Twenty-Second Vow: Perplexed

Catherine woke up feeling less tired than she was before. She got so upset with the both of them she just exploded. She sighed and stretched out her worn out limbs. "I need more sleep." Contradictory to what the angry female stated, she was not feeling sleepy. Tired? Yes.

She unlocked her phone and opened her boy best friend's contact. 'Should I? No… Yes? Maybe?' Her brain cells struggling to give an answer. So much doubt in them. "I mean why would they be angry at me when they ruined this day for me?" Catherine looked up to the ceiling. 'Is that how this works?'

All of high school she had always been with Victor. From the walking alongside him under the dimming street light after a long day at school to amusement parks and other getaways. 'I have been so attached to him. I basically missed my chance to make new friends.'

Well, Catherine has friends. The case is that in her anxious head, they were not feeling the same way. Some guaranteed, especially the boys. They liked living after all. The girls? She had more bullies than of real friends.

The girl friends she had were much of a mere classmate. Just acquaintances. The only real friend she had is Grace. The extroverted Grace adopted the introverted Catherine. As someone as passive as Catherine, the wanting-to-make-friends narrative did not really bother her as much as it should.

"But it would be nice if I had more than Victor and Grace." What would happen if they were to disappear? She would be all alone. "Can Grey be considered a friend?" She scoffed. "He's more trouble for all that's worth."

Her mantra was: Having little to no friends is alright. As long as you have that one person who you trust dearly and reciprocates that feeling. She will be okay.

So what is she did not have a lot of friends? It is not like having a lot will bring world peace or end global hunger or even make the country better. The lengths she does to try to convince herself that it is really fine.

Being alone did not make a significant impact on her. Just vibing with herself brings inner peace but she would not want it if people described her as a 'loner'. Even if she liked being alone in some occasions, she just dreaded that word so much. The bullies back then probably might be the reason why.

Catherine got up and headed to the kitchen to have a little snack and a drink. The classic Twix and a cup of milk to sweeten the rest of her ugly day. "I swear Twix is the best snack ever." She went back to her room along with her goodies and checked her phone once more.

She is surprised. In fact, she was surprised how she's surprised. It was unsettling how none of them made the initiative to text or call. "Wow, they really took me seriously… Alright, let's finished off this essay or whatever."

She busied herself in her work Clack, clack, clack. She looked at the time. "Seven already?" Time for dinner. She whistled as she called Peanut's attention and grabbed a can of dog food and gently placing it to her food bowl.