Heated **** Chapter Fifty-Six

I would not tell Trent that I was pregnant but I knew I was, and he would just do dumb shit like marinate and slow roast onions. I woke up retching and ran to the bathroom, I was throwing up all of my insides. He stood on the other side of the door knocking with his index knuckle, "Annie? Are u okay?! Are u okay Annie..." The whole home smelled like onions for days, and he went from onions to moth balls, I despised him. It seemed like he had no doubts I was pregnant and he was indeed the father. I went into a deep depression. I attended the car show at the Orchard, but hadn't enjoyed it. The children had a blast, so did Carmella and Hal. I returned home and just wanted to sleep. I would wake up to Ryella's snitching ass in my bed trying to give me her version first, casually. I would eat, and go back to bed. My husband finally demanded me to go to the hospital, I couldn't even stand to hear them cry, all I could think about was why had he done that to me again! He had intentionally got me pregnant I would beg him to pull out, it only turned him on. Why! What if I said there were 2 babies again, and TJ2, I couldn't handle another special needs baby. "Having so many pregnancies, a case like his is common," his pediatrician had said one day I broke down, "Trenton still has a chance, we won't know for sure until he develops more." He wouldn't crawl, I would put him in the swing and he would just swing face down all day! I would get mad and tell him he better pick his got damn head up! He would NOT be retarded. Who would know at 10 months he would just get up and take off across the floor walking without crawling. Ryella said "Hazeeeelll! TJ2 was walking!" She lived in a fantasy world, I put her lying ass out and went back to sleep. I got up to look in on Twalla, and saw him standing up, Trenton stood in front of him holding out his arms, he walked to his daddy and rolled his eyes at me. He was my most mysterious child, I asked the pediatrician why he hadn't crawled, he said he needed his toes to get on his knees and of course they were not normal. Also his feet being webbed helped him stand and keep his balance. Trenton had turned my baby into an amphibian with all that shit he fed me.

It seemed like he trusted me, he knew I cherished what we had and I was so in love with him I would literally die for that man, I didn't want to be pregnant but knew I was safe with him, even if he had known—-

"Where were u the night the cop was killed," he asked one day. I hadn't remembered and wanted to talk about something else. He changed the subject like he read my thoughts and ordered the hash browns smothered and capped with onions and mushrooms. I had the worst toothache and wanted to fight him. When we went home I had a nasty attitude, I wanted him to fight me! I needed his dominance. He wouldn't react to my aggression, "U are crazy as hell" he said before picking up a paring knife and apple. Did that nigga threaten me? I went to sleep, but heard the shower an hour later. I got up and got inside, again I hadn't been able to read his lips. I had been avoiding Trent sexually and he had refused to give in. I would turn on the vibrator and lock the bathroom door, he would just throw shit around the room. We were both petty. He stood with his arms up, hands on the shower wall the water beating on him from the shower head . I knelt and gave him some showerhead. He released unexpectedly.

I wondered what was on his mind at times, it would be adrift and I needed him to be the persistent and dominant man I met. He would not argue with me, and I didn't want to feel in control. I worried when he started avoiding calls. When we fucked he handled me delicately, I needed his pain. It seemed to drive me crazy, he had hurt them hadn't he! I laid on the Chaise naked, he gazed at my belly, it seemed to turn him on more than me masturbating had. I wanted to explode! The toys had no sympathy, "Troy" I mouthed without tone. I was so horny and I needed Trent so deep, the desire lacked passion. I was swollen with his child, and he had avoided me. His growl only enhanced the loud pounding in my skull, and his approach had been welcoming. Had I won his game?

I wanted him to sexually abuse me as Christy had said Lamont had during the height of his arousal. He couldn't just keep doing away with them! I should be punished, who had him angered?! He had not wanted me to be normal as he say he had! I could take them all away one by one as he could! He loved them, right! Would he punish me then?

