Just a wishful thinking

Living and being next to someone you know you love, yet can't have is a terrible feeling to undergo. It's one of those things you'd never want to experience, nonetheless when you do, despite it being so uncanny and painful, you still kind of want more… I don't know. It's just so hard to describe. Yet, once you are there, you just understand. You just, do.

When you are in that sort of circumstances. You wonder. You wonder, how it would have been if things were diverse. You result out all the contradictory consequences of everything that sequels from all the questions. But still, even after all of that. The only resolution you'll reach in the end, is this- Even though it will yank you apart to be with that person, it would literally butcher you to be apart from them…

Perhaps you are assuming how terrible of a thing it is, to be in such a position, aren't you? Many do when they first hear about this hypothesis. And to be quite honest, at first I did not quite believe this myself. I mean, how hard would it be to control your feelings? You just have to like the 'right' person. Don't you? It's easy, is it not? But slowly, as I got more into it myself, I started wondering, and requisitioning my past self. "Is it? Is it that easy?"

"Is there really something such as knowing whom to like? Knowing who the right person is?"

"Is it. Ever possible?"

***

"Woohoo, people!" A cheery voice whooped. "We are going to be all actors." Maria came into the car, with a big plump smile plastered on her face.

"Hey," I say to her, beaming. "I know right. The feeling is something so different." I add.

This was the first time we are ever going to do something like this. We have experienced in a lot of other sorts of programs, like MUNs and we even got a chance to get into IMUN once, but 'drama classes' were a whole foreign thing.

"What do you think he'll ask us to do?"

"Wait" I interrupt. "You think he'll ask us to do something, on the first day?"

Maria shrugs her slender shoulders, "He might."

"I won't be surprised if he does," Lucas adds. I look at him, and actually, he has quite low enthusiasm saying that on his face, than you'd expect.

I stare at him and can't help but think about what he said in the morning.

~flashback

From the moment he appeared at our house, he seemed a bit odd. Not that he was acting out, or not talking too much. He was, in fact talking a lot. And I mean it. For Lucas, he was talking quite a lot.

"See this-isn't it like a snail?" The first thing he shows, coming into my house, is a small plush toy made out of play dough. He knows I always get annoyed whenever anyone comments that 'rabbit' that I had made back in my childhood days, as a 'snail.' Like, come one. There is a big HUGE gap between a snail and a rabbit. Right?

"Lucas!" I shout at him, as I see him sitting on my bed holding the pinkish-green coloured rabbit of mine.

"Why on earth would you hold that?!"

"Because I like snails."

"It is a rabbit."

"Is it?! Hah—" he chuckles before saying, "Wait a second."

Taking his phone out, he started typing something in it. "What-what are you doing again?"

And only when he holds his phone in front of my plush rabbit do I understand he must be doing something to annoy me. YET AGAIN.

"Luc, what on earth do you think you are doing?"

He glances at me for a second, smiles and diverts his attention back to his phone. "Wha-what are you typing again? Huh?!"

He does not respond, so I yelp forward and try to snatch it away from him. He swirls the chair, and turns his back on me. "Luc~"

"Wait let me just type this up, in the group."

"What did you type?"

He shamelessly lets out a chuckle. 'Ah I sometimes regret not killing him. Seriously.'

Though I was not able to snatch the phone out of his hand, I blinked fast enough to be able to see what he had typed. 'Hey guys, you gotta see this.- Lisa made such a cute snail.'

"Hey-delete tha—" And just as I was about to finish my sentence I saw that he had aleady sent it. It was written right at the bottom right of his text. Delivered.

Turning towards the door I shout, "Mom! MOM!!"

"Mom!" No matter how much I may shout, my mom just never pays enough attention to take time, and listen to me.

"What is it?" After what felt like forever she eventually came and spreads the door open. "Why did you let him inside my room?" Pointing towards the boy on my study chair, I ask my mom.

"Am I not allowed to?" Turning towards my mother, that dude dared to show his puppy eyes. Lucas' special tactic of displaying his unsophisticated innocence. No matter who was in front of him. Every time he did that, he would be able to get away, with anything. ANYTHING!

And like always, my mother got coaxed by those pompous eyes. Yet again!

"Why can he not?" My mom says, turning towards me. "Mom!" I call her again. "He is seeing you since you were a child. What is so odd about him visiting your room? He can do that whenever he wants to."

"How is that anyhow fair?" I try disputing back. "How is it not?" My mom glares with the same fiery eyes, I am trying to use on her. Yikes. You can never triumph over your moms, can you? "I am already way too late today Lisa, I don't have time for these. Get ready, quick." And then she sweetly says to the other person in the room, that is not me, "Make sure you grab the yellow box on the table. I have prepared some appetising grub for my son."

"Huh-what?!" I shout, looking at her. "Mom, you said you have a trial today and you don't have the time to prepare anything."

"Yes I did, but since Luc comes to pick you up so early in the morning, I doubt if he even has his breakfast properly. I can't let him fall ill because of not eating properly, can I?"

"He always comes to pick me up, in the morning. What is so new about it?"

"It's alright maa. If Lisa wants to have it, then she gladly can." Turning towards me he smiles, saying "I would not mind."

'Who cares if you mind or not?!' I don't know whom I had met in my dreams last night, for me to experience these sorts of things, first thing in the morning.

My mom winks at him, saying "No problem, you'll have your share. And if you want, double~"

Turning towards him, I see him showing a thumbs up to my mom, which she gladly returned, before finally closing the door.

"Huh-what?" I continue to stare at him. He covers himself and says, "What?"

'Something sure is up,' I think.

"Will you say, what's wrong?" I look at him and ask him the question back. "You should answer that first."

He gives me a confused look, "What?"

Coming closer to the bed, I kneel on it. Placing my head at the same level as his, I stare at his clear blue eyes. Every time I look into these eyes, I always imagine how damn good they are. I mean, everyone's eyes are nice looking, and they all are awesome too. But his eyes were a different kind of beautiful. It's as if his ones got special attention from all the rest.

"What happened?" Lucas slowly mutters, staring at me. I suddenly realize I was staring at him all this time. Pulling myself back, I ask him. "Why are you acting strange?"

"Huh?" He replies, with a complex face. He is acting strange. A lot strange.

"Yeah."

"How?"

"I mean, you—" I glance at him, and say with many intricacies. "You aren't usually this chatty. But these days you are just being unusually talkative, for some reason."

"Talkative?" he repeats.

"Yeah."

"Is that a crime?" He asks.

"Nope. Why would it be?"

'It's just strange." I glance at him. 'Because it's you, who is acting this way.' I keep the last words to myself, and drag myself to the washroom.

"Let me freshen up, a bit," I say, walking away into the corner of my room.