five

the sun hit her face, welcoming a brand new day yet nothing was new in her life.

the mundanity took over her life and ruined it.

she couldn't sleep at night either, not because she was painting her heart out but because she was held hostage by the anxiety that visited her every night. like an unwelcome guest for an overlong stay. but what's worse is that it wasn't only the anxiety which held her, but also her fear of coughing up petals, flowers and eventually flowers with thorns which strangled her neck. her not wanting to see kai ever again yet wanting him to hold her close, telling her that it's all going to be alright. kiss her forehead and free her.

but life isn't a fairytale. no happy endings. luna knew endings are never happy. endings are just endings. tragic.

she groans as she gets up and gets ready for another painful day.

she suddenly felt a throbbing pain in her chest and rushed to the washroom and vomited.

petals.

it was back, without a doubt.

it took a whole good year to heal her wounds and now, in a split second they are opened, again.

how unfair life is.

she gets up and looks at the petals, terrifyingly beautiful. if only they didn't come out of her, she'd be mesmerized by the beauty of it. but it's blood and it's flowers and it's unfortunate.

if it were in her hands, she wouldn't ever feel so ardently. anything. love, like for everyone else, wasn't beautiful to her. it wasn't a bliss for her, it didn't bring butterflies in her stomach but brought chaos in her mind. it was as if someone was ripping her chest apart with bare hands.

love may be beautiful but only if the feelings reciprocate. love for her was, dying every night, thinking one day, maybe just one day, even for a split second, he'd be able to look at her only half of the way she looks at him.

hope is what kept her alive, even if she could clearly see the truth before her tired eyes, she hoped.

she flushes down the petals she vomited and walks away.

she gets ready for another tiring day when she really didn't want to go, not because kai is there but because she's afraid she might cough again.

walking to school, delilah catches up to her. "you alright? seemed a little zoned out yesterday." delilah asked, concerned.

her sudden appearance startled luna as she widened her eyes but settled almost immediately.

"yeah, i told you i couldn't sleep at night."

"seems like you didn't sleep last night as well." delilah guessed and she was right.

delilah and luna has been friends since the middle school and chose this high school together. delilah knew everything about kai, not because luna told her but because she saw it in luna's eyes, every passing day. she even saw kai yesterday but hoped luna didn't. but it was impossible for her not to notice kai. there was one thing she didn't know, that luna's sickness was back with kai.

walking in the hallway, she saw kai, alluring as ever. just standing there, talking, totally unaware of her presence, like always. she feels a sudden pain in her chest once again and an urge to cough up bad. but she stops her self in the presence of delilah. she didn't want delilah to worry like before.

"i'll be right back!" luna rushed to the washroom.

and delilah wasn't a fool.