chapter 18

"Wait, what," I said. "did you just agree with me.? I ask them. "yes," said Josh. "yes, we think it would be a good more to get away from the city and find someplace safer not only for the kids but for us as well you know," said Gabby. "well yeah but I thought you guys would protest that because the city still has a lot of supplies," I said. "yes, but they are the dead walking around and the living losing their shit," counter Gabby. I had to admit she had a point. So, I just agree with her and we started forming a plan to leave the city behind. I left the girls to bond while I talk to Gabby about the past two weeks. She just looks at me, I could see the answer swimming beneath the surface but she stays quit. "look I just want to get to know you better that's all," I told her, "also you don't have to tell me how it happens," I said to her looking in her eyes to let her know I meant it. She didn't have to tell me how she got bitten but from what I could tell her got bitten from the start because it was healing.

She looks me in the eyes not believing me when I said she didn't have to tell me and that I won't bother her from answers. She can tell me when she's ready or not at all. I mean I should kill her but thinking of that kills me. She isn't infected like the rest of them. She got bitten and live. She didn't turn into those things that Jackie call tickers or growlers. She is here, breathing and I looking at me with such curiosity her beautiful bright brown eyes. I couldn't take it anymore and I look away from her. "like I said it's up to you," and I walked away from her. My face slight burning from looking at her too long. As I walked away from her I went to find Josh to ask him about driving out of here or walking. As I walk throughout the building trying to find him I heard something break. I stop and look around. I draw my weapon and listen to the quiet. At first, I didn't hear anything then I heard it. I took off the sound quietly. I saw one of the apartment doors open slightly.

I pushed the door slightly open to get a better look inside. My view was no longer in questions. I could now see clearly and I didn't like it. I notice footprints on the floor it the stains looks too dark to be blood. My only guess was that someone got bit and came here looking for help. The only help they'll get is a bullet to the head. I moved inside looking for where this person might be to get this over with fast. Whoever this was, wasn't going to stay here and put my friends and my girls in danger. I had already made up my mind about killing whoever this was until I saw them. "oh no" was all I said in shock. What I saw almost killed me. It was a kid maybe I was a few years older than him. He turns around with a look of terror on his face. His eyes look at me then at my weapon pointed at him. "h-help me," he pleaded. His voice creaked and the look he was giving me broke me. I looked into his dark brown eyes and black curly hair covering his brow. He dark skin was pale and he was shaking from fear. He was holding onto his right arm. That black blood was dripping from his hand. I close my eyes and cures. The only way to help him was to kill him. I lower my gun and said "alright kid ill help just close your eyes and take a deep breathe ok. I need you to calm down for me," I told him. He did what he was told. As soon as his eyes were close I raise my gun again and pull the tiger.

It all happens in slow motion. I saw his eyes fly eye in horror then close in peace as his body drops to the ground. I heard footsteps rush my way. I didn't bother turning towards them. I just stood there looking over another kid's body. This was the second kid I killed since all this started. First was the little kid Jake and now this kid. I didn't even know his name. "we need to leave soon," as all I said to Gabby and Josh. I couldn't take killing another kid. I walked out of the room and left them they. I walked until I was alone. My back leaning against the wall I slide down to the floor. I drop my weapon and brought my hands to my face. I close my eyes and I see him there asking for help. But knowing I couldn't help him stirred something in me. I couldn't help him like I couldn't help Jake. But I helped Casey and Carmen. Right, that was good. I thought to myself it was good. I kept repeating to myself.

I didn't notice until a soft hand went through my short hair. I looked up and saw Gabby standing over me. She had a look of worry on her face and saddest in her eyes. I wanted to look away from her but I couldn't. she held my gaze with her captivating eyes. She didn't say anything she just sat down next to me and took my hand. She squeezes it softly. I didn't say anything in fear that I would break. I wouldn't allow myself to break. Not now. I lean my head against the wall and close my eyes and breath. That's all I could do to get through this. I wouldn't ask Gabby to help me when she has her own demons coming for her.

Then I heard her speak. "this wasn't the first kid you killed, right?" she asks me. "no, at the start of all this I try to save a kid name Jake but I was too late and he got bitten in the face. I watch him turn and then killed him," I told her. I close my eyes again. "it feels like all I ever do is kill the dead and the living. Or watch the living died," I told her. At this point, I couldn't stop talking. "I almost let Casey died too, she was running away from them and is aw her a part of me thought about leaving her to go save my family but the bigger part of me save her, then I went to the hospital my brother works at and kill him and my mother, my father killed himself in front of me. Then in the middle of all that I saw Carmen, at first, she didn't have a name she was just there cry softly wrap in her blanket. I told myself I wasn't going to leave her and I didn't" I said. "and if I was given the chance to do all this over again and meant saving my family then letting Casey died, I'd save Casey and Carmen.

I open my eyes and looked into Gabby's. She looks right back at me with a knowing smile on her face. "you love those girls don't you" she said. I give her a soft smile and said "yes". Gabby didn't let go of my hand as we sat there letting the silence take over. It wasn't awkward. It was a nice kind of quiet. We sat there holding hands, I'm not going to lie it felt nice to hold her hand. Her hand was soft. Then she spoke up. "I got bitten and I was going to end it but part of me want to stop and kept it going, looks like I was right to keep going," she said to me then smile. I just looked at her and what she told me. I continue to stare at her while a smile blush crept onto her face. "you're beautiful "I say. As soon as the words leave my mouth my eyes go wide open and I get up. "um let's go find Josh and make a plan to leave this hellhole for a better hellhole," I say.

