Chapter Sixteen

I was brought to a small, windowless room. There was a bed and a giant door that seemed to be made of steel.

"So this is going to be where you stay until we get what we want from you. Few things before I leave. As you can see, there are no windows, so no escaping that way. Also, that bed is nailed to the ground, so no using the bedposts as a weapon. The door is locked at all times, and even if you happened to open it there are at least ten guards outside your room. If you didn't get the insinuation there is no escape, so I would recommend co-operating."

I rolled my eyes, "Where is Cade?"

Alistair's face dropped, but he ignored my question, "Also, the ceiling tiles are stuck shut, so there is no way to hang yourself from the ceiling."

I bit my tongue and glared at Alistair solemnly. Regret flashed through his eyes before he shook his head and left the room.

I sighed and flopped onto the bed. I grunted as my knees made contact with the metal bar in the middle of the bed. I swallowed slowly but refused to make any more of the injury than that. They weren't getting any satisfaction from me.

I flipped to a sitting position on the bed and let my mind wander. I thought of Nova and my parents. My eyes watered but I refused to let the tears fall. Everything just seemed like it was for nothing now. I fought my whole life for nothing. Everybody I had ever loved was either stabbed me in the back or was taken from me. Everything seemed so wrong. Why me? I was so done with all of these feelings. I banged my head against the back of the bed. The pain brought some relief.

Maybe it was me. Maybe I was the common denominator. Everything that went wrong had me involved. I got Nova killed. I got my parents killed. I got Bobby killed. It was all me. Maybe, if I did something about it nobody else would die. Maybe if I surrender myself they'd let Cade go. I cared about him too much to let him die too.

I tried and tried to convince myself that I was worth it. That I didn't need to surrender myself, but deep down I knew it wasn't true. There was always this voice telling me that this was the only answer.

I wasn't sad though. I guess I had known this was going to happen. I had already made peace with my decision. If I could save one person I loved, I sure as hell was going to do it.

I rubbed my hand over my face and hauled myself up into a standing position. I walked over to the door. I banged on the door as hard as I could with the side of my fist. Soon enough a tall female guard stood before me.

"Get Alistair. I wish to make a deal with him."

She nodded and walked out of the room. I heard all of the locks click and I flopped back down on the bed. I propped my arm behind my head and waited.

Not long after, I heard the clicks of the locks. I stood up and looked Alistair in the eyes.

"I surrender."

Alistair's eyes widened, "Already I at least thought-"

"If you let Cade go," I said cutting him off.

Alistair looked up in consideration. It was better than his answer being immediately no though. I could tell he already knew what the answer was as he pulled out something from his pocket. It was a small black crescent-shaped thing. I studied it curiously. I had never seen anything like it before.

"It's a device Elder Ryann created. It allows you to send a message telepathically with anybody else that has one," Alistair explained.

I nodded.

Alistair sighed. It looked as if he wanted to say something but couldn't.

"I didn't want it to be like this you know. "

That was all. That was his great explanation. Whatever. He's one person I wouldn't mind dying.

"Yeah, okay," I said sarcastically.

He just smiled sadly at me and became oddly silent. He then left the room. I sat back down on the bed and sighed.

That's when I noticed the thing Alistair had on the floor. My eyes widened and I picked it up. I put it in the same place Alistair had. Immediately I heard his voice in my ear. It sounded like a recorded message.

"I gave one to Cade too. Don't get caught talking to him. All you have to do is think of him and you'll reach him. You have ten minutes before a new group of guards comes. I know this is going to mean close to nothing to you, but I'm sorry. I'm not sorry for anything else I ever did, but I'm sorry to you. I did love you, Eve. Even if that sounds fake or impossible, I did. I always have. I'm sure you don't remember me, but we knew each other when we were younger. I have been watching you since then. It sounds creepier than it is. But I'm sorry. I gotta go, but don't waste this."

I scoffed at the message. He truly was insane. He was right about not wasting this chance though. And no matter how crazy he was, he did do this for me. He could have easily gotten caught but he did it for me. I rolled my eyes at how insane I sounded and thought of Cade.

"Shortie are you okay?"

I smiled at how much he cared for me.

"I'm okay Cade. Are you?"

"Ahh, not really. I kinda suck at being quiet and they kinda hate my voice apparently. So that equaled getting beaten, but anyway, how are we getting out of here?"

I sharply inhaled.

"What?" he asked.

"Cade, I surrendered myself."

There was silence from the other end. I couldn't tell what was going through his head, but then again maybe I didn't want to know.

"Why Eve? We could have made a plan! We could have gotten out of here."

I felt tears prickling. I couldn't let him convince me to change my decision.

"Please know I love you. You made me happy when nobody else could. Goodbye Cade,"

I chucked the device across the room. It shattered at the same time as the tears streamed down my face.

Elder Ryann appeared in the door. She forcefully grabbed my wrists and shackled them together. She yanked me up and tied a rag over my eyes. Silently she began leading me somewhere.

I knew it had to be where they were going to turn me into the perfect weapon.

"You're going to let Cade go right?"

"Yes," Elder Ryann said.

I couldn't detect a lie in her tone, but I couldn't detect truth in it either. It was completely emotionless. I never understood how people could do that. I was practically an open book when it came to what I was feeling. At least, it seemed like most people could tell.

I was shoved harshly into another room. I tore the blindfold off and looked around. This room had a small window that I eagerly looked out of. I soaked in the perimeter. I wasn't going to try and escape, but the view was nice.

My door was quickly open and then shut. A piece of paper laid on the floor.

Be ready for your first injection tomorrow morning.

It annoyed me that they used a whole piece of paper for that tiny note. I crumpled it up and tossed it at the door. For a moment I imagined it was a boulder that crushed the door allowing me to run away. Wouldn't that be nice?

I noticed there was a desk and paper in this room. My face lit up and I sat at the desk. There was a dull pencil as well. I picked it up and began to draw. I drew the rough outline of a pair of eyes. Cade's eyes. I shaded and smudged. Concentrating on something, even this small, took away the pain of what I had to do. I didn't stop at their eyes though. I kept drawing Cade. The one person I had left in this world. I drew his beautiful smile and his shaggy hair.

The drawing was never something I either loved to do or was fantastic at. I knew my way around art supplies, but it never turned into something I love. Although, right now, I could see why some people loved it. It made me feel so calm. It was almost scary. I hoped I could give this to Cade somehow. Maybe Alistair would. He said he has some creepy crush on me right?

I drew Cade at the cave. And even though it made me cry doing it, I drew Nova next to him. Finally, I drew myself. I wished it could be like that again. The best days of my life were with them. I loved them both so much that it hurt. It hurt to think that Nova was gone forever. It hurt to think that Cade was going to be soon too.

I looked down at the picture. The picture that would make us look like a happy family to any outsider. Well, a family with disfigured hands, but still happy. I chuckled at my lame joke. But the sorrow returned just as I was done laughing.

I bet if I could measure my hate for myself at the moment, it could fill up six swimming pools. I never used to hate myself. I think it was more of a mutual dislike. I always found something about me not to like, but never to this extent. I hated myself with my entire being. My heart and chest hurt. Was this what a broken heart felt like? My head pounded. I wasn't sure whether it was from holding back tears or hitting my head. Honestly, I didn't care. I fully deserved every ounce of pain and more. All of the people that had died for and because of me. The person I had killed. I was a terrible person.

I got up from the desk and flopped down on the bed. I honestly hoped I would die in my sleep. It would make everything easier.