You didn't let me go

"Where do you want to go, Nika?"

This again...

"The park!" I had to try.

"Mmm... But I want to go to our place!"

No! Not again! "B-but the park!

"No!" he yelled. Our surroundings shifted to the reservoir, where we stood on the tall structure. The strong wind blew his unruly hair and I shivered. "Why didn't you catch me?" he whispered softly.

"I-I wanted to! I tried to-"

"You didn't catch me!" he screamed and fell back into the water. I jumped in and reached my hand to grab him, but yet again, I couldn't catch him. I could never catch him. For ten years, I couldn't catch him. Ten years since it happened. Ten years since the nightmares started. Ten years of trying to forget and move on. Ten years of failing. I wiped a tear from my eye as I eyed the date today. 27th March 2020.

~~~~~

"Nope, not at all, next!"

My theater teacher clapped her hands, calling for the next student auditioning. I sat in the theater seats close to the back and cleaned the lenses of my glasses.

"All of them are hopeless. I can't feel the 'mmf' from them," she complained as she took a seat next to me.

"I thought the one before her was pretty good-"

"Bah. We don't want 'pretty good'. We want perfection. Next!"

I giggled at her. That's Mrs Guru. She's my theater teacher and my favorite educator.

I was in the theater club as a scriptwriter and we were currently having drama class. Mrs Guru was using the time to audition students for a play I had written.

"Next!" she yelled. "No one's got what it takes for your play! I want passion, powerful, phenomenal-"

"Um... can I start?" a deep voice asked. Mrs Guru and I looked up on stage to see a good-looking boy.

"I want that," Mrs Guru nodded her head and pointed a finger at the boy.

He looked familiar for some reason. Warm honey-toned skin, unruly long black hair, sharp intense eyes, a sharp jawline and a dancer's body with long thin legs. I swear, he was pretty lanky, like 3/4 made of legs. I looked down at my feet in disappointment.

"You two see those? Why can't you be like that?" I asked my legs. No response, just as always. Rude.

"I'm auditioning for the part of the Emperor's brother," the beautiful boy said.

"Do as you wish," Mrs Guru said and quickly took a seat.

I raised an eyebrow at her. She turned to me, "What? He's a cutie."

"Right," I couldn't face my teacher.

The guy's facial expression changed. He looked sad as if he would cry at any moment.

"I know I'm useless. That I'm the inferior son. But did I ask to be put in charge of this? Did I? So why is everyone telling me what to do! Why!"

I was shocked by his performance. I could feel his bitterness and frustration. Without realizing, I clapped. Mrs Guru one-uped me. She stood up and gave a round of applause.

The guy on stage's face broke a smile. How could he change his expressions so quickly? Dang, this boy was made for the silver screens. "Thank you," he bowed and walked down to join the other contestants backstage.

"That's it, that's a wrap. We are done for today," Mrs Guru yelled.

"Um, Mrs Guru, shouldn't we cast the others first-"

"Nope, that's our guy," she shushed me.

"But what about-"

"Oh dear Annika. When there's a boy like that," she pointed to where he stood among the others. "You cast him, no questions asked. Draws in the audience."

I blinked in confusion but didn't question further.

"Class over, get out," Mrs Guru chased us out.

I followed the crowd out of the theater. I swore I saw the guy's eyes follow me. Right...

The students left school. I waited outside for my friend.

"Mizuni," I tackled my best friend.

"Woah. Chill with the hugs, Annika."

"Never!" I cheered. The guy was standing nearby, watching me with intense eyes.

"Who's that?" Mizuni asked.

"I don't know. He auditioned today for the upcoming historical drama play. You should've been there! It was amazing! It was like he was a totally different person!"

"Hello, Annika. How was drama class? Did you get all the attention you wanted?" My ex-friend Jina pretended to pout for me and walked away, flipping her hair. Her heels clicked with every step. I hated her. Had it not been for her interference, Jem would still be alive. And she still had the nerve to make fun of me.

"I hate her so much," I grumbled. Mizuni heard though.

"You two have a bad past, huh?"

"Really bad past," I shook my head. "We used to be close friends, but I got closer to someone else and she got upset. That friend... he's no longer here and Jina had an indirect part to play into... but it was ultimately my fault. He drowned and I was too late to catch him. Weird thing is, no one remembers him. And Jina told everyone I was lying about my friend dying for attention," I ran my fingers through my straight hair, using it as a shield between me and Mizuni. "What a sick joke, right?"

"Wow, that's awful! You must have been devastated and she just called you a liar? Way to kick someone while they're down. Did people change their opinions about you?" she asked sympathetically.

"They thought I was... crazy. Do you think I'm crazy?" I peeped from my curtain of hair.

"Someone that exists but no one else knows?" she stared past me. I looked behind but no was there. "I know all too well what that's like all too well," she looked saddened but gave a small smile. "So, no, I don't think you're crazy."

"Well, that's a relief."

The classroom doors opened and in walked the new drama student. Classmates stared, all eyes on him. I didn't blame them. I could hardly take mine off him. But he seemed a little too... familiar.

"Woah, who's that?" one of our classmates, Natalie, spoke.

"Yes, yes, he's hot. Settle down already," our teacher, Mr Santos, joked. He was a young man, dark hair and tan skin. And... he was Kuya's junior. All the girls, including yours truly, had a crush on him. But how couldn't you? He was funny, kind, patient, smart, attractive... the list goes on!

"Please introduce yourself," Mr Santos instructed the new boy.

"My name is Jeremiel. Pleased to meet you all," he gave the class a cute smile and all the girls started swooning. Jina and Natalie sat behind me, whispering and giggling about the new boy. I rolled my eyes at them. Mr Santos assigned Jeremiel to sit next to Natalie, who immediately started flirting with him. It was getting pretty annoying.

"If you don't mind, could you keep the flirting to a minimum? Your desperation is showing," I told Natalie after I was getting tired of hearing her flirting and giggling.

"Aww, are you jealous that you're not getting any attention, Annika? Why don't you jump into the sea again and fish for some."

"Nah, I'll let you have it since you love it so much."

"Pfft, don't act innocent. First the lie, then the play. What's next, Annie?"

"Don't call me that," I rolled my eyes and turned away. Natalie continued her seduction on the poor boy.

School ended two hours later. I told Kuya I would walk home on my own. I wanted to take a detour somewhere.

"You're walking home today?" Mizuni asked. "Bye then."

"Bye. See you on Monday!" I crossed the road, walked through a dark corridor, and emerged through some thick vegetation.

"I'm back, Jem." I stared at the tall structure. It was rustier and less stable, but to me, it was the safest place. It was as if I could feel Jem here. I climbed up it like it was nothing. When I reached the top, I stared out into the horizon, the sun was disappearing behind the water. The waters that Jem... "I'm weak," I muttered. "And selfish." I sat down and lay on the familiar structure floor. "You know I love you, right? S-so why do you hate me?" No tears still. "Why do you haunt me!" I screamed to the horizon. I realized how pointless it was and climbed down.

At the bottom, stood long legs and a mop of black bed hair. It was the drama boy and my new classmate. "Jeremiel? That is your name, right?" he nodded. "What are you doing here? It's restricted access and no one else knows of this place."

"I saw this from afar and got curious. There weren't any security cameras that I saw, so..."

Liar. Sure, the structure was tall, but it was hidden by the tall trees surrounding it. I decided not to call him out on it. "Okay, have fun I guess." I hurried off, but he grabbed my hand.

"What did you mean when you said this place haunted you?"

I pulled my arm away. "Nothing. Have fun. Goodbye."

"I'm sorry. You didn't let me go, Nika. I was the one who let you fall."