Love is never a choice

It is the third day after the recent acting thing started in our school.

'Chirp' 'Chirp'

The birds warble as I get into Lucas' car, and weo-o he speeds it off. "Be careful kids," My mum nudges us with a smile.

"We will!" I and Lucas yell back at her, as we break down in waves of laughter. "Haha-dude, that was fun!" I say to him, still giggling.

"It was," He nods, chuckling. "Hey, so what did you decide? Will you be going?" Lucas asks me. "I will, I guess. I had asked mum the other night, and she approvingly prompted us three to attend the classes."

"I am also thinking of going there," Lucas mutters. "Yeah. Let's see what Maria says." I say to him.

"Hah-I bet she'll go," Lucas says. I giggle as I say to him, "Yeah,"

After some time, I ask him, "Luc-?" I ask.

"Yeah?"

"Can you love somebody you can't have?" I say, looking at him. "Huh-?" He asks, slanting his head in my direction in a subtle movement.

"What do you think?" I ask him.

The red light was on and the cars were all lined up after one another in a fabricated pattern. Among all the cars teetering and people chattering, I look into Lucas' shadowy opaque blue eyes. They flicker for a second before losing their lustre.

"I don't know," Lucas says, curving his head away from me.

I shrug as I say to him, endeavouring to institute the matter, "Like seriously, why would you love an individual you know you can't have."

"It's completely irrational right?!" I add. Listening to this he tilts his head to me again as he says, "Is this about one of your bad boy tropes again?"

"Ah dude-come on!" I say mildly, slapping his shoulders. "Come on!" I say again irritated, as this guy starts chortling.

"What-why are you laughing?!" I ask annoyed at him again. "Lisa," He calls me as he persists chuckling.

"What-?" I answer in annoyance, glancing away from him. "Loving a person you know you can't have is-" Lucas bumbles as he says 'hard' in a soft voice. "It is even more difficult than the word difficult itself."

I turn to look at him and he seems to be a little different. The Lucas I know would never say something this seriously, in such a surly tone. Looking at Lucas's sober side profile I giggle a smallish as I say, "Huh-dude, when do you know so much about love and loving?!" It wasn't technically a laugh, but a rather clumsy one.

'Ahe-em' I cough as I peek at him. He is glancing at me, carrying a countenance I have never had seen before. . .a face so grim.

'What's up with him?' I wonder as I look at his murky eyes. "Dude-you alright?"

"What do you think-" He flashes a scintillating smile as he says with full pride, "Of course I am, more than alright."

"Huh-" I roll my eyes at him, with an unknown-to-me smile on my face. We both then glance back at each other and giggle. Lucas takes a deep breath after a string of profound deep breaths taking together. "Lisa, it's hard to love someone you know you can't and shouldn't have."

"It's-" He glances back at me and says with a smile, "Not at all something anyone would like encountering."

"So that means it's not worth it?" I ask him, as I glance at him. He furrows his forehead, as he seems to ponder for a while. He then looks at me and says, "No. If you love them and if they really mean anything to you. No."

Scrunching my brows at what he said, I glance at him. "Loving is not a choice, Lisa."

I knit my eyebrows even more, "Huh-? It isn't?"

How could it not be a choice?! Doesn't loving mean liking someone voluntarily-something you do deliberately. Then-? How can it not be a choice? A selection that you make?

Shaking his head Lucas says, "Loving someone is just a series of sweetly painful delights. It is sweet to be close to the one you love. But-" He continues turning his head to the other side, "Extremely painful to know that you have to be asunder from them, even though you-,"

"-love them, more than it's needed to?" I end the sentence, glancing at him. He looks back at me, with a surprised face.

I smile at him as I say, "It's not a rule that you'll have to stay detached from them. Always. You can have them if you want." I clap my hands together, as I say the last part.

His eyes trail my hands and linger its gaze on them, before he glances at me, "How?"

"Simple-" I say. "All you'll have to do is-" I inhale a sharp and profound gust of air. I say "Breath." Moving my chest up and down, as I inhale and exhale twice, I say "And do what you think is adequate."

"Huh-?" Lucas asks.

"I mean, follow your heart, idiot," I say, pushing his head. "Ask yourself what might be the best thing you can do. What will make you ultimately delighted? Staying in and put about your emotions. Or manning up the courage and-confessing!"

"Which one would you do if you'd be in the same circumstances?" Lucas asks in a low tone. His eyes look negligibly shadier than they were before. He had a weary expression on his face and two evenly suppressed dark circles.

I reach out my hand as I softly touch the skin, under his eyes. Caressing the difficult-to-see eyebags I slowly murmur to him, "Have you been staying up at night?" Glancing at him, candidly in the eye I say "Pulling all-nighters?"

"I-"

'Honk'

'Honk'

'Honk'

'Honk'

The traffic light rays with vivid green, and all the cars start tottering their trumpets in great haste.

Lucas swiftly starts driving again and we gradually leave the muddling commotion.

"So-" as the car keeps on rumbling with the brawny potency it has, I glance at Lucas and he says, "-what would you have done, if you were in that situation."

"Me?" I say, "Well, I would-" glancing at all the luminously glowing red brake lights, the handsome sky I say, "Never give up on him."

"If I ever fall in love and love a guy. I'll go to the other end of the world for him," I say in a quiet, slow murmur.

I've never fallen in love, and have had no experience with 'boyfriends' if you take the initial definition. But when I think of love, its meaning and what I want from it is clear to me.

"That's something only a fully-fledged brain would express," Lucas says with a smile. And the enigmatic expression on his fade seems to have long gone. It's as if it never existed.

I smile at him as I say, "Duh-"

"Seriously Lisa-you should be up for conceptual activities."

"Like what?"

"You know things only old souls would do."

"Ah, Luc-you surely want to get a thrashing early in the morning, huh?!"

...…

"Let's register for the classes then?" Maria asks, glancing at me and Lucas concurrently. "Yup. I'll get my name listed, today. What do you say, Luc?" I ask looking at him.

He glances at me and Maria, before saying "If you both are going then-I'll go too."

And~ that's how we three got assembled together-and got enlisted into the drama classes. Together. Correction: excluding one fool, the three of us got enlisted into the classes!