A Dream Can Sometimes Just Be A Dream But It Can Also Be A Sign Of Hope

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My time at the wedding party was awkward to say the least

Everyone kept dragging me all over the place to formally meet everyone 

I felt like I would crumble in onto myself

I felt sick enough to vomit

I felt the world spin and I felt like running 

But everyone felt the need to pop in out of nowhere and touch me

Ask me questions I could never possibly answer

Tell me things that would make me blush

Soon I was suffocating and panicking so much I couldn't stop myself from shaking

But more and more people started grabbing on to me and praising me until I felt to crowded

To ever get away and I began to stutter

Then I saw them staring at me and whispering

And I felt so ashamed of making a fool of myself and my family

And at my own wedding!

I can't help but close my eyes hoping to stop the tears

Then just like that I feel my belly churn and I can't get anywhere fast enough instead all I can do is attempt to cover my mouth and run but my efforts are too late

If I ever wanted to know what death was like I would have relished in this moment for I felt like I was dying on the inside

No…

Dying on the inside doesn't even compare to what I felt when I finally opened my eyes to see that I had thrown up all over my a flower pot amd kimono sleeves

At this point I can't hear anything just ringing in my ears then my vision goes black

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I gave up trying to mediate a long time ago

Every time I closed my eyes I saw my brides face

Pale skin 

So soft looking

I want to reach out and touch it

Red lips 

Like cherries in the night of the springtime

So soft and tender

I need to keep myself under control 

Why…

Why must my little fly be so...wonderful 

No I saw the way that he looked at me

He didn't look at me like all 

The other Shiyūdōtai would

He looked at me like how I saw Shiyūdōtai Hime's look at flowers and pretty whatnots in the shop windows

That special look they only gave to things that they saw as beautiful

But there was something else in those midnight eyes...those beautiful eyes…

There was some kind of...desire? 

No I'm not too sure what it was

I've never been looked at like that before

I've never been looked at with any kind of desire

Or ...love before

Not even by my own Daha

But still those pretty eyes 

They held me

They sucked me in to his deep darkness

His sweetness

Sweet…

Almost as sweet as his lips

Red plump lips

Something about those red lips filled my body with red heat

Heat so hot it makes my flesh sear 

I get up off the floor and walk out the doors 

Out onto the back porch leading to the old bathhouse

I'm so hot 

My skin is crawling 

I need to cool off

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