I quickly took off to the apartment to find Josh. Gabby is following behind me. Her face slightly pink. 'Wow' I thought to myself, I did that to her. When I walked into the living room of his place I saw Josh with a map of our start and of our city. "hey lovebirds I was just planning out a route when Gabby and I heard a gunshot and went to check it out, I stay behind but anyway what happens?" he said. "uh well I just shot a kid again and Gabby came to see if I was ok and don't call us love birds again, "I said with my face burning from the blush I am fighting to keep away. He just nodded his head while I walked deeper into the house to find the girls cuddle in the same. Casey and Carmen were asleep while Abby was keeping watch over them. When she notices me, she gave me a shy smile and went back to watching over the two youngest.

I enter the living room to see Gabby and Josh fighting. "uh guys why are you fighting," I ask them. "we aren't fighting we just have a disagreement on how to leave the city" said Josh. "he wants to drive out of here and that could be dangerous and I say we walk out of here," said Gabby. I look at the two of them and think about both options. Driving can be faster and we can carry more supplies with us but we can attract the dead and the living on the other hand walking would be safer but we couldn't hide from the living and dead forever, also we wouldn't be able to carry as much with us. I thought the two options a bit more before I sat down next to Josh. I say" we use the car for the matter of carrying more supplies but walking out of the city seem to benefit us without getting into any fighting," I said.

It looks like Gabby wanted to protest. She was tight lip before speaking. "on we use to the car but we need to find a better way of out the city, something was no one will notice," she said and I agree with her. We spent the rest of the day looking for different routes out of the city. I said to go up north and the other seems to agree with me. After a few hours, we finally had a plan out a route to use the car and to walk. I would go first and clear out a path and radio back anything that was wrong and Josh was following behind slowly. Now for outside the city, I suggest that we go to Castaic Lake. Josh asked me why and I said that there was a farm that, that a family friend had that we could say there. he seems to understand what I was getting at. I knew that the property was about six thousand acres. We could farm and grow our own food and I knew that the house had a six-foot wall around it. That's what made me pick that place. With the wall, I could protect the girls better and my friends. It was dark out by the time we finish our places to leave the city.

I quickly wash up and ate before I find a spot to sleep. I knew the girls were safe so sleep came easily to me. Nothing was on my mind and I was at peace, even for a moment, that was all I needed. I knew we would leave at first light to pack the car and I would be walking all day. But it was worth it. Soon I was fast asleep with nothing on my mind.

I woke up before the sun was out. The sky was still dark but would soon fade away in an array of colors into the bright baby blue. I slept on the floor with Artemis lying next to me. She was a great sleeping buddy. I got up and started packing up all the stuff we were going to be taking with us today. I first gather all the food and bottles and put them into boxes. After some time, I had a system going in packing things that were important for our survival and what would help Josh and Abby adjust to this better. I took some of their family photos and but only a few and the rest we would leave behind. I was almost done when I hear the other wake up and get ready for the long day ago. I notice that Josh and Gabby were adding more supplies while the girls were getting ready. I stop packing and got some food. I went to check on the girls I saw that Casey and Abby were packing up some clothes and food. Carmen was laying down quietly playing with a teddy bear.

I smile at that and went to her. "hey little dude how are you," I cooed at her. She gently laughs and smiles up at me then she started making grabbing movements at me. I give her my hand and she quickly grabs onto me. I laugh at her and pick her up. She has gotten a bit heavier which is good in my book for a growing girl. I set her back down and ask the girls if they needed help. They shook their heads no and I left them to it.

I went back to the living room to gather more supplies and my weapon. It was getting close to eight in the morning. And it was time for us to leave this city for a safe place. I collect the girls and everyone grab a box. We had to make two trips. After everything was put Josh's car I went to the surrounding area to make sure it was safe for us to leave. After ten minutes of checking and re-checking the area, I radio Josh letting him know it was ok to move.

Everyone so offers I would head growling or yelling and radioing him to stop. It was a long hot day. The sun was blaring down on me and I could feel my skin burn. I was about twenty feet away from the car and moving away from it as he slowed to a stop. In front of me was a small car. It looks to be a hatchback. I didn't want to stay still and out in the open so I went to it. I sidearm my weapon and began to push the car out of the way. I push hard and ten minutes later it was out of the way and that's when I saw it. I saw three growlers quickly making their way towards me. I didn't want to shoot at them and draw more to me so I took out my knife instead. The one closet to me take to grab me but I dodge it and stabbed it in the head. And I quickly took down the last two. I whip the sweat and weird looking blood off my face and went further up the road to look for more.

After looking and saw nothing I single them to move. After hours of moving slowly through the city, we finally made it to the limits. I radio Josh to turn off the car so I can check it out. And to my surprise, I saw Humvee abandon and the dead wearing uniforms. In order to give the rest and to thank them, I ended them. There were about five of them and I kill them all. I was breathing a bit hard but I didn't stop. I radio Josh to move up slowly again while I check out our surroundings. It was getting dark down and we were home free from the city. I went into the car and took a breather as my body began to relax into the leather seat. It would take about two hours to get to the farm but I had no problem going to sleep for that time.