He hadn't known about real sexual escapades had he? Or had Christy shown him too?! All I knew was pain, I needed it. The combination of his anger, arousal, and secrets could be so powerful, he would humble his pettiness. I laid writhing invitingly he now stood above my head, I felt his presence but refused to open my eyes. He just watched while he fondled himself, he mumbled, and yet growled but wouldn't attack. Why had I neglected Troy, there were no rules it seemed, why had he smelled like Christy's perfume that night! She had said in the text, "U didn't want me to have that nice package, shame on u. I guess neither of u were—-"

I could feel his movement and hear his breaths, "Troy would hurt me," I mouthed. I needed his aggression! I Laid there in heat, suddenly he said "Fuck..." and I felt hot cum dropping in my face. I wanted to kill him, I jumped up and fought him! I was so loud! I stood naked swinging at him and he restrained me warning me not to hurt the baby! I was beyond livid! Hadn't that nigga heard me! WHERE WAS TROY! I was crying so hard! And he would not hurt me! He just kept saying I was crazy, trying to hug my belly! I slapped at him, and swung. I heard the children now awake, Ryella's door was opening. Trenton picked me up and on the way to our bedroom Ryella looked at us trying to figure it all out, I had lotion on my face. "Get in the fucking shower," he said out of breath. "Oh, your sister is pregnant too."

WHAT! That muthafucka knew how to set me off! How did he know that, I turned around and flew into his ass again. I refused to let him make me crazy! He restrained me again, lifted me and carried me to the shower. He sat down fully clothed and held me in his lap. The water just poured down on us, I was crying but didn't know why. He just held me, and rubbed my belly. After a few moments he said, " I got my hands full, but I wouldn't have it any other way." I was so emotional all the way around, I needed to fight! Redd would have fought me! I would have healed a satisfied woman! Didn't he love me!

"U forgot your bonnet, your hair is wet." He said.

Slug after slug...

I remember calming down eventually, I was just so confused. I wanted to leave him and needed to breathe! He wouldn't have understood or allowed me to! His love was too overwhelming, his protection was deadly. I could feel his erection but why wouldn't he give me what I needed! Didn't he know I needed him, always, the child I carried caused me to be a nympho, he was afraid to touch me! I needed sex! I began to research how to decrease my sex drive, nothing worked. While I was looking for raisins one day at Kroger I felt someone watching me, she would not look away! I made eye contact but she just stared. I paid for my shit and headed home, but throwing up in the parking lot first. I was unfamiliar with the lanes and was in the turn lane, the disrespectful motorists disregarded my signal light until the nigga on the Yamaha let me over. I rolled the window down and said thank u. He revved and pulled between my car and the car in the next lane asking my name. When he said pull over I didn't recognize him but I pulled over anyways. He parked beside my car in the CVS parking lot and lifted the helmet. "Can I go?" He asked looking at my car seats. I wondered if he could tell I was pregnant. "Is that your bike?" I asked. "Yes I own three." He introduced himself as Victor but noticed my ring. "Are u faithful?" He asked.

Was I?

From what I could see he was in his mid thirties, I could only see his light brown eyes. He looked musty but smelled like aftershave. I looked at his small physique and thought to myself, I would ravish him, he didn't stand a chance. "Call me sometimes," he said, and asked for my phone. I handed it to him and he programmed his number. I knew I wouldn't call, I just hadn't wanted to be rude. He got back in traffic, we went our separate ways. I was so weak and I wanted sex so bad, I begged my husband. I enjoyed his mouth but he would not penetrate me! Was he stupid! I gave him an unknown ultimatum.

I kept calling Troy, his number was out of service. One night I sat on the sofa and saw something laying under the end table. It was my bonnet. How had it gotten there, I yelled for Ryella to come, she insisted she hadn't put it there or saw it on the floor. I looked at it for a long time before taking it to the trash can, it appeared to be the one I wore that night, maybe I hadn't left it after all.

The depression became so unbearable I wanted to die, nothing made me feel better. When Trenton said I should be hospitalized I agreed, that's how bad it was. I would not take the meds but I needed them. I feared what they would do to the child I carried. He could now get me out under the mental health act, he was my husband. He visited everyday, all day, one day he suddenly stopped coming.