Finding Yourself

Being in Nathan's basement was like stepping into another reality. One where music was the centre of the universe. He had every music instrument imaginable. It reminded me of a really messy band room at school.

As I looked around, Nathan's four friends watched me. I looked at them, then at Nathan.

"Gonna introduce us," I asked Nathan with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, yeah!" Nathan cleared his throat. "Guys, this is my sister, Gabriella." I rolled my eyes. I didn't feel like correcting him. "Gabriella, these are the guys."

I waved. One of them waved back. The others just kind of nodded. They were all set up at different instruments and doing various other things.

"The guy at the mic, is Daniel."

Daniel, a guy with long, thick, black hair smiled at me. His black eyes seemed dull, and a little lazy. Almost like his brain wasn't here. His clothes looked like he got dressed in the dark. He had brown and black mixing together. It was one of those looks that wouldn't work for everyone, but works for him.

"The guy on the drums is Blake."

Blake waved with a stick. He was dressed in bright colours, with a grey beanie crammed on his head. His black tee shirt proudly displayed the name of the band, and went well with the yellow flannel that he put on over it.

"Our epic guitar man is Michel," Nathan continued.

Michel pretended to tip an invisible hat to me, while he checked his phone. He was dressed in a plain white tee shirt and ripped jeans. A brown hoodie hung loosely off his shoulders.

"And last, but never least, our bass player, Connie."

Connie smiled and waved. She was busy tuning her guitar, so she didn't wave for long. She was dressed in high waisted skinny jeans and a band tee shirt. Rubber bracelets adorned her wrists and her red hair was pulled into a side braid that ended near the top of her guitar.

"Together," Nathan said dramatically. "We are, Eclipse."

I raised an eyebrow. "You named your band after a Twilight book?"

Nathan blushed. "Kinda. It was also the day of an epic eclipse when we formed the band, so…"

"Yeah," Connie said as she plucked a string. "Nathan came to us, begging to form a band. He didn't wanna make music alone anymore."

I looked at Nathan. "You wrote music before the band formed?"

Michel laughed. "Our first album was Nathan originals. It took a few months before we found a good rhythm."

I nodded and sat at a piano that was set up facing everyone. Nathan sat next to me and smiled.

"Where do we want to start?"

"I had an idea for a tune," Daniel said. He started humming a medium paced tune, with a hint of sadness.

Nathan set his hands on the piano and began playing to match the tune. It sounded beautiful. Connie joined in after a minute. She added a deep line that added to the sadness. Blake then began adding the drum beat that kept everyone on the same rhythm. Michel began playing too, but his part floated above everyone's. His addition was happy, but mixed into the melody quite nicely.

Nathan smiled and Daniel started singing. Something about a girl he met when he was young and how she left him to follow her dreams. It was a really bitter sweet song. I found myself swaying along.

Gradually everyone stopped playing. They all grabbed papers, which were littered around the room on various stands. I looked over Nathan's shoulder and saw him drawing notes onto a page of sheet music.

When he was done, he looked at his band mates. "That was amazing!"

"I've had that circling my brain for a while," Daniel said with a faint smile.

"I like it. It's emotional, somber, but at the same time, sweet," Connie said as she began absentmindedly plucking.

I listened as they talked about the song and how the melody should go. They added and tweaked things, but it still had the same bittersweet feel to it.

"What does our audience think," Blake asked.

I shrugged. "I listen to heavy drums and guitars. I usually don't listen to soft stuff."

"We usually don't play soft stuff," Connie said. "We play a variety of different things."

I nodded. My phone dinged. I rolled my eyes and pulled my phone out. I thought it was gonna be Mrs Young checking in on me. Instead, there was a message on my Facebook.

Astrid Melissa: tru ur deal druggs? Need some pls!

I rolled my eyes and blocked Astrid. She seemed crazy. I deleted the message and slid my phone into my pocket.

Nathan gently nudged my arm with his elbow. "You okay?"

I nodded. He smiled and rubbed the top of my head. I pushed him gently away and fixed my hair. The rest of the day went like that. The band was writing music until seven in the evening.

"What do you want for dinner," Nathan asked after everyone left.

We were sitting in his kitchen. Nathan was standing by the back door, I was sitting on a bar stool at his island. My legs were swinging in the air, not even close to brushing the floor. My sketch book was open and I was sketching the band from memory.

"Food?"

Nathan laughed. My heart did a happy flutter. It had the same feeling that kids get when their parents say that they're proud of them. I smiled and glanced up at him. It was nice making someone laugh when I meant to make them laugh. I didn't realise how much I missed it.

I grinned and sat a little straighter. Nathan grinned at me and ruffled my hair. He turned to the freezer and my phone buzzed again. It was a call from an unknown number. I rejected it and just went back to drawing.

"So, what do you want to be when you get older," Nathan asked.

I shrugged. "I've never really thought about it before. I mean, when I did, I thought that I was gonna be living not far from home, with an extra room for Justin. In my mind, I was going to be working in the local store, or something."

I trailed off lamely and Nathan turned to look at me. I sighed and looked down at my sketchpad.

"Don't you just want to be happy?"

I shrugged. "Justin is what matters to me. I don't really care about what happens to me, as long as I can be there for Justin."

Nathan nodded. "That makes sense. However, you should aim for more than just a store job. It's okay to want it, but you must have hopes and dreams."

I shrugged and tapped my pencil against my sketchbook. Nathan walked over and looked at my drawing.

"Maybe you could draw comic books."

I looked at the page and shrugged. "It's probably not good enough, though."

He took another look at the page. I wasn't even close to done. I was done with the background. I was working on Daniel. He was dancing a little at the mic. Nathan smiled and pointed at Daniel.

"That happened earlier today, didn't it?"

I nodded and smiled.

"Maybe you should be what you are now. An artist."

With that, he walked away. I looked at the page and tilted my head to the side. For a second, I thought about it. Drawing all day. Making money from it. That would be awesome. I could do that.