Safe **** Chapter Fifty-Eight

With $3.40 I left the motel and walked toward an airport, I had no idea how I would even make it, I was so weak, and had begun to have involuntary muscle spasms. I hated myself. Twan would kill me about his babies, but why would I think Trenton would ever cause them harm, he was their uncle! I was so sleepy I needed a nap, I'd sat on the stairs clueless but hadn't even wanted to see anyone I had recently encountered, that area was too small and I was paranoid. Security had said I was loitering and had to leave.

While I was inside the buffet at the casino apparently a lady who had just called for a ride had answered Trent's call and I hadn't known he'd called back before I answered the phone, but she called me by name as I walked out. I defensively asked he how the fuck she knew me. She said she gave the caller the description of the last person who had used the phone and he asked was my name Hazel.

I didn't know how far I was from Kerri's apartment but I had to find her, I had no one else. I was so angry and could not figure out why God had allowed so much bad happen to me. Instantly I remembered what Redd would tell me, "Never let anyone see u with your head down." I missed his friendship, we would talk about anything. Somehow we became distant and he spent more time with Terrell, I couldn't remember but I saw his face, he was saying he had a family in the last dream of him. Redd wanted me to tell them my role, what was my role? He started using cocaine like he missed that nigga! Why did he let somebody come between us? I had fucked that nigga good, he just had other preferences, both of them. What had Redd owed him? Had Trenton known Terrell?

The hunger pangs would not let up and my children had all suffered because of me, all of the emotions came at once. I walked, I cried, I prayed in broad daylight! What did God want from me? I had to ask because I was not able to carry on. I had to give up and just be numb. How had I been plotted against and deprived of my right to be human? I did not believe a word Trenton had to say, there was no explanation for him taking my babies! I would kill him without remorse. Had they wanted him more than me? I would make sure they paid as well. I found a bus stop and sat, the bus came and went each time making sure I was not getting on. I could ride but where would I go? Hadn't Daddy moved? I saw a lawyer on a billboard and decided to contact the firm that handled TJ2's birth defect case. I held on until someone answered and took my name. "Yes, the GlaxoSmithKline settlement" Joya said, "We mailed out a portion of the settlement last month on the 25th, did u move?" I only had 3 percent on the cheap android and I tried to talk fast, "Come again?" "Trenton Jerome Myers Jr.'s case?" I still had the mail I got from the mailbox and had only looked at the bills. I dug inside of the clear trash bag I'd taken from the motel through the stack of mail and an envelope from Reuben Branch and Associates was among the pieces, it had been opened. I removed the contents to find a check for $83,000. "This was only a portion that was mailed—", Why the fuck was it opened? It had been post dated before the rest of the mail! The phone rested on the bench as I studied the check in amazement. I needed Kerri I had no other way to get an ID. The temperature was dropping and I was becoming afraid, especially with the check in my possession, I needed a plan and quick. I remember falling asleep and someone saying "U can't sleep out here, somebody gone—— oh, u expecting? What u doing out here? Where ya husband?" I looked at my ring and hid my hand. A man was digging for aluminum cans in the barrel at the bus stop, I knew I had to move around, the buses had stopped. I asked about a store, he pointed me in the direction I had walked from. I was so thirsty and hungry but after seeing the check my concern had been completing my mission to find Trent. I walked until I came to a Triple J, the area was more rowdier than where I had come from, I went inside and walked to the cooler. I needed water so bad and food but I had to settle for the water, I was too weak to steal. I paid and when I came outside I hadn't known which direction to go, but I walked toward a liquor store. I recognized the area somewhat, I had lived there as a child. Memories surfaced and my hate for Trent was certain, I didn't want to relive any of that shit! I kept walking and when I made it in front of a pawn shop I stopped to rest, my feet were swelling by the minute. I was alone and the pills were wearing off finally, I could focus more. I could tell when they were out of my system the voices screamed at me. I needed to take off the shoes they were so tight, I knew I could not make it to where ever the fuck "nowhere" was. I found another bench and sat down, this time at a busy intersection. I took out my phone right when it powered down, it made me nauseous, I could have thrown up in my lap, what was next?! I could not charge it at a damn bus stop! When I heard someone say "Miss Hazel", I was completely dumbfounded. I recognized the Lincoln at the light it was Vernon, Mya's boyfriend. He opened his door and got out, "I'm finna call Mya! Why u on the corner?" The horns blew and he cursed at the mad drivers while grabbing my bag telling me to get in his car. I had never been that happy to see a nigga before in my life. I knew Mya could tell me something. As he spoke to her I reached for his phone, "Why did Trenton move Mya!?" I asked aggressively, she stuttered before saying she didn't know but a lot of police had come to the home, and told her to leave and had asked her did she know me, but by another last name. She said she left walking and went back the next evening and the home was empty but the door was unlocked. It made sense men didn't lock doors but that was when coming inside I thought, not when leaving for good. I asked Mya would it be ok to come to her house for the night, she insisted, saying her mama was in Vegas and Vernon was planning on coming anyways. He asked was I hungry after ending the call, I told him don't call me Miss Hazel ever again and I was starving. I was beginning to look at shit a little different and as I had felt once while hospitalized, Trenton was in danger some kind of way. I was willing to bet Brown was involved. He had mentioned protecting me though. I hadn't known who was after him or what it was about but I was war ready.

