Tyranny **** Chapter One Hundred Thirty

Disconsolate, I laid on the thin mattress beside the case files in tears in the suicide cell. The voices were becoming louder amalgamated with the ones that travelled from other inmates in the day room. Yet and still I was set aside.

Pam had used the term transcendental...I somewhat knew what it meant and it had frightened me to the point of research while laying down in the motel bed before the arrest. Again they had come, this time I was alone and hadn't been confused.

"We know u have dealings with Martin Poindexter," the special agent had said.

I hadn't really responded to much he'd said but was broken, he could see it across my face and I didn't confirm or deny his claims. The dietician had come in after I was returned to the cell and inquired about my untouched trays, "U haven't eaten since u were booked in, only the apple sauce---"

I sat up on the thin mattress, the backs of my thighs pressed against the edge of the metal bunk, and picked up the letter Martin had written; I yet had no remorse for what I'd done to his home but wondered how he'd known I still had the book and it hadn't been destroyed in the fire. He'd informed me Kerri had returned home but I hadn't seen her since the arrest.

"Your sister could not become reconciled to her ...province, needless to say the child's demise was subsequently imperative."

Martin had mentioned Ayden's death so indiscriminately, was it some sort of confession? He'd chosen his words wisely as always.

Something had settled in my bones inside of the cold cell as I remembered the pictures of Nikki they'd slammed down in front of me to surveil my reactions to seeing her face, "Girl has several kids ya know, bet they're just waitin for that auntie of her's door to open and see they mama standing there, what u know bout this?"

Simple, Trenton killed her. I would show him I, Hazel Givens, was not the bitch he wanted to betray.

"I've had the benefit of not being able to commiserate, but I could only imagine how it would feel to precipitate a siblings departure."

I pictured his long fiddle playing fingers as he held an ink dipped feather pen and simpered, I should have killed him as I'd intended to.

I hadn't expected a visitor or hadn't even known if it was real but I remembered He'd visited and I'd sobbed as if my own father had come; he was privileged, I hadn't even felt ashamed of my nakedness but my appearance and as I tried to close the paper gowns to cover my body he said "Naked we've all arrived."

Somehow he'd known all my truths. Even the ones I alone couldn't remember...guilty I was but he'd come and I determined I had a friend even though we'd only spoken once.

He'd convinced me there was a way out and mentioned the files.

Martin's files?

I'd become extremely lethargic but kept revisiting the day Redd had left his phone, I would go insane in an attempt to figure it all out? Had Redd gotten too old for him?

There'd been moments inside of the cold cell I would look up at the camera in the corner and anticipate seeing their faces afterward, finally they decided I needed to be in Seg 6.

I read part of Martin's files, he'd ordered the hit on Carmella Long and requested her head be delivered to him on a platter, the mockery had become poignant. Was she about to take him down with Twan's help? The night I'd left the home with Ryella when Twan had found out about Christy killing Tawanna, why had he called her? What connection did Martin have in Texas I wondered, why was she even there?

I explained them all to Procell justifiably, each one in full detail---he'd had time to listen, I knew he was of great importance...and he'd traveled from New Orleans to see me, I was indebted. We talked I cried, he consoled me and convinced me each time that my actions had indeed been justifiable. I fought to stay awake during the visit, the heavy cloud had returned and I was hungrier than ever. Hadn't he promised to help me?

Had Troy not known who Carmella was? Did he not know he was incriminating himself? I'd wondered about the missing sword, the Roman Gladiators in Veronica's home had only held two. Anxiously I waited to expose them all and after looking at Martin's file I concluded it would be mandatory if I wanted to free Troy. Martin's request had been carefully considered, I knew the law now but my child's father had needed me more, hadn't he?

Again, why had Martin chosen me?

I felt I would soon lose sight in my eye, the infection had returned, but before me sat Procell, I could see him clearly. His beauty hadn't made him desirable but revered, the pale skin that outlined his fingernails looked as if he'd never touched anything's surface, which made him seem pure and as if he hadn't sat inside the nurse had come in and administered the pills before checking my vitals. I awaited Seg 6.

