Kim Namjoon

I'm pacing back and forth in my room thinking what could've been the reason for Jungkook's miserable situation now. I trust in our group that no one will blurt it out. How... and why?

I was taken back to Earth when someone knocked on my door.

"Sir, Mr Kim is waiting for you in his office. You should come this instant.", Hansu, my father's right hand. He's tall, has a well-built muscular body, long face with sharp deep eyes, pointed nose and thick lips. He's been serving my father for 40 years and he's been so loyal to him.

"Okay I'll go", I put down some papers I was holding. It's quite stressful these days. My father decided for me to be a lawyer so I can handle some legal things during his reign as the Prime Minister.

He's always telling me how hard he fought for this position and he did everything, and I mean EVERYTHING to be there. That's why he wants us to be safe so no one can come and break our life long jewelry.

I knocked on his door first before going in.

"You called for me Mr Kim?", my father, as usual, is busy on his papers. He is being so careful on everything trying not to mess up anything.

"Yes Namjoon, did you fix what I told you to fix?"

"I've taken care of it father. I even took care of his documents so no one will suspect a thing."

My father looked at me directly to my eyes for a few seconds before nodding and looked back at his papers on the table. I will always do my best to make things clear as well.

I walked out of the room and went to my car. I have to finish what I have to fix right now before anything else might happen.

It is an old warehouse far away from the city. This is where I usually fix the problems so no one can disturb me. I walked out of my car and looked at the surrounding first.

The dark and spooky trees are covering this place. The broken branches and leaves on muds, the narrow path with no traces of anyone that's been here has been good. I walked inside the building and put on my leather gloves.

"Sir, we've taken care of Mr Oh. He's inside the room with blindfold and he's firmly tied as what you said."

"Good"

He bowed at me and I entered the big stinky, rusty room.

"How are you doing Mr Oh?", huh. He was surprised when he heard my voice that he started panicking.

"K-Kim Namjoon", I walked closer to him and lowered my body.

"Yes it's me. Do you actually think you can spill something without any problems? Do you actually think we are dumb?"

"N-no no I'm sorry Mr Kim p-please give me a c-chance this won't happen a-a-again", he keeps shaking his head no and kneeled in front of me. Do he think I will let him off after what he have done?

"You tried to sing something we've kept hidden Mr Oh. You know how hard it is for us to be here and you'll just put dirt on our name?"

"N-no I'm s-sorry no", Crying while begging is so irritating.

"Do you know what we do to people who oppose us?"

He stayed silent in his place for a moment before pleading like a mad man again.

"Sir it won't happen again! It won't happen again please spare me!"

"Do you know what happened to your comrades for trying to speak? Do you think we gave them greater deal and sent them abroad? Do you believe that? NO! WE KILLED THEM! WE KILLED EVERYONE WHO TRIED TO OPPOSE US!"

"Please s-sir please... please it won't happen again sir please spare me.. I have a wife and children to take care please.."

"Hmm of course this will never happen again.. because you won't be able to do it anymore! You should've thought about that first before you tried to do something against us"

I pulled out my gun and aimed it on his head. This is what will happen to anyone who tried to go against us, we cannot let anyone throw dirt on our name. I pulled the trigger and the sound of the gun letting its bullet out echoed across the building.

I threw my gun on the ground and removed my leather gloves. Ugh it's been an exhausting day, I should relax in my room.

During the whole trip, I was looking at nothingness outside my window while the thick heavy drops of rain have been pouring on my windowpane.

Different kinds of buildings, places and people have been passing by. Sometimes I wish I'm just like them, they are free to do whatever they want while me, I have to do what father told me to. It's good because I like it too, but somehow suffocating. I want to breathe.

I sighed and looked at my phone. The wallpaper is the photo of me and my friends.. with Jungkook.. and Jimin.

Jimin has been a great friend to us, he's always supporting and comforting everyone. Though he's kinda clingy, he is the best friend you'll ever hope for. I'm really sad and sorry to what happened to him. I know I caused it but.. our pride and our fear took over. It's been almost 4 months since that happened and it still haunts me everytime.

"I'm sorry Jimin- what?"

Is that Jimin? I thought I saw him on the street. But how can it be? I mean, we buried him there. He can't be. Maybe it's because of the guilt in me.

I climbed off my car and let the our vallet park it inside. I saw dad in our living room and I didn't take a moment to go to him. I finished what he asked for so I'm done, I just want to take a rest.

Right after I entered my room, I removed my coat and throw myself on the soft mattress. I buried my face on my pillow and began tearing up. I just feel so... lost.