We made it to Mya's mama's house and when I got inside she offered to comb my hair and gave me a surprise, one of my baby's pacifiers, she left with it in her hand. I cried, I was so confused. Vernon brought in the Chinese food, and Mya told me to make myself at home. She said I could sleep in her mother's bed and said she wouldn't mind. I appreciated them, my heart could not handle another emotion. I needed more of the puzzle and would go see if the door was unlocked still as Mya said it was. The smell filled the air as they sprayed and smoked, I thanked Mya again and asked for the shower. All kind of thoughts occurred, why the fuck was the kitchen decorated in apples? I showered and charged my phone. The thought crossed my mind to use Mya's phone, I asked for it and dialed Trent's number, it said he was out of the service area. Where would he be when I would get that message?! Fuck! I realized how much I needed him but didn't know if I could trust him. If I knew nothing else, I knew he loved the children. He hadn't said it, I saw it. I wanted my man and family, he had healed me, but he was the disease and the cure. I dialed the number again, he answered surprisingly. I didn't say anything and hearing his voice suddenly crippled my intentions, I loved that man so much! He could tell me anything and he knew it! Why was he so secretive? How would he have to protect me? From what?! I refused to let him keep me oblivious. After I didn't say anything I hung up. When he called back I answered "hello", he hesitated and then began to speak, "Mya?" I said nothing, she was the babysitter but if he had a new phone why had her number been programmed in it? Or had he just changed his number and had the same contacts? I decided to speak, "Where are u?" I asked, I was so choked up but he knew who I was. "Baby?" Yes muthafucka! "WHERE ARE U TRENTON?!" I could not hear the children, it was quiet only a television. "I am on my way to Alexandria, I better not have to look for u, I want my children u can't just take—-!"

I was so fed up at that point I would have rather died and taken them with me! They were all I had! Were they against me? "Alexandria? Baby u are—ok, just calm down, where's Mya?"

"WHYYY!" That son of a bitch was avoiding my questions! "I will kill u Trenton, I'm not playing! I need my babies!"

"I'm not trying to—— who told u that, about Alexandria! There's a lot I have to tell u! U have to be careful who u talk to, I just need u to calm down, we can't—-."

"U took my babies u bastard! Where are u! Please can I see them!"

I realized I was screaming when Mya and her boyfriend came in the room I was laying in a fetal position begging him for my world back! He kept saying I was sick and just lay low, he couldn't see me, he was protecting me and the kids. He said he loved me, I had no understanding this wasn't love! I couldn't live like that! He didn't even have a good explanation, he couldn't even tell me why he left after getting rid of me! "Who the fuck is Jennifer?!"

He giggled, "U didn't eat the yogurt?" Apparently he thought I was something to play with, why had he pursued me as he had! I had to ask again where he first saw me! He had said the park but that was before I knew he was a cop, he hadn't wanted me to know. Why had he even said the park, I didn't go to parks! "I'll see u soon and explain everything, but not with the kids. It's not safe. I love u."

Nigga fuck u!

I was pissed the fuck off and my baby felt every bit. As he talked I hung up, I was about to show him safe! I knew where it was...

I waited for the next morning and asked Mya to borrow money for ID, I had to deposit my check in a new account but in 10 days I would find him and he would talk, I would make sure of it.