Blue Bonnet **** Chapter Fifty-Five

Troy called for a few days before I finally answered him, I had told him in advance not to call. I did not need any smoke from Trent, we had been to our Wednesday session and the therapist could tell it had been a rough past few days. We went home, made love and watched Lawrence lie to his wife, he kept leaving to look for Christy. It resulted in him telling lie after lie. Soon it became redundant, but I also wondered where the bitch was. I was missing the harassment, I hoped no one had killed the bitch. Nakia had informed me they were leaving and she hadn't known when they would come back to visit. I tried to pay her for watching the children. She had babysat numerous times since they had been in town and I hadn't wanted to take advantage of her kindness. I offered two hundred fifty dollars, she declined she was just that angry.

The evening he called I had just fucked my husband and I was trying to reassure Nakia Lawrence's awkward behavior was a result of him being overwhelmed with new clients since he was the Safety Manager. I had become the Accounts Payable Analyst, Product Manager, and the System Administrator it seemed overnight, he had said it was mandatory to learn the Apple Business and it definitely had benefits. Trenton would laugh more but his insecurities outweighed mine. He would speak of me leaving him like he expected it, nothing would make me abandon what we had. I didn't want to seem like the hoe I felt I was so a phone call was harmless I concluded days after his hardheaded ass called against my wishes. I wanted to just fuck him and leave him alone. "I'll call u," I told him, I KNEW Trent just seemed innocent but was bar-none gansta, I didn't know what all he had seen but determined he was the type that would likely kill u when u least expect and have no remorse. They had trained him to be that way. I sometimes felt like a sympathy case and when I thought about how I ended up with him my pride would get in the way. He had just been too persistent and I had fallen victim, if I did get caught up no doubt it would have been my own dumb ass fault. He was so secluded, the children, Ryella and the twins had tutors. I didn't know why he would be paranoid, but he really didn't want us to have to leave home, when we did it was strictly business and the children stayed behind.

When Troy called I told him I had made a mistake and I basically had been mad at Trent the evening I called, I wanted to just forget it happened and we would see each other around. No strings attached. "Oh, yeah?" He said. "U will be back." I hung up in his face. He hadn't thought I meant it when I said we could only be cool friends, when I went out I would hook up and smoke with him, nothing else. I didn't know how Trent knew I had come home high the day I went to the yogurt shop but assumed Nakia "mentioned" it to him. I loved Trent and even though I felt betrayed I couldn't risk my marriage, freedom, or life.

Christy's messages had somewhat disturbed me, the last one had been sent half way through, and she never continued it. She was upset because I wasn't responding and had blocked her. She didn't understand, I had to leave her alone. Had she expected me to jeopardize what I had? The voices would tell me he didn't love me, but he showed me he did. I would look at the scratches when he took off his shirt and he would walk around like they were a trophy. I knew I was in too deep with Trent, my escape would likely certainly not be jail.

He would speak about another child because he felt like he missed out on a lot with TJ2 and I knew he had but Lord knows I tried hard not to conceive. After so long he wasn't feeling the pull out method and the sex would be so intense, I just hated when he was angry and wanted it, he would try to get me pregnant. So far my prayers had been answered because I could not tame him and he just didn't understand. At the same time it was sad to say, the children were my assurance.

I knew about the apple festival approaching and like clockwork he prepared for the event saying the children would really enjoy it and I would too, he also mentioned an antique car show. He had gone one evening and suggested Carmella come and get the children, she had been calling and I hadn't wanted them to go back. When he made me realize she loved and missed them I agreed but only for the weekend. TJ2 would stay at home, he would just look at me, the bastard hadn't started crawling and never would, I contributed it to him being too fat not because he was retarded, like they claimed.

I stopped trying to figure my husband out, it was driving me crazy but had learned so much from him. Before the festival he said he had to go on a trip. I began to realize if I wasn't invited it was work related he would leave me behind. The way he informed me he was leaving for Virginia let me know he would be gone for more than a couple days. He left money for grocery and told me to call Mya if I got bored. I had a bottle of Sangria and some weed he left on the island. As if he knew I was alone Troy called twice while I showered.

Mya was delighted to come over but her mother was gone and she didn't have a ride. Without a response I texted my husband "going to pick Mya up," put TJ2 in his carseat and drove to her house. Shortly she came out and we went back home. She asked if her boyfriend could come over, "Sure, why not?" I responded. After a couple hours of TV I went to sleep, the baby had fallen asleep beside me, Mya decided she wanted to try the weed so I didn't object, she was 19 and her boyfriend smoked on a regular basis, but I knew she smoked already, who didn't? Even Trent smoked and I would have never suspected. He had in fact said he smoked occasionally when we met. I dreamed, and it was strange, I never dreamed when I went to sleep high, however Troy had been in the dream and he was talking but I could not hear him. I awakened from the dream trying to recollect the events, but I remembered reading his lips. My heart was pounding as if it had been a nightmare, and as soon as I reached for my phone to see the time it rang. 3:12 a.m., it was Troy, and the phone had only rang once. It was hauntingly coincidental, but he had already called twice so I disregarded the thought that had surfaced, I wondered if perhaps it was a sign around the time I heard the headboard slamming against the wall in the guest bedroom. I heard Mya and laughed before sitting up feeling for my slippers with my toes. Troy texted as soon as I found them: "Just wanted to see u and smoke, I guess I'll head out. Maybe I'll get at u when I come back in town."

Come back? I instantly texted back: U CAN'T LEAVE! His message bubble appeared then vanished, he was pondering I could tell.

"Oh, is that all it took for u to respond?"

I had responded without thinking, I didn't even know why I texted him back, especially "U CANT LEAVE!"