I want to live a normal life too. I wanna hang out with my friends, I wanna travel, I wanna do everything a normal person does but I can't... I shouldn't. I have to do a lot of things and I have to be careful on what I do because it might hurt father's name. I feel so limited, I feel like I'm being held up in a place where I can't be anything I wanted to be. It's like someone's holding my neck.. and that someone is my father.

I feel so heavy.. my body, my head.. and my eyelids..

...

"Sir, we have a company dinner later, wanna come?", my co-workers are inviting me? I don't know if I'll join them though, I'm not used to it.

"Um, you know I don't have experience on that right? I.. I don't know what I'll do there so maybe I'll just stay here.", I smiled at him and turned my back but he stopped me.

"There's always a first on everything. Besides, this is a good experience for you so you can see and know what happens every company dinner!"

"Uh-"

"Okay it's final, you'll come!"

I usually never stutter nor feel shy to anyone but I respect him because of his kindness and hardwork. He deserves it. And so maybe I'll come.

"CHEERS!"

We are at a small- I don't know what this is. This place is full of smoke, noisy, and unorganized. I'm still uncomfortable but I'll still try.

"So Mr Kim, it's the first time you came to our company dinner, do you like it?", Ms Choi, one of our best lawyers. She's firm and sophisticated inside the company but I guess she's still a normal person. She's very talkative and careless tonight. I haven't seen her like this- I mean everyone. I haven't seen them like this.

"Well I'm still trying to cope up with you guys and I'm still learning things. But I'm glad that I am here with you tonight.", I raised my glass filled with soju and we clincked our glasses.

We've eaten and drank a lot. We even went to a low class videoke room but watching them goof around is something else. I'm so happy. I even sang a few songs which I don't really do, I am really really grateful for the decision I've made.

After that wonderful night, I woke up with the warm sunlight hitting my face. A smile formed on my lips when the scenarios of yesterday's wonderful night came back in my mind.

"Ahhh, it's just so great.", I sat on my bed and crawled out of it but someone barge in my room and slammed the door. It was my father. I furrowed my eyebrows thinking why is he here and why is he mad but I was taken aback when a strong slap hit my left cheek. It stings a lot, it hurts.

"YOU MORON! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE JUST DONE?! HOW CAN YOU BE SO CARELESS KIM NAMJOON!"

What? What did I do? Is it because of the company dinner?

"I-I don't... I don't understand father"

He showed me a video. It was me.. and Mr Oh.. at the old warehouse the other day. How.. how is this possible?

"How are you doing Mr Oh?"

My face isn't visible because I was facing back but.. my voice, it can be heard properly..

"K-Kim Namjoon"

"Yes it's me. Do you actually think you can spill something without any problems? Do you actually think we are dumb?"

"N-no no I'm sorry Mr Kim p-please give me a c-chance this won't happen a-a-again"

"You tried to sing something we've kept hidden Mr Oh. You know how hard it is for us to be here and you'll just put dirt on our name?"

"N-no I'm s-sorry no"

"Do you know what we do to people who oppose us?"

"Sir it won't happen again! It won't happen again please spare me!"

"Do you know what happened to your comrades for trying to speak? Do you think we gave them greater deal and sent them abroad? Do you believe that? NO! WE KILLED THEM! WE KILLED EVERYONE WHO TRIED TO OPPOSE US!"

"Please s-sir please... please it won't happen again sir please spare me.. I have a wife and children to take care please.."

"Hmm of course this will never happen again.. because you won't be able to do it anymore! You should've thought about that first before you tried to do something against us"

When I saw myself killing Mr Oh, it was like a cold water has been poured onto me. How did this happen?

"NOW YOU KNOW! I AM LOSING MY POSITION NOW AND YOU WILL ALSO LOSE YOUR LICENSE! I AM SO MAD AND DISAPPOINTED AT YOU! GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE! FROM NOW ON, YOU ARE NOT MY SON!"

He stormed out of my room and tears fell down on my cheeks. I am sure I did everything well.. how can this be possible?

And even if I did a mistake.. it's just one time.. I did everything for him.. is it not enough?

My phone just received a text message and I know I don't have to check it but my body moved on its own. It was from unknown number but I still opened it.

"Because you decided to end mine, I decided to end yours."

W-what?

A few seconds after I stared at it, the unknown number called me. I answered it though.

"Who are you?", I asked.

"I will be here

When you think you're all alone

Seeping through the cracks

I'm the poison in your bones

My love is your disease

I won't let it set you free

Til I break you

I tried to be the lover to your nightmare

Look what you made of me

Now I'm a heavy burden that you can't bear

Look what you made of me

Look what you made of me

I'll make you see"

"W-what? Who is this?"

"You'll never know what hit you

Won't see me closing in

I'm gonna make you suffer

This hell you put me in

I'm underneath your skin

The devil within"

"Are you..."

▪︎eipoohreel▪︎