Martin wasn't the devil as many had believed but I hadn't doubted he knew him personally, he'd only mastered the devil's role and become something more treacherous.

I listened to the visitor carefully. He'd asked what would I name the child, for some reason Venus had come to mind, "Powerful name," he'd said disregarding how feminine it sounded. The name had been mentioned in Martin's book.

My body ached as I shifted my position. I was bigger than I had ever been during any pregnancy, and my condition was becoming unbearable. As I spoke I saw the nurse and guard standing at the small window, they'd seemed confused. Had they not allowed the visitor? I continued the conversation. Why had he seemed so dedicated? I'd asked about a bond and hadn't had one, the judge denied bail and the only person who could call any shots was incarcerated I thought.

I'd sat in prison almost 4 years, Mike had convinced me I could stay there for 40, but this time was different. I was willing to do anything to be freed. Hadn't I been careful though, I wasn't an amateur killer!

"Read the files," Procell instructed. Against my own desire I picked up the stack of papers and removed the paper clip that held them together. I read.

I remembered Troy's words and knew it was true, Martin couldn't harm me if he was locked up.

"Martin is firm and resolute u can handle the matter, I've spoken with him and he's informed me of your expertise."

Inside the yellow envelope were also credentials for the American Bar Association that had the name Hazel Myers on the front. I hadn't known what Maritin's aim was but I wanted no involvement. He hadn't done anything for me, I didn't owe him shit! I'd become enlightened but had no intentions on helping him at all!

I continued to plead my case, it would be conflict of interest to represent them both, also how could I defend either while behind bars. I'd asked Procell why Martin had even thought it was doable and declined. I'd destroyed his home and knew he sought revenge, it was a setup. Also what would make me suitable, I was ill--- and inside the knives were deep, I needed consoling tremendously. Procell had spake of his own mother Rose and how she'd endured adversity but was greatly rewarded in the end. The Haitian had given her hope and said she would bring forth a son, she'd been uprooted from her island but had brought knowledge to the land.

Rose had given birth and despite his appearance she'd loved him unlike the rest before her and hadn't wanted to hide her son from the world but had only done so because she'd been warned, to her his lack of pigmentation was beautiful and she considered him set aside as the Angel had expressed the night she conceived. He recalled blindly sucking from her breasts after birth.

I was fucking confused.

The medication they'd given me was taking effect but I was aware even though I knew Mike would soon return dominantly as he always would while on the pills. I considered Seg 6 again, this time no Killa on the toilet phone, I was sure he was gone and remembered his demonic appearance----even back then.

The Holy Bible laid in the corner on the floor, I'd last remembered it being on the bunk. As the words bellboy, hotel, belly and lobby all ascended from the text an eerie feeling consumed me while Procell spoke, but I listened. Rosetta had come to the plantation, she'd wandered from the thicket. The master's wife had taken her in and thought she was suitable to work inside of the Big House. Master Poindexter agreed, she was beautiful to behold but soon she was sent to the field at the mistress' request, she'd become enticing and could sense Master's intent.

How had he been found in the drawer I wondered. Maybe my timeline was off.

"Your mother had become fruitless and as a tree that cannot bear fruit it shall be cut down."

He looked toward The Bible and nodded before palming the front of his hat. I continued to shift on the bed seeking comfort, I would DIE in that place and knew my soul wasn't worth saving. I had riches but what good were they now?

Surely Trenton would find a way---

I continued to look at the contents that came inside of the envelope addressed to me, but Procell mentioned my grandmother Hazel.

Where did he live? I'd asked, he only disregarded and said "Perhaps her prayers hadn't gone unanswered, shant the meek inherit the Earth and the riches thereof?"

I couldn't save Martin, I told Procell and asked was it a hoax! He'd only replied and said I was highly indebted to him and then he'd mentioned Martin's son who could not be found. Had he not known about the bodies Denard had mentioned, wasn't he among them, hadn't I done a good deed? I wondered if Nathaniel was angry, had I betrayed a friend?

I'd known my fingerprints had come back on another murder weapon, perhaps it was the sword but I hadn't been implicated as being a suspect. Also the plastic found around Eileen's head---I could explain. The case in Texas? I hadn't been surprised to see Dallas County police, I'd been charged but why hadn't they taken me out of Louisiana? I could explain them all---they were justifiable and I could lead them to Nikki's body, where Trenton had left it after he'd killed her.

