly containing my amusement, I snicker.

/You can deny it to no avail. Your emotions are written on every aspect of you and you slip up on what you say./

She winces, all the more proving my claim.

"Snake," she says rubbing her face more but she is smiling. "I didn't want to tell you. I feel like an intruder already."

"You are not going to punish me, are you?"

She snorts. "I can't do anything of that sort…"

"And you cannot speak to my mind?"

"No, it doesn't go both ways," she says and I nod. I shake my head after. Our conversation is the strangest I ever had.

"You know what, let's just stay."

"Are you certain?"

"Yeah. I can't let the Captain run away now, can I?"

I smile. "Then, we need a plan. Do you still have the map I gave you?"

She hands the map to me from the pocket of her clothes and I unroll it between us.

* * *

I sense someone approaching the door. I stand, dusting off. Lieutenant Hughes. He knows I come here most mornings.

Lila got up clumsily and covers her head by the hood. Two knocks on the door then it opens slightly.

"Captain…" Hughes pokes his head, the gray of his eyes stoic.

"They are ready."

I lead Lieutenant Hughes on the long path to the infantry's field. We traipse a half mile through the arena instead of just a quarter if we avoided it altogether but my Lieutenant did not question and merely observed.

I told Lila to stay on the oval arena. It overlooks the infantry's entire field and the structure have a lot of stone pillars. Archways surround it like a network. Under sunlight it casts shadows so she can blend easily. Nobody will be there; the arena is only used in royal duels and festive days.

I walk her as close to it as I can.

The field bustles with activity. Other infantries scatter by squad doing drills, exercising muscles. In two straight lines, Faye'ins were waiting for us standing solidly as they could.

My unit is on their opposite, looking down on them, mocking. Judgment is clear and palpable. Others, bored. Striding purposely on the new recruits, hands behind my back, I eye them one by one. Young. Fourteen is the oldest, while the youngest one is about eleven. The tallest reaches my chest only. Some light-boned, some are skeleton, little muscles they have from labor. Their eyes are carefully on a distance.

This is the first infantry they drafted that is composed of Faye'ins alone. I turn to Hughes which instantly comes close.

"Two hundred, Captain."

"Fifty short," I say.

"They are held on the bell tower, suspected as spies." Captain Nicarsus, captain of five infantries, answers it. He joins us with one of his Lieutenants while I was sizing the recruits. He hands me rolled parchments.

"This is the list of all their names, Sir, and all the information you need. General Miraz wants you to assign the squad leader yourself," he says and he waves to the man behind him.

"This is Lieutenant Aurus des Parle." Aurus salutes.

The 'des' in his name, it is given to halflings. A mixed blood. Corrupted as they call it. Interesting. The man with an unusual name, in contrast to his Captain, has a rich brown complexion and hair of a Faye'in; and the blue eyes of an Aeonnite.

"He will translate for you." Captain Nicarsus says. I nod. I do not need a translator as I know the Faye language by heart but there is no need to disclose an unsuspected information.

"I will leave you then. I have to settle the matters in the bell tower."

"Start with stretching their muscles then divide them into groups." I tell Hughes.

"Yes, Sir."

To Aurus I say, "Follow him and translate." He quietly nodded.

Executing what I ordered, Hughes busies himself showing the recruits how to handle a wooden sword while I turn to the rest of Unit II Elite.

"You are not going to just stand there the whole three weeks." I say. "How is your Faye'in?"

They seem to object. They do not see the need to learn the language of the land they are sovereign of.

"After they have grouped, pick two and teach them the basic drills." Dignified, I say. They do not have a choice.

"Yes, Captain."

The morning is spent overseeing the drills they went through. Lunch came. I did not join the other units and instead carried food back to the arena where Lila and I ate. My men on the field. I planned to let her eat it all but she thrusts a stew in my hand.

"No fun eating alone."

Afternoon is almost the same. I shouted commands like "Stand straight!", "Straighter!", "Stop flapping your hands like a headless chicken!", Aurus tailing me to translate.

I thwack the thighs and backs of the recruits with their own practice swords. One particular boy under Lieutenant Hughes, fell on the ground when Hughes strikes him hard in the face.

I step between them, hoisting the boy up. I gave him back the sword.

"Hold it firmly and use the strength from your arms not just your hands." Gripping his bony fingers underneath mine on the handle.

"Firm."

His brown eyes absorb, deeply, as Aurus translates. I see signs of discoloration immediately on his face. I warn my Lieutenant as I face him, his choleric eyes casts down.

He is not wont to outbursts. Hughes' behavior this morning and now, stirs suspicion.

"Teach them, not kill them." Hughes agrees accordingly.

* * *

"You need to train."

Lila settles on the stool comfortably with a full stomach. She snaps her head towards me.

"Train?" She asks. "You mean like swordfight?"

"No." I say after swallowing a mouthful of water. We had a successful dinner at the mess – we did not get killed. This time no accidents.

"Your skill…"

"Oh." Lila blinks.

