Sleepless

"Elise?"

"Mhm?" Elise is lying on her back in her bed, staring at the ceiling in the room. It's mostly dark, other than the hint of moon and starlight peeking through the window blinds.

Adelaide takes a while before she continues. After a few moments, she says, "Being around the Carters, seeing them interact together… does it make you think of Dad?"

"What's there to think about?" The comment comes a littler sharper than Elise intended. It isn't Adelaide's fault, after all. "Sorry. Just—"

"No, it's okay." Adelaide knows Elise can't see her from across the room in the dark, but she smiles, a little ruefully. "It still affects you the most, doesn't it? Even now."

Adelaide hears the blankets rustle as Elise turns onto her side, and a faint sigh sounds ever so slightly. "Maybe."

She saw the impact of it the most, at least. More than Adelaide — but that was because Elise had tried to shelter her from it, for the most part — and Kathryn, who was too young to remember anyway.

Elise recalls the nights where she scraped together a sandwich dinner for her and Adelaide, while spooning applesauce to Kathryn, who was still a toddler at the time. The nights she herded her sisters away before they could see her mom — not quite crying, but emotionally worn out, which was almost worse, in a way — too exhausted to do much other than go to bed. Not that Elise blames her, at all. It was his fault, not any of theirs.

Without realizing it, she tosses and turns in the sheets more, the movement catching Adelaide's attention. Quietly, she says, "I'm sorry. That I couldn't help."

Maybe Adelaide picked up on more than Elise gave her credit for.

"No, Addie, don't be. Please. That's what I want most." Because if you're sorry, that means that, in part, I failed to protect you. So please don't be.

There's a quiet murmur of assent from Adelaide, not quite coherent enough to form a word. The sisters fall silent for a while, but neither of them are able to go to sleep.

After about half an hour of quiet, Elise asks, "Addie?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever think about the future?"

"Yeah, lots."

"What… what about?"

"Well, you know I want to do something with literature or creative writing. It's interesting to think about what my life will be like then, when we're done with school and we're doing what we want."

"Hm. You'll be brilliant, you know."

"Thanks. So will you. Elise Ashton, making the latest discoveries in astrophysics."

Elise chuckles appreciatively.

"How come you were asking?"

"No reason, really. Just curious."

"Okay, then. Good night, Elise."

"Night, Addie."

After this second exchange, it's only a matter of time before Adelaide falls asleep, but Elise lies awake, thinking.