Redd River **** Chapter Forty-Nine

The guest bedroom had become so crowded, I had all four children, the cribs and a microwave in the room, it was my turn to be petty. My unborn baby went from inactive to field goal kicker all of a sudden, we fought. TJ2 was the fetus from hell, I could not eat anything. I smoked weed with the trash can beside me in the new car Trent had bought me. I had downgraded and downsized to a Chevy Cruz from a Dodge Charger, but he ended up giving me his Chrysler 300 and drove the Cruz. He began to correspond dryly, a result of his guilt, and when the kids were away I began to do shit Christy had done like walk around naked with a huge belly, and play with the sex toys I ordered in front of his extremely stubborn ass. He would watch and then say "U satisfied now," but then go shower. I found it funny. I would show him petty.

He put up the Christmas tree and Ryella fell in love with it, I realized it was her first one. He would whisper shit to her and she would look at me and laugh so hard, it started to piss me off. All he would tell her was to look at my apple head ass, she would be so tickled and her condition would rub off on us. I missed the old times but the child I carried had driven a wedge between us and I really didn't know if it was his or Redd's, we had sex a week before the rape and he hadn't pulled out. One day I was combing my hair, he volunteered to comb it and said I didn't need my arms over my head. Was he starting to care? A week later he came in the kitchen happy because he had started having weird symptoms of being sick, the doctor told him he had couvade syndrome he had a baby somewhere. That nigga came in screaming and kissing on me, I was excited for his excitement but still hadn't known for sure, the pregnancy reminded me of when I was pregnant with Boogie, but I was young and it was after an abortion and miscarriage, Daddy had impregnated me and Redd had too. It was rough but the child I carried was angry. And when he was born he struggled to open his eyes but when he did, looked at me like "I couldn't wait, I just had to see now u bitch." He rolled his eyes until he could talk.

I had to help Trenton get back on track with his life, he became ambitious again but it had been a rough six months for him. The most vital shipments from the Orchard were not shipped, he had just shut down and his Frat brother had come to recover the business, but a couple of the distributors had already contracted with new suppliers. He hadn't paid the grounds keepers, only because he could not function. I became the bookkeeper and the manager and waited for spring, it was slowly approaching. When the money began to pour in I felt accomplished.

As I shopped at Office Depot one morning someone said, "Bitch, u stay pregnant, I know why." I turned to see Christy, where she once thick, she was now small and frail. I didn't even recognize her, her face just didn't look the same and I knew I could not let Trent know I had seen the bitch. I pretended to be happy to see her trifling ass but immediately asked about Tobias. "I was about to ask u," she responded. "Damn I miss u, I been looking for u since I been out!" She rubbed under my belly, and kissed me by my mouth. I had no social media accounts for that exact reason. I had cut everyone off, I was a new me. I had been through so much and I just could not trust people, I only trusted my husband. "I'm sorry about Twan, I wanted to tell u but---damn, bitch u married now?" He needed to stop buying rings...

"Yea," I said waiting for her to continue.

"He must be papered up! Where are u staying?"

I lied and said in Shreveport but lived 2 miles away. She wanted to know when I was due and if I was still feeling her, hell naw. I mean I missed what we did, and had but she looked like a sick dog. She still had money I could tell but she needed to shake back. "Right after u visited, Sabrina came to jail for trying to kill that niggas baby mama." Shameka? Oh, bitch but how you get out. "Girl give me your number, I got an appointment, I'll call u as soon as I leave," I said while looking through the large windows at the parking lot. I had not wanted to see that bitch! I was trying to mend and forget the past, I would go on a killing spree if I didn't! I was trying to supress the anger and feelings of being betrayed but craved revenge. Trent was my world away from that world and I could see how he regretted the time we lost by being petty toward each other. He had the twins hooked on apples and knew they were laxatives! On purpose!

I wanted that bitch to just disappear. She reached to kiss again me after putting her number in my phone. "Bitch not here, but I miss u," I said.

"U staying on track with the Iphones now, huh?" I remembered I didn't know shit, Redd had always bought me prepaid phones and wouldn't pay the bill, with Trent we never received bills, they were automatically paid. "Well make sure u call, I got so much to tell u, it didn't work out with Tobias, he was still in love with Carlita and was on some more shit. That's what he get for going behind his brother." WHO TWAN?!! Something stabbed me right then I think it was obvious. I just turned around with the basket and walked toward the counter. Christy picked up blank check paper and walked out without paying. Tobias and Twan did not play fair, and I had babies for that nigga! One jab after another, no mercy. God, I hadn't even asked to be born! I went home and tried to forget the encounter and was glad I didn't tell that bitch nothing! Trent had prepared Lobster, and stood in the kitchen when I came in talking about, "Ok, Bae, this is a test! Eat this!" If he fed me one more thing the baby was not supposed to like! He was making me sick as FUCK, the baby didn't like none of that shit!