I was becoming overwhelmed, I grabbed my chest, it was becoming too hard to breathe. At once reality had set in. I stood, paced across the floor and pleaded my case! Why were the guards supervising the visit!? I argued loudly, all of the murders were justifiable!

The doctor's diagnosis would be considered he said, it's all documented, same characteristics of any serial killer—-disturbance in the frontal lobe, how have u even been allowed to be in society this long!?

Elite and both floated upward.

How had Procell known? I mean in detail he described each one but wasn't he pleased? He'd seemed pleased alright.

This time he'd come in a red tuxedo, I was gratified to see he'd worn the finest---what had they to say now? I was somebody this time---and his visit had almost seemed conjugal. Surely he'd come as soon as he'd heard.

Beautiful he sat with his legs crossed, pink outlined his lips---he had to take me with him, I would die if he didn't. What about my children? DId he just pretend to have my best interest at heart? I considered being deceived by him, but what was he to gain? Was it to give me false hope?

Gripping sanity was becoming more difficult, slowly it was slipping away. When I'd mentioned how I could be forgiven Procell's face had become distorted, and as Martin had said at the start of the letter nothing in this world was free. While I pondered Procell seemed anachronistic, even the lacing of the Dolce and Gabbana Brogue patent leather shoes he'd worn seemed obsolete---the under knot technique he'd designated, I hadn't seen often; the consecutive bars aligned the top of the shoe and resulted in the knot being underneath---I'd even concluded he was left handed...

Also the pocket watch---a Brailiard Lang, assuredly it hadn't been inherited, it's vintage mechanism was designed in the early 1800's.

As I studied his physique he looked as though he'd excluded meat from his diet and remembered the roasted pig at the banquet. I asked, "Why had u come for me?"

Meticulously I harked back to the positioning of his brim, it had casted a shadow and darkened half of his face, again he'd chosen plaid socks.

"Verily, I articulate coherently----the veracity that has been banished is concupiscible, hath not thou perused with consciousness of the inimical---hath not thou discerned the ethical from the unjust and yet sought after the iniquitous? Elsewhither wouldst thou consider the book?"

He nodded toward the Bible that laid in the corner of the paint chipped cell.

"Paradoxically, u have acquired their knowledge as well---need not I seem disdained, u have yet espoused that which was pleasing amidst they that govern and concur, with fervour she'd come and had he not promised beforehand? Like the Lion, the paladin of proficiency granteth expertise and altruism has intervened. Thus astute but yet lacking practicality as the infecundant; what good is a barren tree? Doth not it inhabit the garden needlessly? To replenish the root nourishment is needed. I'd seen them all come---one by one, many, their eyes had been gouged, as a lad I often wondered if they'd preferred the dark, hadn't I? The forage for affluence engendered the encounter I must add, to pursue what is ineluctable would only utilize rhythm, particularly for the paltry."

I'd begun to feel like he was wasting my time, could he help me or not? In an attempt to maintain my composure out of mannerism for the wealthy elite who had clearly overcome his bout with being abandoned I asked couldn't he relate to being neglected!

During headcount the female guard had looked inside the cell as I stood before the middle aged man, with probity I contradicted his discourse and was becoming disconcerted. If he hadn't sided with me, why had he fucking come?

"I can't promise u a quick and speedy trial Ms. Givens, they are still waiting for new evidence and are comparing unsolved murders to ones u have confessed to committing, please bear with me, I have tons of other cases," the court appointed attorney had said, "Hopefully we can get things underway before spring of 2021, the FBI has to give permission to proceed with the juvenile cases...u know u were only 14 when u killed that poor girl, parents had just moved into the neighborhood---Daddy had just got on at Libby, they were looking for a man the whole time. Inhumane doesn't describe---"

I'd asked what girl?

He looked disgusted before saying I couldn't deny it as my mother had years ago---the hospital couldn't save me this time.

Procell sat as if he hadn't planned to depart, I imagined my sorrow upon his departure. My infatuation of him had become lethal, I'd implored his come across until he'd arrived and had known he could help.

