chapter 19

By the time I wake up, we are getting close to the farm. The stars are shining bright with the half moon overhead. I tell Josh to stop the car so I can get out and look around the area to make sure it's safe for us. He agrees with me and gets out of the car with me. Its dark out and we had the headlights of the car light up the way for us. As we get closer to the gate I notice that its lock. Looking around I tell Josh to help me get over it. He does and I land squarely on the other side falling to my knees. I groan in slight pain and move around the yard. And that's when I notice the dog charging at me and I run away. "There's a fucking dog help" I yell at him. "Hey, come here Dice come!' I heard someone say. I turn around and couldn't believe my eyes. "Jane?" I said. The person walked towards me and throw her arms around me. "Oh, thank goodness you're ok Haley!" she said to me. I let her hug me. She was my mother's best friend since childhood and soon became my godmother. "Danny comes outside now' she yells. "Oh, my Haley!" she said and pulls me into a hug as well. I couldn't believe it. They were both alive.

I pulled away from them and went back to my friends and girls. "Yea-uh guys its ok," I told them. I went back to my godmothers to see what they knew. Danny went and unlocked the gate and Josh drive in. everyone got out of the car and I introduce them all. They lead us inside and I saw they had little power in the form of solar panels. I was still in shock from seeing them alive. I thought the worst would of happen but it didn't and I'm glad it didn't because I don't think I can handle killing any more of my family. Everyone settle in quickly. Jane asks if everyone was ok and saw that we had two kids with us. I stood up and told them that these two were mine. Jane had a smile on her face but I think she might be thinking of the wrong reason that I have them. I then explain what I meant by telling them the story of how I save them both. I kept out the part where I kill my mother and brother and watch my father killed himself.

I sat down and Casey gave Caren to me. Carmen wouldn't stop crying and she didn't know what to do. She told me how she feeds her and changes her but she wouldn't stop. when she handed me, her I spoke in a hushed voice asking her what's wrong. She cried a bit more but soon stop when she saw who I was. I don't think she really knows who I am but he reaches up trying to grab at me. I smile at her and give her my hand. She held on tightly. She smiles at and let loss a laugh before playing with my fingers. This kid is too cute for words and I'm glad we got her out of the city but this isn't a life for her. Growing up here is safe but the world, our world just broke apart.

I couldn't stop thinking about her future in this hell hole, about all of our futures. But this is our life now and I'll be damn if I don't do everything in my power to keep these girls safe. I was lost in thought when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I look up and saw that is was Danny. She gave me a soft smile and told me that we would talk tomorrow. I had a feeling she wanted to know what happens to my family. And I didn't want to be the one who told her that my family is gone. I didn't want to do it but I had to, Jane had every right to know that her best friend that someone she called sister was gone. I close my eyes and I saw my mom with her brightest smile. I smile at the thought and left the house to go sit outside. In the darkness that consumes I can always count on the night sky to fill me with these bright beautiful stars that were painted in. Every time I close my eyes I hope that this was just a nightmare and I would wake up and go to work but I knew that wasn't going to happen. I didn't feel the presents next to me until it spoke. I heard her soft voice and a small smile appear on my face. I look over at Gabby and hear what she was saying. "This place is good for us, not too far from the city but not too close too," she said. I agree with her but didn't say anything after that.

Just sitting here with her was amazing. Taking everything in and actually stopping to breath was something I didn't think I would enjoy so much but I do. I was actually able to fully relax but I know by this time tomorrow I would in work mood and started to build this place up to protect the people I care about. Instead, I turn to Gabby and saw wonder in her eyes as she looks up into the beautiful night sky. I blush when she turns to me with a hint of something in her eyes. I couldn't tell what it was because she turns away and told me I should get some rest. I wanted so badly to ask her how she felt or to show her something but I couldn't. A part of me won't put her through this. I won't let my feelings make me weak.

I got up and Gabby soon follow, we went back inside and I saw all three girls asleep on the floor. I smile and pick up the girls one by one and brought them to the downstairs bedroom. I kiss them and left them. They needed rest. I walk into the kitchen and saw Josh with a cup and talking to my god family. I pulled up a chair and sat down. I saw the questions burning in their eyes wanted to come out. I didn't know how to tell them without feeling the pain and void left in my heart. But I had to tell them it's was the right thing to do and I owe it to them.

I felt the pain return and I look up and saw my godparents talking to Josh. I knew this would and will break their hearts but I got to do it. "I got something to say," I said. They stop talking and look my way. "Um my family is gone and I'm the only one left," was all I said. Then I told them all what happens. How my mother was bitten by one and taken to the hospital where my brother worked and how he turned into one of those things and how I saw my father take his own life to protect me from himself.

