Home****Chapter Fifty-Nine

I reasoned with being without my children and decided to see if what Trenton was saying had logic, nothing added up and I felt Mya knew more than she pretended. How could the police have come to the home looking for me? When I demanded further details she said Trenton hadn't even been home. Had they stayed until he arrived? She'd left the children behind and as she talked about that day I would get angrier and angrier, however the date somewhat coincided with my abandonment.

Trenton began to text Mya's phone but would not text mine, and as if I wasn't vexed he began to instruct me to do shit like take aptitude tests, he even sent a link to an Elon Musk program. He basically idolized the man, and said his numbers hadn't lied, neither had Jay-Z's. He said that the man was was a born genius, a true 7. 12/4/1969 was Sean Carter. I felt he was on to something because Elon Musk was a 7, I had researched some, but he was too mesmerized with their ability to use the mind as a means of power. He said the mind was so powerful, it could alter time and tell me numbers were immunity, they ruled the world.

Had he expected me to just stay put? This man was crazy as fuck. Was I supposed to trust him? The messages would pour in and when Mya left home she called and said check her email, there were programs and charts and for some reason he would avoid any personal questions I would ask like WHERE WERE MY CHILDREN!

He preferred to message about the fastest rapper in the world and his number 11 birthday. That man was crazy, and I began to believe he was trying to keep my attention directed elsewhere because I had so many questions. He promised to call me the next day at 2, stay with Mya he demanded. I would not obey him! He had crossed the line, how could he take my children and not give me an explanation but expect me to play his computer game. I was so spaced out I had taken the test without realizing it, soon he messaged back. "Needs improvement but yet excellent." I was convinced he contributed to my insanity. I loved him with all my heart, and I lived in suspense. I had so many questions and was adamant about finding him, I could play spy too. I carried his child and he had left me, I would have had a better understanding if he would have told me something! "Maybe no knowledge is good knowledge," Mya said high as fuck, I disregarded her high ass. I did not like the fact that he communicated with her. I didn't suspect them messing around but neither had I expected Christy to know my husband. I often wondered about her and felt like she may have been locked back up. I searched for her, no results. I just wanted to be at peace, I thought back to when Trent and I begun the relationship I was happy, he satisfied me.

When Mya's mother came home I was surprised to see we were a lot alike, she had been abused as a child and had gotten pregnant with Mya as a teen and left home. I wondered what she knew about my husband, she would only say he was a nice man and Mya had answered his ad for a babysitter. Also he paid good. She said I was welcomed to stay at her home but I was on a mission. I would soon be paid and I would find my children. I would likely demand a divorce from Trenton and move on with my life if I didn't kill the bastard!

I decided to walk one evening, I was in so much pain, I was experiencing the worst pregnancy, alone and I needed to breathe. As I walked a message came through my phone, I downloaded it after hesitating, I hadn't recognized the number. When I downloaded it it had been a picture of some bloody sweats and a pair of shoes beside a paper bag. I deleted it, figuring someone had the wrong number. It had somewhat disturbed my peaceful nature, the clothing appeared to be mine, so had the shoes. As my heart plummeted I surveyed my surroundings and headed back toward Mya's home. Who the fuck sent that picture?! No one had that number! I made it back to Mya's to find her mother under the hairdryer. She looked clueless but at that point everyone was suspect. I hadn't known where to go but I knew I couldn't stay and I was broke, Trenton wouldn't even text me on my own phone! Something was wrong! I became nervous and felt like I was being watched. Had they known I was at Mya's? Had she told them? I could trust NOBODY! I wondered if Trenton really had been protecting me, I thought back to the hospital and how he admitted me under a name totally different from what my record had said, that's why I was used as a guinea pig, them muthafuckas hadn't known what to give me! I was on a rampage and if I was going down it surely would not be without a fight! I could see my babies faces and I was so angry with God, why had He allowed this! Was I supposed to love my Mama and Daddy regardless to all the pain they inflicted on me? They had fucked me up! I knew they had and as much as I had tried to be normal I could not!