"How does your ability feel like?" Unbuckling my armor, I ask. She gawks, not finding the words. We both let the silence embrace us. I hang the armor and the belt with my rapier, fold the mail shirt and clean the boots.

"It feels natural, you know..." she begins. "Like I slipped a pair of shoes in just the right size. But I wouldn't even have considered it if… if you did not suggest it or if I was not scared out of my wits."

Or if there was no other choice.

She did not trust her ability but when she was pushed to the edge, fear takes over for her.

"Fear should not be the one that makes it work. You have to be able to control it."

"Okay…" Lila considers and unconsciously rubbing at her right arm. Her back straightens. She puts on a bold front.

"So, how? What should I do? When do we start?"

"Now." I say. She breathes sharply.

"I need to redress your wound," I nod at her bandages. It is blotched red. Lila notices the arm, confuse like she has forgotten it.

I explain to her the mechanics. I have to get some water on the well near the barracks, on the way there I want her to stay hidden. If I am able to guess three places she has lingered randomly then I win.

If not, I lose. "Think of it like a game."

"But," she flushes. "Never mind…"

"Ready?" I ask.

She furrows her eyebrows and looks straight into space. The twitch and shifts on her body weight, a sign of reluctance. Lila releases a deep sigh then nods.

I pick up a wooden bucket underneath the table and head outside. Semblance of the setting sun still colors the sky a dull copper and birds fly to a shelter for the night.

A circle of stones fitted together outlines the well. On one rock, a pail tied on its handle with a thick bundle of Abaca rope hangs on a hook. I throw the pail hearing the slosh of water as it hits the bottom. Adjusting the pail so that it allows the water to enter, I peek at the well, chasm of darkness in its forty feet depth. I heave it up to the surface when the rope pulled as the pail filled with water, then, transfer that water to my bucket.

Four times I repeat it until the bucket is brimming and went back to the quarters.

Sky now envelops the military base in the dark. Sconces are lit all around, on the barracks and the quarters guiding our way.

I pour some of the water on the basin. Lila unclasps her cloak sitting on the stool. I grab a small knife from the nails, slicing the linens open. Gingerly, she removes the bandages aside exposing the wound. It closed yet still delicate.

Lila is rigid, I notice. Her knuckles, gripping the dress near her knee, have gone white.

"This will be over before you know it," I assure her. She smiles, lopsided. Before soaking a cloth, I added vinegar to sterilize. I start cleaning it and Lila flinches at every stroke.

"So…" she croaks.

"So," I reply. Her sweat has gathered like pools on her forehead.

"I won."

She eyes me, surprised.

"You were waiting for me near the door. You walked on my rear five steps behind." I continue as I now daub a salve on the cut.

"And you were opposite me on the well." I finally patch her wound then wrap it in fresh bandages.

"How…?"

"Your shadow." I answer and she clicks her tongue.

"That's too easy."

She picks up the bloody tatters on the floor and I toss the water out, pass the flagstones of the quarters. I took one of the torches on the path, retrace the steps to my room, slid it to the bracket near my door.

"That's it? I mean if you can sense me then I'm pretty much dead." Lila paces again, agitated. I gently take her elbow, sitting her on the cot.

"It is not all about being unseen." I drop on a stool. "We have been trained to be invisible to our enemies as possible. How to spot one. That is why it is easy to tell where you are…"

Lila crosses her arms, narrowing her eyes at me. The light plays on her face making a strange hue.

"Eng't Urh is different. From what I understand in the folktales, you are not just the unseen, you are also–" I think of the right word.

"Indiscernible."

"Okay…"

"You are the air itself Lila… It is there but we cannot see it, we cannot feel it, yes?"

Lila regards me thoughtfully. At last, she nods.

"Good," I say. "Again." It is like the captain in me takes the reins. She dutifully follows albeit shock on her face.

Again.

Again. Again. And again. It seems I have said that a thousand times in a span of four hours. Her hiding skill is that of a five-year old.

Lila glares at me, hearing my thoughts.

Who hides next to a cabinet knowing the shadow will reveal you? I told her.

She retorted: "Just use some blindfold maybe you wouldn't be able to tell."

That was three hours ago.

I was blindfolded but I never lost. Other than I can feel her breathe, I can hear her scurry noisily to some hiding place.

"You cannot be a master of what you do in a few tries," I say untying the blindfold. She walks by, slumps face first on the bed.

"Yes, Captain." Her voice muffled by the pillow. "That wasn't a few tries but I get what you mean."

I went to my shelves taking the rum I have stored.

"Hey, Gaviel."

Lila props her elbow on the bed then sits up to see me. "I…Thank you, for this. I know you risked a lot for me. The truth is I don't even know where I fit in all this. You're even teaching me things that I should know. Thank you isn't going to cut it. I'm just, I'm really grateful."

How does one feel when a Mystic is grateful? I do not know. But it feels like bliss.

"You are welcome," I say.

"I hope we can pull this off."

"Me too."