He rubbed my feet one night and said, "I remember this scar underneath, u wouldn't have it if u wouldn't have ran, look how many scars u got just because u ran." I didn't say anything. He kissed me though, it was passionate and I took his hand and placed it on my belly. His body relaxed in a way I couldn't describe. It was as if he was inhaling. He opened my legs, putting my left one on the arm of the sofa and inserted his finger, I instantly became wet I wanted him. I needed his pain, all of it. He just fondled a brief moment and looked at his wet hand and said, "I just wanted to know if u wanted me," before getting up. I could see his dick down his leg. If he didn't soon fuck me I would completely go nuts! He played too many games, sometimes I could feel him inside of me while I was sleep and I would react, so I moved back in the bedroom away from my babies when I slept, Ryella had watched me apparently and Trenton was furious. Hell it was his fault he wouldn't please me. I would smoke to keep my appetite, I'd gained 30 pounds so fast because I smoked and the weed made me so horny, he thought I had been given Ecstacy. Twan was always in my head, and since Trent wouldn't please me he would also be in my dreams. I had it bad mumbling his name, so one night as he stood over me, I must have said it. Trent climbed in bed and his sex was so rough, strangely I was pleased momentarily, but he had carefully lost control. He climaxed gripping my hair from behind but angrily said, "Im not competing with no dead ass nigga! Neither one of them!" He was so upset he slammed the door and would not talk to me. I smelled his joint through the vents.

I felt terrible, I had wanted his passion and not---that! The contractions from his release had me so sexually aroused, I had not been pleased! I needed to feel his mouth, he knew what I needed! I picked up my phone and looked at Christy's number, but threw it on the floor, what had he done to me? I went back to sleep and the next morning the TV blasted the news in the bedroom. I put the pillow over my head talking shit to Ryella because I knew she had the damn remote. When they said a body had been found in the Red River I thought nothing of it, just was glad it wasn't mine. The name of the victim had not been released. They went on to a story about a community garden that had been maintained by an elderly woman and they were honoring her. I got up, showered and walked into the den, Deuce was the only child awake and he crawled on the floor while Trent talked on the phone. He saw me and ended the call. I knew it hadn't been Ryella who had turned on the TV. He had been somewhere, I had known because the umbrella was wet beside the door still. He greeted me and began to talk about future plans for the Orchard telling me I needed to know the difference in the apples, awkwardly. I listened but was curious about the umbrella. We need to take a trip, Im sending u to the salon. I already spoke to Carmella. He went into his wallet and gave me three 100 dollar bills, I assumed he felt better after the sex. I got dressed and he said he would wait on Carmella and dress the kids. I wondered about the urgency but humbly followed his instructions. I went to get dressed and make sure India could see me at a short notice. After confirming I put on my shoes and Sesame Street Beanie he bought. As I exited the room I heard the next segment of the news, the body had been identified. 34 year old Brandon Lewis Sr. had been shot 11 times and thrown in the Red River in the early morning hours, they didn't have the exact time of death. I dropped everything I had and sat down. Was Redd dead? Nah, for real. I don't know why it hit me the way did, I remembered back to when I met him, he had come home from juvenile detention and was so cute, I hadn't cared what he had done, and never really found out.

I regained my composure and when the baby started kicking me all of a sudden I didn't know what to think. I walked through the living room without a word, it was as if Trent knew what I had just seen on the news. He said nothing but watched a demeanor I could not conceal. I looked at the umbrella and tried to calculate how wet it would have really been a few hours earlier, it looked close to dry. Had I married a killer? He had mentioned before about being a street nigga and had said he had done a complete 360, he hadn't wanted nothing to set him back to his old ways. I left and went to the salon and watched the segments from my phone, the information was still limited. The nights segment provided more detail, he had been gunned down from behind and dragged in the Red River, inhumanely. They had no witnesses or leads. His grief stricken sister gave her statement and requested respect in their time of bereavement. Bitch.

I wanted to know if Trent had killed Redd, when I asked he said, "U should know me by now," and nothing else.