CHAPTER IX

[Sir Gaviel]

"Remember," I say under my breath.

/Like settling on your own skin./

Lila retreats further in the shadows of the shelves as I root my feet on the slab of the training hall.

/And stay calm./

I close my eyes. There is no need for a blindfold. I can roam this hall blind. With my nose, dust, rust, earthen smell all tickle as I inhale. With my ears I hear breathing. My own. And Lila's, fluttering. Footsteps. Instinct tugs at me like a compass and I step down.

Lila is getting better at hiding. I got good at feeling her out as well.

I head straight for the rack of knives. She groans before I could say: "I win."

She materializes as I open my eyes as if I blink her to existence. Lines of her shoulders are high and she crosses her arms.

"Who keeps count?"

"Twenty-seven and zero," I remind her.

"You are so going to lose."

"While I am young Lila."

I won again the next round. She flickers in and out as she straightens her cloak.

"Maybe I'm doing it wrong."

"Your steps are barely audible. Progress."

Lila pouts and holds up her pointing finger. "One last round?"

"This time I want you on that stage." She skips to get there. The moonlight streaming through catches on her hair and skin I bite in a gag. It still unnerves me.

Before I could move, she is already gone. I set about our routine, going through every corner. When I am back at the center slab without her location for three minutes, I grin.

I cannot sense her.

/Stay like that. Know how long you can maintain it./

I take my rapier and position myself. Step and thrust. Offense then defense. I do our drills. It clears my mind, sharpens focus. Ten minutes later, I thought I can tell where she is but it was not Lila.

He hurls a dagger. I snatch it midair.

"Erasmus."

"Is this the secret of the white-haired beast's strength?"

"What do you want?"

"So gnarly in the morning." He marches to me, unsheathing his rapier. "Spar with me."

At some other time, I would have accepted that challenge only to watch him writhe in pain.

"I am just leaving." I drop his dagger, walking away.

"Does it not make you think, Gaviel. You are too trite. Too polished."

I pause to look him squarely.

"Too good to be true. A damn perfect spy you could be."

Corners of my mouth curl to a sneer. "Are you not the one spying?"

"True," he shrugs. "Then again I am only privy to you."

I near the doors when I feel Lila beside me. Erasmus calls out one last warning.

"Watch your back out there."

It was almost an insult.

* * *

I see Lila listless, breathing rhythmically in sleep. She has been with me for four days. I quench the torch on cue, plunging the room in darkness. I did not dare sleep, revulsed at what nightmares have in store for me.

Dawn is slow to come. I walk to my office, light the lamp in the desk, and read the parchments Captain Nicarsus have given me. Attaching a face with the names on the list, I try to distract myself.

"You are awake," I say.

Lila stands behind me, peering at my shoulder to the list in my hand.

"Nightmares?" When I did not respond, she concludes. "Nightmares."

I reach for another paper in my desk. Our schedule. Sure enough, all it has to say is train the new infantry but we have two days open. I could allow them to visit their families in five's.

"Hey," she says. I look at her under my lashes. She moved the three-legged stool near the desk, resting her chin on the table top. Her eyes are still creased with sleep otherwise alert.

"I had my fair share of secrets. It does something to you especially if you don't have someone to share them with."

"What do you mean?"

"You know that saying 'secrets can be your undoing'? It will be."

"You want me to share them with you."

She sighs. "No. I'm saying I am here to listen. That's what friends are for."

/Friends?/

She affirms with a smile that shies the sun.

"Friends."

* * *

We gather for afternoon sessions. After days spent tediously in the same routine of basics with the recruits, I pair them up for a practice fight. They encircle us. My men standing apart. Hughes and Lexxus is showing them how to fight from a bolo.

Hughes balks. I turn to the direction he is looking, squinting from the lack of sleep. General Miraz flanked by two of his Aeonnite lieutenants and two of his Faye'in men, crosses the field to us.

They haul a boy. Knees scraping the dirt. I come to recognize him as Nim, the same boy Hughes hit on the first day of training.

We stand in attention at the General. They sprawl Nim on the ground at my feet.

Unmoving, already beaten to a pulp. He is stripped of upper garment and I gauge his injuries at a second; awkward position of his right shoulder, dislocated; thirty lashes at his back. They have broken his knee too.

I crouch, exposing his chest and he howls as I did. A deep cut on his right eyebrow, broken nose, broken ribs I could go on but I hurtle to a stop.

"What did he do?" I ask. Stolid despite the seething rage.

"Caught stealing from the kitchens. Several other offenses and treason." The General counts, smirk plastered on his face.

I cannot help thinking he might have stolen a piece of bread because he was famished, not being fed enough. And he stole some more so he could give it to his friends. Noticing the way some recruits cannot hold my gaze and the horror it entails; I am correct.

Standing, I am taller than General Miraz but his gaze looks down on me.

"General–" Lieutenant Hughes starts but I held up a hand to stop him.

"You should bring this matter to the King," I say.

"We already did, Captain. He is found… guilty." All the guile in the world is in his words.

Eyes are on our side of the field. Other soldiers have halted their activity to gossip on us.

"And I did talk to your General. We both agreed that it is only right that you should be the one to execute this traitor. After all, you are his supervising officer."

I curtly nod. General Miraz walks to my side.

"You must feel betrayed Captain Gaviel," he appeals. I glance at Nim. His eyes are shouting for help.

"Public execution. He shall die by the bow."

I even my breathing. Nim is yank by Miraz's man. Forced to stand at his good leg, he clutches his broken side and he could not stand straight. I had to swallow the anger rising to my throat.

Afterwards, General Miraz says to the boy in Faye'in tongue, "I have a proposition for you boy, if you can cross the field within ten seconds you will live."

Nim sweeps the field with a trembling head. As he stares at me, he knows as well as I do.

He will not make it.

Yet, he starts walking. Painfully slow. Dragging his dislocated knee. The onlookers part sideways to let him pass.

Miraz is now counting… "ten…nine…"

Lieutenant Aurus presents me a bow and one arrow as one would present a gift. I wonder if he was the one who reported Nim.

"eight…seven…six…"

Arrow nock, drawn. "five… four… three–"

Thwack.

I let the arrow fly.

It impales his neck. The general did not finish counting. Nim crumples in one helpless figure and I press down hard on the emotions fighting to escape.