Starting over

Starting a new school is never easy, let alone in the middle freshmen year. Especially when its the fifth school you've attended...

Yet here I am again standing in another unfamiliar hallway with people looking at me in the way they do when someone new has arrived. For very few it was the look of wonder and excitement, they want to see how you will fit and what change will come from it. For most, its the look of alienation... as if how dare I step foot here, and who do You think you are. Do you actually think you'll fit in here.

I've seen this look many times before, it's nothing new. In fact I've grown a custom to it. I find it amusing at this point. The funny thing is they think I care... I don't! At this point in my life even though I'm may be young, I'm not like them, any of them.

I've had to grow up faster then most, and as I may have some of the same thoughts and worries as any teenager. It doesn't end there for me... it's not like this is my fifth school for no reason. And even though it may be my fifth school is doesn't mean I haven't changed from that school back to the other same school many times before. My life has always been a roller coaster, and not so much in a good way.

I wish I could say I had to move because of family business or that my father had to move around because he was in the military. The fact of the matter is my father hasn't been in my life since I was a very young child, and who knew if he was alive or dead.

What did that matter anyways, in the scheme of things I had much bigger things to deal with.

So I'm here not because of greatness or success, but simply sadness. It has always just been my mother and I, to make it through life, and I who had to hold us together.

My mother wasn't a bad person, but she did have many demons. Which was hard for her to fight on her own. So for as long as I can remember I had to help her, but this time I failed and things had went to far. This is how I ended up here and this is the reason I didn't care...I had much bigger issue then who was going to take me to home coming.