I told them how I search for them and find them and how I ended my brother and mother but how I save the kids. How I risk my neck for people I don't know how I made it with these kids and how I was lost in another city, how everything leads up to this moment. I just throw up words until I had nothing left to say. I look at them and I saw the tear running down Janes' face and the saddest in Danny's eyes. I look at them feeling the pain grow more. I couldn't breathe. I got up and left the room. I couldn't face them any longer.

I left the house all together and sat on the outdoor set. Without the lights, I could see all the stars on this black canvas above me. Painting the sky with white dots that created imagines. I look up wishing this all never happen that it was just another dream but I knew it wasn't. it was my reality but it just wasn't mine alone. It was Josh and his sister, the girls, Gabby and on the other side of the country Jackie's and whoever is left in what was once one of the greatest cities known. But the city that never sleeps is now gone just like the city of angles and the rest of the state. The city with broken wings.

That was all I could think about. I didn't want to go inside but I can the body relax and shut down on me. I didn't fight it, I let it happen and close my eyes as the star disappears into my own darkness.

I awoke to the sunlight shining on my face. I blink a few times to feel the warmth on my face and spread thought out my body. I got up and my body aches from sleeping in a chair. I ran y hands through my greasy hair and yawn. I needed to wash up and cut my hair. I walked back inside the house and saw Josh sleeping on the floor while the girls on the pullout bed. I didn't want to wake anyone up so I went into the kitchen and had an apple. I didn't notice that anyone was behind until she spoke up. I quickly turn around ready to fight but when I realize that it was my godmother Jane I calm down and put down the knife I picked up. She didn't seem all that surprised by my reaction. She just assumes that it was not only from my training but also living in the city full of the walking dead. She looks at me with such saddest in her eyes that I couldn't stay there any longer. I try to move but she grabs me and pulled me into a hug. I froze at the sudden contact but relax into it and hugged her back.

She didn't say much but I knew what I told her last night hurt her greatly and walking out on her was an asshole move. "I'm sorry," I said. "You have nothing to be sorry about sweetie life happens and this happens," she told me. I didn't know what else to say after that. She just smiles at me and started working on breakfast. I moved out of her way and decided to wake everyone up. With groans and moans, later everyone was up to expected, Casey and Carmen. I wanted the girls to sleep a bit more. They were still young and needed all the sleep they could get. Josh was up and about getting ready for the day while Abby look lost. Gabby was nowhere in sight. I wanted to get to know her better. But I thought against it. She is beautiful but forming anything more than a friendship was out the question.

We all made our way into the other room to let the girls sleep some more and Abby was watching over them. I like the kid but she needed to learn how to fight and defend herself. I will ask Josh to not only teach her but teach Casey as well. You will never know what will be thrown at us and I wanted everyone to be ready.

While lost in thought I didn't notice the plate of food that was placed in front of me until Danny told me. I blink and looked down and saw the food. I ate, I tasted the flavors and moan in glee. I was so glad that my godmothers own a vineyard but also had chickens on their land.

After eating I wanted to talk to everyone. "So, guys I've been thinking, this is all good that we are here but we need to build up this place so we can protect it you know," I said to them. I saw them nod their heads agreeing with me but I knew what I was about to say next wouldn't sit well with them. "I know there is a small town near here so we could easily raid that area but in order to get more supplies and weapons and maybe help more people we need to go back to the city," I said. That when I saw Josh shot up and said, "Nah uh no way in hell are we going back into the city after we just left," he said. "Look I know we just got out but before I came across you or the girls Captain Kinser had the headquarters on lockdown and was holding down the front while killing zombies, growlers whatever the hell we want to call them," I said to them. But I wasn't sure that was the case anymore. It's been about five weeks since all this started and about four weeks since I last see them. Josh and I disagree all day long about heading back into the city while the other said nothing.

I want to know what they think beside Josh. I knew he was scared of the city because let's face it that day we got here we haven't seen that dead roaming around nor the living but that could very much change. What if the living finds us and they aren't exactly 'friendly' I couldn't let that happen on my watch. We needed to build up our new home and maybe help those that are alive. No, we needed to help those that are alive to prevent more of the undead walking around like they own the place. Josh was not having any of it. He called me crazy and mad and I agreed with him for the most part but I wasn't just thinking about myself or the girls I also thinking of the people who needed help. "You don't understand this just didn't happen overnight this was planned and happen in New York City as well," I told a raving Josh. He looks at me and calls me a liar. Now I am normally a calm person but once you call me a lair I get mad. I got up in his face and punch him hard in the jaw. "Don't you ever call me a lair again Josh," I said and walk away from him.

