Chapter 22: the truth

August 9th 2020

Today I'll tell you the story since the beginning.

Since I have memory my sister (twin) has raped me everyday. Always at night. When we were little she would invent stories so we would pretend being the characters but she she would always touch me at the end. I'm 17 now and it's always the same. She askes me if I want to hear her idea for the game and if I say no or that it's to boring she invents another one and finds her way.

She has kissed me. Forced me to have sex with her. Chocked me. Touch me. And even if I say I don't want to take my clothes off she gets her hand in my pants or pulls them down. I have lived with this secret for a very long time. I have never said anything because I'm afraid of ruining her life even though she fucked up mine. And I can't tell anybody because we share friends and I don't even know what would happen to her. All my life I've lived in her shadow. ALWAYS. I don't speak if she doesn't want to, I don't do stuff if she doesn't agree, I don't have a life because she gets in the way.

So today I had the courage of telling her what did she thought about me moving with my dad and she would stay with my mom but she said no. When she said that I felt so bad. I knew in that moment that I was never gonna be able of escaping from her. I'm trapped and she is never gonna let me leave. I don't know what to do. I miss living with my dad because I feel safe and she has me trapped. I don't know what to do anymore and I will never be able of telling anyone how much I've suffered.

The worst part is when people talk about having sex or their first kiss she pretends like she's a good person. But she's not. She's a rapist that takes advantage of her sister.

I'm so broken. I need so much help. And I'll never get it