As if he knew I was planning to leave, an email came in, it was Trent. He wanted to talk but not from my phone. He had known Mya was not home. I was instructed to go to a public phone and call the number specified. I was so tired of the games and I had only known one public phone, miles away. I disregarded the message and continued to orchestrate my plan. I hadn't even had one but knew I could not stay. I had done so much I didn't know which angle they would come from. Why were they looking for me? If I had a warrant why hadn't Trent told me if he loved me? I know he knew! I kept on loving the wrong men! I had all those babies, they always branded me! Twan had branded me the most, I felt like Trenton had taken him away from me but didn't know why. I left Mya's home walking, and I was lost. I remembered the intersection where the TCBY was but hadn't known the area. I recollected the day I met Troy. Where was he? I just wanted to see his face to know he was fine, but my gut said otherwise. It had been my fault! I had not known who I had married, if I was married. I walked and searched for any info I could find on Trenton, the web rendered no results for him and only caucasian male had had that name. I remembered the procedure to get a birth certificate, and searched for a match for his name and date of birth 11/29/ 1982, I could only get limited information but seemed to had found articles from over 15 years ago, he had been questioned in the disappearance of LaTrena Myers. I was relieved but also saw all public information for him had been removed from the internet. Maybe I could trust him after all. I sat at TCBY for a moment and a car approached, when the window had rolled down on the dark sedan I hadn't expected to see a familiar face, but I did. Carmella was behind the wheel. "Girl, I've been looking all over for u! Get in." I was so happy to see her and as I stood up and walked toward her car I reached for the car door but saw something that made me change my mind, I immediately backed away and knew I could not trust anyone. Had a badge laid on her seat? Where did she work!? I told her I was waiting for someone, her look told me she knew I was lying, she asked who? I replied Trenton. She knew I lied but how? Bitch why u keep popping up as well?! She had taken care of my children!

I began to dial Trent's number, he was out of the service area. I needed to find him, he could not leave me in the dark! Was I being followed, if so for how long! I knew I needed money and knew where to get as much as I needed temporarily. I also needed a car. Carmella said her goodbyes, almost disappointed I hadn't gotten inside. I began to pray, I needed an angel. I knew I had done so much and I had been taught right from wrong---in public. My father was abusive but seemed to be an important public figure. They would probably still never suspect he fucked us all up. I yet called Trent's phone, no service area. I hadn't known what to do, I almost knew I was being watched. As it got dark I tried to remember how to get home, my feet were swollen and I was broke. I walked until the neighborhood looked familiar and at 1 am, I found my home. If I was being followed they would find me where I left my heart at. I went inside, the door was in fact unlocked. My screams echoed off of the empty walls, I laid inside the home on the floor, I prayed there was at least one gun inside of the secret closet. I was ready to end it, why would I bring another child into the world, Trenton knew what was going on, he had to. I got up from the floor and walked to the closet, it too was unlocked but empty. I could not see how he had taken everything overnight. I felt the top shelf for anything to harm myself with, and felt the keyring. After stretching beyond dexterity I was able to pull the set of keys down and realized I had the key Twan had given me. I studied them all, the key he had given me was identical to the shed key. The code Twan demanded I used I could not forget. What was its relevance, it wasn't special. It hadn't opened the safe, what was it for? I knew it had to have something to do with the orchard, and wondered how he had even gotten that key! If Twan and Trent hadn't seen eye to eye since teens how did Twan have that key? Why did Tobias want it? I needed to talk to him, I knew exactly where to find him. I closed the closet and fell asleep on the floor. I had taken cheese crackers from Mya's home I ate them and talked to God. When daylight poured through blinds I had been asleep for a while, I went to the guest bedroom, perhaps to reminisce and found pajama's in the closet. Trent had a fetish but how had he forgotten them? I found it awkward the utilities were yet on, was he going to return? I tried to recollect all he had said, but knew he couldn't possibly be planning to stay there with me. Maybe I was tripping, but who were the guys dressed in black suits and ski masks that had come to the home? His coworkers? I decided to call Mya, I needed descriptions. I asked if she had ever heard the name Breakdance. She said yes, that was what the guy who had come inside first said, "Breakdance, come on out, I know u here." They threatened her and told her if she didn't tell them where I was they would lock her up. After she convinced them she really didn't know they demanded her to leave and she called Trent, he rushed home. Had he gotten jammed up trying to protect me?