One after another the 8 x 10 enlarged photographs lined the interrogation table, I'd been given a trashcan and resorted to puking after seeing every close up but hadn't said a word. I would not build a case against myself and was no peon, what the fuck had they known? I couldn't see myself receiving the death penalty as he said I would. Inadvertently I'd answered all of their questions truthfully during booking and had still landed in the cell! After headcount I heard a familiar voice, "Open lockdown cell 2!"

The guard stood before me with a jumpsuit and shackles, "U have to wear these," she'd said.

Unreserved I undressed before them both and inquired of my destination---"Seg 6" Shonda replied as she had before.

"What about my visitor," I'd asked.

"They fucked u up good Givens---"

I struggled to snap the orange uniform, after unsuccessfully fastening it I picked up the large yellow envelope scattering the case file over the cell floor. I'd dropped to my knees and as Shonda bent down I'd whispered to her. The speaker had come on, "Is everything OK in Lockdown cell 2?"

I couldn't leave yet, why did Procell still sit? As she forced me to the wheelchair that was on the other side of the door I yelled at him, he'd better do something! Why had he even come! I agreed to do whatever I had to do, Troy needed me!

Martin had disclosed in the letter Kerri had taken her own son's life, she'd called him after she'd broken his neck because he appeared as something otherworldly. Kie had gone back to her roots and told her to bury him under the trees for his soul to return.

I knew what Shonda wanted and dared the bitch to get out of line, I would expose her---wouldn't take much. I needed it all destroyed.

As if she'd been summoned, she'd come. To them all it looked as if she'd only been sent.

"Close lockdown cell 2!" She yelled after gathering the papers from the floor and laying them in my lap."

I looked in the faces of many, Davinda nodded, I could now see her demon but could she see mine?

I didn't know what Martin had anticipated but I kept a ram in the bush.

"The death penal---no court in America will be in favor of the death penalty detective! Ms. Givens is clinically insane, I'm not even sure how she was capable of even committing the crimes brought against her!"

I had in fact lacked better judgement and would allow them to argue among themselves on my behalf, I felt important. Also in court they would see how much my daughter had grown.

I wondered how Procell had come, had he driven---I imagined his opulent car and his choice of instrument that bellowed from its speakers. I was willing, I hoped he'd heard.

Seg 6 was as I had remembered, after she'd gone I sat on the bunk, she'd given me the papers but not the Bible, I was forced to read the files. Soon I'd come across Percy Givens murder transcript. Makil Griffin's statement was highlighted, he'd killed him at Martin's order and thrown him in the river. I read it over and over, it wasn't true I told myself, the murder weapon recovered had come back belonging to Jovon Maxwell, still it had to be a mistake! He had not killed my father!

I went back to Martin's letter, everytime I would get disgusted I stopped reading to throw up, but this time I would continue.

"He couldn't replace your father by giving u a son---the absurdity is belittling, and to think Cliff considered the pillock belonged to me. His accusations aroused my intrigue, how had he thought I would indulge in what he couldn't even stomach--- the gait of a thoroughbred horse never could toot my horn, nor had I been forgotten. With all she'd given him, he still wanted more."

I could hear his demeaning laugh and pictured his beard grown out and natted across the scar underneath his neck.

In disbelief I continued to read.

"When I became a man, I put away childish things. Couldn't say the same for my brother, but my mother praised him. What if she only had one I considered? Hath not Cain caused the bloodshed of his brother Abel?"

Had Troy really killed my father? Trenton had his gun, what hadn't made sense was he had to have known it was jammed but how had he gotten it?

"He-he showed me a picture of his daughter and begged for me to---he begged to live, but I had to, I would---he would kill me, MP would have killed me and said my debt hadn't been paid. Preacher said he, I mean, his grandson saw demons and killed himself, I sympathized man, yall dont understand." The transcript read word for word.

My heart was becoming heavy, with grief anger and revenge, the swaying of my body told me to remain seated, I considered the hard concrete floor that had spared me but with consequence. I remembered them bringing me back but---wasn't there the light at the end of the tunnel? Both times had been surreal, but hadn't I begged to return, hadn't I changed my mind and awakened with the 5 inch scar?