As he had, I began to respond to his sarcasm, sarcastically, but stopped typing. I started back, "Where are u?"

"Close. See u in 20 minutes, u know where."

Shit. It was only a blunt. My hair was wet and unstyled so I put on a bonnet, some Pink sweats and a tank. I slid on my slippers while listening to Mya forget Vernon's name. The pounding stopped and then picked up its pace against the wall, she was screaming bloody murder. I tapped on the door so she would not wake up TJ2. I left and met Troy in TCBY parking lot. It was before business hours so the parking lot was empty. I could see the orange Camaro as I approached. I pulled beside him and got into his car, he drove away.

"U are hardheaded, I said. My husband will kill me if he knew I've-----met u!"

He smiled. "We're friends remember, u can't have friends?"

He was so sarcastic, I didn't respond but sided with his defense. We were friends. "No hug?" he asked. Maybe---I thought, but I wouldn't just give in. It was good to see the chocolate ass nigga but he was skating on thin ice. As he passed the blunt I envisioned Trent killing everybody I met as if it was a premonition, and giggled.

"Yea, u can have a hug," I said, "but not while u drive."

We were on I20 and I said I couldn't go far. "U scared the nigga gone cut ya head off? I got u, we just riding Baby."

"Hazel," I corrected.

As I expected we rode to Shreveport and parked on Clyde Fant Parkway. We finished the blunt and he lit another. He had come in basketball shorts and a wifebeater, his choice of clothing was so similar to how Twan had dressed, I began to reminisce. "I haven't forgot about the hug." He said after we talked about miscellaneous shit. Why hadn't he looked like he was leaving? I gave him the hug, he groped my titties, I pushed him away. "U smell good," he said before snatching off my bonnet and rubbing my scar with his thumb. Nigga what the fuck! Stop that!!

"I missed u," he said.

"Where is your girlfriend?" I asked.

"With your husband," he replied before asking for a kiss. I hadn't come to kiss him and if I did he had just pissed me the fuck off. I pushed him as he leaned, but I was satisfied with the request. Trent made me feel---insecure at times. The reason was the niggas would not stare at me anymore, he would give them the stare of death, it had taken a while to realize. Because I no longer got the attention I felt ugly. I had the scar, all the babies. I'd been shot twice, of course I wasn't attractive! Troy had been the only one who thought I was worth looking at, and he wanted to kiss me. It suddenly became flattering and I wanted to kiss him too, but that was it. I was satisfied and had even worn sweats. I would kiss him but not at that moment. As I smoked and smelt his cologne he began to look like a chocolate covered angel. "Take me back," I said. He put the car in drive. I watched him smile and bite his lip to see if I would stop him, after I didn't he pulled off. "U are pretty as fuck," he said, "and I didn't get the kiss I wanted. We sat at the red light waiting to turn left. I leaned over and kissed him, he sucked on my lips with his thumb against my throat. "U knew not to kiss me while parked huh," he said. He grabbed his dick and I sat back in my seat, we got onto the freeway. As we rode I received the fright of my life!

He was only driving about 50 in a 60 mph speed zone, we were smoking so he was cautious about speeding. The kiss had him rock hard and his idle hands were roaming over my body, he was turning me on and had mentioned exiting on Monkhouse Dr. to go to a hotel. I wanted to fuck him but I was NOT going to a hotel with that nigga, I had already overstepped my boundaries, I loved my husband and didn't want a fling. He put the signal light on to exit but laughed and kept going to see my reaction. I was relieved to be headed back but the nigga had me so horny, my thoughts were drumming against my skull! The nigga had no protection, I would not risk it. He kept mentioning the previous sex and said he tried to respect my wishes by not calling but he just gave in, and he couldn't stop thinking about me. I was getting so wet as he spoke, had I in fact still been attractive? I felt good about what he said but I also had good sense. I told him we could not see each other again, I was a fruitcake, I even mentioned being a serial killer, I told him all bullshit aside, I wasn't what he wanted, I was just a good fuck. He laughed. "U will be back," he said. He pissed me off, and thought I was a joke apparently! I wanted to get out and we were still ten minutes away. He kept taking off my bonnet, and as I snatched it back for the last time a car sped past us doing 100 mph at least! Luckily I snatched the bonnet back and force of habit caused him to look in the rearview, he was able to get in another lane. He swerved and looked like he saw his life flash before his eyes. I know he did because I saw mine. He was then mad as fuck! I was so scared I didn't know what enemies he had and didn't want to be in the crossfire. I was so shaken when we arrived at my car, he got out and was trying to look me in my eyes to see if I was ok. Neither of us had really said nothing. I told him I was fine, I just wanted to go home. He grabbed me and threw me against my car, and kissed me. I was trembling so hard, and his lips were so warm something overcame me, I didn't know what but I knew I did not want to be seen. He had stuck his hand in the front of my sweats, I was so wet and he was begging me for it, saying he couldn't sleep. He was rubbing me with his nose against my neck saying don't go home. I resisted, pushed him away and got inside.

I didn't want to see him again, I was more afraid now for whatever reason. I rolled the window down and he was still asking, with an erection. I drove away.

I went home everyone was asleep.

Trenton returned a couple days later from his trip, he was in a good mood. I greeted the man I loved. I could see so much love in him, he seemed anxious to get back home to us. "I brought everybody something!" he said, and he had. The children had toys and he handed me a bag, I know u like these," he said. I was so excited, he would always give me gifts and I loved them all. "I can't wait until u open it!"

I opened it and he had bought 3 blue bonnets like the one I had worn to see Troy, "I know u like to put these on when u wash your hair, I hope u like them." I pretended to be surprised, and I fucking was. The bonnet I had worn, I never found again. I texted him to ask if I left it, I didn't know for sure, I was so high. He never responded.