I needed to calm down so I went outside. I saw Artemis and Dice playing. Watching them I began to calm down. I close my eyes and I felt someone stand beside me. When I open my eyes, I saw Josh there with his face turning purple already. "I'm sorry," was all he said. I look away from him. I didn't care that he was sorry. "So how do you know about New York," he asks me. "I know because I spoke to a women name Jackie at the start of this all and she gave me the laid down and how it started for her. She told me about a truck bomb killing people and those who were down didn't stay down and so on and so forth until the radio cut out on us," I told him. "I think I know why the radio cut out, someone is jamming the signals from going out," he said. "No shit Sherlock," I said. I walked away from him or well try to until he took hold of my arm. "I'm sorry for calling you a lair, I know you're not, it's just so much to take in," was all he said. I understood what he was saying but I still stay quiet. I didn't want to talk to him.

I walked away from him to the front gate to check out what was going on outside of it. Nothing was going on but still, I check it out anyway. I also wanted to re-enforce the gate as well. I would have to talk to Danny about that. I knew he meant it when he apologized but I can't stand being called a liar. I needed to cool off so I stayed away from everyone including the girls. Being out in the open I couldn't stay behind these walls anymore. I wanted to scout out the area for a bit but I knew I had to tell everyone. I remember the small town near here. And just a few hours down the road was out fallen city that I wanted to help. But I know I can't do it alone and I know that everyone here is scared.

I went back inside and told Josh what I wanted to do. I wanted to scout the local area and raid it for supplies and help anyone in need. I know there was the Castaic shopping center that could hold supplies. There was also the orally auto part store in case we need anything to fix up the car. There was also your regular run of the mill stores and a small clinic.

I went to the group and told them what I wanted to do. Josh was against the idea but he also said it was a good one. For us to explore and to help people is what I was trained to do even if it meant dealing with the dead. Gabby was on board with the idea but had ideas of her own. She also said we had no form of long-distance communication for when we go scouting or for supply runs. Again, she was right so we couldn't do anything until we had a form of communication and not just yelling at each other. I went upstairs to the second floor of the three-story house to in the girls. I knew they were moved and I wanted to check up on them. I find them all in the same round while Abby was reading to the two younger one. I was at the door and just listen to her read to them until Carmen started crying. Casey and Abby tried their best to calm her but she was actually getting loud and read in the face. I move to her and took her in my arms. She calms down and reaches out for me. I smile down at her and held her close to me.

When she finally calms down and went to sleep I put her down. Carmen was getting bigger by the day and in no time, she would be walking. I needed to make this place safe for her and Casey. I needed to. I would lose my mind if anything happens to my two girls. And I knew Josh felt the same way about Abby with her being only fourteen.

I went back downstairs a when I heard Josh talking about going back into the city to police headquarters. "so, you agree with me then," I ask him. "Yes, I do agree with you and if people are surviving there that means we can help people and make a living out of this, though it may be fucked but we still have to live and fight those growlers, zombies whatever the hell you want to call them," he said to me. I nodded in agreement. I needed to come up with a plan before anything. "First thing first we need to stay in contact with each other and the only way I can see that is if we use radios of all kinds so we need to go into Castaic and raid any store we find with that and the local department," I said to them all. Josh and Gabby agree with me and so did my godmothers. "I think it needs to be a two-man job on foot for right now and we need someone to protect this place, no offense Jane but are aren't the fighting type," I said to her. She laughs and agrees with me. After an hour, more of planning and talking it was decided that Gabby and I would go into town while Josh and Danny would protect our home.

I went upstairs to tell Casey what was going on and told her to be good and kiss her forehead then I kiss Carmen and left.

We had about five hours of daylight left. Gabby and I got ready by taking out large bags and a blunt weapon as well as our stranded issues nine millimeter. Five minutes later we were outside the gate and on the road. The house wasn't that far from the town. Just about a forty-minute walk at the pace, we were going at. We find a hardware store but had no luck finding any radios. The next place was the shopping center. That was about twenty minutes away from us.

When we reach the center, I saw some of those things growler. Growlers were annoying. They couldn't really hear or see from what I encounter but tickers were a different story. Those fast fuckers with their super hearing were something to not mess with. While I was speaking to Jackie she also told me about another form called freaks but before I could ask her about it we were cut off from each other. I looked over to Gabby and saw her getting ready to move. She looks right back at me and we moved in sync to our target. There were seven growlers and the two closet ones I took out. Hearing bone crack from heading them felt strangely relaxing. Apart of me knew that was a bad sign but everything around me was a bad sign until proving otherwise. Gabby took out three more and the lost two were mine to take care of.