A new year was approaching, I'd made a resolution and prayed to whoever answered my prayers to be free, I would do anything---the looks, they all had seen the news segment that had painted me to be a monster! Why would God save me?

I began to scream, I stood and beat against the door, I COULD NOT LIVE IN SEG 6! I NEEDED TROY, I LOVED HIM---I WAS SORRY! My child deserved his father and---power was all I needed, it had been that way for years, the rich could get away with the murders not because of the money but because of the power! The knowledge, I had been taken out of my habitat but had learned to survive! I was too powerful to rot in Seg 6!

"WHAT THE FUCK DO U WANT!" I screamed as I beat against the door, they had to get me out! It couldn't all be true, what had I done? Would they not be satisfied until I was dead and gone, who would remember me? Who would love my babies? They were all fatherless except for the child I carried, I had to free him, he was sorry---I knew he was, was that why he had pushed me away? I beat on the door until the skin peeled from my knuckles and bled, I was sorry! I could fix it all! Confess----that's it, maybe if I confessed again as I had in the shed... the shed---the shed? That's it! I knew it had answers and would send them there.

"SHONDAAAA!" I yelled! BITCH U BETTA DO SOME----!"

What the fuck Hazel, play it cool---she will help, she better help!

The voices in my head all laughed, Trenton, I wondered if he'd loved me, was I an experiment to him? He'd believed hadn't he? He loved me, I knew he once had and what about still---had he seen this coming? I hadn't divorced that muthafucka, how had he thought he would get the land? He wouldn't let it slip away that easy, he praised the trees! Martin had destroyed them as youths---I'd heard Pam's account, but I needed to know more.

I had an explanation now, I was ready to explain it all to them, I needed to explain!

"Proceeeell!"

Someone needed to help me!

I slid to the floor---the ache from hunger was taking me out, I needed food. The grapes, I could no longer get the grapes for my child!

"OPEN THE DAMN DOORS, PLEASE!"

I hadn't asked to be born, why was life so fucking unfair? I hated it, I HATED LIFE!

Troy was all I'd had, he'd left me! I would free him, it wasn't too late I would confess!

"I KILLED TRENTON MYERS! ALSO PERCY GIVENS!"

I needed a sign, I looked for words, hadn't they guided me through life? I searched, and found the Inmate Handbook laying on the iron table screwed into the wall, the words abominated and banknote floated from the makeup of letters across the front. I'd reached at my hair but had none to grab, my screams were deafening inside my own ears but they still hadn't come. Becoming dizzy, I tried to get a grip, the ache just wouldn't subside, but the lump inside my throat hadn't prevented me from swallowing my pride! Nothing could keep me away from Troy, nothing they could tell me would turn me against him! By now I was too far gone, I fell to my knees on the concrete floor and prayed to whoever listened.

Exhausted I'd fallen asleep on the naked mattress, but when I opened my eyes reality set in again and the ache returned. A sign, I searched---Intombed and damnation floated from the words on the book. Were the words also against me now!?

"SHONDAAAAAA! BITCH!"

The pain in my belly was frightening, I felt I would deliver and decided to stay calm. I knew I needed to eat but the tray had sat on the floor for hours, besides there was no fruit, my son only wanted fruit and hadn't wanted me to even taste it at all!

Intake, obtained and hoodie floated.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME I wondered becoming even more frightened! Those were not signs! Those were fucking threats and I refused to be threatened!

"GUAAARRRRD! SHONDAAAA!"

WHY THE FUCK WERE THE WORDS PLAYING WITH ME!? DIDN'T THEY KNOW!

"TROOOOYYYY! U BETTER TELL THESE MUTHAFUCKING WORDS I AINT NOTHING TO---!"

Baited Demon it mocked.

I had had enough! Fuck the fuckin---the fuckin handbook just hadn't known when to quit! I'd snatched it up and asked what the fuck was I supposed to do?! I wanted to see my babies, I'd known---but my babies!

Hide it said.

Had I committed adultery? Maybe so but he wouldn't give me what I needed! I hadn't initiated it had I and how had he even found out?

