It doesn't matter anymore

"How can you still be so shameless after everything? Didn't you say we have important matters to discuss? Moreover, that's your reaction after what I just said?"

"Well, I am still processing everything. I know I was tortured, but it is coming back to me slowly." Haruka trailed off. "Maybe it's because I have him inside me now, but I no longer feel like running away and escaping from you, my wife."

"Don't ever do that again, you hear me? When Zane said, you did not want to see me. I thought I would have a heart attack."

Zane has no tact; as usual, his friend knew he did not mean it that way.

So he slept with Rikka? It was still hard to imagine. After that time, he mistook Rikka for Lila; he had so many regrets. He promised her that it would never happen again and that he would be more careful.

While it is true that he was not in the position to refuse the drugs or any of their orders, it does not change the reality of the situation.

Haruka caressed her hair. "Alright, I understand."

"But you know since we are on this topic. It seemed Sophia made your past women sleep with you. How many did she gather?"

At those words, he felt beads of sweat appear on his face. Hey now, why is he in trouble again?

"When I was still conscious, I saw twenty or so familiar faces."

It was not like he was in the position to count, so he could be wrong. His thoughts broke off when she wrapped her arms around his neck, and he felt his lips linger on her neck.

"Then again, it doesn't matter anymore."

"It doesn't?"

"I said this to Rikka-chan too, but even back during the time, you mistook her for me. No matter how hurt I was, I understood deep down that you would never do anything deliberately to hurt me."

"You understood?" Haruka repeated, dazed.

"Mmm, I do. I feel like I have grown up a little since I can accept things with an open mind now. Of course, if Rikka-san does end up getting pregnant, I will feel bitter, but I won't harass you over it."

Right, if he truly slept with Rikka a lot, there is a chance of that. With Sophia's personality, she probably did not give the girl birth control pills. But he does not like the idea of having a child with someone who isn't Lila.

Speaking of the child, it seems their child was the one leaving food at the door for him. 'Is he shy? He hasn't tried to speak to me once.' Maybe it was due to the weird growth; maybe the boy is comfortable with it.

Zane told him that the child's growth kept switching back and forth due to the sphere of dreams. It seems it reacts differently to those with that special blood of darkness. So, once that sphere vanishes, and they return all their dreams, the kid will return to normal too.

'Is he going to avoid me until then? I don't like that idea.'

Haruka felt a sharp pain in his neck and soon heard sucking. Lila was sucking on his flesh so tenderly, yet there was something passionate about it.

'It seems she has become bolder too. I do like these new changes, but she is quick to turn into an ice Queen. I should watch my behavior. I don't want her treating me coldly again.'

The last few days truly felt like torture for him. He never realized how frightening she was when she was angry. He used to find her anger cute, but now he knew better than to have those thoughts. The current Lila will not allow him to get away with things so easily.

To his surprise, the girl suddenly drew back quickly. "Are you sure that is enough? You can take more."

"I really want to question what goes on in that head of yours."

Oh did she see?

"My bad. You know, since I regained my memories, we haven't exactly been intimate or anything."

He misses the feeling of holding her bare skin against his—the feeling of touching her and hearing her call his name passionately.

"You don't miss at all? I know it was mainly one-sided on my part, but-" His sentence fell short when she covered his mouth with her hands.

"The truth is Haruka, when-when you didn't have your memories. We-we slept-"

Haruka could make out what she was trying to say despite her rambling. So even when he did not have memories, they did it? He raised his eyebrows at this.

"So you're telling me you took advantage of me and played with my body-"

"This is why I didn't want to tell you!" Lila exclaimed, cheeks flushed red.

Haruka laughed as he grabbed hold of her hands and kissed her fingertips. "I am joking. I think I get it. When my personality mixed with the one from our childhood, I understood something. Even back then, I had such weird thoughts, so it does not surprise me."

At those words, Lila sighed deeply. "It feels like your shameless level has increased, so I shall stop there." She trailed off. "Haruka, I don't think you should go see Rikka-chan."

"How come?"

"Other than the fact that I think mother left her in New york. Rikka-chan told me that she no longer wants to see you."

"I see. I must have hurt her."

"No." Lila shook her head. "That isn't true. It's just difficult for her, you know? Despite everything that has happened, she most likely still loves you. But she feels bad about everything that has happened between us. We fought a lot because of her, and yes, one of the reasons I left you alone in New York was because I knew she would be there for you."

"Hey, wait a second. That was one of your reasons?"

Lila coughed awkwardly, and Haruka sighed at her words. "I won't blame you. I already mentioned that on the phone."

"I know, Haruka, but it was truly stupid of me to leave your side. Even though when we first started dating, I promised you that I would stick to you like glue."

His gaze softened as he leaned down and lightly nibbled on her lips. "I think I told you before; it does not matter what you do when it comes to me, Lila. I was indeed upset, but it is not like I did not understand your choice."

If she did not do, Kiryu's situation would be far worse.

Haruka saw her troubled expression and grabbed hold of her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I understand, okay?"

"Ah-huh, okay." After a few minutes, he felt her rest her head on his shoulders. "I truly missed you. I realized how stupid it was to leave you alone. When my due date was approaching, I was in so much pain; even though Kiryu was there by my side, it wasn't enough. I realized how much I needed you."