After clearing the outside of the center, I saw that some of the stores were blocked from the outside luckily for us those places were useless. We continue our search and stay close to each other. That's when we stop and hear something weird. It sounded like teeth clicking and before we knew it a ticker was coming our way in back neck speeds. I quickly push Gabby out of the way and was tackled to the ground by the ticker. I held it by the arms so it wouldn't scratch me but that didn't stop it from trying to take a bite out of my face. I turn away from it and that black blood was dripping from its eyes onto my face. It felt heavy and gross on my skin. Then it went limp.

I look up and saw Gabby but grab her by the arms and pull her towards me as another ticker came our way and slammed into an old car. Thank the sun goddess that it didn't have an alarm or we would me fuck. Before it could get up I stomp on its head and then use my bat to finish the job.

We left that area until I spotted a small electronics store at the far end of the center. I pointed that out to Gabby and we saw even more growlers. I close my eyes and mumble fuck. Then I hear Gabby say it aloud. "We need something to lore them away and I think I'm faster than you," was all I said to her. There was no way on the green-blue planet that I was going to let her do it. "Excuse me like hell are you, you have two little girls to get back to," She shot right back at me. "Like hell I am, I am faster and I will make it back to you and to my girls trust me, and besides your too cute too for me to let anything bad happen to you," and before she can say anything I went running for the storefront and lore the dead away. I knew I was going to get it when I came back for her but I wouldn't let her do it.

I took out of my weapon and took aim and shot off three rounds. Two of the what looks to be eleven went down while the others took off towards that sound which was me. I took a few move shoots and ran away from the store took my bat out hitting car window. I knew that Gabby was at the store already so I needed to lose this gang and head back to her but not too close. I ran for about fifteen more minutes before I find a new car and hit it to set off its alarm. With this now serving as a new distraction, I went back to the small shop.

After I enter the shop I spotted Gabby and when she turns to me I saw the look in her eyes. I was going to get it. Before I knew it her eyes were red and black and she slaps me hard. I saw her body change a bit and took a step forward and hugged her. I felt the heat coming off her body is and soon it was dying down. "I'm sorry but it was something I just do things without thinking, I'm pretty reckless and I know I shouldn't be but I just am, also your eyes are kind of pretty, not saying that they are beautiful but right now I think being bitten has changed you somehow," I told her and I show her a reflection of herself in the stores mirror and she saw how she looked. "Wow" was all she said and I stood there with her. After a while, her eyes change back and we fill our bags with a lot of radios and other things.

With everything pack, we set off back home. It was getting late and I was gross. I was cover in black blood, dirt, and sweat and I so needed a shower. I bet Gabby felt the same. When I think about it I haven't showered since this all started. So, I had about four weeks worth of it. on me.

"I small so bad right now that I could kill a person," I said. "Same here," was all she said. We stay quite on our way home only notice the sounds that weren't normal anymore. Yes, the birds sang and the wind blow but every now and then we would hear a growl or a tick of something that was inhuman. An hour later we were home and Josh was there to greet us. We didn't say much until we enter the house and dropped our bags on the floor. "We come with the shit we need to go back to LA," I said. I wanted to drop to the floor but I wouldn't dare to do it on Jane gray throw rug. She would kill me. So I went outside and turn on the hose to wash some of the dirt and gross stuff off my body. Gabby soon follows.

"Are you really planning to go back to LA when we just left?" she asks me. And all I could do was say yes and explain to her why. As we wash up Gabby took off her shirt and I lost my mind. She was tone and had slight curves that were just right for the picking. Her breast wasn't bigger than mine but was the perfect size to cup into my hands. She was just standing there in a black bra and pants, then soon those came off as well and I swear I dead. "Like what you see?" she said. I blush and turn away. I quickly took off my clothes to wash myself better until I felt a pair of eyes on me. I smirk and said, "Like what you see here cutie," to her. She smirks and blushes before looking away. This was going to be fun but then I stop that train of thought. We had no time for this.

After washing up Gabby and Josh set up all the radios we had brought to the same channel. He handed them out and then call the girls downstairs to give them each of to. I love the thought of Casey haven't a radio on hand in case anything happens. After that was done Josh and I began to plan our run to the city.

Well, late into the night Josh called it quits and I stay up. I was outside watching the stars. I notice Gabby coming towards me with a shy look on her face and before I could even ask her what's up she grabs my face and kisses me. I froze at first but soon I melt into her lips, I melted beneath her touch. I wanted to push her away but can't. she pulls away from me and said, "Be safe in LA," before she left me with my thoughts. I wanted to pull her back into me but didn't. I knew why she did it but I couldn't think of that now. Josh and I were going back into the city in a day and I didn't need this on my mind.