Bonnet the book said.

Was I losing my mind?

"SHONDAAAAA!! I HAAATE U! THEY SHOULD HAVE KILLED U BITCH!"

I needed to get out!

Abide...

WHAT!?

Face to face I argued with the book, I couldn't let a stack of folded together papers win!

I was Hazel muthafuckin Myers! They'd better ask about ME!

Hitman it taunted.

I slammed the book facedown, and called out to Mike, I knew the son of a bitch wasn't far, slid to the floor and sat against the wall. The sweat had beaded across my forehead inside the cold cell. Reality set in at once, I had fucked up---even the words had known. It was true, and my mother had gotten up with evil spirits and passed them along, my demise was predestined before my arrival.

I leaned back against the wall and stared lifelessly as the voices pacified me, I had no more fight. My swollen feet looked as if they would explode. After the anger came the endless tears but when they had come inside of the cell with the Chaplain to tell me of Kerri's death I became numb.

Shonda hadn't come, maybe she had New Years Eve off, but why hadn't she told me? Hadn't she felt it was vital to our relationship for me to fucking know!?

"Would u care to pray?" The chaplain asked.

"Is it my choice to who? My sister, my choice," I said as he trembled and backed away.

"I must carry on with my appointed duties, Lord have mercy."

He'd gone out before the guard holding the rosary around his neck. I could hear the echo of my own laugh bouncing off of the walls at the end of the hall. The guard kicked the old tray into the hall "Close Seg 6!"

The transcript was now out of order and I couldn't seem to get the pages back in place. I would die, I was out of chances. If Procell couldn't help why had he come? The anger welled inside of my gut, I had apples to sell!

I hadn't felt disconnected from Kerri at all nor had I known if it was whether or not I'd lacked empathy as I had with the rest. The vows poured from my mouth suddenly, I was willing and was determined to be free before midnight. I called on them all mentioned in the book---Marbas, he'd given me knowledge. Diablo, Belial, Asmodeus, Murmur who governed the orchard I promised him souls. Procell, I'd learned he spake in dark and mysterious ways but why had they named the child found in the drawer for him, hadn't he also been casted out onto Earth? Surely they had not known and hadn't owned Bibles---and finally Lucifer, I called on all seven kings of Hell. Daddy had not known all of their names.

I'd become distraught but was now content, I'd gathered each of the 245 pages of the transcript and placed them all in chronological order, my faith had become manifest and when the door opened for me to be released I stood with the envelope in my arm. I refused to allow mankind to determine my fate.

As I sat waiting to be released I wondered about the car but moreover the book. I'd received my property, dressed into the monogrammed robe with Carlita's initials and turned on my phone while exiting the prison.

I pinged my location, Forum Drive it read.

As the messages poured in I read them briefly, disregarding them all in my mind until I'd seen Denard's message---"In grief, Martin has hanged himself while in prison, I am sorry to burden u with the news of his death, please set aside a time to call, u too were included in his will."

I'd taken note of his words but couldn't come to terms with Martin being gone, also I knew demons didn't die, they only found new hosts.

THE END OF PART ONE

Cipher Part Two Sneak Peak

It was 3:26 a.m. and my sons were asleep inside of the truck, all except for Ciaran who's eyes were fixated on me as I spoke to the detective. I'd awakened the three in the backseat and instructed them to climb out while looking at the symbols on the back of the passenger seat which surpassed the scribbling from any toddler I'd ever seen, they were figures from The Book. I negotiated with my sanity and even compared the ink from the pen after I'd disarmed the home and led them to their rooms.

The bright red light from the microwave displayed 3:30 as I turned away from the alarm keypad.

Leaving Ciaran's carseat inside the truck I'd taken him out and laid him on a blanket that I'd spread on the floor and gone back outside but found a note that had blown from the door in the March wind laying on the grass. Why had Denard Pyle shown up? I began to feel uneasy, and knew I could not stay at the home.

Memories of Sharon played in my mind as a black and white reel would, I saw us both but could not picture my face while the smell of liquor invaded my nose as if she was near. Mother.

I would have her cremated; her ashes strewn---I decided.